Mormon’s admonition to pray for charity with all energy of heart has been on my mind a lot lately. He understood a principle I feel I am just beginning to understand. While there are many good things we can do in life, there is only one way to return to our Father’s presence, and that is through His Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ. As we live the way He lived, as we choose to do what He did, we become like Him. We become pure.
The gift of charity, or the pure love of Christ, is described as the greatest of all the gifts of God. It is the gift that will lead us to eternal life. While this gift cannot be purchased with money or be received by giving our excess to a charitable organization, the gift comes with a heavy price. The amount is the cost of a single heart offered to the Lord – mine.
The prophet Mormon described this cost to his people. “And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.” (Moroni 7:45)
In the scriptures the word, “suffer,” has two meanings that are related but different. One meaning is to endure pain, distress, loss, separation, or even death. King Benjamin described the suffering that Jesus would endure for our sakes in similar terms. “And lo, he shall suffer temptations, and pain of body, hunger, thirst, and fatigue, even more than man can suffer, except it be unto death; for behold, blood cometh from every pore, so great shall be his anguish for the wickedness and the abominations of his people.” (Mosiah 3:7)
This type of suffering describes all experiences that are difficult and unpleasant. It is usually associated with pain that is either physical, or emotional. Some pain that we feel may only be temporary and fleeting. Pain can also be severe enough that it causes damage and leaves a mark. I find great comfort knowing the atoning sacrifice Jesus made for all mankind will take away our pain and heal our marks. He has made it possible to find hope.
The second meaning of the word, “suffer,” can be found in the New Testament. As a group of people brought their children to be blessed by Jesus, His disciples rebuked them. Jesus’ reply to His disciples was, “Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.” (Mark 10:14) The account of this story does not describe the experience of having young children come to Him as difficult or unpleasant. In fact, it was something that Jesus wanted. In this context the word, “suffer,” means to allow or permit.
As I consider these two meanings in relation to the cost of charity, I am left wondering how they relate. Suffering alone does not equate to love. Merely allowing unpleasant things does not guarantee us greater love, either. However, if I take both meanings and I add them to a common purpose, I get a different result. If I am willing to endure difficult trials and allow Father to direct my life because I trust Him, it may not be pleasant, but in the larger picture I can count on Him to make my life better. When I do hard things out of love, my love increases and my capacity to love increases.
Suffering can often teach us lessons we wouldn’t learn any other way. Paul in his letter to the Hebrews describes the prophet Melchizedek who offered “strong crying and tears” with his prayers that God would save him from death. Little more is known about his experience except that he learned “obedience by the things which he suffered.” (Hebrews 5:6-8) Melchizedek was a man of great faith, but that too came with a cost.
At the beginning of His ministry, Jesus went into the wilderness to pray. “And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights and had communed with God, he was afterward an hungered and was left to be tempted of the devil.” (JST Matthew 4:2) I find it interesting that Jesus was doing something good and was rewarded with a trial. That is how it may look from the first appearance, anyway. Instead, consider that Jesus went into the wilderness to submit to the Father. He wasn’t looking for a reward. He was there to worship. Because His vision was clear in spite of His lack of strength, He was true to the Father and chose not to worship the deceiver.
Sometimes, the only way we learn the lessons Father wants us to is through difficult experiences. Joseph Smith taught that Jesus “suffered temptations but gave no heed unto them.” (Doctrine & Covenants 20:22) He lived a perfect life, but He still suffered and learned grace to grace.
King Benjamin also prophesied of the suffering that Jesus would endure. He said that Jesus would subject Himself to the Father, and that He “suffereth temptation, and yieldeth not to the temptation, but suffereth himself to be mocked, and scourged, and cast out, and disowned by his people. … Yea, even so he shall be led, crucified, and slain, the flesh becoming subject even unto death, the will of the Son being swallowed up in the will of the Father. (Mosiah 15:5-8) This passage includes both definitions of the word “suffer.” Jesus suffered, and He allowed Himself to suffer, that He might gain victory over sin and death.
At a time in his life when it appeared that he could suffer no more, Joseph Smith prayed to the Father for himself and for his people, “O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place? How long shall thy hand be stayed…? let thine heart be softened, and thy bowels moved with compassion toward us.” (Doctrine & Covenants 121:1-2, 4)
The Lord’s reply was merciful. “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes. Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands. Thou art not yet as Job….” (Doctrine & Covenants 121:7-10) The Lord continues, “If thou art called to pass through tribulation;” and he lists a number of examples of suffering, “if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he? Therefore, hold on thy way… for God shall be with you forever and ever. (Doctrine & Covenants 122:5, 7-9)
Poor Joseph. In his darkest moment, he had not yet endured as Job. He had not suffered like the Lord of all. But he did have a reason to hope. God did not abandon Job, but blessed him with increase. The Lord “gave Job twice as much as he had before,” and “blessed the latter end of [his life] more than his beginning.” (Job 42:10, 12) God did not abandon His Only Begotten Son, either. After Jesus knelt in the Garden of Gethsemane, he prayed, “Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.” I love this example because Jesus prayed out of the honesty of His heart. He told Father what he wanted, but then clarified that He would submit to the Father’s will. He suffered. Then, “there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him. And being in agony he prayed more earnestly: and he sweat as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” (Luke 22:42-44, JST Luke 22:44)
The Lord told Joseph Smith, “I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I; Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit – and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink – Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men.” (Doctrine & Covenants 19:16-19)
Knowing that someone else knows what you are going through can be a great comfort. Knowing that Jesus has done something for us so that we wouldn’t have to is a tremendous gift! Knowing that even He had a hard time and didn’t want to do it makes His experience that much more personal to me. Believing that God does not lie and He does not change gives me hope that He will help me and save me in my desperation, too. Faith will get me started in the right direction, and hope will provide motivation when things get difficult. But, it is charity, the pure love of God, that will see me through to the end when my trials seem unbearable.
As I compare the many tears I shed in my own suffering with the blood that was shed in my behalf by the Savior, I am tempted to feel small and ashamed that I am so weak and vulnerable. The thing that saves me from greater self-pity and despair is that Jesus does not ask me to do what He did. I don’t have to suffer the way He did. I just need to live the way He wants me to, and that will be enough. I am not as strong as He is, but together we can do anything. I am not perfect like He is, but I am trying. I am not required to be perfect in my weakness. If I want to be like Jesus, I am required to turn to Him in faith when I am having a hard time. As I turn to him, then I can suffer the difficult lessons. I can allow Father to take the time He needs to make me better. I find I can do more and more through practice and prayer, as long as I have hope.
In the midst of that dark moment for Joseph Smith, the Lord gave him some instruction that was also meant to give him hope. And here we come back to the idea that I started with – charity. “Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distill upon thy soul as the dews from heaven. The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever.” (Doctrine & Covenants 121:45-46) This strength all starts with charity, which never faileth.
Whether it is charity that helps me in suffering, or that I gain more charity through the right kind of suffering, I don’t know for sure. But if I am willing to endure, and allow difficult lessons to shape who I am because I am seeking charity, at least I know that I am moving in the right direction. Little by little, and grace for grace, my heart becomes purer and I become a little more ready to meet my Savior. Each time that my suffering increases, I turn to Father in prayer. And, like Joseph, Melchizedek, and the Savior, Father will hear and answer our prayers. He will send angels to comfort us and buoy us up. I know Father will bless us with that which we seek if we pray for charity with all the energy of heart.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Maybe I’m Still a Toddler
This morning I sat a little more incognito in a church congregation other than my own. The setting was Washington D.C. The sermon was taught by a toddler. In fact he sat in the pew right in front of me. It’s not that the other speakers weren’t uplifting; I just discovered I could learn a lot from a two-year old.
The beautiful young mother who claimed the boy was doing a marvelous job of keeping his sermon under control. She was patient. Knowing the capability of her boy, it may have been that she didn’t want to take the spotlight away from the other sacrament meeting speakers. In any event, I couldn’t help but notice the dialogue between the two after the boy started with an object lesson. He leaned forward, cocked the trigger, and released his body movement backward where he hit his head on the top edge of the pew.
“Don’t bump your head on the bench,” she whispered calmly, “It will hurt.”
“No,” was his reply.
“Yes,” was hers.
“No.”
“Yes. It will.” Her voice remained loving and patient.
“No.” I could tell that he wasn’t trying to be defiant; it just came natural without any thought. He liked the “power word” he had discovered not long ago.
“See this wood right here?” his mother said, pointing to the back of the bench.
The boy looked at the bench, and having done what she said, replied, “No.” Then he repeated the backward movement again and hit his head on the bench. It is possible that it really didn’t hurt, and that is why he said no. I have a suspicion, however, that he was having more fun refuting his mother than he was trying to hit his head.
Sometimes I hit my head on the bench repeatedly, convinced it wont hurt that much. Even if it doesn’t – even if pain is not the issue – Father has prepared specific lessons for me, and if I miss what He is trying to teach me, I just keep banging my head on the wall. It’s more frustrating when, after the fact, I realize what I have been doing, especially if I have refused to look behind me at the pew.
Next it was time for the sacrament, but the boy didn’t pause his sermon at all. He proceeded to hold up his toy, and said, “Helihopter.” He then made raspberry sounds with his tongue trying to simulate the sound of a propeller on a helicopter. Looking at his mother, he asked, “Sacament?” The mother nodded her head. His retort was swift as though he had been preparing his talk for months. “I’na go home!” Perhaps he was convinced that she didn’t understand, or maybe he understood that good preachers will sometimes repeat an idea for effect as he himself continued to repeat, “I’na go home,” over and over, using every possible intonation variation he could think of. I think he was more interested in experimenting to see how many different ways he could say the same thing than he was in trying to get his point across. Eventually he was distracted by the bread and water being passed, at least temporarily.
The boy figured out a new way to make noise when the mother informed him, “don’t do that or you’ll have to go out.” It was amazing to see the thought process parade across his face in a matter of seconds before he looked at her and said, “I’na go out.” Remember, two-year-olds understand emphasis more than we give them credit when they can slow down the pronunciation of a key word by two to three times. The word, “out,” was said in just such a way, with his slightly-whining-tone dropping as he lengthened the word.
I couldn’t help but chuckle, mostly because I could relate. There are a lot of things I “wanna” do sometimes, but I can’t – at least not at the moment. Sometimes I whine, too. It isn’t hard to think, “I would rather be anyplace than here,” when things aren’t going the way I want them to. If I could take an easier way out of a difficult situation, I just might. Most of the time, it isn’t even offered to me.
Whether it is my home on earth, or my home in heaven, I know what it feels like to want to go home, too. That may be my most important goal, but I can often be distracted by what I want. If I am distracted too much, I may want to give up and get out. Seldom does that really get me where I need to go. It is simply another distraction that seems to offer relief.
Once the boy found a quiet activity book with familiar colors and shapes, he left his sermon for a time. I don’t think this had the same effect on me as an intermediate rest hymn (which gives us rest from what, I don’t know), but it too came to an end, as did his attention for the book. Next came another object lesson.
The boy walked over to his little baby sister and apparently wanted to hit her, so he did. This, like everything else in his lesson, came in a pattern that he repeated over and over. Whap, whap, whap. Again, similar to his other messages, I don’t think he was as concerned about hurting his sister as he was in wanting to hit her. Why is it that we have a natural tendency to hurt those we love most, usually without meaning to? His mother saw what was happening and placed her hand in front of her daughter, offering her hand as an alternative target. The boy caught on to the game quick and diverted his fire and brimstone toward a more eager participant.
In this case, the boy’s intent wasn’t wrong; it just needed to be redirected. He was chastened and he hardly noticed. More and more I try to look at what I am doing and ask, “What effect is this having on those around me? Am I hurting them without meaning to? How can I redirect my intent to avoid causing pain?” I really take no pleasure in hurting others, especially those I love most. In order to avoid doing this, I have to look through their eyes, which is not always an easy thing.
As the boy’s sermon drew to a close, he gave one more glance at his mother, paused until she was looking directly at him, and then he repeated his head-banging-on-bench statement to sum up his topic. Was he right? Maybe. Was his mother right? Yes. Did the two see eye to eye by the end of the sermon? No, I don’t think so. That may take a few years, or fifty.
The boy obviously hasn’t been introduced to the concept of a dénouement, or he would have recognized that he had the perfect conclusion to his message. Instead, he sat there smiling for a moment (as if to say, “wait for it…”), then suddenly he ruptured into tears. Kablowey! Instant meltdown. The fact of the matter was that HE WAS HUNGRY, and he just barely noticed. Sadly for him, he didn’t have anything to eat. After the closing prayer, the sobbing boy exited the chapel holding his mother’s hand, still missing the lesson. Or did he?
If I find that I have a greater understanding than a toddler and still exhibit the same behavior, can I rightly say that he understands any less than I do. Sometimes I cry when I don’t get what I want. I make up reasons of why my needs are greater than a toddler. And then, when I look through his eyes, I start to understand that we are not that different.
Each time the boy delivered part of his message, I could see that his intent could be taken wrong. He did one thing, but it usually didn’t match his intent. The truth of the matter is that he was just trying to do his best, staying where he should be, right where his mother and his Father wanted him to be. That was part of the lesson intended for him.
When life gets hard, I remember that my Savior has no intention of hurting me. In fact, in His case, he paid a price that I could not pay at all, just so I wouldn’t have to. He offers His hand to me, regardless of whether I take it or divert my fire and brimstone towards Him. I hope I never do that again. His hand gives me great comfort. His intent is to save me. Fortunately for me, He communicated that clearly without confusion when He offered not only His hand, but His life. I am so grateful for the lessons He has taught me. I am grateful for His gift.
Too many times, the lessons I was meant to learn are so obvious. They have been right in front of my nose the entire time. Sometimes, they are seated on a pew rather than a pulpit.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
The beautiful young mother who claimed the boy was doing a marvelous job of keeping his sermon under control. She was patient. Knowing the capability of her boy, it may have been that she didn’t want to take the spotlight away from the other sacrament meeting speakers. In any event, I couldn’t help but notice the dialogue between the two after the boy started with an object lesson. He leaned forward, cocked the trigger, and released his body movement backward where he hit his head on the top edge of the pew.
“Don’t bump your head on the bench,” she whispered calmly, “It will hurt.”
“No,” was his reply.
“Yes,” was hers.
“No.”
“Yes. It will.” Her voice remained loving and patient.
“No.” I could tell that he wasn’t trying to be defiant; it just came natural without any thought. He liked the “power word” he had discovered not long ago.
“See this wood right here?” his mother said, pointing to the back of the bench.
The boy looked at the bench, and having done what she said, replied, “No.” Then he repeated the backward movement again and hit his head on the bench. It is possible that it really didn’t hurt, and that is why he said no. I have a suspicion, however, that he was having more fun refuting his mother than he was trying to hit his head.
Sometimes I hit my head on the bench repeatedly, convinced it wont hurt that much. Even if it doesn’t – even if pain is not the issue – Father has prepared specific lessons for me, and if I miss what He is trying to teach me, I just keep banging my head on the wall. It’s more frustrating when, after the fact, I realize what I have been doing, especially if I have refused to look behind me at the pew.
Next it was time for the sacrament, but the boy didn’t pause his sermon at all. He proceeded to hold up his toy, and said, “Helihopter.” He then made raspberry sounds with his tongue trying to simulate the sound of a propeller on a helicopter. Looking at his mother, he asked, “Sacament?” The mother nodded her head. His retort was swift as though he had been preparing his talk for months. “I’na go home!” Perhaps he was convinced that she didn’t understand, or maybe he understood that good preachers will sometimes repeat an idea for effect as he himself continued to repeat, “I’na go home,” over and over, using every possible intonation variation he could think of. I think he was more interested in experimenting to see how many different ways he could say the same thing than he was in trying to get his point across. Eventually he was distracted by the bread and water being passed, at least temporarily.
The boy figured out a new way to make noise when the mother informed him, “don’t do that or you’ll have to go out.” It was amazing to see the thought process parade across his face in a matter of seconds before he looked at her and said, “I’na go out.” Remember, two-year-olds understand emphasis more than we give them credit when they can slow down the pronunciation of a key word by two to three times. The word, “out,” was said in just such a way, with his slightly-whining-tone dropping as he lengthened the word.
I couldn’t help but chuckle, mostly because I could relate. There are a lot of things I “wanna” do sometimes, but I can’t – at least not at the moment. Sometimes I whine, too. It isn’t hard to think, “I would rather be anyplace than here,” when things aren’t going the way I want them to. If I could take an easier way out of a difficult situation, I just might. Most of the time, it isn’t even offered to me.
Whether it is my home on earth, or my home in heaven, I know what it feels like to want to go home, too. That may be my most important goal, but I can often be distracted by what I want. If I am distracted too much, I may want to give up and get out. Seldom does that really get me where I need to go. It is simply another distraction that seems to offer relief.
Once the boy found a quiet activity book with familiar colors and shapes, he left his sermon for a time. I don’t think this had the same effect on me as an intermediate rest hymn (which gives us rest from what, I don’t know), but it too came to an end, as did his attention for the book. Next came another object lesson.
The boy walked over to his little baby sister and apparently wanted to hit her, so he did. This, like everything else in his lesson, came in a pattern that he repeated over and over. Whap, whap, whap. Again, similar to his other messages, I don’t think he was as concerned about hurting his sister as he was in wanting to hit her. Why is it that we have a natural tendency to hurt those we love most, usually without meaning to? His mother saw what was happening and placed her hand in front of her daughter, offering her hand as an alternative target. The boy caught on to the game quick and diverted his fire and brimstone toward a more eager participant.
In this case, the boy’s intent wasn’t wrong; it just needed to be redirected. He was chastened and he hardly noticed. More and more I try to look at what I am doing and ask, “What effect is this having on those around me? Am I hurting them without meaning to? How can I redirect my intent to avoid causing pain?” I really take no pleasure in hurting others, especially those I love most. In order to avoid doing this, I have to look through their eyes, which is not always an easy thing.
As the boy’s sermon drew to a close, he gave one more glance at his mother, paused until she was looking directly at him, and then he repeated his head-banging-on-bench statement to sum up his topic. Was he right? Maybe. Was his mother right? Yes. Did the two see eye to eye by the end of the sermon? No, I don’t think so. That may take a few years, or fifty.
The boy obviously hasn’t been introduced to the concept of a dénouement, or he would have recognized that he had the perfect conclusion to his message. Instead, he sat there smiling for a moment (as if to say, “wait for it…”), then suddenly he ruptured into tears. Kablowey! Instant meltdown. The fact of the matter was that HE WAS HUNGRY, and he just barely noticed. Sadly for him, he didn’t have anything to eat. After the closing prayer, the sobbing boy exited the chapel holding his mother’s hand, still missing the lesson. Or did he?
If I find that I have a greater understanding than a toddler and still exhibit the same behavior, can I rightly say that he understands any less than I do. Sometimes I cry when I don’t get what I want. I make up reasons of why my needs are greater than a toddler. And then, when I look through his eyes, I start to understand that we are not that different.
Each time the boy delivered part of his message, I could see that his intent could be taken wrong. He did one thing, but it usually didn’t match his intent. The truth of the matter is that he was just trying to do his best, staying where he should be, right where his mother and his Father wanted him to be. That was part of the lesson intended for him.
When life gets hard, I remember that my Savior has no intention of hurting me. In fact, in His case, he paid a price that I could not pay at all, just so I wouldn’t have to. He offers His hand to me, regardless of whether I take it or divert my fire and brimstone towards Him. I hope I never do that again. His hand gives me great comfort. His intent is to save me. Fortunately for me, He communicated that clearly without confusion when He offered not only His hand, but His life. I am so grateful for the lessons He has taught me. I am grateful for His gift.
Too many times, the lessons I was meant to learn are so obvious. They have been right in front of my nose the entire time. Sometimes, they are seated on a pew rather than a pulpit.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Change
While living in California for a couple of years, I missed a particular family get-together that has been repeatedly retold ever since. The story goes that my niece, a toddler at the time, was just catching on to the concept of Christmas and what it meant to be given a gift. One of the gifts that she received was unforgettable – a pair of socks. She was so excited! Because of her reaction, someone in the family decided to hand her another gift. The socks were rewrapped and presented to her again. To her delight she received “another” pair. I’m not sure exactly how long Christmas kept improving like this until she realized that she was continually reopening the same gift.
Boyd K. Packer once said, “Things that don’t change remain the same.” It’s a nice piece of common sense, don’t you think? With the scarcity of common sense sometimes, it is helpful to have the obvious pointed out so plainly. I often wonder why some circumstances in my life don’t seem to change as fast as I would like. Then I look to see if I have done anything to merit a different outcome. “Hmm. I guess not,” is my usual observation.
My wife and I have been discussing some of our observations about change this week on our early morning walks. I won’t steal too much of her thunder, but she had a great analogy for life’s lessons. We all seem to learn the same lessons, but we often learn them in a different order. Sometimes we don’t learn from them when the opportunity is given to us. Consequently, we keep opening the same present expecting a different result. I’m not sure about you, but I often find the wrapping paper looks a little different, but the bow that wraps up the gift seems to be the same each time.
Whether or not change is desirable seems to have everything to do with choices. If I have control over my choices, and the resulting change, I feel better about things. When I feel like the change is out of my control, and that it limits my choices, I feel very uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel trapped, frozen, or confined. I feel like I am being acted upon because I am not able to control my circumstances. It is interesting to note that agency is the freedom to choose within a given set of conditions. I don’t always get to choose the conditions, which leaves me with the feeling of not having control. This doesn’t mean I have lost my agency, or my ability to choose.
Liz and I recently talked with some good friends about the types of change we have felt and experienced this year. Some changes are a gradual deluge of blessings or trials. Some are more abruptly taken or given. Occasionally a change may appear to take everything you have learned and turn it upside down, as though it no longer is true, only to find out that you just had to shake out the parts that weren’t true to make room for things that are truer. Each type of change has its place in the lessons we get to unwrap. That said, it is still easier to make sense of a difficult lesson after you have gone through it and completed it than it is to get your bearings when you are right in the middle.
One beautiful example of change is the transformation of a caterpillar to a butterfly. The caterpillar has its own type of beauty, while the butterfly has an aesthetic quality that seems to be more widely recognized. Seldom, however, have I heard anyone say, “Hey, look at that! Have you ever seen such a stunning cocoon?” Yet it is inside the veil-thin walls of a cocoon that the beautiful transformation takes place. The separation is just enough for the caterpillar to become something new and amazing, no matter how confining it appears. Having experienced mild forms of claustrophobia before, I wonder what the caterpillar feels like during the process.
Another type of change is related to temperance, or the ability to endure lessened conditions. In the case of tempered steel, a piece of steel is gradually heated to a very hot temperature. At the appropriate time and condition, the steel is then plunged into cold water, which causes a reaction in the metal. The immediate change in circumstances may seem a shock to the system, but it makes the steel much, much stronger. There are times when I have had a gradual increase in blessings, only to have them taken away in an instant. Conversely, I have also had trials that increased gradually to where it seemed I could bear no more, and then there was instantaneous relief. I remember those sudden changes acutely, with both sorrow and happiness.
Whether a slow process of being confined with in a veil or cocoon, or the abrupt process of tempering, change becomes more manageable and endurable when I can count on someone to help me through the process who knows exactly what I am feeling. In many cases, the only one who understands completely is God.
C. S. Lewis compared this transformation process to God helping us with a slight remodeling job. “Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right, and stopping the leaks in the roof, and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably, and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of– throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”
It is often difficult to tell at the onset whether God is giving us a trial or a blessing. There have been many times that I have received a blessing only to discover that it was a test to see if I would do what I said I would do in a circumstance where I had less need. I have also found a number of trials to be great blessings after the fact because of the way they made me stronger, more capable, and more able to receive greater blessings. The more I experience change, the more inclined I am to hold out on passing judgment, and simply acknowledge that Father knows a better way.
The Lord taught Joseph Smith an important principle about accountability. He said, “He that receiveth of God, let him account it of God; and let him rejoice that he is accounted of God worthy to receive.” (Doctrine & Covenants 50:34) Each phrase in this sentence is worth looking at carefully. The Lord doesn’t specify whether it is blessings or trials that we receive at His hand, just that we should acknowledge Him if He is the giver. This also implies that accountability is not just responsibility, but acknowledging duty and devotion to the giver. Lastly, the fact that we have received a trial or blessing from God implies that He feels we are ready for it. Receiving an opportunity or a lesson from God is different than taking it. Perhaps there are trials that may be self-induced, but all blessings come from God and we should rejoice that He stays involved in our personal lives.
If I can get past my initial assessment of whether an experience, opportunity, or lesson is a blessing or a trial, and merely recognize when it is of God, then my perception of the experience undergoes a change. It may not be easy, but my attitude will likely be different and the change begins to affect me internally and not just externally. This requires me to change my mind about changing my heart, a softening that helps me to yield because I know God is always right.
Many years ago when I was a teenager, I read in Matthew 3 where there is a description of John the Baptist. I looked at a footnote to John’s name and saw the following, “The Greek word denotes ‘a change of heart or mind,’ i.e. ‘a conversion.’ ” Since I share his name, I was excited that my name had that kind of meaning. It gave me the desire to be converted to a greater degree. I was inspired to actively seek a change of heart and mind rather than fear it. This simple verse had a great impact on me for many years. It was only recently that I read that same passage again and made a startling discovery. I realized that I had read the wrong footnote. The note that I had attached myself to referred to the word, “repent,” that appears in the adjacent verse. I had been mistaken about the reference perhaps, but I hadn’t been wrong about the meaning.
This epiphany (or rather, apostrophe, if you will) didn’t shatter me because I had been wrong about reality. Whether or not the verse pointed to the footnote that meant so much to me was irrelevant. The important truth, in this case, was that I saw something that inspired me, enough that I wanted to change for the better. I made a choice. The truth was, I had read something full of meaning and I internalized it. It was powerful enough that it caused me to make changes on my own. I had followed a partial idea that led me to a much better place. Occasionally when I experience a change, and the world as I know it seems to turn upside down, I find that I am just shaking off the things that may not be true. Then when everything turns right-side-up again, I have a more accurate picture that leads me to an even better place. So much of my ability to do this depends on faith and intent.
Alma the younger spoke of his father, Alma, and the change that he underwent as he listened to the prophet Abinadi. He said, “And according to his faith there was a mighty change wrought in his heart. Behold I say unto you that this is all true.” (Alma 5:12) Changes were occurring all around Alma the elder. He was being taught that many of his choices had been wrong. Even though he was a priest called to lead the people to do good, he was leading them astray. Alma began to internalize what he heard into something that he could feel. Instead of hardening his heart and resisting change, he softened his heart and acted upon what he knew to be true. Because of his faith, he wrought a mighty change.
The beauty of this example is that Alma was in control of whether he was acting or being acted upon. Rather than choosing to be angry at the implications on his character, he chose the path of greater freedom. He chose not to resist the changes the Lord wanted to make in his life. Alma also records what the Lord did for others. “Behold, he changed their hearts; yea, he awakened them out of a deep sleep, and they awoke unto God.” (Alma 5:7) This suggests that a hardened heart is sleepy and not very cognizant. Choosing to resist God lulls us further to sleep to where we have a diminished sense of reality. On the other hand, obeying God gives us increased understanding, ability, and awareness. When we are presented with an opportunity for positive change, it always leads to a better place.
As a creature of habit and weakness looking for stability and security, change does not come easy for me. A willingness to be obedient doesn’t necessarily make obedience less painful. Instead, that willingness may provide an opportunity to get to a better place with less lingering in sorrow or sleepy resistance. The difficulty of the change does not dissipate or disappear, but the opportunity to change increases my opportunity to find greater happiness sooner. If I wish to be like God, I have to be willing to change. I need to depend upon Him and rely upon His understanding to get me through the transformation. I have to trust that I will be safe within the veil of my understanding. The cocoon is there to protect me as much as provide a reason to have faith. As I am tempered, my desire may grow stronger, but so does my ability to make correct choices. Through practice, I become more and more comfortable with change, even when it is difficult. Through obedience I become more like God.
There is a small irony with change. God is constant and does not vary. “I am the Lord, I change not….” (Malachi 3:6) And yet He asks us to do something that He does not do. Why? God only asks us to change so we can become more like Him. He wants us to eliminate our imperfections and our sins. He wants us to change our hearts to match His. When we have done that, we will no longer be required to change. Until then, He will continue to provide us with opportunities to change for the better. If we see them for what they are, and we internalize these changes in our hearts, He will provide more opportunities. If not, we may find that we keep getting the same opportunity again and again. The wrapping may be different, but the bow that ties it all together is usually the same.
Change is rarely easy, but it is the path back to Father. Placing my faith in Him allows me to internalize the changes occurring around me and soften my heart. As my heart becomes more flexible, I become more like Him. I become more eligible to access His power that makes all things seem possible. All I have to do is turn to Him. Difficult challenges become more manageable and endurable when I can count on someone to help me through the process who knows exactly what I am feeling. In most cases, the only one who fits that description is the One who provided the opportunity for me to change in the first place. Receiving positive change is receiving God. Placing my faith in Him as I open my heart to change makes all the difference in the outcome.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Boyd K. Packer once said, “Things that don’t change remain the same.” It’s a nice piece of common sense, don’t you think? With the scarcity of common sense sometimes, it is helpful to have the obvious pointed out so plainly. I often wonder why some circumstances in my life don’t seem to change as fast as I would like. Then I look to see if I have done anything to merit a different outcome. “Hmm. I guess not,” is my usual observation.
My wife and I have been discussing some of our observations about change this week on our early morning walks. I won’t steal too much of her thunder, but she had a great analogy for life’s lessons. We all seem to learn the same lessons, but we often learn them in a different order. Sometimes we don’t learn from them when the opportunity is given to us. Consequently, we keep opening the same present expecting a different result. I’m not sure about you, but I often find the wrapping paper looks a little different, but the bow that wraps up the gift seems to be the same each time.
Whether or not change is desirable seems to have everything to do with choices. If I have control over my choices, and the resulting change, I feel better about things. When I feel like the change is out of my control, and that it limits my choices, I feel very uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel trapped, frozen, or confined. I feel like I am being acted upon because I am not able to control my circumstances. It is interesting to note that agency is the freedom to choose within a given set of conditions. I don’t always get to choose the conditions, which leaves me with the feeling of not having control. This doesn’t mean I have lost my agency, or my ability to choose.
Liz and I recently talked with some good friends about the types of change we have felt and experienced this year. Some changes are a gradual deluge of blessings or trials. Some are more abruptly taken or given. Occasionally a change may appear to take everything you have learned and turn it upside down, as though it no longer is true, only to find out that you just had to shake out the parts that weren’t true to make room for things that are truer. Each type of change has its place in the lessons we get to unwrap. That said, it is still easier to make sense of a difficult lesson after you have gone through it and completed it than it is to get your bearings when you are right in the middle.
One beautiful example of change is the transformation of a caterpillar to a butterfly. The caterpillar has its own type of beauty, while the butterfly has an aesthetic quality that seems to be more widely recognized. Seldom, however, have I heard anyone say, “Hey, look at that! Have you ever seen such a stunning cocoon?” Yet it is inside the veil-thin walls of a cocoon that the beautiful transformation takes place. The separation is just enough for the caterpillar to become something new and amazing, no matter how confining it appears. Having experienced mild forms of claustrophobia before, I wonder what the caterpillar feels like during the process.
Another type of change is related to temperance, or the ability to endure lessened conditions. In the case of tempered steel, a piece of steel is gradually heated to a very hot temperature. At the appropriate time and condition, the steel is then plunged into cold water, which causes a reaction in the metal. The immediate change in circumstances may seem a shock to the system, but it makes the steel much, much stronger. There are times when I have had a gradual increase in blessings, only to have them taken away in an instant. Conversely, I have also had trials that increased gradually to where it seemed I could bear no more, and then there was instantaneous relief. I remember those sudden changes acutely, with both sorrow and happiness.
Whether a slow process of being confined with in a veil or cocoon, or the abrupt process of tempering, change becomes more manageable and endurable when I can count on someone to help me through the process who knows exactly what I am feeling. In many cases, the only one who understands completely is God.
C. S. Lewis compared this transformation process to God helping us with a slight remodeling job. “Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right, and stopping the leaks in the roof, and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably, and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of– throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”
It is often difficult to tell at the onset whether God is giving us a trial or a blessing. There have been many times that I have received a blessing only to discover that it was a test to see if I would do what I said I would do in a circumstance where I had less need. I have also found a number of trials to be great blessings after the fact because of the way they made me stronger, more capable, and more able to receive greater blessings. The more I experience change, the more inclined I am to hold out on passing judgment, and simply acknowledge that Father knows a better way.
The Lord taught Joseph Smith an important principle about accountability. He said, “He that receiveth of God, let him account it of God; and let him rejoice that he is accounted of God worthy to receive.” (Doctrine & Covenants 50:34) Each phrase in this sentence is worth looking at carefully. The Lord doesn’t specify whether it is blessings or trials that we receive at His hand, just that we should acknowledge Him if He is the giver. This also implies that accountability is not just responsibility, but acknowledging duty and devotion to the giver. Lastly, the fact that we have received a trial or blessing from God implies that He feels we are ready for it. Receiving an opportunity or a lesson from God is different than taking it. Perhaps there are trials that may be self-induced, but all blessings come from God and we should rejoice that He stays involved in our personal lives.
If I can get past my initial assessment of whether an experience, opportunity, or lesson is a blessing or a trial, and merely recognize when it is of God, then my perception of the experience undergoes a change. It may not be easy, but my attitude will likely be different and the change begins to affect me internally and not just externally. This requires me to change my mind about changing my heart, a softening that helps me to yield because I know God is always right.
Many years ago when I was a teenager, I read in Matthew 3 where there is a description of John the Baptist. I looked at a footnote to John’s name and saw the following, “The Greek word denotes ‘a change of heart or mind,’ i.e. ‘a conversion.’ ” Since I share his name, I was excited that my name had that kind of meaning. It gave me the desire to be converted to a greater degree. I was inspired to actively seek a change of heart and mind rather than fear it. This simple verse had a great impact on me for many years. It was only recently that I read that same passage again and made a startling discovery. I realized that I had read the wrong footnote. The note that I had attached myself to referred to the word, “repent,” that appears in the adjacent verse. I had been mistaken about the reference perhaps, but I hadn’t been wrong about the meaning.
This epiphany (or rather, apostrophe, if you will) didn’t shatter me because I had been wrong about reality. Whether or not the verse pointed to the footnote that meant so much to me was irrelevant. The important truth, in this case, was that I saw something that inspired me, enough that I wanted to change for the better. I made a choice. The truth was, I had read something full of meaning and I internalized it. It was powerful enough that it caused me to make changes on my own. I had followed a partial idea that led me to a much better place. Occasionally when I experience a change, and the world as I know it seems to turn upside down, I find that I am just shaking off the things that may not be true. Then when everything turns right-side-up again, I have a more accurate picture that leads me to an even better place. So much of my ability to do this depends on faith and intent.
Alma the younger spoke of his father, Alma, and the change that he underwent as he listened to the prophet Abinadi. He said, “And according to his faith there was a mighty change wrought in his heart. Behold I say unto you that this is all true.” (Alma 5:12) Changes were occurring all around Alma the elder. He was being taught that many of his choices had been wrong. Even though he was a priest called to lead the people to do good, he was leading them astray. Alma began to internalize what he heard into something that he could feel. Instead of hardening his heart and resisting change, he softened his heart and acted upon what he knew to be true. Because of his faith, he wrought a mighty change.
The beauty of this example is that Alma was in control of whether he was acting or being acted upon. Rather than choosing to be angry at the implications on his character, he chose the path of greater freedom. He chose not to resist the changes the Lord wanted to make in his life. Alma also records what the Lord did for others. “Behold, he changed their hearts; yea, he awakened them out of a deep sleep, and they awoke unto God.” (Alma 5:7) This suggests that a hardened heart is sleepy and not very cognizant. Choosing to resist God lulls us further to sleep to where we have a diminished sense of reality. On the other hand, obeying God gives us increased understanding, ability, and awareness. When we are presented with an opportunity for positive change, it always leads to a better place.
As a creature of habit and weakness looking for stability and security, change does not come easy for me. A willingness to be obedient doesn’t necessarily make obedience less painful. Instead, that willingness may provide an opportunity to get to a better place with less lingering in sorrow or sleepy resistance. The difficulty of the change does not dissipate or disappear, but the opportunity to change increases my opportunity to find greater happiness sooner. If I wish to be like God, I have to be willing to change. I need to depend upon Him and rely upon His understanding to get me through the transformation. I have to trust that I will be safe within the veil of my understanding. The cocoon is there to protect me as much as provide a reason to have faith. As I am tempered, my desire may grow stronger, but so does my ability to make correct choices. Through practice, I become more and more comfortable with change, even when it is difficult. Through obedience I become more like God.
There is a small irony with change. God is constant and does not vary. “I am the Lord, I change not….” (Malachi 3:6) And yet He asks us to do something that He does not do. Why? God only asks us to change so we can become more like Him. He wants us to eliminate our imperfections and our sins. He wants us to change our hearts to match His. When we have done that, we will no longer be required to change. Until then, He will continue to provide us with opportunities to change for the better. If we see them for what they are, and we internalize these changes in our hearts, He will provide more opportunities. If not, we may find that we keep getting the same opportunity again and again. The wrapping may be different, but the bow that ties it all together is usually the same.
Change is rarely easy, but it is the path back to Father. Placing my faith in Him allows me to internalize the changes occurring around me and soften my heart. As my heart becomes more flexible, I become more like Him. I become more eligible to access His power that makes all things seem possible. All I have to do is turn to Him. Difficult challenges become more manageable and endurable when I can count on someone to help me through the process who knows exactly what I am feeling. In most cases, the only one who fits that description is the One who provided the opportunity for me to change in the first place. Receiving positive change is receiving God. Placing my faith in Him as I open my heart to change makes all the difference in the outcome.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, July 4, 2010
More
The heart,
Honest, and open, and gratitude driven,
Yearns for more and more –
To give, to share, to live
And become.
The taste of freedom
Exquisitely flavored, ceaselessly stirs.
It moves, arouses, and inspires,
Compelling many acts
To greater distance.
Each pass of freedom plunges the heart
Deeper in devotion, richer in loyalty
And stronger in love,
With a never ending search
For more.
Abraham sought to be, as others,
A greater follower of righteousness.
He searched and obtained
Both door and key
To his exaltation.
The pathway to more, the door and the key,
Are tied as with a ribbon,
Inseparably connecting
Our will with God’s
And the supernal powers of heaven.
And yet, all this is tied to more.
Freedom,
Judiciously granted, one choice at a time,
Is the power to act
Without feeling acted upon.
This is my choosing.
Sin is bondage,
And temptation is testing.
Each time I yield up my sins,
My freedom is increased
With more.
So here I spread my fears and my doubts,
My many bondages I cling to.
I extract all the parasitical things
I’ve acquired in life
And I offer.
Both hoping and waiting,
I follow the path of Abraham
Towards things that are greater.
As he was tried, I’ll take up my test.
I’ll leave my spread behind.
And yet, all this is tied to more.
God has promised to give
All that He has
To those who believe that he will -
More holiness given, increasingly able,
And only my sins to lose.
Trusting, I cast from my heart
All that God requires
With the harmful removed,
And place made ready,
He returns to me my desires.
God spoke to Abraham,
Of sand in the ocean, and stars in the heaven.
Count them, He said. All will be given.
The faithful who wait will yet receive,
In His due time.
Abraham 1:2
D&C 101:4-5
Genesis 22:17
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Honest, and open, and gratitude driven,
Yearns for more and more –
To give, to share, to live
And become.
The taste of freedom
Exquisitely flavored, ceaselessly stirs.
It moves, arouses, and inspires,
Compelling many acts
To greater distance.
Each pass of freedom plunges the heart
Deeper in devotion, richer in loyalty
And stronger in love,
With a never ending search
For more.
Abraham sought to be, as others,
A greater follower of righteousness.
He searched and obtained
Both door and key
To his exaltation.
The pathway to more, the door and the key,
Are tied as with a ribbon,
Inseparably connecting
Our will with God’s
And the supernal powers of heaven.
And yet, all this is tied to more.
Freedom,
Judiciously granted, one choice at a time,
Is the power to act
Without feeling acted upon.
This is my choosing.
Sin is bondage,
And temptation is testing.
Each time I yield up my sins,
My freedom is increased
With more.
So here I spread my fears and my doubts,
My many bondages I cling to.
I extract all the parasitical things
I’ve acquired in life
And I offer.
Both hoping and waiting,
I follow the path of Abraham
Towards things that are greater.
As he was tried, I’ll take up my test.
I’ll leave my spread behind.
And yet, all this is tied to more.
God has promised to give
All that He has
To those who believe that he will -
More holiness given, increasingly able,
And only my sins to lose.
Trusting, I cast from my heart
All that God requires
With the harmful removed,
And place made ready,
He returns to me my desires.
God spoke to Abraham,
Of sand in the ocean, and stars in the heaven.
Count them, He said. All will be given.
The faithful who wait will yet receive,
In His due time.
Abraham 1:2
D&C 101:4-5
Genesis 22:17
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
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