This morning, my thoughts are turned to what I consider the singularly most significant morning of my life. I was not there, but I believe. More than that, I feel. In my mind I see brief moments where a supposed gardener spoke to a woman who was crying. Mary Magdalene was beyond sorrowful, first at the death of Jesus, and secondly, because His body which she had prepared for burial had been taken. It took only one word to renew her hope. Mary. The Lord spoke her name in a very personal way, and she recognized the Master.
I realize that she and I share something in common. Both of us believed in something that we did not see with our eyes, yet heard and then felt in our hearts. This prescribed pattern for most believers is the same, to trust in things that we cannot see but hope are true – things that we feel.
Before Jesus offered his life as a ransom in Gethsemane and at Golgotha, he told his apostles, “These things have I spoken unto you, being yet present with you. But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. (John 14:25-27)
Pondering on the magnitude of the Savior’s sacrifice and the miracle of His glorious resurrection, I am filled with gratitude that He would offer such wonderful gifts to a soul so rebellious and proud as mine. Because He triumphed over the effects of sin and death, I can too. Through His holy name, I can believe, become clean, and live in His presence again. I can be there with family, friends, and loved ones because this gift is offered to all who will believe.
I may not hear the Lord’s voice as clearly as did Mary, but I can still hear His voice call my name when I listen to the voice of His Holy Spirit. When I pay attention to the peace and comforting feeling that attends all truth, the Holy Ghost brings special feelings to my remembrance. It is then that I remember how it feels to be called by the voice of the Master. In a very personal way, I can recognize His invitation to follow Him and have the assurance that it is right.
Had I been at the empty tomb with Mary, and seen the angels who were present, I may not have believed any more than she. Yet as I learn to recognize the promptings of the Holy Ghost, my revelation is as clear as hers. The Master lives, for He is risen. Because of that glorious morning, there will be an eternity of beautiful mornings. Each morning we may hear His voice, if we will but pause to listen and then recognize the Master.
What I Believe…
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Grumpalicious
I sometimes wonder if being grumpy is a technique that gets easier with age. Is it just practice that makes perfect, or does too much familiarity with life make it easier to complain to customer service? Either way I had another grumpy moment this week that I’m not proud of, and I’m going to chalk it up to age. Next, I’m going to figure it out and see if I can make myself a little younger by decreasing my grump proficiency.
My wife and I had just left a particular art gallery on Friday night, when I asked her, “Are you thirsty?” I was thinking large fruit smoothie. I could tell that she, on the other hand, was thinking, “We just spent our month’s date budget on eating out tonight. I’m not sure I want to spend more on a splurge.” She responded that she was thirsty, but water would do. Without verbalizing anything, even to myself, my mood changed. For the moment, being grumpy seemed about as delicious as the smoothie.
Grumpalicious is a term a friend of mine coined years ago as a nick-name for one of her younger brothers. It is a term that seems to describe very well one who is grumpy and is happy being so. On occasion, I have become aware that I have a grownup way of pouting when I don’t get what I want. Am I spoiled? I hope not. But perhaps I have more in common with my young children in that regard. Having said that, I am waiting for the predictable one-liner, “Well, I wonder where they get that from?” followed by a parenthetical wink and text message emoticon.
I don’t think my attitude is what the Savior had in mind when He taught his disciples, “Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:3) His conversion, I believe, refers to the other half of the equation. I’ve noticed that my kids don’t harbor bad feelings for very long. In fact, an ice cream frosty or some other treat can fix most ill feelings. While we may have pouting in common, in whatever form we choose, I have to ask, “How am I doing in the other half of the comparison. Am I quick to turn my heart toward or away? Is the turn of my heart conditional?”
Moments later I said to my wife, “Liz, I’m not sure I like the new me. I tend to get grumpier easier than I used to.” As you can imagine, that led to a discussion on the subject of me for the next little while. I apologized and we moved on. I regret to say, however, that the turn of my heart took about 20 minutes. Can you imagine if you had to make a U-turn in your car on any given street that would take that long? If you saw another driver exerting that much effort, wouldn’t you question whether or not they actually knew how to drive? So when I am driving my own emotions, I wonder why it is so hard to steer. Hmmm. I think it’s time to review my driver’s manual.
It’s not that every circumstance to which I am inclined to be grumpy is that simple. Life is most often complicated. Complications are connected to expectations, exasperations, and other complicated words that end in t-i-o-n. Some of those “tions” are worth shunning. The simplest thing for me to remember is that I am in control, and if I am not in control of my emotions, I am at least responsible. I can choose how I react to any given circumstance.
One thing I remember pondering as I reviewed my personal driver’s manual is how I choose to define my choice. It’s not just what, it’s who. My choice was not just about a fruit smoothie, it was about my wife and how I feel about her. I had to ask myself, “Is the smoothie more important than my wife? Am I really going to place my feelings in front of hers, over a smoothie?” Suddenly I seemed, to myself, very small. My mistake was pretty small, too, but I had to fix it. I felt like I was groping my hands around a steering wheel where the power steering had gone out. It was all manual. I felt like I had to wrestle my feelings to the ground to make my U-turn back to my wife. See. I told you it was nothing to be proud of.
Feeling close to my wife again was a lot more delicious than being grumpy. Once I chose to consider what was really important, my difficult challenge became easier. It added power to my steering. Mind you, a good fruit smoothie has still been on my mind and I’m still thirsty, but it’s not worth being grumpalicious.
What I Believe…
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
My wife and I had just left a particular art gallery on Friday night, when I asked her, “Are you thirsty?” I was thinking large fruit smoothie. I could tell that she, on the other hand, was thinking, “We just spent our month’s date budget on eating out tonight. I’m not sure I want to spend more on a splurge.” She responded that she was thirsty, but water would do. Without verbalizing anything, even to myself, my mood changed. For the moment, being grumpy seemed about as delicious as the smoothie.
Grumpalicious is a term a friend of mine coined years ago as a nick-name for one of her younger brothers. It is a term that seems to describe very well one who is grumpy and is happy being so. On occasion, I have become aware that I have a grownup way of pouting when I don’t get what I want. Am I spoiled? I hope not. But perhaps I have more in common with my young children in that regard. Having said that, I am waiting for the predictable one-liner, “Well, I wonder where they get that from?” followed by a parenthetical wink and text message emoticon.
I don’t think my attitude is what the Savior had in mind when He taught his disciples, “Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:3) His conversion, I believe, refers to the other half of the equation. I’ve noticed that my kids don’t harbor bad feelings for very long. In fact, an ice cream frosty or some other treat can fix most ill feelings. While we may have pouting in common, in whatever form we choose, I have to ask, “How am I doing in the other half of the comparison. Am I quick to turn my heart toward or away? Is the turn of my heart conditional?”
Moments later I said to my wife, “Liz, I’m not sure I like the new me. I tend to get grumpier easier than I used to.” As you can imagine, that led to a discussion on the subject of me for the next little while. I apologized and we moved on. I regret to say, however, that the turn of my heart took about 20 minutes. Can you imagine if you had to make a U-turn in your car on any given street that would take that long? If you saw another driver exerting that much effort, wouldn’t you question whether or not they actually knew how to drive? So when I am driving my own emotions, I wonder why it is so hard to steer. Hmmm. I think it’s time to review my driver’s manual.
It’s not that every circumstance to which I am inclined to be grumpy is that simple. Life is most often complicated. Complications are connected to expectations, exasperations, and other complicated words that end in t-i-o-n. Some of those “tions” are worth shunning. The simplest thing for me to remember is that I am in control, and if I am not in control of my emotions, I am at least responsible. I can choose how I react to any given circumstance.
One thing I remember pondering as I reviewed my personal driver’s manual is how I choose to define my choice. It’s not just what, it’s who. My choice was not just about a fruit smoothie, it was about my wife and how I feel about her. I had to ask myself, “Is the smoothie more important than my wife? Am I really going to place my feelings in front of hers, over a smoothie?” Suddenly I seemed, to myself, very small. My mistake was pretty small, too, but I had to fix it. I felt like I was groping my hands around a steering wheel where the power steering had gone out. It was all manual. I felt like I had to wrestle my feelings to the ground to make my U-turn back to my wife. See. I told you it was nothing to be proud of.
Feeling close to my wife again was a lot more delicious than being grumpy. Once I chose to consider what was really important, my difficult challenge became easier. It added power to my steering. Mind you, a good fruit smoothie has still been on my mind and I’m still thirsty, but it’s not worth being grumpalicious.
What I Believe…
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Remembering Your Gifts
A few years ago, I made a very difficult decision to set aside one of my personal interests. It was a novel I hope to write. For almost a decade I felt compelled to tell a story that was constantly in my head, and I spent much of my spare time developing characters, plot and subplots, and a culture and history to go with it. The story is about a young woman in a city of merchants. In the middle of a successful venture opportunity that is offered her, she finds herself surrounded by intrigue, a national revolution, and secret combinations. I have become very familiar with this character in the past ten years. When I made the decision to put my story aside, my feelings were deep.
At the time, I felt a couple of compelling reasons why I needed to put my own interests on hold. While I had responsibilities with work and also with my church, the biggest reason was my family. I considered the amount of time that I had available to spend with my children, and I figured that most of it would be taken in order to write my story. The two interests were starting to compete. The second reason was that I felt I needed to spend more time with people. I needed to make some visits. When I considered how much happiness I felt when I would visit a friend or an acquaintance I hadn’t seen in a while, and then compared it to the frustration I felt after spending a small amount of time on my story and not get anywhere, I decided it was time.
I remember the day I put my story in boxes. I had sketches and maps that covered the wall of my study, with storylines and resource material that I had researched. At no time did my interest seem wrong. It just seemed that it wasn’t the right time. I had this feeling that was small and quiet. I felt that putting my interests aside for a time was the right thing. It reminded me a lot of when I made the decision to serve a full-time mission and I had to leave family and friends at home, and focus on serving people I had never met before. The two years passed and were incredible. Afterward, I came back and continued the important relationships in my life. They have become much better.
Since that time, my interests haven’t gone away. I find that I still have a strong desire to write, and I take some time to do it. I still love to read, and I look for little places in my schedule that I can carve out for it. I love to paint and draw. I don’t get to as much as I would like, but I still have this strong desire to do so. Each of these is a gift. They are all things that I am interested in and have some ability to do.
As I have focused on my other responsibilities, I think I forgot some of the reasons for putting my interests aside. It wasn’t because I was too busy. My biggest reason was because of my children. Recently I was reminded of my gifts and how I could better use them.
Two weeks ago I had the opportunity to watch Rose Datoc Dall paint at a Deseret Book Lunch and Learn. I have admired her work for a couple of years now, and it was great to see her in person. She is a beautiful artist. As she painted she described some of the challenges and blessings she feels as a mother. Trying to find balance is not always easy. In fact, it often doesn’t exist because our circumstances are always changing. As we shared some examples of using our gifts and talents, I mentioned that I recently hadn’t painted as much due to time constraints. Her comment was, “Why don’t you paint with your kids?” That simple suggestion got me thinking.
Initially, the reason I stopped working on my story was because it was taking time away from my family. As I thought about other interests I have, I wondered why I shouldn’t spend more time sharing those interests with them. It would give us more in common and could help all of us to grow.
This morning I have been pondering a scripture about gifts. While it is specifically about gifts of the spirit, I think it has some relevant application. The Lord, Himself, taught, “seek ye earnestly the best gifts, always remembering for what they are given … they are given for the benefit of those who love me and keep my commandments, and him that seeketh so to do; that all may be benefited that seek or that ask of me….” (Doctrine & Covenants 46:8-9)
I have other friends who have provided constant encouragement and support for my talents. I am grateful for dear friends. They, with the events of the last few weeks, have given me reason to reflect on gifts that we are each given. What a blessing it is when a friend will share their gifts and talents with me. It is a privilege to do the same in return.
Perhaps the real lesson I needed to learn was not to set aside my gifts and interests, but to look for ways that they could bring me closer to those that I care about, remembering why friends and gifts are given.
The Art of Rose Datoc Dall
What I Believe…
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
At the time, I felt a couple of compelling reasons why I needed to put my own interests on hold. While I had responsibilities with work and also with my church, the biggest reason was my family. I considered the amount of time that I had available to spend with my children, and I figured that most of it would be taken in order to write my story. The two interests were starting to compete. The second reason was that I felt I needed to spend more time with people. I needed to make some visits. When I considered how much happiness I felt when I would visit a friend or an acquaintance I hadn’t seen in a while, and then compared it to the frustration I felt after spending a small amount of time on my story and not get anywhere, I decided it was time.
I remember the day I put my story in boxes. I had sketches and maps that covered the wall of my study, with storylines and resource material that I had researched. At no time did my interest seem wrong. It just seemed that it wasn’t the right time. I had this feeling that was small and quiet. I felt that putting my interests aside for a time was the right thing. It reminded me a lot of when I made the decision to serve a full-time mission and I had to leave family and friends at home, and focus on serving people I had never met before. The two years passed and were incredible. Afterward, I came back and continued the important relationships in my life. They have become much better.
Since that time, my interests haven’t gone away. I find that I still have a strong desire to write, and I take some time to do it. I still love to read, and I look for little places in my schedule that I can carve out for it. I love to paint and draw. I don’t get to as much as I would like, but I still have this strong desire to do so. Each of these is a gift. They are all things that I am interested in and have some ability to do.
As I have focused on my other responsibilities, I think I forgot some of the reasons for putting my interests aside. It wasn’t because I was too busy. My biggest reason was because of my children. Recently I was reminded of my gifts and how I could better use them.
Two weeks ago I had the opportunity to watch Rose Datoc Dall paint at a Deseret Book Lunch and Learn. I have admired her work for a couple of years now, and it was great to see her in person. She is a beautiful artist. As she painted she described some of the challenges and blessings she feels as a mother. Trying to find balance is not always easy. In fact, it often doesn’t exist because our circumstances are always changing. As we shared some examples of using our gifts and talents, I mentioned that I recently hadn’t painted as much due to time constraints. Her comment was, “Why don’t you paint with your kids?” That simple suggestion got me thinking.
Initially, the reason I stopped working on my story was because it was taking time away from my family. As I thought about other interests I have, I wondered why I shouldn’t spend more time sharing those interests with them. It would give us more in common and could help all of us to grow.
This morning I have been pondering a scripture about gifts. While it is specifically about gifts of the spirit, I think it has some relevant application. The Lord, Himself, taught, “seek ye earnestly the best gifts, always remembering for what they are given … they are given for the benefit of those who love me and keep my commandments, and him that seeketh so to do; that all may be benefited that seek or that ask of me….” (Doctrine & Covenants 46:8-9)
I have other friends who have provided constant encouragement and support for my talents. I am grateful for dear friends. They, with the events of the last few weeks, have given me reason to reflect on gifts that we are each given. What a blessing it is when a friend will share their gifts and talents with me. It is a privilege to do the same in return.
Perhaps the real lesson I needed to learn was not to set aside my gifts and interests, but to look for ways that they could bring me closer to those that I care about, remembering why friends and gifts are given.
The Art of Rose Datoc Dall
What I Believe…
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Forgrudgeness
I'm not much of a grduge holder, but last night I was intrigued by a story that President Thomas S. Monson told in the priesthood session of General Conference about a couple who had some serious grudges. Ouch. Whether or not that sounds like you, there are times where a grudge can seem like a really good idea. I think it is worth thinking twice.
I’m angry still!
I feel so good when I hold out.
Of all the friends that could have stung,
It’s you this had to be about.
It wasn’t much, but just enough
To make my patience crawl.
Can I pretend that things are good?
Instead I’ll nail it to the wall.
I’ll build more walls with thorny looks
And silent words that stay unthought.
“So there!” Oh, oops. Two words slipped through
To help connect the dot-to-dot.
And then I wake to see my room
With thorns and scrawls, and me alone.
Does anger really feel so good,
When peace is knocked down from its throne?
I wipe the scrawls between the dots,
And pull the thorn on which I stepped.
I see the clock and wonder at
How many hours of sting it’s kept.
It’s been too long since I have thought
About my friend and what we share.
If truth be told, I’d rather have
More friends than walls forever there.
What I Believe…
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
I’m angry still!
I feel so good when I hold out.
Of all the friends that could have stung,
It’s you this had to be about.
It wasn’t much, but just enough
To make my patience crawl.
Can I pretend that things are good?
Instead I’ll nail it to the wall.
I’ll build more walls with thorny looks
And silent words that stay unthought.
“So there!” Oh, oops. Two words slipped through
To help connect the dot-to-dot.
And then I wake to see my room
With thorns and scrawls, and me alone.
Does anger really feel so good,
When peace is knocked down from its throne?
I wipe the scrawls between the dots,
And pull the thorn on which I stepped.
I see the clock and wonder at
How many hours of sting it’s kept.
It’s been too long since I have thought
About my friend and what we share.
If truth be told, I’d rather have
More friends than walls forever there.
What I Believe…
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
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