I have long been intrigued by two of the greatest kings in all of Israel. David and his son, Solomon, were men of great character and ability. More than that, they were chosen of the Lord. In 1 Samuel 13:14 we learn that David was a man after the Lord’s own heart. Solomon was given wisdom unlike any other before or after him. (1 Kings 3:12) But for all their admirable qualities, both monarchs had lives that were punctuated with tragedy and disappointment, because of where they placed their hearts.
Just before the Lord gave Moses the commandments and the law on Sinai, he told Moses the blessing he was about to give Israel. In Exodus 19:5-6 we read, “Now therefore, if ye will obey my voice indeed, and keep my covenant, then ye shall be a peculiar treasure unto me above all people: for all the earth is mine: And ye shall be unto me a kingdom of priests, and an holy nation. These are the words which thou shalt speak unto the children of Israel.” The Lord’s blessings are certain when we are obedient. This understanding has caused me to wonder what seeds David and Solomon chose to place in their hearts that spoiled their gardens with weeds.
After the fall of King David with Bathsheba and Uriah, the prophet, Nathan, queried David and asked, “Wherefore hast thou despised the commandment of the Lord, to do evil in his sight?” (2 Samuel 12:9) At some point before his sin, David’s heart turned from the Lord. It was this choice that led to his great sin of adultery, which was followed by murder and deceit.
Solomon followed a similar path to his father and allowed his wives to turn his heart. In JST 1 Kings 11:4, 6 we read, “For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the Lord his God, and it became as the heart of David his father.... And Solomon did evil in the sight of the Lord as David his father, and went not fully after the Lord.” Solomon then promoted idolatry by building up high places for the worship of the gods of his wives.
While we may not intend a deliberate attack on God, our failure to remember Him demonstrates a serious misplacement of our devotion. The prophet Nephi taught, “For the things which some men esteem to be of great worth, both to the body and soul, others set at naught and trample under their feet. Yea, even the very God of Israel do men trample under their feet; I say trample under their feet but I would speak in other words–they set him at naught, and hearken not to the voice of his counsels.” (1 Nephi 19:7)
It is sad to note that David’s adultery, followed by Solomon’s idolatry, led to the division of the kingdom that David worked so hard to successfully unite. He and his son frustrated their life-long efforts because of what they allowed into their hearts. While this pattern may not be the same for all who misplace their devotions, it is a tragic ensign that waves before us.
What a special and sacred place is the heart. It is the container of hopes and dreams. It is the house of our faith. It is where we keep that which is most dear to us. Most importantly, the heart is the receiver in our communication with God – it is where we feel the promptings of the Holy Ghost. But this can only happen by choice, when we treasure the word of the Lord. “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” (3 Nephi 13:21) It should be no great surprise that one thing we often treasure most is love.
While we are commanded by the Lord to love everyone, there are only two people that I am aware of whom we are commanded to love with all our hearts. On one occasion a scribe asked Jesus which was the first of all the commandments. Jesus answered him saying, “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.” (Mark 12:30) Similarly, the Lord revealed to Joseph Smith in the Doctrine & Covenants the importance of loving our spouse to whom we are married. He said, “Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else.” (D&C 42:22)
To love with all your heart implies that you are willing to offer everything you have, including the treasure that you may keep in your heart. When I treasure God and my wife above all else, it isn’t hard to offer that relationship back. If I treasure other things and am willing to offer them, too, then I show that nothing takes preeminence over the two primary relationships in my life. However, if I treasure something else so much that I am not prepared to give them up willingly, I should probably question whether I truly love with all my heart.
For much of my life, I believed that I loved God with all my heart because I could say I had kept the commandments. I don’t worship idols. I haven’t murdered or committed adultery. It wasn’t until I looked at the instruction from the Savior in the Sermon on the Mount a little closer that I gained a greater understanding of what it meant to be truly obedient. In Matthew 5:27 we read, “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” Jesus was speaking, not to the letter of the law, but to the intent of the law. It is in the intent where the seeds of sin begin to sprout.
Returning to the earlier question, “What seeds did David and Solomon chose to place in their hearts that spoiled their gardens with weeds?” I believe the answer lies in the inception of personal desire where intent is born. The issue has everything to do with fidelity with their two primary relationships. The word fidelity represents loyalty, faithfulness, and devotion. Fidelity is not just the abstinence of sin, it is the commitment that we make when we love with all our hearts. When we allow anything to interfere with that commitment, or our covenants, our fidelity is weakened, as is our faith.
With this understanding, the commandments given to Moses have increased depth and meaning for those who are truly faithful. If Jesus was trying to focus on the intent of our hearts when He taught the Sermon on the Mount, I would propose that we begin to practice idolatry in our hearts when we let anything affect our fidelity with God. Similarly, we begin to practice adultery in our hearts when we let anything or anyone affect our fidelity to our spouse. Thus adultery and idolatry have less to do with specific acts and everything to do with our covenants with the two primary relationships given by commandment.
So why are these seeds so important to stop at their inception? Continuing in Doctrine & Covenants 42:23 we read, “And he that looketh upon a woman to lust after her shall deny the faith, and shall not have the Spirit; and if he repents not he shall be cast out.” Not only do we deny our faith in God, because we have set him at naught and have ignored his counsel, we are no longer faithful in either of our covenants. This offends the Holy Spirit and causes it to withdraw. Our situation becomes even more precarious because of the powerful emotions that are involved when we love. These emotions evoke feelings that are so strong, they can mask, block, and even eclipse the promptings of the Holy Ghost. If we replace those promptings that can warn us of danger with feelings of emotion that have no restraint, we may find ourselves on a path without the ability to recognize that we are in danger. We put at risk, not only our covenants, but our ability to receive divine help, peace, and happiness. We also risk losing life-long investments in relationships that were meant and intended by the Lord to last forever. Ere we are aware, like David and Solomon, we misplace our devotions and find ourselves lost.
Recently a friend of mine told me of a couple that had fallen out of love. Their story could likely be retold by many who have been deceived into thinking that there is more to life than what they currently have. I am not certain that two people can fall out of love because their relationship slowly evaporates. I believe it likely, in most cases, that their desires go unchecked and shift to another focus. They allow them to be redirected or given to someone else.
Sometimes it is only a matter of priority. If we let something else, such as career ambitions, interfere with our faithfulness to our covenants and our fidelity to our two primary relationships, we risk losing the spirit. If a job eats up too much of our time so that we don’t spend a sufficient amount with a spouse, that relationship can become weaker. Once weakened, we may find that our desires for love also transfer to another focus. If that job becomes so important that we find it hard to keep the Sabbath Day holy, our relationship with Father becomes weaker. Once weakened, we may find that our desires turn to wealth, entertainment, or even selfishness. We become, as the apostle Paul described in 2 Timothy 3:2-5, “lovers of [our] own selves,” and “lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof.” Thus selfishness becomes a strange form of idolatry.
Because we live in perilous times in the last days where the behavior described by Paul is so prevalent and common, it may be even harder for us to perceive that something is wrong. It becomes easier to fall prey to the temptations of the adversary to break the covenants with our two primary relationships. Conditions around us make it easier for even the very elect to be deceived. (Matthew 24:24)
If we wish not to be deceived, the answer is simple. Keep the commandments and take the Holy Spirit for your guide. Keep your desires in check and maintain absolute fidelity in your relationships with God and your spouse. We find the strength to keep these covenants when we combine for a common purpose. When we pray, we can ask Father for help to strengthen our marriage. As we plan out our lives with our spouses, we can ask for and give support to each other in keeping these commandments. I have found immense happiness and contentment as I have done these two things. My love for my God and my wife have only grown stronger and stronger. I know this has been the source of my happiness. How grateful I have been for the counsel to place my devotions appropriately and truly love with all my heart.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Learning to Be a Steward
Yesterday was a definite milestone for me. It was so exhilarating to finish my first marathon, especially since this goal has been on my list of things to do for a few years. I would not have made it without the support of my family and encouragement from my friends. Like other things that have happened this year, this accomplishment was certainly unlooked for.
If you had told me back in April that I would be running a marathon this year, I wouldn’t have believed it. In a previous blog post, Master the Tempest is Raging, I referred to some physical limitations I had had for several months which I thought would make it impossible to run at all this year. It was back in April that I recounted the whole experience to some friends over dinner. That weekend things changed and I learned an incredible lesson on stewardship. Here is the story.
About a year and a half ago, I was reading Doctrine & Covenants 78:17-21, and had some strong impressions. The scripture reads, "ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you... he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more.... And he that is a faithful and wise steward shall inherit all things."
My understanding of stewardships changed. Before that, I truly believed that nothing I have is mine. It's all the Lord's. He has just allowed me to take care of it. When I do, like the parable of the talents, He increases my stewardship. But after reading this passage of scripture, I had a new understanding. The Lord says, "receiveth all things with thankfulness." If God gives us both trials and blessings, then we need to receive our trials with thankfulness as well. That thought had never occurred to me before, and I can say that it is still not an easy thing to do.
I look back at all the times I have prayed that a trial might end or be taken away, as if to say, “Okay, I’m done. I’ve learned my lesson. Can this be over now?” Suddenly I felt like I could no longer ask such a question if I wanted to be a steward for Father. Instead I have to ask, "What would Thou have me do with this trial? What would Thou have me learn from this?" It completely changed my outlook.
Looking back, I don’t believe it was a coincidence that I developed some discomfort in my lower back shortly afterward. I was being tested on what I had just been taught. From that point my condition seemed to get worse and I was uncertain about what I should do. There were many times I wanted to pray for help to fix the problem, but the spirit wouldn’t let me. I would pray to Father and would be ready to ask for help, but the feeling would come, “Be patient.” That wasn’t easy for me to do, but I did my best.
About a week before my family and I were involved in performing in the production “Savior of the World,” circumstances changed. As I mentioned, Liz and I were having dinner with some close friends where I described the condition with my back. I had tried a variety of things to improve my health, but nothing worked to make me whole. My friend suggested that a lot of runners are able to run through the back pain and work it out. I had tried that previously and found that each time I tried my condition got worse rather than better. I was unsure about what to do next.
Two nights later, I went to a kick-off fireside for a Pioneer Trek that we were planning for the youth in our stake. We watched a video of the previous trek and I was sad that I might not be able to go. I wanted so much to be with the youth for the experience, especially since a couple of my sons would be old enough to go. At the same time, I was also worried that I might undo what little progress I had made so far.
That night, I returned home and knelt in prayer. As I did, I expressed to Father my desires to participate in the activity and how much it meant to me to be with the youth in our stake. For the first time during the whole of this experience, I felt it was okay to ask Father for help with my problem, and He answered my prayer.
The following day I decided to go for a short walk in a nearby Canyon. I didn't want to do too much, but I thought a short distance wouldn't hurt. I felt like I needed to do something to show my faith. As I walked, I stopped for a brief moment and offered a small prayer. "Father, I would really like to go further." An impression followed in my heart and mind, and the best way I can put words to it was, "Why not?" So I kept going. I didn't feel uncomfortable like I had on previous occasions. After a while I said another little prayer in my heart, "I would really like to run." Again the answer was, "Why not?" So I started to run. I only ran a short distance before I was out of breath, but I walked a total of about four miles that evening. I was ecstatic. When I got home, I felt fine. I waited to see how I felt the following day, and found that I had no residual discomfort. Instead I felt better than I had in months. My body felt different.
I don't know how else to explain the feeling, but I could tell my back was healing. It was as though Father had done everything that I could not do, and then He expected me to do the rest. Since that time things have continued to get better at an amazing pace.
The friends we had dinner with inspired me to begin running and take up cycling again. I admired their strength and stamina. I believe the inspiration of my friends was also an answer to my prayers that helped bring resolution to a year-long ordeal. With the change in my health, their examples were just what I needed. The combination of running and cycling seemed to balance each other and increased my core strength. This in turn allowed my back to heal. I was able to work through the discomfort and make some significant progress.
In a short period of time my physical lifestyle changed. I was running farther and faster. I increased the distance and pace of my bike rides. My training was so successful and accelerated so quickly that I believed I could participate in the pioneer trek after all. I went with my wife and two of our sons. Together we walked 25 miles while pushing handcarts. It was a marvelous experience and my heart was full of gratitude. Not only had my back been healed, but I felt that I was in excellent shape for the journey.
With these positive results, my dormant ambition to run a marathon didn’t feel so unattainable. I considered training so I could make an attempt next year. However, the pace of my training accelerated to the point that I thought, “Maybe I can actually do it now.” With a month remaining before the Top of Utah Marathon, I made it a matter of prayer and felt really good. I decided to register and pushed until I felt confident in my ability.
I may not be a fast runner, but I certainly beat my expectations – not only for the race, but where I thought I would be earlier this year. What an amazing feeling it was to have family and friends cheering me on at the end of the marathon, and the end of this experience. Once again, I was overwhelmed with gratitude for the love that I felt in my heart.
Looking back, I am so grateful for the trial. It really was a blessing that I did not recognize. I learned so much about being submissive and patient. I learned to look to Father for strength, and to be content with whatever He feels is best for me. I have learned that amazing things can happen when we put our faith in Him. Father has taught me how to trust and rely upon Him. I have found that I have come closer to the Lord than ever before. What a blessing I would have missed out on if I had not chosen to be a steward.
As we performed in “Savior of the World,” there are a couple parts where we are told that the Lord will bless us and keep his promises, “in His due time.” After this experience, those words rang in my ears. In my case, it was less important when I got better and more important that I learn the lesson Father prepared for me.
I have also discovered that many of the blessings we receive are really trials; Father tests us to see what we will do when he gives us great gifts. Similarly, many of the trials we are given are actually blessings. Though they lack the appearance, they can do so much for our progress. The biggest determinant in whether an experience is a trial or a blessing depends more upon our hearts and their orientation.
I wouldn’t have guessed it a year ago, but I now see this experience as more of a lesson than anything else. I have been grateful for the instruction. I am also very much looking forward to my next run.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
If you had told me back in April that I would be running a marathon this year, I wouldn’t have believed it. In a previous blog post, Master the Tempest is Raging, I referred to some physical limitations I had had for several months which I thought would make it impossible to run at all this year. It was back in April that I recounted the whole experience to some friends over dinner. That weekend things changed and I learned an incredible lesson on stewardship. Here is the story.
About a year and a half ago, I was reading Doctrine & Covenants 78:17-21, and had some strong impressions. The scripture reads, "ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you... he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more.... And he that is a faithful and wise steward shall inherit all things."
My understanding of stewardships changed. Before that, I truly believed that nothing I have is mine. It's all the Lord's. He has just allowed me to take care of it. When I do, like the parable of the talents, He increases my stewardship. But after reading this passage of scripture, I had a new understanding. The Lord says, "receiveth all things with thankfulness." If God gives us both trials and blessings, then we need to receive our trials with thankfulness as well. That thought had never occurred to me before, and I can say that it is still not an easy thing to do.
I look back at all the times I have prayed that a trial might end or be taken away, as if to say, “Okay, I’m done. I’ve learned my lesson. Can this be over now?” Suddenly I felt like I could no longer ask such a question if I wanted to be a steward for Father. Instead I have to ask, "What would Thou have me do with this trial? What would Thou have me learn from this?" It completely changed my outlook.
Looking back, I don’t believe it was a coincidence that I developed some discomfort in my lower back shortly afterward. I was being tested on what I had just been taught. From that point my condition seemed to get worse and I was uncertain about what I should do. There were many times I wanted to pray for help to fix the problem, but the spirit wouldn’t let me. I would pray to Father and would be ready to ask for help, but the feeling would come, “Be patient.” That wasn’t easy for me to do, but I did my best.
About a week before my family and I were involved in performing in the production “Savior of the World,” circumstances changed. As I mentioned, Liz and I were having dinner with some close friends where I described the condition with my back. I had tried a variety of things to improve my health, but nothing worked to make me whole. My friend suggested that a lot of runners are able to run through the back pain and work it out. I had tried that previously and found that each time I tried my condition got worse rather than better. I was unsure about what to do next.
Two nights later, I went to a kick-off fireside for a Pioneer Trek that we were planning for the youth in our stake. We watched a video of the previous trek and I was sad that I might not be able to go. I wanted so much to be with the youth for the experience, especially since a couple of my sons would be old enough to go. At the same time, I was also worried that I might undo what little progress I had made so far.
That night, I returned home and knelt in prayer. As I did, I expressed to Father my desires to participate in the activity and how much it meant to me to be with the youth in our stake. For the first time during the whole of this experience, I felt it was okay to ask Father for help with my problem, and He answered my prayer.
The following day I decided to go for a short walk in a nearby Canyon. I didn't want to do too much, but I thought a short distance wouldn't hurt. I felt like I needed to do something to show my faith. As I walked, I stopped for a brief moment and offered a small prayer. "Father, I would really like to go further." An impression followed in my heart and mind, and the best way I can put words to it was, "Why not?" So I kept going. I didn't feel uncomfortable like I had on previous occasions. After a while I said another little prayer in my heart, "I would really like to run." Again the answer was, "Why not?" So I started to run. I only ran a short distance before I was out of breath, but I walked a total of about four miles that evening. I was ecstatic. When I got home, I felt fine. I waited to see how I felt the following day, and found that I had no residual discomfort. Instead I felt better than I had in months. My body felt different.
I don't know how else to explain the feeling, but I could tell my back was healing. It was as though Father had done everything that I could not do, and then He expected me to do the rest. Since that time things have continued to get better at an amazing pace.
The friends we had dinner with inspired me to begin running and take up cycling again. I admired their strength and stamina. I believe the inspiration of my friends was also an answer to my prayers that helped bring resolution to a year-long ordeal. With the change in my health, their examples were just what I needed. The combination of running and cycling seemed to balance each other and increased my core strength. This in turn allowed my back to heal. I was able to work through the discomfort and make some significant progress.
In a short period of time my physical lifestyle changed. I was running farther and faster. I increased the distance and pace of my bike rides. My training was so successful and accelerated so quickly that I believed I could participate in the pioneer trek after all. I went with my wife and two of our sons. Together we walked 25 miles while pushing handcarts. It was a marvelous experience and my heart was full of gratitude. Not only had my back been healed, but I felt that I was in excellent shape for the journey.
With these positive results, my dormant ambition to run a marathon didn’t feel so unattainable. I considered training so I could make an attempt next year. However, the pace of my training accelerated to the point that I thought, “Maybe I can actually do it now.” With a month remaining before the Top of Utah Marathon, I made it a matter of prayer and felt really good. I decided to register and pushed until I felt confident in my ability.
I may not be a fast runner, but I certainly beat my expectations – not only for the race, but where I thought I would be earlier this year. What an amazing feeling it was to have family and friends cheering me on at the end of the marathon, and the end of this experience. Once again, I was overwhelmed with gratitude for the love that I felt in my heart.
Looking back, I am so grateful for the trial. It really was a blessing that I did not recognize. I learned so much about being submissive and patient. I learned to look to Father for strength, and to be content with whatever He feels is best for me. I have learned that amazing things can happen when we put our faith in Him. Father has taught me how to trust and rely upon Him. I have found that I have come closer to the Lord than ever before. What a blessing I would have missed out on if I had not chosen to be a steward.
As we performed in “Savior of the World,” there are a couple parts where we are told that the Lord will bless us and keep his promises, “in His due time.” After this experience, those words rang in my ears. In my case, it was less important when I got better and more important that I learn the lesson Father prepared for me.
I have also discovered that many of the blessings we receive are really trials; Father tests us to see what we will do when he gives us great gifts. Similarly, many of the trials we are given are actually blessings. Though they lack the appearance, they can do so much for our progress. The biggest determinant in whether an experience is a trial or a blessing depends more upon our hearts and their orientation.
I wouldn’t have guessed it a year ago, but I now see this experience as more of a lesson than anything else. I have been grateful for the instruction. I am also very much looking forward to my next run.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Meaningful Associations
Some people pick their battles. In our house, we have to pick our games. With five kids who are all fairly close in age, games can be the source of both unity and division, especially if Dad gets a little competitive. For the most part, I think I do pretty well. Our family is really pretty good, too. (Although, in this setting, Liz is more of a peacemaker than the rest of us combined.)
One of our favorite games is called Apples to Apples. Inside the game box resides a few decks of cards. The smaller deck of green cards contains descriptive adjectives with a few related words as hints. Each of the cards in the red deck lists a person, place or thing. Play begins as one person, who acts as judge, draws a green card and places it on the table. The object of the game is for each of the other players to place one of their red cards on the table as quickly as possible so the judge can then pick the card that has the strongest association. The results can be pretty humorous when a green card with the word “Haunting” is matched up with cards like “Bates Motel,” “Dating,” or “Poison Ivy.” You get the idea. The choice is pretty subjective, especially when the judges’ ages and experience are spread by a few decades.
When I was the age of our youngest daughter, I remember disliking a particular girl’s name very much. It wasn’t a very good association for me. I think it was because of a particular girl who was particularly not nice to me. I made a conscious effort to NOT like her name. Later, when I found out my sister was going to have a little baby and had decided to name her Heidi, I wondered how she could make such a choice. I had been betrayed. Suddenly, I had to wrestle with my opinions. It didn’t take long before I had changed my mind and absolutely adored the name. I have loved my niece and the name ever since.
I find it fascinating how we can choose to like or dislike something based on a deeper meaning that we associate with the object. I may not like ladders because I fell off of one when I was a kid. I may like ginger snap cookies because it reminds me of my grandpa. Or I may be completely indifferent towards something because I have never made a meaningful association with that object. I think people are much like things in this regard.
People I like are people I’m like. This is a little phrase I have been rather fond of lately because it seems to resonate true. It is not to say that I don’t like people who are different than me; I just tend to be more like those that I like most. I change. For better or worse depends upon the friends I choose. Much depends upon the associations I make.
“Pick your friends carefully.” This is advice that I often heard from Mom growing up. As I have tried to honor her, I am grateful for the difference it has made in my life. She has saved me from heartache and has allowed me some treasured moments.
We move like magnets. Gravity is not just a principle of up and down. The phenomenon of gravitation occurs when any two objects with mass are placed together and the objects naturally attract each other. We are attracted to the earth because of our relative proximity, and the size of the earth.
I believe that gravity also applies to relationships we have with others. We are attracted by both proximity and the importance we place on the relationship. Like magnets, our attraction is also based on orientation. When two magnets are positioned with a common focus, the attraction becomes stronger. Similarly we can also lose attraction when we increase distance or diminish the priority of a relationship.
I tend to feel a great deal of gravity when I make certain choices. It is divinely given to each of us to make choices between right and wrong. Our attraction to one choice or the other depends heavily upon the orientation of our moral compass. If our compass is pointed towards moral integrity we may find an increasing magnetism towards those decisions. If the needle of our compass is oriented more towards selfishness, we will find ourselves making more and more decisions that benefit ourselves at the expense of others. Occasionally our needle vacillates back and forth, leaving us a bit disoriented as to what is right and wrong. Like the example of the map I referenced last week, it is important to look closely at our destination before we set our compass.
I have found a valuable tool for tuning my compass to true north. The key is to set my heart, and my compass, in a true course that does not change before I make any subsequent decisions. By doing so, I increase the magnetism of my needle to an eternal destination – I increase my relative proximity to God, and I place greater priority on my relationship with Him than with anything else. In Doctrine & Covenants 88:63, the Lord tells Joseph Smith, “Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me….” I love the idea that the attraction is not just one way. Father wishes us to draw nearer to Him to allow Him the same opportunity. He only comes as close as we let him, out of respect for our agency.
Of all the relationships I have, I feel safest when Father is my friend. I do not replace reverence, respect or worship with casual familiarity. I do, however, maintain a deep dependence upon Him for happiness, confidence, and support, more than any other friend. The more I follow Him, the more love and gravity I feel towards Him. Each time my faith is rewarded, I develop deeper associations with Father. Covenants, obedience, and discipleship become synonymous with happiness and contentment.
When a green card representing my relationship with Father is placed on the table for me to respond to, I am more confident about winning when my hand is full of meaningful associations.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
One of our favorite games is called Apples to Apples. Inside the game box resides a few decks of cards. The smaller deck of green cards contains descriptive adjectives with a few related words as hints. Each of the cards in the red deck lists a person, place or thing. Play begins as one person, who acts as judge, draws a green card and places it on the table. The object of the game is for each of the other players to place one of their red cards on the table as quickly as possible so the judge can then pick the card that has the strongest association. The results can be pretty humorous when a green card with the word “Haunting” is matched up with cards like “Bates Motel,” “Dating,” or “Poison Ivy.” You get the idea. The choice is pretty subjective, especially when the judges’ ages and experience are spread by a few decades.
When I was the age of our youngest daughter, I remember disliking a particular girl’s name very much. It wasn’t a very good association for me. I think it was because of a particular girl who was particularly not nice to me. I made a conscious effort to NOT like her name. Later, when I found out my sister was going to have a little baby and had decided to name her Heidi, I wondered how she could make such a choice. I had been betrayed. Suddenly, I had to wrestle with my opinions. It didn’t take long before I had changed my mind and absolutely adored the name. I have loved my niece and the name ever since.
I find it fascinating how we can choose to like or dislike something based on a deeper meaning that we associate with the object. I may not like ladders because I fell off of one when I was a kid. I may like ginger snap cookies because it reminds me of my grandpa. Or I may be completely indifferent towards something because I have never made a meaningful association with that object. I think people are much like things in this regard.
People I like are people I’m like. This is a little phrase I have been rather fond of lately because it seems to resonate true. It is not to say that I don’t like people who are different than me; I just tend to be more like those that I like most. I change. For better or worse depends upon the friends I choose. Much depends upon the associations I make.
“Pick your friends carefully.” This is advice that I often heard from Mom growing up. As I have tried to honor her, I am grateful for the difference it has made in my life. She has saved me from heartache and has allowed me some treasured moments.
We move like magnets. Gravity is not just a principle of up and down. The phenomenon of gravitation occurs when any two objects with mass are placed together and the objects naturally attract each other. We are attracted to the earth because of our relative proximity, and the size of the earth.
I believe that gravity also applies to relationships we have with others. We are attracted by both proximity and the importance we place on the relationship. Like magnets, our attraction is also based on orientation. When two magnets are positioned with a common focus, the attraction becomes stronger. Similarly we can also lose attraction when we increase distance or diminish the priority of a relationship.
I tend to feel a great deal of gravity when I make certain choices. It is divinely given to each of us to make choices between right and wrong. Our attraction to one choice or the other depends heavily upon the orientation of our moral compass. If our compass is pointed towards moral integrity we may find an increasing magnetism towards those decisions. If the needle of our compass is oriented more towards selfishness, we will find ourselves making more and more decisions that benefit ourselves at the expense of others. Occasionally our needle vacillates back and forth, leaving us a bit disoriented as to what is right and wrong. Like the example of the map I referenced last week, it is important to look closely at our destination before we set our compass.
I have found a valuable tool for tuning my compass to true north. The key is to set my heart, and my compass, in a true course that does not change before I make any subsequent decisions. By doing so, I increase the magnetism of my needle to an eternal destination – I increase my relative proximity to God, and I place greater priority on my relationship with Him than with anything else. In Doctrine & Covenants 88:63, the Lord tells Joseph Smith, “Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me….” I love the idea that the attraction is not just one way. Father wishes us to draw nearer to Him to allow Him the same opportunity. He only comes as close as we let him, out of respect for our agency.
Of all the relationships I have, I feel safest when Father is my friend. I do not replace reverence, respect or worship with casual familiarity. I do, however, maintain a deep dependence upon Him for happiness, confidence, and support, more than any other friend. The more I follow Him, the more love and gravity I feel towards Him. Each time my faith is rewarded, I develop deeper associations with Father. Covenants, obedience, and discipleship become synonymous with happiness and contentment.
When a green card representing my relationship with Father is placed on the table for me to respond to, I am more confident about winning when my hand is full of meaningful associations.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Walls and Bridges
Castles became very fascinating to me at a young age. One night while I was a boy, I remember my Dad showing me a scrap book of sorts that he had kept. We sat on a couch together in our living room next to a table lamp. I held the book as he turned the pages under the light. The album contained post cards and pictures with deckled edges of places that he and my Mom had visited while they lived in Germany, not long after World War II. His service in the U.S. Army afforded them an opportunity to travel on occasion while they were there.
I remember looking at the pictures of castles such as the Neuschwanstein Castle or the Hohenzollern Castle. I was intrigued by the walls, gates, buttresses, turrets, towers, and crenellated battlements which were romanticized in the castles that came after the late 18th Century. As a boy, I knew none of these names or terms, but that didn’t stop me from being fascinated by them.
I later became interested in older castles that were used more for defending a kingdom. These castles inspired many hours of play as I thought about kings, knights, damsels, and dragons. Their architecture included moats, portcullises, draw bridges, and places to shoot arrows. The large curtain walls that surrounded the keep seemed massive and impenetrable. They were symbols of strength and protection.
Another type of structure that captured my imagination was bridges. Some fascinating examples were built during the Roman Empire such as the Ponte Sant’Angelo in Rome and the Alcántara Bridge in Spain. The Roman’s skill allowed for both traffic and aqueducts that transported water. While some were smaller in size, many spanned great depths and distances. However, these constructions served an opposite purpose to the medieval wall. Rather than trying to keep things out, their purpose was to allow passage through.
Whether it be walls or bridges, these aged structures were both made of carefully cut stone that would require hundreds of masons to assemble. Each required vast amounts of time, energy, and resources. Because of the skill that was employed in their design and construction, many are still standing after several centuries or more.
Walls and bridges have supplied countless metaphor with symbols of strength that we can all relate to. Perhaps this is because they are both familiar to human nature. Our needs are not so very different. There are times in which we want to be connected to or removed from our environment. There are people we want to associate with, and there are others we may prefer to keep at a distance. To accomplish this, I believe we engage in the process of building walls and bridges every day.
Not so reliable as the walls that have lasted for hundreds of years are those portrayed by Robert Frost in his poem, Mending Wall. He describes the annual event of repairing a small wall that is shared by his neighbor. While walls do have their useful purposes, Robert Frost understood the forces that work against them when he said, “Something there is that doesn’t love a wall….” This may suggest that there are natural forces, and those beyond nature, that are apt to tear down certain walls. If we are in the business of building walls, or bridges, it is good to know what we are up against.
Inherently, I don’t believe that walls and bridges are necessarily good or bad. They simply are what they are – devices for our use. Whether we build something that we intend to last for many years, or something that we know we will have to mend annually, I feel it is important to acknowledge the reasons why we build what we build. Occasionally we may be building a wall when we would be happier building a bridge, and vice versa.
So why do we build walls? There are some things in life that are so valuable to us that we would go to any length or cost to defend them. These might be experiences we treasure, relationships we desire, or possessions that have taken great effort to obtain. They might be values, causes, or even covenants. The process of protecting the things we value can sometimes be as satisfying as admiring those same things.
If our desires are more focused on protecting the things we value than the value of the things themselves, we might miss opportunities to be happier. We might build a wall to prevent someone from being a part of our life, when sharing would actually be more beneficial. We may miss opportunities for growth and diversity. In this frame of mind – of guarding our treasure – we may also protect things that don’t need protecting. We may hoard things that were meant to be shared. Some of those things may even spoil. You might debate whether a bird of the wild is more attractive in flight or in a cage. I’ll let you defend your own reasons. I think there are places where both may be appropriate.
Similar to walls, we might ask ourselves why we build bridges. There are some things in life that are hard to reach without making a connection – things that are so attractive to us that we would go to any length or cost to reach them. Usually, reaching them singularly is not enough. If we find happiness once, we are inclined to seek it again and again, thus the need for a more lasting connection. As with our present treasure, it may be experiences, relationships, or possessions that we wish to obtain.
With this desire comes a related danger. If we are more focused on the object of our desire than our own well being, we may find ourselves building bridges that ultimately restrict our happiness. Some individuals choose to connect with a certain drug because of the positive effects they think they will enjoy, only to find that their new found bridge is an addiction that lasts far longer than they intended. The connection is greater than the personal strength they possess. Sadly enough, most addictions fit this description.
Not all such addictions or connections are illegal. There are many who become workaholics as a means of satisfaction. This fulfillment from work takes the place of other relationships that could have longer lasting benefits, especially those that are meant to be eternal. In this case, we build bridges where we ought to have strengthened our walls. Bridges often allow for two-way traffic to traverse. We may leave the safety of our walls and enable other influences to enter the places we once protected so carefully. I believe these bridges apply to anything we share, and with anyone with whom we may share.
Perhaps it is not so important whether we are building a bridge or a wall, as long as we are deliberate in doing so for the right reasons. We should be conscientious about what our end desires are, and if they truly are compatible with the happiness we are seeking. Happiness now in exchange for sorrow later is either irresponsible or an ignorant behavior for one who truly wishes to be happy. We should be certain that our map matches our destination before we travel, not after.
For me, marriage is one of those connections I wish to make permanent. My family is more valuable than anything else I own. Yet I am constantly faced with decisions that may compromise the safety of my treasure. There are many good things that can be distractions if not kept in a proper perspective.
If I am sincere in my declaration, then I must do anything and everything to be deliberate for the right reasons. I build strong bridges that connect me with my wife and children. I defend my keep with walls of protection. From that point, I must maintain that which I have built, using caution as I continue to build both walls and bridges.
As alluded to in Robert Frost’s poem, there are forces beyond nature that play in our lives. Sometimes those forces enable walls to come down. I have found that there are greater forces that can also repair walls and add strength to the things we have built. The greatest strength I have found comes from God. When I do the right things for the right reasons, He strengthens my walls and fortifies my bridges, both. When I keep my greatest treasure in proper perspective, He helps me build additional walls and bridges appropriately.
I have learned, more and more each day, to trust the Master Builder. Like my Dad, Father in Heaven will sit with me and turn the pages as I hold the book under His light.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
I remember looking at the pictures of castles such as the Neuschwanstein Castle or the Hohenzollern Castle. I was intrigued by the walls, gates, buttresses, turrets, towers, and crenellated battlements which were romanticized in the castles that came after the late 18th Century. As a boy, I knew none of these names or terms, but that didn’t stop me from being fascinated by them.
I later became interested in older castles that were used more for defending a kingdom. These castles inspired many hours of play as I thought about kings, knights, damsels, and dragons. Their architecture included moats, portcullises, draw bridges, and places to shoot arrows. The large curtain walls that surrounded the keep seemed massive and impenetrable. They were symbols of strength and protection.
Another type of structure that captured my imagination was bridges. Some fascinating examples were built during the Roman Empire such as the Ponte Sant’Angelo in Rome and the Alcántara Bridge in Spain. The Roman’s skill allowed for both traffic and aqueducts that transported water. While some were smaller in size, many spanned great depths and distances. However, these constructions served an opposite purpose to the medieval wall. Rather than trying to keep things out, their purpose was to allow passage through.
Whether it be walls or bridges, these aged structures were both made of carefully cut stone that would require hundreds of masons to assemble. Each required vast amounts of time, energy, and resources. Because of the skill that was employed in their design and construction, many are still standing after several centuries or more.
Walls and bridges have supplied countless metaphor with symbols of strength that we can all relate to. Perhaps this is because they are both familiar to human nature. Our needs are not so very different. There are times in which we want to be connected to or removed from our environment. There are people we want to associate with, and there are others we may prefer to keep at a distance. To accomplish this, I believe we engage in the process of building walls and bridges every day.
Not so reliable as the walls that have lasted for hundreds of years are those portrayed by Robert Frost in his poem, Mending Wall. He describes the annual event of repairing a small wall that is shared by his neighbor. While walls do have their useful purposes, Robert Frost understood the forces that work against them when he said, “Something there is that doesn’t love a wall….” This may suggest that there are natural forces, and those beyond nature, that are apt to tear down certain walls. If we are in the business of building walls, or bridges, it is good to know what we are up against.
Inherently, I don’t believe that walls and bridges are necessarily good or bad. They simply are what they are – devices for our use. Whether we build something that we intend to last for many years, or something that we know we will have to mend annually, I feel it is important to acknowledge the reasons why we build what we build. Occasionally we may be building a wall when we would be happier building a bridge, and vice versa.
So why do we build walls? There are some things in life that are so valuable to us that we would go to any length or cost to defend them. These might be experiences we treasure, relationships we desire, or possessions that have taken great effort to obtain. They might be values, causes, or even covenants. The process of protecting the things we value can sometimes be as satisfying as admiring those same things.
If our desires are more focused on protecting the things we value than the value of the things themselves, we might miss opportunities to be happier. We might build a wall to prevent someone from being a part of our life, when sharing would actually be more beneficial. We may miss opportunities for growth and diversity. In this frame of mind – of guarding our treasure – we may also protect things that don’t need protecting. We may hoard things that were meant to be shared. Some of those things may even spoil. You might debate whether a bird of the wild is more attractive in flight or in a cage. I’ll let you defend your own reasons. I think there are places where both may be appropriate.
Similar to walls, we might ask ourselves why we build bridges. There are some things in life that are hard to reach without making a connection – things that are so attractive to us that we would go to any length or cost to reach them. Usually, reaching them singularly is not enough. If we find happiness once, we are inclined to seek it again and again, thus the need for a more lasting connection. As with our present treasure, it may be experiences, relationships, or possessions that we wish to obtain.
With this desire comes a related danger. If we are more focused on the object of our desire than our own well being, we may find ourselves building bridges that ultimately restrict our happiness. Some individuals choose to connect with a certain drug because of the positive effects they think they will enjoy, only to find that their new found bridge is an addiction that lasts far longer than they intended. The connection is greater than the personal strength they possess. Sadly enough, most addictions fit this description.
Not all such addictions or connections are illegal. There are many who become workaholics as a means of satisfaction. This fulfillment from work takes the place of other relationships that could have longer lasting benefits, especially those that are meant to be eternal. In this case, we build bridges where we ought to have strengthened our walls. Bridges often allow for two-way traffic to traverse. We may leave the safety of our walls and enable other influences to enter the places we once protected so carefully. I believe these bridges apply to anything we share, and with anyone with whom we may share.
Perhaps it is not so important whether we are building a bridge or a wall, as long as we are deliberate in doing so for the right reasons. We should be conscientious about what our end desires are, and if they truly are compatible with the happiness we are seeking. Happiness now in exchange for sorrow later is either irresponsible or an ignorant behavior for one who truly wishes to be happy. We should be certain that our map matches our destination before we travel, not after.
For me, marriage is one of those connections I wish to make permanent. My family is more valuable than anything else I own. Yet I am constantly faced with decisions that may compromise the safety of my treasure. There are many good things that can be distractions if not kept in a proper perspective.
If I am sincere in my declaration, then I must do anything and everything to be deliberate for the right reasons. I build strong bridges that connect me with my wife and children. I defend my keep with walls of protection. From that point, I must maintain that which I have built, using caution as I continue to build both walls and bridges.
As alluded to in Robert Frost’s poem, there are forces beyond nature that play in our lives. Sometimes those forces enable walls to come down. I have found that there are greater forces that can also repair walls and add strength to the things we have built. The greatest strength I have found comes from God. When I do the right things for the right reasons, He strengthens my walls and fortifies my bridges, both. When I keep my greatest treasure in proper perspective, He helps me build additional walls and bridges appropriately.
I have learned, more and more each day, to trust the Master Builder. Like my Dad, Father in Heaven will sit with me and turn the pages as I hold the book under His light.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
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