How’s Your Appetite?

Some things aren’t right or wrong. They simply are what we make them. My appetites, for instance, as well as my desires and passions, can give me a lot of pleasure and happiness, or they can get me into trouble. On their own they aren’t good or bad, but they are motivators. They provide a reason for me to make choices. And that, I believe, is one of the most important reasons for mortality.

From the time I was nine years old, I had very few issues with my appetite for eating, or so I thought. I enjoyed food and I ate as much as I wanted. Consequently, I was the fat little kid the other kids made fun of, and I was always the last one to be picked on a team for sports. I may not have liked being called fatso or gordo, but I learned to live with it over the next ten years of my life.

Every once in a while during my childhood, I would get sick and lose my appetite. It was usually due to a bad cold or the flu. On a number of such occasions, I remember my Mom asking me, “How’s your appetite?” She knew one of the first signs of recovery was that my appetite would come back. She was right.

These two memories frame an interesting perspective on appetites for me. On one hand, I felt like my active appetite wasn’t a problem, yet I had a hard time controlling it. On the other, the only time my hunger slowed down was when I was sick. Controlling wasn’t a problem because my appetite went away. I’ve found the healthiest place for me to be is right in the middle. Without hunger, I would lose motivation to eat. Without control, I would have no discipline and would have to live with natural consequences. Self-control allows me to enjoy my appetites.

I believe the patterns I have experienced with my appetite to eat can be applied to all of our appetites. Whether it is a desire for a simple indulgence such as a cookie for a snack or dessert, a need for sleep, or a desire for sexual intimacy, all appetites need restraint and control.

The prophet Alma counseled his son, Shiblon, to bridle his passions so that he could be filled with love. (Alma 38:12) He didn’t tell him to be ashamed of his passions, or suppress them. Alma merely cautioned him so that he could enjoy positive natural consequences.

King Benjamin taught that the natural man is an enemy to God. (Mosiah 3:19) Is that because we are inherently evil? I don’t believe so. I do believe it is in our natures to give preference to our appetites, even at the risk of offending God. We like to eat when we are hungry, and we get grumpy when we have to go without. The more I defer to my body, the louder that inner voice gets and the less restraint I have. When I yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, I feel greater spiritual strength and comfort from within. When we do the latter, we are in less danger of being “lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God.” (2 Timothy 3:4)

I have often been inspired by a principle the Lord taught Abraham about self-control. Speaking of Himself, He said, “there is nothing that the Lord thy God shall take in his heart to do but what he will do it.” (Abraham 3:17) God is the perfect example of self-control. If I wish to be like Him, then I must learn to bridle my passions, my desires, and my appetites.

Because our appetites can often be very strong, and can easily sway our decisions in the brevity of a single choice, it is not unlikely that we will make incorrect choices in the moment of hunger. Looking at our appetites ahead of time can help avoid making prejudiced decisions.

One simple question that has helped me to make better choices is this: Will my choice allow me freedom to make more choices, or will it limit my ability to choose?

Eating healthily gives me physical strength and nourishment to take care of my body. If I eat whatever I want without restraint, I personally find that I become overweight and am more inclined to indulge. This allows me less freedom to be physically active, and encourages me to eat more so that I can find some pleasure in satisfying my appetite. Repeating this behavior can lock me in to fewer choices that will help me to be happy. Simply said, I begin to consume for my lusts.

Other appetites can be much more addictive than eating food. When I begin to dedicate – and even consume – more and more of my time, talents, and personal resources to feed an appetite, I believe I am guilty of feeding my lusts, and that makes it harder to feel the spirit.

I feel strongly that we shouldn’t feel guilty for our internal motivations. They are what we make of them. Appetites are wonderful evidence that we are alive and well. The ability to control those motivations helps me to feel empowered, and even more confident that I can act for myself, and not simply be acted upon by my appetites. As long as I am able to recognize and follow the spirit, I feel much better about my choices, and my appetites.


What I Believe…


http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/

Thank You

Beautiful moments, immortal yet fleeting,
Continue to live while housed in my memory.
Slippery recollections secure fast with connections,
As one memory is purposefully linked to another.

Each in a string of moments becomes part of a life,
Carried and sustained by lasting beauty.
The thankful heart that remembers frequently
Too will become immortal as its fuel.

In seeing, I feel and I know, which helps me to heal.
I bow my heart with tears of believing.
Filled with love and wonder, my life I now offer,
Grateful for the beautiful things I remember.


http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/

Fear, Treasure, and Love

I love a good story. My current circumstances may not allow me to travel as much as I would like, but I have found a well crafted story can take me places I could never go to otherwise. Through books, movies, plays, histories, and even songs, I have been to other parts of the world. I have travelled in time, and I have met some amazing people. Whether they are actual or not is not as relevant. The power of a good story is the potential for me to consider things that I have not considered before. While a story may not be real, my application of ideas most certainly is.

As I place myself in the position of a fictitious character and consider how I would respond under a given set of circumstances, I wonder how my experience would compare with theirs. When the narrator of the story understands more than the main character, we often get insight and information that the character does not. More information makes it easier for us to make decisions, or so it seems. While the whole story is not revealed to the reader, it is easier, perhaps, to judge the character in the story unfairly. It may be easy to wish that you could give them some help because you have a clearer perspective. This may be similar to the way a devoted sports fan watching television will shout fruitless advice to a referee who can’t see very clearly. No matter how loud you shout, it may not change the outcome of the story.

Not all stories are told with clarity to the listener. When I am given a story problem to solve, and I have no more information than the main character, we are on equal ground, except for the fact that I am likely more comfortable and I can choose to ignore the problem when I am tired of reading. While I am engaged, however, very often the main character and I are both confused and perplexed. And yet, there is something that keeps me reading. There is something about the ingredients that holds my attention. The story is engaging and I can’t put it down.

Have you ever stopped to consider what makes a good story? Why is it that things which are unclear hold our attention so well? In the case of these questions, I think the power of fiction comes very close to the truth. For me, it’s in the relevance of the story.

The Savior Jesus Christ often taught in parables, or stories, that helped to emphasize a truth. During part of his ministry, “without a parable spake he not unto them.” (Mark 4:34) The examples of his stories were relevant but the meaning was veiled. Many were the times that he would share an example and would then have to explain what the story meant to his closest disciples because they did not understand. His response, “Know ye not this parable? And how then will ye know all parables?” (Mark 4:13)

When His disciples asked Jesus why He taught in parables, He said, “Because it is given unto you to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it is not given.” (Matthew 13:11) To those who are willing to receive shall be given more. But to him that chooses not to receive, he will lose the understanding that he has. Jesus chose to teach this way because the learner could listen and choose whether or not to understand depending on his desires and willingness. The faithful disciple will stop to look for the meaning in the story and then apply it.

Whenever we experience a significant trial in our lives, it may seem as though we are living inside of a parable. The circumstances are relevant by default. They are given to us to act upon. The meaning of the experience may be veiled behind the circumstances, unless we choose to look to the Savior as His disciples did and ask for an interpretation. “Who hath ears to hear, let him hear.” (Matthew 13:9)

As I consider my own question, “What makes a good story?” I find that in many instances I like the story when there is some kind of conflict where the resolution is not clear at first. It is the mystery and the hope of resolution that make the problem worth solving. Usually I can relate to the main character because I can empathize with what they are going through. My experience may not match theirs even closely, but I can relate to their emotions and motivations. Most often I hope to get something out of my investment in the story – I hope to see a different approach to a familiar problem. I like that kind of application.

Most often our emotions are tied to our expectations. If our expectations are met, we feel positive emotions. When they are not, we are left with sadness, frustration, and disappointment. Whether it is a story that we are reading, or whether we are watching the circumstances in our own lives, it is helpful to understand both our emotions and our motivations, that is if you agree with my assessment of what makes a good story.

Ironically, it is the motivations that we enjoy watching in stories of others that make us the most uncomfortable in our own stories. We don’t mind conflict when we can sit in an “easy chair” and observe. But when we are on trial, the fire seems much hotter. It still makes for the best stories, and I like recounting the story a lot more after I know there is a happy ending.

For the purpose of illustration, think of the writings of Shakespeare which can be grouped into three classifications, namely histories, tragedies, and comedies. Histories look at the way a story unfolds based on actual events and choices. Tragedies tell a story about powerful motivations that often do not have a happy ending. And, simply put, you may say that comedies are stories about people where bad decisions turn out all right in the end. Each of us may have a variety of stories in our own lives that are a direct result of our choices.

The determining factor for me as to whether my life’s story has a happy ending or not will depend on my ability to attain my ultimate purpose in life – to return to the presence of God. If I am successful, many of my tragedies may turn out to be comedies after all. My assertion that a good story is composed of relevant motivations and good choices is critical if I want any control over my own outcome. I liked choose-your-own-adventure books when I was a kid, and that hasn’t changed. I still find great happiness knowing that I can choose my own ending in spite of the circumstances that are given to me to act upon. It all comes down to good choices.

So, if our motivations are so critical to our decisions, what is it that motivates us to make good choices? What motivates us to be obedient to God’s commandments? I believe there are three key motivations – fear, treasure, and love. Not much different than good literature, these are the makings of a good story.

Fear is a powerful master when we let it be. It provides motivation to obtain our desires when it seems there is no other way. Choosing to do something we don’t want to do may appear to be a better option than feeling the threat of negative consequences, especially when those consequences may be applied immediately. Fear operates best when there is present danger or risk. Often, but not always, there is a focus on now rather than later. What will I have to give up now if I don’t? What will happen to me if I choose not to? What if it doesn’t work out? Fear has less power when consequences are prolonged. Because it may be hard to tell whether a story is a tragedy or a comedy until the ending, I believe it is safe to say that fear is not the most powerful motivator, not when there is hope.

Treasure gives us something to hope for. When life isn’t as pleasant as we would like, we can always hope for something better. Positive rewards and consequences reinforce the idea that good things happen to people who make good choices. The nature of hope takes the focus off of now and stretches it further and further ahead, usually in the form of some blessing or reward. The more we look forward to such blessings, the more we treasure them. We keep them close to our hearts. In fact we have to eliminate some of our fears to make room for the treasure we hope for. Unfortunately, hope is not the end-all if it is only treasure we seek. Once we have obtained some treasure, it is not difficult for fear to return in greater strength. Instead of resuming old fears, we may fear losing the good things in our lives. What if my treasure is lost? What will I do if I lose everything and have to start over? What if? Treasure may inspire us to act, but it may not have sufficient strength to overpower our doubts. Similarly, hope can do much in the face of fear to fight off the tragedies of life. But like fear, hope is not the most powerful motivator. Hope is too conditional.

Love is another powerful motivator that is often confused with many things. For instance, love and desire are often interchangeable expressions. If I love something, I may desire it. While love may generate desire, desiring something isn’t necessarily love. It is also possible to treasure an object without truly loving it. Loving someone may only be an expression of admiration. In these instances, desiring, treasuring, and admiring are only components of love. They are not the full expression. If we look at a part and forget the whole, love cannot be complete. When love increases to encompass greater aspects of good, it becomes more and more powerful. Without the full expression, love is still prone to weakness. In its perfect form, love is the most powerful motivator. It is without flaw.

Perfect love, or charity, is the pure love of Christ. Because it endures forever, it is both timeless and unconditional. Fear exists in the moment. Hope stretches our patience and endurance. Perfect love, however, knows no bounds. In order to be perfect, this love is completely selfless. As Mormon described, this love “suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.” (Moroni 7:45)

It is a little frightening to look at this powerful motivator because it is so selfless. The implication is that one who desires to have this power must likewise be selfless or the power of love will be ineffective. You can’t use a tool you don’t possess. First you have to seek it. In the case of charity, you seek it by eliminating lesser motivations.

Fear may be an acceptable force when we are less experienced if it points us in the right direction. It is a beginning for our learning. As powerful as it is, fear is not a sufficient motivator to get us past the most difficult trials in life. It is not enough to get us to our eternal home. Fear can start out being a helpful tool, but as we begin to look for the deeper meaning in the parables of our lives, it is not a friend but only a foe.

Treasure and the hope of reward can likewise only get us so far before we run out of gas. The apostle Paul acknowledged this difference when he said, “But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spake as a child. I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” (1 Corinthians 13:11) If we truly believe in God, then we have no need to doubt what He said was true. If we do not doubt, then there is no more need for fear.

President Thomas S. Monson has counseled us that “faith and doubt cannot exist in the same mind at the same time, for one will dispel the other.” (“Come unto Him in Prayer and Faith,” Ensign, Mar. 2009) Likewise our hearts cannot house both faith and fear. Our hope can also do much to crowd out our fears, but the most powerful is still charity. In a letter to his son Moroni, Mormon also taught that “perfect love casteth out all fear.” (Moroni 8:16)

While fear, treasure, and love are powerful motivators, they seem a less likely combination when they are restated as fear, hope, and charity. If we take Paul at his word, and we are ready to find a better way, then it is time to replace fear with faith and rely on faith, hope, and charity instead. In preparation to meet the Lord, Paul counsels, “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.” (1 Corinthians 13:12-13)

Similar to looking through a glass darkly, the veil that is placed over our minds is to test our faith, not our fear. The meaning behind our circumstances is veiled and slowly revealed one clue at a time, according to our faithfulness and capacity to apply spiritual things. Like watching the main character in a story, it is easy to judge and offer suggestions on how to live these principles. Yet, when we are in the story ourselves, overcoming our fears is one of the biggest obstacles we face. Perhaps the only challenge that is more difficult is getting to the point where we do everything out of love and not fear.

If we wish to cast out all fear, Mormon tells us how to obtain the gift of charity. “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ….” (Moroni 7:48) When we seek this gift, the Lord will expand our capacity to love and feel love. He will help us to love one another as He loves us. As we pray for charity, His love will push out the fear in our heart, which will make room for greater faith. As our faith grows brighter and brighter, the veil becomes thinner and thinner.

Just like a good story, we should expect a certain amount of conflict in our lives. Good days and bad days alike are punctuated with opportunities to find a different approach to familiar problems. As we learn to replace our fear with faith and in turn act out of love, we stop fighting the trials that make us stronger. Instead, we tap into a power that is much greater than our own, which allows us to face our fears head on. When we live and love as the Savior did, the parables of our lives begin to make more sense. The meaning behind difficult experiences is unveiled and our hearts are made whole again.

So what makes a good story? Perhaps it is fear and treasure in the beginning, but it is love that makes a perfect ending.


http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/

Trust

Trust is the ransom of the heart.
The note’s demands sought, gathered by time,
Are enormous and firm.
It is the price by which friendship is bought.

This cost is a piece of the soul.
That part of self named, to another once given,
Misplaced or not,
Can be rejected but never reclaimed.

Take care where the soul is spent.
Whether lost or acquired, there are few greater costs.
Next to life and love,
Few gifts are thought higher.

Trust stretches the capacity to be.
It makes love stronger, and the strength of will deeper.
When it is shared,
The depth of one’s hope lasts longer.

Faith is required to give trust away.
With confidence sure in rewards not yet gained,
Despite risk of loss,
Trust is the power of more.


http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/

Reasons to Love

"The trouble with the world and the trouble with you and me is that we don't love each other enough. And if we do, we don't bother to show it, or we don't bother to say it. If the world is to know love, it has to be in your heart and in mine. And the Lord can fill our hearts with love if we will just go to Him."

- Marjorie Pay Hinckley (1911-2004)

I love this quote by Marjorie Pay Hinckley. Just before she passed away at the age of 92 nearly six years ago, Sister Hinckley was still a very attractive woman. She attracted the hearts of many because of the way she radiated love. She had a presence of strength, resolve, and happiness that are worthy of emulation. Sister Hinckley understood the power of love and how it can bless the lives of many, including those she did not know.

Today my heart is full of more feelings than thoughts. If I can take advantage of Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to reflect on the gift of love, perhaps you will be able to appreciate a small portion of what I am feeling.

****

How many slams in an old screen door?
Depends how loud you shut it.
How many slices in a bread?
Depends how thin you cut it.
How much good inside a day?
Depends how good you live 'em.
How much love inside a friend?
Depends how much you give 'em.

- Shel Silverstein (1930-1999)

There is a certain selfish part of me that is prone to wait for love before giving any away. In the hope that I may discover how much I mean to someone else, I wait for them to demonstrate their love first. Oh, how often understanding is blinded by fear. Regarding the adage that love begets love, I have learned that when I am quick to give love I don’t have to wait long for it to return in abundance. Shel Silverstein reminds me that a friend has so much more to give me when I refuse to wait.

****

“Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.”

- Robert Frost (1874-1963)

Love may be realized in a variety of ways. This power may exist romantically between two individuals. It may also be equally sought for by a parent or child of the other. The desire for friendship outside of a family relationship is also very compelling. But perhaps the greatest need that we may have is to feel the love of God. While hearts may be broken by others, the Lord promises us comfort. “I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me.” (Proverbs 8:17)

“Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find….” (Doctrine & Covenants 88:63)

****

Themes

The strong desire for love is one
that few do not possess.
While often felt, the common theme
is not regarded less.

Without this love, a single heart
feels vacant and alone.
A heart that yearns may fast be stopped
when one holds back their own.

But when one feels and fills a need
for love the heart desires,
that man or woman then can fuel
a thousand glowing fires.

****

There is a great difference between love unfeigned and desire unrestrained. The prophet Alma said to his son, Shiblon, “see that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love….” (Alma 38:12) This would suggest that love is much more than desire. It is exhibited by control and restraint. The absence of such control reflects a shadow of love only, one that is not complete or perfect.

****

“And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail – But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.” (Moroni 7:45-47)

****

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)

“A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” (John 13:34-35)

I will be eternally grateful for the sacrifice that Jesus made for me. I know He lives. I know the things He taught are true, and I will continue to follow the path that He provided that I may be worthy to return to His presence and that of the Father. I hope to change my life so that I may love as He loved, and live as He lived.


http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/

Friends

Looking back at the milestones that mark the past several months, I can say without hesitation that this year has been unparalleled by any other year in my life. 2009 has been the year of amazing friendships. Uniquely, so many started because of the Savior, Jesus Christ. Even He seems much closer than ever before. This is a year that I will always cherish and never forget. Perhaps that is because these friendships have come after a lifetime of seeking.

Growing up, I always wanted a best friend. Everyone else seemed to have one. My circumstances seemed a little different than most because the friends I saw at school during the week were different than those I played with in the neighborhood. And those friends were different than the ones I saw at church on Sunday. That had a lot to do with living at the edge of an elementary school boundary and living at the edge of a congregational ward boundary with a little sliver of cross-over territory shared between the two. It was sort of a no-man’s land. The girl next door was a great friend for a lot of years until it was cooler for girls to play with girls and boys with boys. Still, she is a friend of mine to this day. We had everything in common way back when.

The need for friends didn’t change as I got older, but only increased. There is such a power in finding someone else who thinks like you do, who feels like you do, and who shares the same things in common. I think we all want to trust and be trusted, to love and feel love in return. That need is a powerful motivator. It is also not without a counterpoint growing up.

Becoming a teenager is really an awkward thing to do. It feels strange and it is strange. I know very few people who didn’t feel that way at some point. At that age, most teenagers lack confidence and connection. Almost overnight a change occurs where the need for friends becomes stronger than the need for family. As uncomfortable as that age may feel, I think this desire is really a divine gift Father gives to His children to prompt them out of the comfortable nest of security and into adulthood. It motivates each of us to grow up a little.

Now that I have a couple of sons approaching that age, it is fun looking at the world through their eyes. I am glad they trust me enough to talk about their friends, their interests, and their attractions, namely girls. For all its ups and downs, that period of life results in tremendous growth. What I don’t think most teenagers realize (while they may know everything else) is that for the first time in their life, they are capable of that rapid growth. It is not by accident, but by design.

I realized a defining moment when I found that I was tired of being unpopular and I could do something about it. At that age I always felt that no one wanted to do things with me because they never asked. So I would stay home and feel sorry for myself. That all changed one day with an idea. “Maybe there are other people who are waiting for someone to extend an invitation like I am. Maybe they really are just like me.”

With that thought I picked up a phone and dialed a friend. (Back then, phones still had dials that clicked rather than buttons with digital tones.) He answered with a hello and I responded, “Hey, a group of us are going bowling, would you like to go?” He replied, “Sure. Who is going? I responded, “Well, right now, you and me, but I have a few more phone calls to make.” I didn’t see my comment as being dishonest. For the first time in my life, I was exhibiting a little bit of confidence in the future. That confidence paid off, and within the hour, there were more than a dozen of us who were included in a friendly game at the bowling alley. That idea, successfully proven, was about to gain momentum.

By the time I graduated from high school, I had some tremendous friends. For the first time in my life I knew what it was like to be so close that you could almost read each other’s minds. It was the closest I had ever come to being of one heart and one mind with someone else. I was fortunate to have really good friends – the kind that pressure you to do good things instead of things that are harmful. Many, many are still good friends. (In fact, you are probably a good number who are actually reading this blog. Cool.)

Attending the University of Utah gave me a new perspective on confidence. I realized that if you acted like you knew what you were doing (instead of being a lost freshman) that people just assumed you did. Better yet, they like being around you because of it. Confidence, if not overbearing, seems to attract other people because it offers some security. Funny thing, much like being happy, confidence is a choice. Deciding to be brave isn’t easy, but it isn’t as hard as it looks either. I am glad I have seen both sides, or I wouldn’t have believed it. My confidence grew and so did my group of friends. Having a little bit of confidence helped me for the next phase in my life.

Serving a two-year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Looking back, I would do it again in a heartbeat. I loved it, and I find I am often a little jealous of young missionaries who are just leaving home for the first time. I think the biggest reason is because of the friends I made.

Again, I found that there were a lot of people who were just like me. They were looking for something, but they were waiting around for someone to come find them. Unfortunately, they hadn’t figured out my little phone trick, and they hadn’t quite figured out what they were missing in life. It was such an amazing experience to share some of the things that have made me wonderfully happy in my life and see that they then became happy, too. But the best part was the relationships.

I recognized that after having a discussion about deeper things, especially things that are eternally true and yet very relevant to now, had a profound affect. One little taste and I was hooked. In a short period of a couple weeks, I found that I felt as close to some of my newest friends as I had to friends that I had known a good part of my life. I marveled at how that could be possible and I observed one common thread every time. When we talked about deeper things, we invited the Holy Ghost to bear witness of the truthfulness of the things that we said. That is His divine role, to testify of divine truths. When that happens, I think we get a reminder of what we felt when we lived in heaven before coming to this earth. It is as though we feel a little piece of home, and we long for it. We yearn for it. And then we crave to have that feeling in our life more and more. It was this feeling, the feeling of having a member of the Godhead included in a new friendship that created a powerful bond as deep as eternity.

Since then I have pondered on what I can do to be a better friend, and how I can be of most help to someone else. I suppose that is why, when I have a chance to share something, that I prefer to share the things that I value most. That is if I know the listening party is interested.

The next phase of my friendship development was meeting and marrying my wife. Though that makes it sound pretty quick it wasn’t quite that fast, but almost. It was here that I found my very best friend in the world. (Thanks, Liz.) I am a romantic at heart, and that part of our relationship has been wonderful, but there has been more that has made our relationship deeper. Together we learned to become one, to have one heart and one mind. I had a taste of that when I was younger, but only to a smaller degree in comparison. Together we found a strong unity that has been the glue in our marriage. Unity is power, and love is a great motivator. These alone should be motivation for finding one to whom you can be true and faithful. Fifteen years of marriage is just the beginning of a friendship we plan to last forever.

During our marriage, other friends have punctuated the paragraphs of our lives like a recurring theme or storyline. Just at the right moments we have had epiphanies of significant importance, and those friends have been there to help, encourage, and inspire. Many times they were there at the moment they were needed the most, in answer to prayer. It has been those friends who have helped to build a shed in the backyard or re-shingle a house. Those are the friends who have invited us to yet another barbeque on the patio or a surprise birthday party for another friend. We have played sports on the field and on the court. We have shared experiences, ideals, goals, thoughts, and prized moments. Without exception, the strongest of those relationships have also had one familiar thread – Father’s hand was in all of them. He brought us together, and He was the one thing we had most in common – He as well as His Son, and our Savior, Jesus Christ. The influence of the Holy Ghost has made all the difference in the feelings we feel when we share deep and significant things. These have been powerful relationships.

This year, however, the year of friendships, has been different. Beginning with a stage production of Savior of the World, where our family all had a chance to participate, my life began to change. Perhaps it had something to do with the role I had to play. Part of it may have been the way that others saw me in addition to what I felt myself. Part of it was definitely my focus on deeper things. Through the experience of thinking about the life and resurrection of Jesus Christ, His sacrifice and His atonement, as we rehearsed, sang, and performed, each of us knew Him a little better than before. Each of us wanted to know Him more than we had before. Most importantly, each of us learned what it meant to worship Him and to feel closer to Him. That is the most beautiful feeling I have ever experienced. Sharing that experience with many others who had the same desire was more powerful than anything else I have known. Love. Unity. Commitment. We felt these and an overwhelming feeling of closeness to God as we focused our lives on Him.

A beautiful thing happens at the Last Supper of our Lord before he offered Himself a sacrifice and ransom for all of us. It happens in the name he gives to His disciples because of their faith. Jesus said, “Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.” (John 15:14-15) What an incredible statement of appreciation for the God of this world to speak to us and call us friend. What a privilege to have Him share that which He treasures.

With this new insight, I yearned like I never had before. I prayed for charity and to feel the love of God like I had not before. I was given new understanding and received according to my prayers. I was given new friends. The friends that I had before became more important to me, and closer, too. Some friends, unlooked for, became especially close. My own wife and children became greater friends and a greater strength to me. Other family members became closer to my heart. They have each been an answer to my prayers. Like Jesus said to his disciples, “that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you. These things I command you, that ye love one another.” (John 15:16-17)

From friends I have learned to care more deeply. I have cared for more, and I have been cared for by many others. Yet, in spite of the increase, I have come to value relationships with individuals especially, one at a time. I have treasured the importance of “one” the most. There is strength in a group, but there is power in being one.

Interestingly I have found friends in unexpected places. I have renewed old acquaintances via the internet and social networks, and I have made new friends by accomplishing common objectives with strangers. I have even discovered friends among the homeless on the streets. With each, my heart has gotten wider with a desire to be one.

In His intercessory prayer, Jesus prays to the Father that his disciples may be one as He and the Father are one. He continues, “Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word; That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.” (John 17:11, 20-21) This is the path for all those who wish to be with Him in the celestial kingdom of our Father.

As I reflect on examples of friendship in the scriptures, my mind always turns to Jonathan, son of Saul, and friend of David. He was the heir to the throne of his father and yet he loved his friend more. The scripture says, “the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” While his father was the king, Jonathan’s loyalty was to David, because he saw that the spirit of the Lord was with him. Jonathan not only gave him his clothing and his robe, he risked his life repeatedly to save his friend. (1 Samuel 18:1-4) He cared not for the honor of a throne, but only of the honor of his friend. Jonathan understood deep and meaningful relationships. They were his treasure.

Friendships have become my treasure. “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” (3 Nephi 13:21) The deeper the friendship, the greater the treasure. I have been given many gifts this year, but friendship is the greatest of them all. I believe this is also because true friendship is charity, which never faileth. For those who have ever been a friend, I thank you. Your love and prayers have been a great strength. For you who have loved the most, I thank the most for a debt that I will never be able to repay. I have definitely been changed for the better.

Looking back on my childhood, and my desire for friends, I think I have come a long way. I have been blessed abundantly. Fortunately, I can still remember what it was like to want, to long, and to yearn. With that in mind, I now wonder, “Who is the next friend I will make? Are they disguised as a stranger or a beggar? Are they waiting around for someone to come find them? Where can I make a difference for someone else today?” Perhaps they are waiting to have a discussion about deeper things but have only yet to realize it. The only way to find out is to keep looking for friends. That is when discoveries are made.


http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/

Brilliant Light

Christmas morning usually brings about a parental role reversal in our house. Consistently, our children have taken it upon themselves to lead an energetic charge of figurative reveille, minus the bugle. Their sole purpose is to get two very tired parents out of bed. Some day they will understand. Some day we will miss this morning ritual that happens once a year.

In more recent years, we have imposed a rule that Christmas can’t come until 7:00 AM. No buts. The rule mostly works, with a few minor glitches. Our kids may not wake us up deliberately, but we can usually hear their voices just outside our bedroom door, watching the clock and giggling with anticipation. It provides us an opportunity to be slightly disappointed about missing that last 15 minutes of craved-for sleep. But then a smile dawns on our faces, knowing that one of our favorite days of the year has arrived. With a mix of reluctance and excitement, we get out of bed.

Amidst the pleasant anxiety in the air, the morning has a few other procedures of policy that are to be followed carefully. Mom and Dad are the first to go downstairs to the living room. Press conference cameras have to be ready and in position to capture one more memory that will fade all too fast. One of us will take the still shot and the other will take video. We try not to hide behind the cameras too much. There is something to be said about living in the moment rather than always anticipating the future or remembering the past. Still, preserving the past for some future re-run of memories has given us great satisfaction from time to time.

Under the Christmas tree is an “urban sprawl” display of presents. Numbers multiply quickly in a family of seven. It doesn’t take much to cover the small floor of our living room with gifts of affection. The family presents that have been under the tree for days take a back seat to the wrapped presents left by Santa. (I have it on good authority that Santa really likes the cookies and milk the kids leave for him. I wonder about the carrots left for Rudolph.) After the “Santa presents” have been unearthed and enjoyed, we take a break to indulge in a family tradition of eating orange flavored sweet rolls. Properly fed and satisfied, we go back and open gifts given to each other.

Christmas morning has always been beautiful. It is a golden moment that has never left us disappointed. There is a beautiful glow that emanates from each of our children, and not just the Christmas tree lights. They are happy, excited, full of gratitude and love. Liz and I cherish these few remaining Christmas moments with our children at home. There is a greater reluctance to move on as our children unavoidably approach adulthood. In not many years they will be starting families and traditions of their own. This expectation makes it easier to give up the craved-for sleep that we could use a little more of now.

There is one procedure of policy that I didn’t mention in regard to our Christmas morning procession. It is small but essential to our household. Our children have come to accept it because it is just what we do. After Mom and Dad are aroused and have offered our own personal prayers, we invite the children into our bedroom to read from the scriptures. Their own scriptures are ready and waiting for them, prepared the night before. The presents under the tree can wait a little longer. We usually read some passages about the birth of the Savior Jesus Christ, and the love of God. Granted, there is only so much that can be discussed when the mind is distracted by the unknown wonder of what is waiting in the living room. But, first things first, we set the table of our hearts with proper etiquette and place settings. Turning on the brilliant light in our hearts on this special day illuminates everything else we do. We then pray as a family, thanking Father for another wonderful year and for the many, many blessings He has given us. With these preparations complete, we are ready to go down and enjoy the morning.

Regarding the advent of the first coming of Jesus Christ, the apostle John recorded, “In the beginning was the gospel preached through the Son. And the gospel was the word, and the word was with the Son, and the Son was with God, and the Son was of God. The same was in the beginning with God. All things were made by him; and without him was not anything made which was made. In him was the gospel, and the gospel was the life, and the life was the light of men; And the light shineth in the world, and the world perceiveth it not.” (JST John 1:1-5)

The Son, who was with the Father and created all things, consented to be born on earth as a little babe in a stable. Jesus did this for us to provide us with brilliant light – the light of His life, the light of His example, and the light of His love. He gave us everything He had so that we might have life eternal with Him. His very life was a gift to us.

Jesus is “the true light, which lighteth every man who cometh into the world; Even the Son of God.” He was “made flesh, and sent unto us by the will of the Father, And as many as believe on his name shall receive of his fulness. And of his fullness have all we received, even immortality and eternal life, through his grace.” (JST John 1:10, 16)

“John the Baptist bore record, “He received a fulness of truth, yea, even of all truth; And no man receiveth a fulness unless he keepeth his commandments. He that keepeth his commandments receiveth truth and light, until he is glorified in truth and knoweth all things.” (D&C 93:26-28) We give glory to God, when we forsake the evil one and choose the light instead.

The first advent of the Savior was as soft as the light of a star lighting upon the ground. That was His season to come in meekness and humility. We feel His love, and then we share it. In return we feel more love from Him and from others. The gift of love provides a wonderful light by which all may see. It is by this light that we may truly prepare to see Him again.

The Lord revealed to Joseph Smith, “It shall come to pass that every soul who forsaketh his sins and cometh unto me, and calleth on my name, and obeyeth my voice, and keepeth my commandments, shall see my face and know that I am; And that I am the true light that lighteth every man that cometh into the world.”

If we seek Him, if we seek this Jesus of whom the prophets have testified and wise men have witnessed, we shall find Him. Someday we will understand. Hopefully we do not secretly hope that He will delay His coming because it is easier to sleep, or because our Christmas preparations are not yet ready. While it may not be tomorrow, the second advent of the Savior Jesus Christ is nearer. We may not see Him now, but if we are listening we will recognize His voice at the door as He calls to us to follow him. Then will a smile dawn on our faces, knowing that another special season has arrived – a Christmas of a different kind. I look forward to seeing that brilliant light. I look forward to the time when I will be sufficiently prepared. I anxiously await the time when I can greet him on a new Christmas morning.


http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/

Gifts

Each November after Thanksgiving we have a tradition of driving into the Uinta Mountains to cut down a Christmas tree. The permit to cut a tree doesn’t cost much. We spend a lot more on gas for the two hour drive each way. But the memories we pay for are worth the cost.

Personally, I value the tradition much more than the tree. The conversation with family on the way, the company of excellent friends, the hike in the snow while looking for the perfect tree, an occasional snowball fight, the satisfaction of finding said tree, and the reward of delicious treats when we return with our trophies are all part of the experience. (I like treats.) It is a fun tradition to share. We are gone most of the day, but the time seems to go too quickly. I have yet to find a clock with good brakes. As you might guess from my description, the tree really isn’t the focus.

Once the tree is placed in our living room, and a bottle of Sprite is drained and mixed with water to give the tree a drink, we begin decorating. We decorate the house and the tree, both. Our family doesn’t decorate for most holidays, but we do for Christmas. It has little to do with worship of the Savior, perhaps, but it does warm up our home. It puts us in a different mood, a little more ready to share.

Giving our kids a Christmas ornament each year is another tradition we have. After more than a decade of raising five children, we have also increased the number of ornaments on our tree. It’s quite the menagerie and assortment, including figurines of ballerinas, Darth Vader, a piano, princesses, race cars, a black bear from Yellowstone, Mickey Mouse, a guitar, Tinker Bell, and a few different Santa Clauses. Each ornament represents the personal interest or an experience shared by one of our kids for the year that the ornament was given. It’s almost like a dangling journal or diary of sorts.

With the tree properly decorated, the gifts to each other begin to arrive beneath the tree. Some years there are more gifts than others. Some gifts are recycled as one of the youngest in the family gives someone else an item they were once fond of. (We see this as generous rather than cheap.) This year will probably see fewer new gifts beneath the boughs than in the past. The recession has been a different kind of gift. But the amount doesn’t seem to matter. Christmas is a holiday of worship and sharing, and we like to do both.

I am not one for a lot of commercialism, but I love to give gifts. Though I tend to avoid sales, and crowds, and fluff, I like to give something that, even in a small way, says, “I love you,” with perfect clarity. It drives my wife nuts when we set a budget for gifts, because we inevitably have to find a way to rob Peter to pay Paul after I am finished. It isn’t much, and I don’t think I am irresponsible, but it usually involves my time, talents, and the things I have been given. Okay, perhaps this is a justification more than anything, but I like to think that “because I have been given much, I too must give.” (Hymns, 219) When Liz reads this, she will likely grin with an expression on her face that says, “I can see right through your reasons.” Even if she is right, I would rather share than not.

Different from when I was a kid, I don’t care much about receiving presents any more. I have been the recipient of so many blessings from Father that I am happy if I am not given anything. It is gift enough to know that my gifts are received and appreciated and that love is felt in return. That works out well since Liz and I are outnumbered two to five. Our kids love us, and we feel it.

Because this time of year is a time of worship and sharing, it does help me to keep the giving season of Christmas in proper perspective when I consider the best gifts and why they are given. After I think about kids waiting in line to sit on Santa’s lap at the mall or some gathering of friends or co-workers, I also think about the oft repeated instruction by the Savior, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” (Matthew 7:7-8)

While living in Kirtland, Ohio, Joseph Smith was instructed by the Lord on what we should ask for. He was told, “But ye are commanded in all things to ask of God, who giveth liberally; and that which the Spirit testifies unto you even so I would that ye should do….” He continues, “seek ye earnestly the best gifts, always remembering for what they are given…. For… they are given for the benefit of those who love me and keep all my commandments, and him that seeketh so to do; that all may be benefited that seek or that ask of me….” (D&C 46:7-9) If we lack a gift of the spirit that can help us and help others, we should pray earnestly for that gift.

I learn two important keys about asking as I read this passage of scripture. First, we are commanded to ask for the things we do not have. There is a difference between coveting, stealing, and taking, and the instruction to trust, ask, and rely upon Father. When we rely upon Him in faith, He answers our prayers. Secondly, this instruction is not for the perfect or even just those who keep all of Father’s commandments. He promises blessings for those who “seek so to do.” If we are trying, sincerely, He will see our efforts and will more than match them. It also helps if we are earnestly seeking the best gifts.

In a commercialized culture, “best” often refers to the most for the least. It is more and more of what I want. It may include good deals, bargains, and sales. On the other hand, it may be a long list of material things on our grown-up Christmas lists that typically I can only dream of because my wallet always falls short. But these things are not always best for us. Even if we receive them, they may not be gifts.

Yesterday, my oldest son and I were talking about one of his recent needs that he can’t afford at the moment. I thought his need was valid but perhaps bordered on the threshold of wants. Until he could afford the item he wanted, I suggested that he learn to make do. Then I shared a principle that has been very effective in my life.

Many times I find that I have a need for something that I can’t afford. I follow the instruction to pray about it and I tell Father what I need. I then determine in my heart that I will be content with what I have received, and what I may receive. Then I let it go. It’s not that I forget about my need. I still work towards it, but I try not to set my heart on it. When I can demonstrate to Father that I care more about Him than I do the things of this world, He usually gives me what I want anyway. It may not be immediately, but I often find that it is soon. This has worked repeatedly for me, time and time again, and I know that God hears and answers prayers. I have had too many prayers that have been answered to ever doubt again.

So what are the best gifts? If we are to seek them earnestly, then we should first consider what they are and why they are given. Here are a few thoughts.

The Gift of the Holy Ghost
Wilford Woodruff, the fourth president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints taught that the gift of the Holy Ghost is the greatest gift that can be given to man in mortality. He said, “there is no greater gift, there is no greater blessing, there is no greater testimony given to any man on earth.” (Deseret Weekly, April 6, 1889, 451.) Why is this gift so great? Because the Holy Ghost is a member of the Godhead, or Trinity if you will. To feel His influence and follow on a daily basis is to walk with God. If you have ever wanted help to do something hard, what better help could you ask for than to hold His hand through a difficult trial, knowing that He will lead you safely through it. This is a gift that is received through confirmation after an individual has been baptized as described in the scriptures. The gift is operable anytime we are in need and seek to keep Father’s commandments. Anyone who seeks this gift can have it. Once we have been given the gift, others around us can feel that gift through us. We can share this gift and inspire others to seek the gift, too. This gift has the sustaining power to see all of Father’s children safely home.

The Gift of Eternal Life
In a revelation given through Joseph Smith the Prophet to David Whitmer, the Lord revealed, “Therefore, if you will ask of me you shall receive; if you will knock it shall be opened unto you. Seek to bring forth and establish my Zion. Keep my commandments in all things. And if you keep my commandments and endure to the end you shall have eternal life, which gift is the greatest of all the gifts of God.” (D&C 14:5-7)

The gift of eternal life is the greatest gift possible because it is the gift that allows us to become like our Father. It is the gift that binds us to our Savior. With this gift, we are promised an inheritance of all that the Father hath. This means He will share His knowledge, His power, His wisdom, His glory, His kingdom, and worlds and eternities without end. Suffice it to say that we cannot comprehend what this really includes. But we know that He is willing to give us everything, holding nothing back, when we are willing to follow Him and keep His commandments.

The Gift of Charity
Mormon, a prophet in ancient America taught about another important gift, even the gift of charity. He said, “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail— But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.” If we seek for charity, which is the pure love of Christ, we cannot fail.

We are further instructed how to receive this gift which is the greatest of all. Mormon continues, “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; … that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure.” (Moroni 7:46-48)

The Gift of the Fruit of the Tree of Life
In a vision of the Tree of Life, the prophet, Lehi, saw a powerful symbol that can help each of us return to our heavenly home. The tree, which was a representation of ‘the love of God, which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men” is most desirable above all things. (1 Nephi 11:22) After eating some of the fruit, Lehi wanted to share with his family. He knew that the fruit was desirable to make one truly happy. He said, “it was most sweet, above all that I ever before tasted. Yea, and I beheld that the fruit thereof was white, to exceed all the whiteness that I had ever seen. And as I partook of the fruit thereof it filled my soul with exceedingly great joy....” (1 Nephi 8:10-12) There is only one way to the fruit. It is a strait and narrow path that is marked with a rod of iron. As we follow the word of God, He will lead us in that path until we can taste the fruit for ourselves.

Love is the Gift of God Freely Given
A close examination of these last three gifts points out an interesting similarity. They are each the greatest, or the most desirable. Exaltation is the greatest gift. Charity is the greatest of all. The fruit of the tree of life is most desirable. If they are not all exaggerations, then perhaps they all refer to the greatest gift.

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13) Jesus was born into this world so that He could save us. He gave His life so that He might save us. Everything He has done has been for our salvation and exaltation. Salvation comes freely to all, making possible the resurrection. Exaltation can only come when we claim the gift that He so freely offers us.

The tree of life in Lehi’s vision represents the love of God, or the love of Christ. They are the same. Charity is the love of God, or the pure love of Christ. The fruit of which Lehi tasted and found to be more desirable than anything else. When we bear fruits of faith and repentance, we are led to the fruit of the tree of life, of eternal life. Each of these gifts are one and the same. God loves His children and wants them to be happy. He allows them to choose, to act and not be acted upon. The gift has been extended. It is up to us to choose – to reach toward Him to receive the gift or not.

The Gift of Agency Returned
Occasionally you may joke about a gift that you plan to return to the store because it didn’t fit or it wasn’t quite what you wanted. In a different sense, and for entirely opposite reasons, there is a gift that I think is worth returning, and we shouldn’t delay or wait until the day after Christmas to do it.

Like the recycled gifts of my youngest but well intended children, there is so very little that we can give to Father that is not already His. We have but a broken heart and a contrite spirit to offer. The apostle, Elder Neal A. Maxwell said, “as you submit your wills to God, you are giving Him the only thing you can actually give Him that is really yours to give. Don’t wait too long to find the altar or to begin to place the gift of your wills upon it! No need to wait for a receipt; the Lord has His own special ways of acknowledging.” (Ensign, May 2004, 44)

The gift of agency from Father to His children is the one thing that can give Him glory – because out of choice, we choose to become like Him. He allows us the freedom to choose for ourselves what we will do. He can’t force us. But when we submit to Him, and yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit by putting Him first, we demonstrate the amount of love we have for Him, be it great or small. Through our actions our gift is expressed. Through our love and agency returned, we give Him eternal glory.


I feel very blessed to have wonderful family and friends. This past year has been a real gift to me and I am changed for the better. I have never felt so much love and charity in all my life. The pure love of Christ is truly perfect love, and it is wonderful.

Christmas is a wonderful season of the year. It is not just a day. Christmas is an attitude and an opportunity. As we focus on the spirit of Christmas – the Spirit of the Lord – Father will grant unto us the gifts of the spirit that will lead us to the greatest gift of all. This is His gift. This is His desire, that we receive His gift by receiving Him into our hearts. As we do, we may feel Him say, “I love you,” with perfect clarity. May we all seek the love of God this Christmas season. May we ask for it, feel it, and then share it again and again.


http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/

Adultery and Idolatry, or, “With All Your Heart”

I have long been intrigued by two of the greatest kings in all of Israel. David and his son, Solomon, were men of great character and ability. More than that, they were chosen of the Lord. In 1 Samuel 13:14 we learn that David was a man after the Lord’s own heart. Solomon was given wisdom unlike any other before or after him. (1 Kings 3:12) But for all their admirable qualities, both monarchs had lives that were punctuated with tragedy and disappointment, because of where they placed their hearts.

Just before the Lord gave Moses the commandments and the law on Sinai, he told Moses the blessing he was about to give Israel. In Exodus 19:5-6 we read, “Now therefore, if ye will obey my voice indeed, and keep my covenant, then ye shall be a peculiar treasure unto me above all people: for all the earth is mine: And ye shall be unto me a kingdom of priests, and an holy nation. These are the words which thou shalt speak unto the children of Israel.” The Lord’s blessings are certain when we are obedient. This understanding has caused me to wonder what seeds David and Solomon chose to place in their hearts that spoiled their gardens with weeds.

After the fall of King David with Bathsheba and Uriah, the prophet, Nathan, queried David and asked, “Wherefore hast thou despised the commandment of the Lord, to do evil in his sight?” (2 Samuel 12:9) At some point before his sin, David’s heart turned from the Lord. It was this choice that led to his great sin of adultery, which was followed by murder and deceit.

Solomon followed a similar path to his father and allowed his wives to turn his heart. In JST 1 Kings 11:4, 6 we read, “For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the Lord his God, and it became as the heart of David his father.... And Solomon did evil in the sight of the Lord as David his father, and went not fully after the Lord.” Solomon then promoted idolatry by building up high places for the worship of the gods of his wives.

While we may not intend a deliberate attack on God, our failure to remember Him demonstrates a serious misplacement of our devotion. The prophet Nephi taught, “For the things which some men esteem to be of great worth, both to the body and soul, others set at naught and trample under their feet. Yea, even the very God of Israel do men trample under their feet; I say trample under their feet but I would speak in other words–they set him at naught, and hearken not to the voice of his counsels.” (1 Nephi 19:7)

It is sad to note that David’s adultery, followed by Solomon’s idolatry, led to the division of the kingdom that David worked so hard to successfully unite. He and his son frustrated their life-long efforts because of what they allowed into their hearts. While this pattern may not be the same for all who misplace their devotions, it is a tragic ensign that waves before us.

What a special and sacred place is the heart. It is the container of hopes and dreams. It is the house of our faith. It is where we keep that which is most dear to us. Most importantly, the heart is the receiver in our communication with God – it is where we feel the promptings of the Holy Ghost. But this can only happen by choice, when we treasure the word of the Lord. “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” (3 Nephi 13:21) It should be no great surprise that one thing we often treasure most is love.

While we are commanded by the Lord to love everyone, there are only two people that I am aware of whom we are commanded to love with all our hearts. On one occasion a scribe asked Jesus which was the first of all the commandments. Jesus answered him saying, “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.” (Mark 12:30) Similarly, the Lord revealed to Joseph Smith in the Doctrine & Covenants the importance of loving our spouse to whom we are married. He said, “Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else.” (D&C 42:22)

To love with all your heart implies that you are willing to offer everything you have, including the treasure that you may keep in your heart. When I treasure God and my wife above all else, it isn’t hard to offer that relationship back. If I treasure other things and am willing to offer them, too, then I show that nothing takes preeminence over the two primary relationships in my life. However, if I treasure something else so much that I am not prepared to give them up willingly, I should probably question whether I truly love with all my heart.

For much of my life, I believed that I loved God with all my heart because I could say I had kept the commandments. I don’t worship idols. I haven’t murdered or committed adultery. It wasn’t until I looked at the instruction from the Savior in the Sermon on the Mount a little closer that I gained a greater understanding of what it meant to be truly obedient. In Matthew 5:27 we read, “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” Jesus was speaking, not to the letter of the law, but to the intent of the law. It is in the intent where the seeds of sin begin to sprout.

Returning to the earlier question, “What seeds did David and Solomon chose to place in their hearts that spoiled their gardens with weeds?” I believe the answer lies in the inception of personal desire where intent is born. The issue has everything to do with fidelity with their two primary relationships. The word fidelity represents loyalty, faithfulness, and devotion. Fidelity is not just the abstinence of sin, it is the commitment that we make when we love with all our hearts. When we allow anything to interfere with that commitment, or our covenants, our fidelity is weakened, as is our faith.

With this understanding, the commandments given to Moses have increased depth and meaning for those who are truly faithful. If Jesus was trying to focus on the intent of our hearts when He taught the Sermon on the Mount, I would propose that we begin to practice idolatry in our hearts when we let anything affect our fidelity with God. Similarly, we begin to practice adultery in our hearts when we let anything or anyone affect our fidelity to our spouse. Thus adultery and idolatry have less to do with specific acts and everything to do with our covenants with the two primary relationships given by commandment.

So why are these seeds so important to stop at their inception? Continuing in Doctrine & Covenants 42:23 we read, “And he that looketh upon a woman to lust after her shall deny the faith, and shall not have the Spirit; and if he repents not he shall be cast out.” Not only do we deny our faith in God, because we have set him at naught and have ignored his counsel, we are no longer faithful in either of our covenants. This offends the Holy Spirit and causes it to withdraw. Our situation becomes even more precarious because of the powerful emotions that are involved when we love. These emotions evoke feelings that are so strong, they can mask, block, and even eclipse the promptings of the Holy Ghost. If we replace those promptings that can warn us of danger with feelings of emotion that have no restraint, we may find ourselves on a path without the ability to recognize that we are in danger. We put at risk, not only our covenants, but our ability to receive divine help, peace, and happiness. We also risk losing life-long investments in relationships that were meant and intended by the Lord to last forever. Ere we are aware, like David and Solomon, we misplace our devotions and find ourselves lost.

Recently a friend of mine told me of a couple that had fallen out of love. Their story could likely be retold by many who have been deceived into thinking that there is more to life than what they currently have. I am not certain that two people can fall out of love because their relationship slowly evaporates. I believe it likely, in most cases, that their desires go unchecked and shift to another focus. They allow them to be redirected or given to someone else.

Sometimes it is only a matter of priority. If we let something else, such as career ambitions, interfere with our faithfulness to our covenants and our fidelity to our two primary relationships, we risk losing the spirit. If a job eats up too much of our time so that we don’t spend a sufficient amount with a spouse, that relationship can become weaker. Once weakened, we may find that our desires for love also transfer to another focus. If that job becomes so important that we find it hard to keep the Sabbath Day holy, our relationship with Father becomes weaker. Once weakened, we may find that our desires turn to wealth, entertainment, or even selfishness. We become, as the apostle Paul described in 2 Timothy 3:2-5, “lovers of [our] own selves,” and “lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof.” Thus selfishness becomes a strange form of idolatry.

Because we live in perilous times in the last days where the behavior described by Paul is so prevalent and common, it may be even harder for us to perceive that something is wrong. It becomes easier to fall prey to the temptations of the adversary to break the covenants with our two primary relationships. Conditions around us make it easier for even the very elect to be deceived. (Matthew 24:24)

If we wish not to be deceived, the answer is simple. Keep the commandments and take the Holy Spirit for your guide. Keep your desires in check and maintain absolute fidelity in your relationships with God and your spouse. We find the strength to keep these covenants when we combine for a common purpose. When we pray, we can ask Father for help to strengthen our marriage. As we plan out our lives with our spouses, we can ask for and give support to each other in keeping these commandments. I have found immense happiness and contentment as I have done these two things. My love for my God and my wife have only grown stronger and stronger. I know this has been the source of my happiness. How grateful I have been for the counsel to place my devotions appropriately and truly love with all my heart.


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Savior of the World Production

Recently our family performed in a musical production called "Savior of the World." It was a tremendous experience for me and my family. Following are some of my thoughts regarding the experience:

For two weeks, now, I have been pondering the events, firesides, and rehearsals that led up to the production of Savior of the World. It has had a more powerful effect on me than I could ever have imagined. The collective experience has been one of the most spiritual experiences of my life. In the time that has followed, I have had a wide range of emotions – from grand elation to deep mourning. These emotions have been very close to the surface and have caused me to weep many times, both for sorrow and for joy.

I was quite surprised when I first looked at the initial cast list and discovered that I had been asked to play the role of the Savior. Nothing had been further from my mind. I had anticipated nothing more than being in the chorus with our family. While the part meant more involvement than I expected, it has been a wonderful gift.

Our family had initially decided to be in the production as a way to share a unique spiritual experience together. With the exception of our six-year-old daughter, we each participated in learning lines and music. We also had numerous discussions at home that focused on the topics we were rehearsing. Even though our youngest daughter, Anna, was not able to be in the play, she heard us singing the music enough that she knew most of the words herself. Life continued at home much as it always had, but there was a subtle difference. As we began to discuss the life of the Savior more, His light increased in our lives.

We were delighted to find that we were not unique in our experience. Each time we attended the Saturday chorus rehearsals, we made new friends who had similar stories. It was wonderful to meet so many good people from neighboring stakes. I was grateful to become better acquainted with members of my own stake. Each of us had come together to make words and notes on paper become a presentation of testimony and faith. As we worked to learn our parts, the seeds of unity were sown and they began to take root in our hearts. I believe those roots unknowingly intertwined with each other. We became stronger as we relied upon each other for help. We became happier as we found we shared something beautiful. I recognized the seeds of Zion, and longed for it.

I remember meeting for the first time the men who would play the roles of the apostles. We left a chorus rehearsal to act out a scene in an adjacent room. The setting was when Jesus called to them while fishing on the Sea of Galilee. There was no water or fish in that room, just a group of us casually appraising each other, not knowing what to expect. The distance that accompanies unfamiliarity soon left as we practiced our lines and worked together to learn our parts. Each rehearsal began to create a bond between us. I don’t remember which one of us noticed first, but I believe we each felt the influence of the Spirit as we visualized the scripture and tried to repeat the event. This feeling continued to grow until we realized that we felt much like one would expect to feel in the Holy Temple.

The scene where Jesus appears to Mary Magdalene has been one of my favorites from the start of this production. It is there that the hopes and expectations of prophets and saints for hundreds of years is suddenly realized and Mary becomes the first mortal witness of the resurrected Savior. The apostles were too close to the Savior to fully understand what he had taught them. They were too emotionally wounded to believe that he could actually have risen as he said he would. What took place was unprecedented.

The moment when Mary Magdalene recognizes the voice of he Lord and turns to meet Him is extremely significant to each of us. It is a point of realization that what He said is true. It is the point in our lives when we really see, not just with our eyes, but with our faith. He does live, and he will come just as he said. Just as Mary looks into the eyes of the Savior, each of us is meant to have an intimate experience where we turn and recognize the Lord. Each of us can embrace him without touching him. We can hold on to what he taught. We can remember him. Each of us can believe with our hearts and follow with our covenants.

Some of the most spiritual experiences I had did not happen on stage. They occurred back stage, in the green room, and in other unexpected places when I could have individual conversations with many of the cast members. It wasn’t only when we were acting. Those spiritual moments happened when we forged friendships that will bless my life forever. Largely because of the role I played, I felt a unanimous acceptance. I felt the support of everyone involved, and it was a great blessing to me. Then something really beautiful happened. When I put on the costume and the beard and played the part of the Savior, everything changed. Each of the cast would look at me, and yet they weren’t looking at me. For a brief moment in each performance, it was as though I had the privilege of representing everything they believed in. Those moments truly felt sacred. I felt such an outpouring of love for the Lord.

The feeling then continued on stage with Mary Magdalene, the apostles, and the disciples. They looked at me, and yet they were looking past me. It seemed as though they were no longer acting. Instead they were worshipping. It was the Lord, Jesus, they worshipped, even though it was a set on a stage. Since then I have thought much about the topic. I was taught volumes about worship because of what I saw and felt.

After our performances were concluded, a great loss settled in my heart. I experienced sadness like I had not for many years, and I marveled. “How is it possible that this experience could have such a profound effect upon my heart?” Not only had I come to depend on the Lord, I had come to depend on how I felt when we performed. I had come to depend on being with my friends. I had grown accustomed to the roots of unity that had intertwined between us. When it was over, and we could no longer act out the scenes together, there was an immense void. I can only imagine what those who were truly close to the Savior actually felt.

Through this experience, I learned to appreciate mourning more. I discovered that mourning can be a beautiful gift – it can be a reverence for that which we treasure. Mourning for something we no longer have can increase our capacity to live – to do what we need to do to again obtain the thing we have lost. I loved those who loved me, more deeply than I could have ever thought possible. It was so sincere and simple. Every time I think about it, I feel it grip my heart. I feel the sorrow of not being able to experience that feeling the same way again. I am also very blessed to have loved and shared.

For me the play was life changing. My life will be much better because of this experience. Because of what I felt, my heart became more sanctified. I felt a greater desire to remove the obstacles and impurities in my heart. Others came up to me and confided the same feelings, that this production was a great blessing in their lives. They had either experienced difficult times, or they did not feel as close to the Spirit before the play. The play changed that for many.
We reprioritized our lives for a brief time with extra emphasis on the Savior, his words, his life, and his message. Frequently we prayed to Father for His help. I believe the requests became deeper with each prayer, as did our gratitude. We prayed personally, as families, and together as a cast. We prayed in our hearts, continually, and relied upon the Lord. Our prayers were focused. Who can wonder that the answers to our prayers were so great? Everything else in our lives moved or adjusted to accommodate the Savior. This time, there was room at the inn. We made room.

I have found, after having such an amazing experience, that I want to mourn with those who are mourning over the absences of the spirit. I wish to rejoice with my friends over our experiences – because they happened. As I look at the events of the past year that led up to this production, I see the Lord's hand in it. He is doing his work, and he is kind enough to let us assist. I feel as though I have been given a private lesson on how to be a better shepherd. And now I will be. I am better prepared to feed his sheep, because I love Him, and because I love them.

If I could pick one day to live over and over again, it would be that last Saturday. Our preparations, our time together, and our performances made it a very special day. The spirit I felt that day was overwhelming, particularly in our last performance. I hope to never forget the feelings we shared that night.

I express my gratitude to each member of the cast, chorus, and crew for making this such a special and memorable event. I truly love you. Thank you, especially, for being my friend. You were all so wonderful to work with. I know in my heart that the message we shared is entirely true. I know that Jesus is our Savior and Redeemer, of whom we testified. As I pattern my life after His and seek His divine help, I feel His influence in every part of my life. That influence grows in my life as fast as I am willing to let it. It fills my heart and spills over through small acts of services. Because of the witness of the Holy Ghost, I know Jesus came. I also know he will come again. For him I will wait, and I will trust that he will keep his promises. May we all be faithful in our testimonies and the witness that was born to us through this production is my prayer, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.