A few years ago, I made a very difficult decision to set aside one of my personal interests. It was a novel I hope to write. For almost a decade I felt compelled to tell a story that was constantly in my head, and I spent much of my spare time developing characters, plot and subplots, and a culture and history to go with it. The story is about a young woman in a city of merchants. In the middle of a successful venture opportunity that is offered her, she finds herself surrounded by intrigue, a national revolution, and secret combinations. I have become very familiar with this character in the past ten years. When I made the decision to put my story aside, my feelings were deep.
At the time, I felt a couple of compelling reasons why I needed to put my own interests on hold. While I had responsibilities with work and also with my church, the biggest reason was my family. I considered the amount of time that I had available to spend with my children, and I figured that most of it would be taken in order to write my story. The two interests were starting to compete. The second reason was that I felt I needed to spend more time with people. I needed to make some visits. When I considered how much happiness I felt when I would visit a friend or an acquaintance I hadn’t seen in a while, and then compared it to the frustration I felt after spending a small amount of time on my story and not get anywhere, I decided it was time.
I remember the day I put my story in boxes. I had sketches and maps that covered the wall of my study, with storylines and resource material that I had researched. At no time did my interest seem wrong. It just seemed that it wasn’t the right time. I had this feeling that was small and quiet. I felt that putting my interests aside for a time was the right thing. It reminded me a lot of when I made the decision to serve a full-time mission and I had to leave family and friends at home, and focus on serving people I had never met before. The two years passed and were incredible. Afterward, I came back and continued the important relationships in my life. They have become much better.
Since that time, my interests haven’t gone away. I find that I still have a strong desire to write, and I take some time to do it. I still love to read, and I look for little places in my schedule that I can carve out for it. I love to paint and draw. I don’t get to as much as I would like, but I still have this strong desire to do so. Each of these is a gift. They are all things that I am interested in and have some ability to do.
As I have focused on my other responsibilities, I think I forgot some of the reasons for putting my interests aside. It wasn’t because I was too busy. My biggest reason was because of my children. Recently I was reminded of my gifts and how I could better use them.
Two weeks ago I had the opportunity to watch Rose Datoc Dall paint at a Deseret Book Lunch and Learn. I have admired her work for a couple of years now, and it was great to see her in person. She is a beautiful artist. As she painted she described some of the challenges and blessings she feels as a mother. Trying to find balance is not always easy. In fact, it often doesn’t exist because our circumstances are always changing. As we shared some examples of using our gifts and talents, I mentioned that I recently hadn’t painted as much due to time constraints. Her comment was, “Why don’t you paint with your kids?” That simple suggestion got me thinking.
Initially, the reason I stopped working on my story was because it was taking time away from my family. As I thought about other interests I have, I wondered why I shouldn’t spend more time sharing those interests with them. It would give us more in common and could help all of us to grow.
This morning I have been pondering a scripture about gifts. While it is specifically about gifts of the spirit, I think it has some relevant application. The Lord, Himself, taught, “seek ye earnestly the best gifts, always remembering for what they are given … they are given for the benefit of those who love me and keep my commandments, and him that seeketh so to do; that all may be benefited that seek or that ask of me….” (Doctrine & Covenants 46:8-9)
I have other friends who have provided constant encouragement and support for my talents. I am grateful for dear friends. They, with the events of the last few weeks, have given me reason to reflect on gifts that we are each given. What a blessing it is when a friend will share their gifts and talents with me. It is a privilege to do the same in return.
Perhaps the real lesson I needed to learn was not to set aside my gifts and interests, but to look for ways that they could bring me closer to those that I care about, remembering why friends and gifts are given.
The Art of Rose Datoc Dall
What I Believe…
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Showing posts with label Balance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Balance. Show all posts
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Sunday, January 24, 2010
What a Mess!
My wife often jokes about the physical state of her work room. Like me, she is very project oriented. We are never bored because as soon as we finish one creative project, there are a dozen other things we want to do that are jockeying in the queue. Liz’s room is filled with tangible evidence of her process. You might say that everything there is “in process.” But that’s okay. Whether it is card making, scrapbooking, stamping, sewing, or cross-stitching, she does beautiful work, and she is not afraid to make a mess.
We used to share the workroom together. Her half of the room had files and boxes of photos, paper, scissors, pens, and important pieces of history that were waiting to be absorbed into a well crafted scrapbook. Liz also had drawers and bins of fabric, patterns, and notions such as zippers, ribbon, and buttons. My half had a different mess.
For about ten years I spent a great deal of my spare time working on a supposed epic novel with a beautiful heroine as the main character. My half of the room was filled with stacks of notes, folders of pictures, reference books, and sculptures. The walls were covered with sketches, story boards, illustrations, maps, and ideas. I had developed histories, family lines, and cultural definitions. I was completely immersed in plot and character development. Well… I was immersed whenever I entered the room. It was perfect for that purpose. I was surrounded by mess and process. The two went hand in hand and allowed me to learn faster than any other place. Now, however, the room is only used by my wife, and my process has been cleaned up.
The story is something that I am very passionate about. Someday I hope to get back to it. But, if I don’t, I will still be grateful for the work that I did there because the process was so valuable to me. It was a laboratory for thought that afforded me the opportunity to test out lots of ideas, both fictitious and real.
At a point in my life where circumstances changed for me, I found that I needed to put my interests on hold and I cleaned up my mess. While my hobby held my attention, my family and other obligations needed my time. So I carefully took my work down and shelved it in boxes. Certainly, it was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I do not regret it a bit. I would make the same decision if presented to me again and again. I realized then that there is an appropriate time for messes especially when they afford a process.
In contrast to the work room, our living room is much different in character. I read there, I pray there, and it affords me a different opportunity to focus without clutter. It contains possessions that define our family. In addition to comfortable seating, there are books, paintings, photographs, and musical instruments. This room has stricter rules of what is acceptable. Yes, from time to time this room may get messy, but I do not allow it to be so for very long because it is my sanctuary. When it gets messy, it no longer seems like mine and I feel like an outsider. It is not a museum or showcase, but the living room is a place to live in. I have found that to be more easily done when there is no mess there.
It is worth considering, and recognizing, that not all messes are bad. Some messes can be helpful, and some may be a detriment. Some we can control, and others control us. I believe that when we are able to act and define our messes, we are much better off than if we are acted upon by our messes because they limit our decisions. This is another example of how the evidence at hand comes back to intent. Similarly, while a process may be messy, there is a difference between clean messy and dirty messy. Consider the following.
In Mark chapter 7, a group of Pharisees and scribes found fault and criticized Jesus because his disciples ate bread without washing their hands. They stated that it was the tradition of the elders to wash, not only their hands, but also their cups, pots, brazen vessels, and tables, or they would not eat. Jesus’ response was quite poignant as he quoted Isaiah the prophet.
“He answered and said unto them, Well hath Esaias prophesied of you hypocrites, as it is written, This people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me. Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men. … Full well ye reject the commandment of God, that ye may keep your own tradition.” (Mark 7:6-7,9) Jesus spoke not only of hands and dishes, but of commandments that the Pharisees professed to uphold and yet broke them. He returned criticism because they were focused on lesser things instead of the things of God.
Jesus continues, “There is nothing from without a man, that entering into him can defile him, which is food; but the things which come out of him; those are they that defile the man, that proceedeth forth out of the heart. If any man have ears to hear, let him hear.” (Mark 7:15-16, JST Mark 7:15)
When His disciples could not understand Jesus’ teachings, he explained, “whatsoever thing from without entereth into the man, it cannot defile him; Because it entereth not into his heart, but into the belly….” He then lists a number of sins that proceed from the heart as evil thoughts and actions and states, “All these evil things come from within, and defile the man.” (Mark 7:18-19, 23)
Perhaps it is a stretch to talk of the messes that occur in work rooms and living rooms, and then talk of the heart. Yet the heart also has rooms in which we store and keep things. Some things we lock up, and some things we share openly. I believe the heart to be more sacred, thus making an examination of the heart more important as to which messes are process and which may be detriments.
There may be times when our hearts and minds, both, are confused. They seem to be cluttered with information, circumstances, and the cry for decisions. A true disciple of Christ will not take such decisions lightly, or dismiss them too quickly. It is important for us to study them out carefully in the light of Christ so that we can make an appropriate decision.
Mormon taught us how to examine the clutter of confusion that can exist internally. “For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God. ... And now, my brethren, seeing that ye know the light by which ye may judge, which light is the light of Christ, see that ye do not judge wrongfully; for with that same judgment which ye judge ye shall also be judged.” (Moroni 7:16-18)
The key to whether the clutter in our hearts is just mess or process depends how the clutter got there. If I am confused solely because I lack wisdom and am unsure of my course, the clutter would suggest that I am on the cusp of taking a leap forward in my process – the process of becoming like Father. I may have an opportunity to grow if I am prepared to deal with the situation. On the other hand, if my heart is cluttered because I have judged incorrectly in the light of Christ, and have chosen that which is wrong, then my actions will testify against me. This would suggest that I welcomed clutter into my heart and chose mess for mess’s sake. This is the largest difference between sin and mistakes. One is deliberate, the other inadvertent.
Dallin H. Oaks of the Twelve Apostles taught that while both sins and mistakes can harm us, mistakes need correction but sins require repentance. They are not the same and do not require the same process to fix. Many of our decisions can be carefully weighed against the measure of bad, good, better, and best. Elder Oaks said, “For most of us, most of the time, the choice between good and bad is easy. What usually causes us difficulty is determining which uses of our time and influence are merely good, or better, or best. Applying that fact to the question of sins and mistakes, I would say that a deliberately wrong choice in the contest between what is clearly good and what is clearly bad is a sin, but a poor choice among things that are good, better, and best is merely a mistake.” (“Sins and Mistakes,” Ensign, Oct 1996, 62) Some of the clutter in our hearts is there deliberately, but has been invited by mistake.
Usually walking into a messy room is a choice; we see what the room is like before we enter. There are times in life, however, where we find ourselves in a confusing situation and we are left to wonder, “How did I get in such a mess?” The arrival at comprehension is an odd experience, as if we have just awoken from sleep walking.
If not all messes are bad, then understanding what kind of mess we are in can be very helpful. Whether it is by choice, by mistake, or due to conditions beyond our control, it is important for us to assess so that we can determine the best course for action. Consider these questions. How do I feel about the mess? Does it feel out of control or is the mess manageable? What do I plan to do with the mess? Does it bother me? Why? Am I apathetic towards the mess, and is it easier to pretend that it’s not there than to deal with it? Do I ever think, “I should clean this up,” without the intent of actually changing or doing anything about it? Would it make any difference if someone could help me through it, or help me clean it up?
If we feel in control, we will likely have a more positive attitude towards the situation. If we can get someone to help or encourage, it may be enough to change our attitude. If we recognize what we are up against, and have a plan of action, we can better deal with the messes life delivers at our feet.
When I watch Liz make dough to bake some bread, I observe that her process is very, very messy. She spreads oil over the counter to keep the dough from sticking. She grinds wheat to make flour which causes fine dust to spread. She prepares the dough with a mixer and then kneads it with her hands. Every time, however, the counter resumes to a smooth as glass condition without a trace of the mess. Liz is in control of the process and she has gotten very fast. You can’t make bread without making a mess. At the same time, it is hard to enjoy the bread unless you have a clean place to eat it. There is a place for both.
In my line of work as an architect, I spend a lot of time on construction sites to review progress. As I observe work that is being done, I see a lot of mess, and yet it isn’t. To the inexperienced it may look like chaos. To the general contractor who is responsible for the work, there is a process by which separate materials are put together to create a refined product. Watching a design take shape from seemingly nothing is always amazing. It is very rewarding. Sometimes we have to trust that Father is both the architect who has a master design for our lives, and He is the general contractor that is directing the work, making something refined and beautiful out of seemingly nothing. Life may get dusty, but if we put our faith in His plan, things will turn out better than we can possibly imagine.
I have found that it is often when I am immersed in a messy situation that I am capable of doing the most work. If I am surrounded by mess and chaos, I begin to despair. But, if my mess is full of process and I feel in control, then I can often learn faster than I will in any other place.
I’m glad that most often my work period includes a time to clean up. Much can be learned and understood when we clean up the rooms in our homes and the rooms in our hearts. Even in circumstances when, like my interest in writing a novel, I find that it is time to put something good aside for something better or best, I have a greater appreciation of the process, and I can enjoy a place that is swept clean of distraction. Many truths are formulated during the process. Then those same truths distill and refine when the mess is gone.
Referring back to the example of the Savior with the Pharisees, and the measurement of value described by Elder Oaks, we need to be very careful that we give our best attention to the appropriate messes. If we focus on less important distractions when there are more important issues at hand, we may be guilty of having an incorrect focus. When we decide it is time to clean up our messes, it can be possible to have a clean house and yet have cluttered relationships. We may find that we are perfectionists at cleaning messes in our homes, but not our hearts. Certainly I am not advocating that we have messy homes. I do believe we need to keep our priorities clear and our focus correct.
Both our hearts and our homes have appropriate work rooms and living rooms. We have places for messes and places for serenity. When some of those messes spread and start to consume our peace, we should remember that we are the offspring of God. Father has created us in His image. He has given us the potential and the power to become like Him. We do so when we begin to see the messes for what they are and we act upon them rather than letting them act upon us. Fortunately, when we are in over our heads in mess, Father can help. We can ask Him humbly in prayer and He will respond. Much like my own children who often make mistakes and messes, both, that are larger than they can manage, a simple “please” is usually enough to get my help. Father loves us much, much more than we are capable of loving our own children. He will help take care of our messes.
Because our lives are often messy and a work in progress, it helps to have a reminder that this is by design and we have no need to fear. The exception is when we choose to make messes for mess’s sake. Keeping work in the work room, and living in the living room has worked well for me. Note that I didn’t mention my garage. There is another work in progress, but I’ll leave that for another day.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
We used to share the workroom together. Her half of the room had files and boxes of photos, paper, scissors, pens, and important pieces of history that were waiting to be absorbed into a well crafted scrapbook. Liz also had drawers and bins of fabric, patterns, and notions such as zippers, ribbon, and buttons. My half had a different mess.
For about ten years I spent a great deal of my spare time working on a supposed epic novel with a beautiful heroine as the main character. My half of the room was filled with stacks of notes, folders of pictures, reference books, and sculptures. The walls were covered with sketches, story boards, illustrations, maps, and ideas. I had developed histories, family lines, and cultural definitions. I was completely immersed in plot and character development. Well… I was immersed whenever I entered the room. It was perfect for that purpose. I was surrounded by mess and process. The two went hand in hand and allowed me to learn faster than any other place. Now, however, the room is only used by my wife, and my process has been cleaned up.
The story is something that I am very passionate about. Someday I hope to get back to it. But, if I don’t, I will still be grateful for the work that I did there because the process was so valuable to me. It was a laboratory for thought that afforded me the opportunity to test out lots of ideas, both fictitious and real.
At a point in my life where circumstances changed for me, I found that I needed to put my interests on hold and I cleaned up my mess. While my hobby held my attention, my family and other obligations needed my time. So I carefully took my work down and shelved it in boxes. Certainly, it was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I do not regret it a bit. I would make the same decision if presented to me again and again. I realized then that there is an appropriate time for messes especially when they afford a process.
In contrast to the work room, our living room is much different in character. I read there, I pray there, and it affords me a different opportunity to focus without clutter. It contains possessions that define our family. In addition to comfortable seating, there are books, paintings, photographs, and musical instruments. This room has stricter rules of what is acceptable. Yes, from time to time this room may get messy, but I do not allow it to be so for very long because it is my sanctuary. When it gets messy, it no longer seems like mine and I feel like an outsider. It is not a museum or showcase, but the living room is a place to live in. I have found that to be more easily done when there is no mess there.
It is worth considering, and recognizing, that not all messes are bad. Some messes can be helpful, and some may be a detriment. Some we can control, and others control us. I believe that when we are able to act and define our messes, we are much better off than if we are acted upon by our messes because they limit our decisions. This is another example of how the evidence at hand comes back to intent. Similarly, while a process may be messy, there is a difference between clean messy and dirty messy. Consider the following.
In Mark chapter 7, a group of Pharisees and scribes found fault and criticized Jesus because his disciples ate bread without washing their hands. They stated that it was the tradition of the elders to wash, not only their hands, but also their cups, pots, brazen vessels, and tables, or they would not eat. Jesus’ response was quite poignant as he quoted Isaiah the prophet.
“He answered and said unto them, Well hath Esaias prophesied of you hypocrites, as it is written, This people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me. Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men. … Full well ye reject the commandment of God, that ye may keep your own tradition.” (Mark 7:6-7,9) Jesus spoke not only of hands and dishes, but of commandments that the Pharisees professed to uphold and yet broke them. He returned criticism because they were focused on lesser things instead of the things of God.
Jesus continues, “There is nothing from without a man, that entering into him can defile him, which is food; but the things which come out of him; those are they that defile the man, that proceedeth forth out of the heart. If any man have ears to hear, let him hear.” (Mark 7:15-16, JST Mark 7:15)
When His disciples could not understand Jesus’ teachings, he explained, “whatsoever thing from without entereth into the man, it cannot defile him; Because it entereth not into his heart, but into the belly….” He then lists a number of sins that proceed from the heart as evil thoughts and actions and states, “All these evil things come from within, and defile the man.” (Mark 7:18-19, 23)
Perhaps it is a stretch to talk of the messes that occur in work rooms and living rooms, and then talk of the heart. Yet the heart also has rooms in which we store and keep things. Some things we lock up, and some things we share openly. I believe the heart to be more sacred, thus making an examination of the heart more important as to which messes are process and which may be detriments.
There may be times when our hearts and minds, both, are confused. They seem to be cluttered with information, circumstances, and the cry for decisions. A true disciple of Christ will not take such decisions lightly, or dismiss them too quickly. It is important for us to study them out carefully in the light of Christ so that we can make an appropriate decision.
Mormon taught us how to examine the clutter of confusion that can exist internally. “For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God. ... And now, my brethren, seeing that ye know the light by which ye may judge, which light is the light of Christ, see that ye do not judge wrongfully; for with that same judgment which ye judge ye shall also be judged.” (Moroni 7:16-18)
The key to whether the clutter in our hearts is just mess or process depends how the clutter got there. If I am confused solely because I lack wisdom and am unsure of my course, the clutter would suggest that I am on the cusp of taking a leap forward in my process – the process of becoming like Father. I may have an opportunity to grow if I am prepared to deal with the situation. On the other hand, if my heart is cluttered because I have judged incorrectly in the light of Christ, and have chosen that which is wrong, then my actions will testify against me. This would suggest that I welcomed clutter into my heart and chose mess for mess’s sake. This is the largest difference between sin and mistakes. One is deliberate, the other inadvertent.
Dallin H. Oaks of the Twelve Apostles taught that while both sins and mistakes can harm us, mistakes need correction but sins require repentance. They are not the same and do not require the same process to fix. Many of our decisions can be carefully weighed against the measure of bad, good, better, and best. Elder Oaks said, “For most of us, most of the time, the choice between good and bad is easy. What usually causes us difficulty is determining which uses of our time and influence are merely good, or better, or best. Applying that fact to the question of sins and mistakes, I would say that a deliberately wrong choice in the contest between what is clearly good and what is clearly bad is a sin, but a poor choice among things that are good, better, and best is merely a mistake.” (“Sins and Mistakes,” Ensign, Oct 1996, 62) Some of the clutter in our hearts is there deliberately, but has been invited by mistake.
Usually walking into a messy room is a choice; we see what the room is like before we enter. There are times in life, however, where we find ourselves in a confusing situation and we are left to wonder, “How did I get in such a mess?” The arrival at comprehension is an odd experience, as if we have just awoken from sleep walking.
If not all messes are bad, then understanding what kind of mess we are in can be very helpful. Whether it is by choice, by mistake, or due to conditions beyond our control, it is important for us to assess so that we can determine the best course for action. Consider these questions. How do I feel about the mess? Does it feel out of control or is the mess manageable? What do I plan to do with the mess? Does it bother me? Why? Am I apathetic towards the mess, and is it easier to pretend that it’s not there than to deal with it? Do I ever think, “I should clean this up,” without the intent of actually changing or doing anything about it? Would it make any difference if someone could help me through it, or help me clean it up?
If we feel in control, we will likely have a more positive attitude towards the situation. If we can get someone to help or encourage, it may be enough to change our attitude. If we recognize what we are up against, and have a plan of action, we can better deal with the messes life delivers at our feet.
When I watch Liz make dough to bake some bread, I observe that her process is very, very messy. She spreads oil over the counter to keep the dough from sticking. She grinds wheat to make flour which causes fine dust to spread. She prepares the dough with a mixer and then kneads it with her hands. Every time, however, the counter resumes to a smooth as glass condition without a trace of the mess. Liz is in control of the process and she has gotten very fast. You can’t make bread without making a mess. At the same time, it is hard to enjoy the bread unless you have a clean place to eat it. There is a place for both.
In my line of work as an architect, I spend a lot of time on construction sites to review progress. As I observe work that is being done, I see a lot of mess, and yet it isn’t. To the inexperienced it may look like chaos. To the general contractor who is responsible for the work, there is a process by which separate materials are put together to create a refined product. Watching a design take shape from seemingly nothing is always amazing. It is very rewarding. Sometimes we have to trust that Father is both the architect who has a master design for our lives, and He is the general contractor that is directing the work, making something refined and beautiful out of seemingly nothing. Life may get dusty, but if we put our faith in His plan, things will turn out better than we can possibly imagine.
I have found that it is often when I am immersed in a messy situation that I am capable of doing the most work. If I am surrounded by mess and chaos, I begin to despair. But, if my mess is full of process and I feel in control, then I can often learn faster than I will in any other place.
I’m glad that most often my work period includes a time to clean up. Much can be learned and understood when we clean up the rooms in our homes and the rooms in our hearts. Even in circumstances when, like my interest in writing a novel, I find that it is time to put something good aside for something better or best, I have a greater appreciation of the process, and I can enjoy a place that is swept clean of distraction. Many truths are formulated during the process. Then those same truths distill and refine when the mess is gone.
Referring back to the example of the Savior with the Pharisees, and the measurement of value described by Elder Oaks, we need to be very careful that we give our best attention to the appropriate messes. If we focus on less important distractions when there are more important issues at hand, we may be guilty of having an incorrect focus. When we decide it is time to clean up our messes, it can be possible to have a clean house and yet have cluttered relationships. We may find that we are perfectionists at cleaning messes in our homes, but not our hearts. Certainly I am not advocating that we have messy homes. I do believe we need to keep our priorities clear and our focus correct.
Both our hearts and our homes have appropriate work rooms and living rooms. We have places for messes and places for serenity. When some of those messes spread and start to consume our peace, we should remember that we are the offspring of God. Father has created us in His image. He has given us the potential and the power to become like Him. We do so when we begin to see the messes for what they are and we act upon them rather than letting them act upon us. Fortunately, when we are in over our heads in mess, Father can help. We can ask Him humbly in prayer and He will respond. Much like my own children who often make mistakes and messes, both, that are larger than they can manage, a simple “please” is usually enough to get my help. Father loves us much, much more than we are capable of loving our own children. He will help take care of our messes.
Because our lives are often messy and a work in progress, it helps to have a reminder that this is by design and we have no need to fear. The exception is when we choose to make messes for mess’s sake. Keeping work in the work room, and living in the living room has worked well for me. Note that I didn’t mention my garage. There is another work in progress, but I’ll leave that for another day.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Slow Down, You’re Going Too Fast
I would much rather listen to “The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin’ Groovy),” by Simon and Garfunkel, than get pulled over by a highway patrol trooper in the state of Nevada… like I did on our last family trip to California. The message from both is about the same, but the song is much more pleasant to listen to. Since we are getting ready to make the trip again, I thought the memory worth a little reflection. There is no need for history to repeat itself.
You can probably guess some of the details of the incident, and the conversation that transpired between me and the trooper. What I will tell you is that we were in-between two construction zones when I got the ticket, but apparently the double-fine clause for construction zones was still in effect. I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.
Thinking of this speeding memory brought another story to mind. I was serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Fresno, California. I remember riding my bicycle on one occasion when the assistants to the mission president passed me in their vehicle. We waved to each other and then they shouted, “Elder, where is your companion?” I turned around to look but couldn’t see him anywhere. “Great,” I thought. I turned around to retrace my path and found him about half a mile behind me. He was coming along at his own pace and didn’t feel a need to catch up very quickly. Later, we became good friends, but I’m not sure he felt that way at that moment.
Finding a good pace in life isn’t easy. Sometimes we choose a speed for ourselves that is too fast for our good. At other times we may set a pace that is too fast for family, friends, or those we associate with. This can happen with expectations, goals, relationships, or personal efforts to do good things. A few years ago Elder L. Tom Perry taught that we should, “move at a pace slow enough that [others] will not be left behind and fast enough to keep the journey interesting.” This certainly requires a great deal of balance.
I have recently taken up bike riding again with the same bicycle I had on my mission. It has been a good bike for me, but the rear tire is a little quirky after getting hit by a car. Though I didn’t sustain any personal damage in the accident, the impact of the car bent the rear fork of the bike enough that the rear tire rubs slightly against the frame. This gives the rider a strange resistance feeling that is similar to using the gas pedal and the brake pedal simultaneously while driving a car. Occasionally I consider replacing the bike, but I am still on the “use it up, wear it out” part of the old pioneer adage.
The condition with my bike has provided me with some unique analogies. The “lesson of the tires” really has more to do with desire. Because the front tire typically doesn’t have any resistance, it allows me to go as fast as I am willing to pedal. The rear tire, however, places added constraints which force me to go slower. Each of us has desires that need to be controlled or tempered. Restraint is not always fun, but it is healthy.
As my wife and I discussed this post together, she suggested that I try a different approach to accelerating my personal goals. “Rather than using your gas pedal and brake pedal so much, why not just set your cruise control?” Once again, I had to admit that the wife is always right. Pace is more important than speed in long-distance matters of life.
The lesson of the tires also has application in our individual pursuits for perfection. The charge from the Savior in Matthew 5:48, “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect,” is not easily obtained. We may be full of desire to achieve perfection, but we will only do so as we meet and overcome resistance. Sometimes the resistance comes from unseen sources. Sometimes it comes as we self apply the brakes to our progression through decisions that are really not good for us. There are yet other times in which our expectations exceed our abilities. The front tire may represent our desire to do good, while the rear tire may represent what we are capable of in our mortal condition.
While I do believe we should do everything within our power to stretch and challenge ourselves, I do not believe we should feel guilty for the things we are not yet capable of. This is a common danger of going too fast. I think there is a significant difference between Godly sorrow and the guilt we inflict upon ourselves because we are not doing everything we think we should. Disappointment has a lot to do with our expectations. Father’s expectations are often much different from our own. Recognizing the source of the guilt will greatly affect the amount of peace we allow ourselves to feel. King Benjamin taught in Mosiah 4:27, “see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength.”
In Doctrine & Covenants 93:12-14, Joseph Smith recorded how the Savior came to the earth and set a pattern for us to follow. The revelation says, “he received not of the fulness at the first, but received grace for grace;” As Jesus made correct choices, He received the promised blessings for His obedience. “And he received not of the fulness at first, but continued from grace to grace, until he received a fulness; And thus he was called the Son of God, because he received not of the fulness at the first.” Jesus followed this pattern of progression one step at a time, or grace to grace, until He received a fullness from the Father.
What a blessing it is to know that the Savior, Jesus Christ, came here to set an example for us. Though we are not perfect as he is, we can worship the Father by following the Son, until we receive grace for grace.
Progression follows a continuous steady path. It may not always seem linear to us, but there are natural steps we must take before we can move forward. The prophet Nephi recorded the Lord’s teachings on this subject in 2 Nephi 28:30, saying, “I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept... for unto him that receiveth I will give more...”
Father wants us to learn, and He is ready to teach us, step by step. How often, then, do we place unrealistic expectations on others or ourselves? It is not necessary for us to skip a line or two to progress faster. It is also not very helpful when we expect others to skip a few paragraphs to meet our expectations, if they are not yet capable.
We will have more peace in our hearts if we are willing to accept ourselves and others for what we are. We will also have more happiness if we then try to inspire others to be better, starting where they are. I always appreciate inspiration over unnecessary guilt. Remember, there is no need to run faster than you have strength. Why expect any more of others than we would ask for ourselves?
It is tempting to compare yourself with others. When you are in a race, you can’t help notice when you are passing someone, or they are passing you. What matters most, though, is not how fast we are going, but whether or not we are progressing. Our progress is not dependent upon anyone else but us and the Lord. It is not necessary to compare ourselves with others.
I believe that Father is more concerned about direction than perfection. In addition to our actions, we will be judged by the thoughts and intents of our hearts. If my heart is like a compass, pointing the direction my actions will take me, then I need to watch my heart very closely. Once my course is chosen, then I can set a pace for myself – hopefully one where I won’t get another ticket.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
You can probably guess some of the details of the incident, and the conversation that transpired between me and the trooper. What I will tell you is that we were in-between two construction zones when I got the ticket, but apparently the double-fine clause for construction zones was still in effect. I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.
Thinking of this speeding memory brought another story to mind. I was serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Fresno, California. I remember riding my bicycle on one occasion when the assistants to the mission president passed me in their vehicle. We waved to each other and then they shouted, “Elder, where is your companion?” I turned around to look but couldn’t see him anywhere. “Great,” I thought. I turned around to retrace my path and found him about half a mile behind me. He was coming along at his own pace and didn’t feel a need to catch up very quickly. Later, we became good friends, but I’m not sure he felt that way at that moment.
Finding a good pace in life isn’t easy. Sometimes we choose a speed for ourselves that is too fast for our good. At other times we may set a pace that is too fast for family, friends, or those we associate with. This can happen with expectations, goals, relationships, or personal efforts to do good things. A few years ago Elder L. Tom Perry taught that we should, “move at a pace slow enough that [others] will not be left behind and fast enough to keep the journey interesting.” This certainly requires a great deal of balance.
I have recently taken up bike riding again with the same bicycle I had on my mission. It has been a good bike for me, but the rear tire is a little quirky after getting hit by a car. Though I didn’t sustain any personal damage in the accident, the impact of the car bent the rear fork of the bike enough that the rear tire rubs slightly against the frame. This gives the rider a strange resistance feeling that is similar to using the gas pedal and the brake pedal simultaneously while driving a car. Occasionally I consider replacing the bike, but I am still on the “use it up, wear it out” part of the old pioneer adage.
The condition with my bike has provided me with some unique analogies. The “lesson of the tires” really has more to do with desire. Because the front tire typically doesn’t have any resistance, it allows me to go as fast as I am willing to pedal. The rear tire, however, places added constraints which force me to go slower. Each of us has desires that need to be controlled or tempered. Restraint is not always fun, but it is healthy.
As my wife and I discussed this post together, she suggested that I try a different approach to accelerating my personal goals. “Rather than using your gas pedal and brake pedal so much, why not just set your cruise control?” Once again, I had to admit that the wife is always right. Pace is more important than speed in long-distance matters of life.
The lesson of the tires also has application in our individual pursuits for perfection. The charge from the Savior in Matthew 5:48, “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect,” is not easily obtained. We may be full of desire to achieve perfection, but we will only do so as we meet and overcome resistance. Sometimes the resistance comes from unseen sources. Sometimes it comes as we self apply the brakes to our progression through decisions that are really not good for us. There are yet other times in which our expectations exceed our abilities. The front tire may represent our desire to do good, while the rear tire may represent what we are capable of in our mortal condition.
While I do believe we should do everything within our power to stretch and challenge ourselves, I do not believe we should feel guilty for the things we are not yet capable of. This is a common danger of going too fast. I think there is a significant difference between Godly sorrow and the guilt we inflict upon ourselves because we are not doing everything we think we should. Disappointment has a lot to do with our expectations. Father’s expectations are often much different from our own. Recognizing the source of the guilt will greatly affect the amount of peace we allow ourselves to feel. King Benjamin taught in Mosiah 4:27, “see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength.”
In Doctrine & Covenants 93:12-14, Joseph Smith recorded how the Savior came to the earth and set a pattern for us to follow. The revelation says, “he received not of the fulness at the first, but received grace for grace;” As Jesus made correct choices, He received the promised blessings for His obedience. “And he received not of the fulness at first, but continued from grace to grace, until he received a fulness; And thus he was called the Son of God, because he received not of the fulness at the first.” Jesus followed this pattern of progression one step at a time, or grace to grace, until He received a fullness from the Father.
What a blessing it is to know that the Savior, Jesus Christ, came here to set an example for us. Though we are not perfect as he is, we can worship the Father by following the Son, until we receive grace for grace.
Progression follows a continuous steady path. It may not always seem linear to us, but there are natural steps we must take before we can move forward. The prophet Nephi recorded the Lord’s teachings on this subject in 2 Nephi 28:30, saying, “I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept... for unto him that receiveth I will give more...”
Father wants us to learn, and He is ready to teach us, step by step. How often, then, do we place unrealistic expectations on others or ourselves? It is not necessary for us to skip a line or two to progress faster. It is also not very helpful when we expect others to skip a few paragraphs to meet our expectations, if they are not yet capable.
We will have more peace in our hearts if we are willing to accept ourselves and others for what we are. We will also have more happiness if we then try to inspire others to be better, starting where they are. I always appreciate inspiration over unnecessary guilt. Remember, there is no need to run faster than you have strength. Why expect any more of others than we would ask for ourselves?
It is tempting to compare yourself with others. When you are in a race, you can’t help notice when you are passing someone, or they are passing you. What matters most, though, is not how fast we are going, but whether or not we are progressing. Our progress is not dependent upon anyone else but us and the Lord. It is not necessary to compare ourselves with others.
I believe that Father is more concerned about direction than perfection. In addition to our actions, we will be judged by the thoughts and intents of our hearts. If my heart is like a compass, pointing the direction my actions will take me, then I need to watch my heart very closely. Once my course is chosen, then I can set a pace for myself – hopefully one where I won’t get another ticket.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
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