What Should I Do?

Occasionally someone I know will ask me a general question about confessions. Often the question they want to ask is, “I have done something wrong, and I want to fix it, but do I need to talk to my bishop?” Moments like these are very personal and delicate. Admitting guilt and acknowledging our weaknesses is a difficult thing to do.

Generally, I think there is an awareness that serious transgressions require a confession. This would include deliberate offenses to another person such as intentional physical injury, sexual violations, abuse of any kind, theft, fraud, or illegal activity. Yet, if an individual’s sins are not of that magnitude, he or she may not know if confession is necessary, especially if the sin appears to involve no one else but the individual.

It is not uncommon for someone who has made a serious mistake to wonder, “How do I know if I need to talk to my bishop? What should I say? How much do I have to tell, and what will happen?” I think there are a number of people who could enjoy more peace in their lives if they knew the answers to these questions and acted on them.

The Lord, Himself, said, “Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more. By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins – behold, he will confess them and forsake them.” He also said, “I, the Lord, forgive sins, and am merciful unto those who confess their sins with humble hearts….” Doctrine & Covenants 58:42-43, 61:2)

The simplest answer of how to know if you should confess to a priesthood leader is to follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost. A baptized member of the Lord’s Church is entitled to the companionship of the Holy Ghost. That is what the Lord intends. In His role as the Comforter, the Holy Ghost can provide spiritual guidance, comfort, and peace. If you do not feel His influence, that may be the first indicator that something else is missing. If you have made personal efforts to repent and have confessed to God in prayer, but still do not feel divine help, you may want to council with a bishop to determine why.

Another instance that may suggest a need for confession is when an individual has sinned and made restitution, but does not feel forgiven. It’s as though thoughts of the sin continue to linger and weigh on the mind. A bishop can help an individual determine if there is more they need to do to be forgiven, or if they are simply being harder on themselves than the Lord. Let me share a personal example.

When I was fourteen, I made some poor choices that led to some poorer decisions. This led to a sin that I was ashamed of. In this case, I was not guilty of a serious transgression, but I no longer felt at peace in my life. What I did feel was sincere remorse and I wanted to do whatever it took to have that burden lifted. At the same time, I didn’t want to expose my weaknesses to anyone else. I prayed repeatedly for forgiveness, yet this didn’t seem enough.

Shortly after I prayed, the idea came to my mind that maybe I should talk with my bishop. I dismissed the thought, thinking my sins weren’t that serious, but the idea lingered. It had a presence in my mind that almost seemed to gently nag. I later recognized that persistent presence as the influence and companionship of the Holy Ghost, trying to guide me and answer my prayer.

Finding some courage, and feeling that confession would ease my conscience, I asked my bishop if I could meet with him. He kindly replied yes. Having since served as a bishop, myself, I can imagine how happy he was that I asked him for that opportunity. As we sat together in his office, I didn’t know what to say. I felt awkward. My situation was very uncomfortable. Feeling a need to do something, I began.

I shared with the bishop how I felt at the time, that something was still troubling me. I told him a little about what I had done, enough for him to understand what my sin was. I then explained what I had done to repent and how I still felt uncomfortable. I asked what I should do. He was very kind and understanding. He listened. I hope every bishop will listen as well as he did. My bishop then gave me some counsel. He offered some specific suggestions that would help me avoid the same mistake again. He helped me to clearly understand the impact of my decisions and he reassured me. In that instance, nothing more was needed. He thanked me for talking with him and offered his help again if I needed it.

As I left his office, I remember having an incredible feeling. The heavy burden I carried on my shoulders when I went into his office had been lifted. It was gone. I felt capable and happy. The peace I had been seeking had returned. At that moment, I felt the importance of a bishop as a Judge in Israel. I felt at peace with God, and that was truly worth any amount of discomfort to have it back.

A voluntary willingness to confess and admit one’s sins demonstrates a repentant attitude. Sometimes prayer may not be enough, simply because we need the help of others to overcome greater sins. When our faith is combined, it is much easier to accomplish difficult things. I am grateful to have learned that lesson at an early age.


What I Believe…


http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/

Something Worth Sharing

A little over seventeen years ago I sat in the Celestial Room of the Oakland Temple in California. I had just attended a worship service and was waiting to meet some friends I had not seen in a long time. I will never forget the excitement I felt as they gradually entered the quiet room. Familiar feelings accompanied familiar faces. It was a beautiful moment.

 

The Bacons were the real reason I was there. I met this couple and their two boys when a missionary companion and I were asked to tell them about our beliefs. We shared with them a message about the eternal nature of families and how the gospel of Jesus Christ could help them. Since the time we first met, they decided to be baptized and were confirmed members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. One year later they wanted to have their marriage sealed in the Holy Temple. I was there to see it.

 

That particular Saturday is very special to me. It was the last weekend of the mission I served for my church. The fact that I could attend a temple sealing for the Bacons was a crowning point. Being there in the Temple that day was truly a highlight.

 

In contrast to the excitement I felt for my friends, I also felt some anxiety and sadness. While I wanted to see my family again, I didn’t want to leave all the people I had come to love. I knew that I was about to be separated again for a very long time.

 

The next day I attended church with the congregation not far from my apartment. I continued to have mixed feelings. During the meeting I thought about the unique experiences I had had and the friends I had made. I was overwhelmed and I began to cry. My heart was full of gratitude. In that moment I felt the worth of what I had to share.

 

The teachings of the Savior Jesus Christ have brought me so much joy, more than anything else I have ever experienced. When these blessings are coupled with someone to share them with, they become so much greater. In that moment of sharing, I feel blessed, and the person I share with is also blessed. In a couple of short weeks it was possible for me to feel as close to a new friend as I had with someone I had known my whole life. I attribute that to the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

 

Of all the experiences I have had, the events at the end of my mission are memories I will never forget. I also observed three things:

• It is so rewarding to share when someone is hungry for what you have to offer, especially when what you have to share has great worth.
• The presence and influence of the Holy Ghost can enhance and enrich any relationship, and very often makes it stronger and more binding.
• Living your life in such a way that you can meet friends and family in the presence of God is worth any sacrifice.

My experience in the temple that day became a powerful reminder to me. When I think of my friends who gradually entered the Celestial Room of the temple, and when I remember leaving them again at the end of my mission, I can’t help but think of another meeting that I want to be worthy of. I know God lives and that He has prepared a plan that will help us to be reunited with loved ones again. I am grateful He is willing to provide help all along the way. That help is definitely something worth sharing. I’m glad I got to share it with the Bacons.

 

 

What I Believe…

 

 

http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/

Out on a Limb

I like comparisons, or rather, I like healthy comparisons. Lately I’ve been thinking about some challenges in my life and how they seem to have something in common. The “something” is a recurring theme with a lot of variations. I think I know the theme well enough now that I’m not going out on a limb to share it.

When I was a kid, I liked climbing trees. I don’t remember ever falling out of a tree, or breaking my arm, but I do remember getting stuck in a few places where I needed some help. Feeling stuck is not a comfortable place to be. I don’t have to be hanging from a branch with four fingers to dislike it. Sometimes being in a place where I don’t feel like I can move without help is hard enough. That’s where faith comes in. It is a definite part of the theme.

The feeling of being stuck has been a familiar companion to my most difficult challenges. More often than not, it seems I am presented with a riddle that has no solution. The questions I have asked myself were not hard to understand, but the answers were elusive. Here are a few of my own examples.

How will my wife and I pay off a student loan and afford to start a family? How do I tell my boss I am uncomfortable with a company decision without losing my job? How can I possibly fit time in an already busy schedule to accept a calling and serve in my church? How can I complete my deadline at work without working on the Sabbath? How can I be at an important school play for my daughter and not neglect my client? With all that is expected of me, how will I possibly get everything done?

Whatever my questions may have been, I seem to have faired alright. In spite of elusive answers, my life hasn’t come to a screeching halt, and there isn’t a single question that has stopped me from moving forward. Yet, I have a tendency to freeze up when I am afraid. I avoid the choices I don’t want to make. Regardless of what is real, the way I perceive my circumstances can make it difficult for me to make good choices, especially if I worry too much about all the “what ifs.” The fact that I have navigated each of my challenges in the past is evidence that there was a way to do it.

This pattern of getting through difficult situations points to a significant personal observation – my biggest challenge has been my fears, not my circumstances.

The most successful way I have found through my challenges is to face them, and more importantly to face them with faith. Is this easier said than done? Yes. But, having the faith to believe that there is a way is a very important step. While many of my challenges have had the appearance of being impossible, or at least very unfavorable, not one of them has stopped me. One by one, I tackled each riddle, left my comfort zone, faced my fears, and went out on a limb. Where I thought I was stuck, I became a little less so by working to find a solution. My next step has been to turn to God.

If I truly believe that “with God nothing shall be impossible,” (Luke 1:37) and I won’t be tested “above that which I can bear,” (Alma 13:28) then I should also have faith in God that He will provide a way to get through every challenge. I can have confidence that He has already provided a way for me to get unstuck. This may be through my own efforts, or it may be from someone else who isn’t clinging to a branch. In whatever the circumstance, He will provide help. "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you," is what He has promised. (Matthew 7:7)

Truer than finding a lost object in the last place you think to look, needed help often comes when you are at the end of your rope, or at the end of a branch. It comes right when you think you can’t possibly do any more. This is because you “receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.” (Ether 12:6)

God is our loving Father in Heaven. He wants us to be like Him. We become more like Him as we put our faith in Him – faith enough to do as much as we possibly can before He steps in. It’s the faith to act and face our circumstances, even when we are afraid or don’t want to. As we learn to face our fears and replace them with faith, we learn how to get unstuck faster. It happens with His help.

If you ever feel like you are being tested as much as you can possibly bear, hold on and turn to God. Don’t give up. God intends to test our faith to make us stronger. If you feel like you have to make an impossible decision, remember that help will be on its way. That’s what He has promised, and it’s worth remembering when you are stuck out on a limb.


What I Believe…


http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/