This morning I am replaying a particular memory that took place in my backyard when I was about five. It was a sunny afternoon and I was standing next to my Mom for a picture. I remember very little except for the fact that the sun was in my eyes. We stood next to our painted redwood fence where there was a rose bush with little yellow flowers. With my arm around her, I asked her if she would marry me when she was finished being married to Dad. I don’t think I really understood the concept of marriage at that age, but I knew she loved me and I loved her back. My Mom was the first person to teach me about love. She has never stopped teaching, and I’ve never stopped loving her.
Jo Ann Jaurigue is another woman who has shown me a lot of love. I was a missionary in Fresno, California, and she was taking the discussions to learn more about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She had actually met with quite a few missionaries and already knew a lot about the Church. I don’t know all the reasons, but it was while I was there that she found her testimony of the truthfulness of the Gospel. There was a special connection between us, one of familiarity that hasn’t gone away. She and her daughter, and since then her grandchildren, have been baptized and have found a greater happiness in life. She has never stopped expressing her gratitude to me for sharing something with her family. I am very thankful for her and love her very much.
My wife, Liz, and I have been married for almost seventeen years now. It wasn’t long after we were married that she became the Mother of our little family. She has literally poured her life into me and our children. She is constantly drawing from a well of spirituality so that she can give more to those she loves. I don’t know how she manages to do it, but she gives and gives and gives, and her well doesn’t seem to run out. Her love is beautiful to me. I have learned more about love from her than any other person in this world, and I have known some people who are capable of immense love. It is such a treasured blessing for me to know that we have a marriage that has been designed to not only last, but grow forever. The sealing ordinances of the Holy Temple are a tremendous comfort in our marriage. It is a blessing I would wish for every marriage.
Several years ago, my wife’s grandmother, Cecile Smith, passed away. Grandma Cec was dear to me. She loved me like I was one of her own, and I am thrilled to have her claim me. Not long before she passed away, I visited her in her home. She couldn’t speak. She was barely conscious. I didn’t feel the need to say anything to her. Instead I took her hand and held it as we stared into each other’s eyes. It was such a beautiful moment as I felt her love for me. Again I felt a feeling of familiarity that seemed to extend into eternity. I miss her very, very much. Occasionally I will feel that feeling again, and I wonder. Whether she is near or not, she remains very close in my heart.
Kerstin Koldewyn is a close friend who often seems more like a fraternal twin. She gets me. While we have our differences of opinion, I find that we often think like mirror images. The nice thing for me is that she is also honest, direct, and even blunt. She is not afraid to speak her mind, even when she knows I will likely disagree. This is a wonderful gift. Kerstin helps me to challenge my own opinions, and consider other points of view. In a kind way, she has helped me to see my weaknesses more clearly so I can change. She has taught me a lot about trust and what it means to be a true friend in every sense of the word. I am grateful for her selfless gift.
From the time when I was five years old, I can’t ever remember an occasion when Fay Evans didn’t have an extra supply of smiles for me. She has been a lifelong friend who has always been interested, has always been encouraging, and has always been my example. Though now a widow, she seems to have as much energy and enthusiasm for life as she has ever had. Whether it was taking me and a bunch of cub scouts fishing at Camp Tracy, or recently giving service together in a small senior living community, she has long been a source of faith and testimony.
As I think about the many, many good women in my life, I am grateful to God for the way they have each blessed me. My forgoing list is short, but there are numerous others including sisters, nieces, cousins, aunts, family by marriage, friends, neighbors, and other acquaintances, that have profoundly affected my life for good. Women have unique and wonderful gifts that have blessed all mankind, not the least of which is the gift of Motherhood. To each of you wonderful women who demonstrate love, compassion, and charity, I wish you the happiest of Mother's Days. May God bless you for sharing your gifts!
What I Believe…
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Remembering Your Gifts
A few years ago, I made a very difficult decision to set aside one of my personal interests. It was a novel I hope to write. For almost a decade I felt compelled to tell a story that was constantly in my head, and I spent much of my spare time developing characters, plot and subplots, and a culture and history to go with it. The story is about a young woman in a city of merchants. In the middle of a successful venture opportunity that is offered her, she finds herself surrounded by intrigue, a national revolution, and secret combinations. I have become very familiar with this character in the past ten years. When I made the decision to put my story aside, my feelings were deep.
At the time, I felt a couple of compelling reasons why I needed to put my own interests on hold. While I had responsibilities with work and also with my church, the biggest reason was my family. I considered the amount of time that I had available to spend with my children, and I figured that most of it would be taken in order to write my story. The two interests were starting to compete. The second reason was that I felt I needed to spend more time with people. I needed to make some visits. When I considered how much happiness I felt when I would visit a friend or an acquaintance I hadn’t seen in a while, and then compared it to the frustration I felt after spending a small amount of time on my story and not get anywhere, I decided it was time.
I remember the day I put my story in boxes. I had sketches and maps that covered the wall of my study, with storylines and resource material that I had researched. At no time did my interest seem wrong. It just seemed that it wasn’t the right time. I had this feeling that was small and quiet. I felt that putting my interests aside for a time was the right thing. It reminded me a lot of when I made the decision to serve a full-time mission and I had to leave family and friends at home, and focus on serving people I had never met before. The two years passed and were incredible. Afterward, I came back and continued the important relationships in my life. They have become much better.
Since that time, my interests haven’t gone away. I find that I still have a strong desire to write, and I take some time to do it. I still love to read, and I look for little places in my schedule that I can carve out for it. I love to paint and draw. I don’t get to as much as I would like, but I still have this strong desire to do so. Each of these is a gift. They are all things that I am interested in and have some ability to do.
As I have focused on my other responsibilities, I think I forgot some of the reasons for putting my interests aside. It wasn’t because I was too busy. My biggest reason was because of my children. Recently I was reminded of my gifts and how I could better use them.
Two weeks ago I had the opportunity to watch Rose Datoc Dall paint at a Deseret Book Lunch and Learn. I have admired her work for a couple of years now, and it was great to see her in person. She is a beautiful artist. As she painted she described some of the challenges and blessings she feels as a mother. Trying to find balance is not always easy. In fact, it often doesn’t exist because our circumstances are always changing. As we shared some examples of using our gifts and talents, I mentioned that I recently hadn’t painted as much due to time constraints. Her comment was, “Why don’t you paint with your kids?” That simple suggestion got me thinking.
Initially, the reason I stopped working on my story was because it was taking time away from my family. As I thought about other interests I have, I wondered why I shouldn’t spend more time sharing those interests with them. It would give us more in common and could help all of us to grow.
This morning I have been pondering a scripture about gifts. While it is specifically about gifts of the spirit, I think it has some relevant application. The Lord, Himself, taught, “seek ye earnestly the best gifts, always remembering for what they are given … they are given for the benefit of those who love me and keep my commandments, and him that seeketh so to do; that all may be benefited that seek or that ask of me….” (Doctrine & Covenants 46:8-9)
I have other friends who have provided constant encouragement and support for my talents. I am grateful for dear friends. They, with the events of the last few weeks, have given me reason to reflect on gifts that we are each given. What a blessing it is when a friend will share their gifts and talents with me. It is a privilege to do the same in return.
Perhaps the real lesson I needed to learn was not to set aside my gifts and interests, but to look for ways that they could bring me closer to those that I care about, remembering why friends and gifts are given.
The Art of Rose Datoc Dall
What I Believe…
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
At the time, I felt a couple of compelling reasons why I needed to put my own interests on hold. While I had responsibilities with work and also with my church, the biggest reason was my family. I considered the amount of time that I had available to spend with my children, and I figured that most of it would be taken in order to write my story. The two interests were starting to compete. The second reason was that I felt I needed to spend more time with people. I needed to make some visits. When I considered how much happiness I felt when I would visit a friend or an acquaintance I hadn’t seen in a while, and then compared it to the frustration I felt after spending a small amount of time on my story and not get anywhere, I decided it was time.
I remember the day I put my story in boxes. I had sketches and maps that covered the wall of my study, with storylines and resource material that I had researched. At no time did my interest seem wrong. It just seemed that it wasn’t the right time. I had this feeling that was small and quiet. I felt that putting my interests aside for a time was the right thing. It reminded me a lot of when I made the decision to serve a full-time mission and I had to leave family and friends at home, and focus on serving people I had never met before. The two years passed and were incredible. Afterward, I came back and continued the important relationships in my life. They have become much better.
Since that time, my interests haven’t gone away. I find that I still have a strong desire to write, and I take some time to do it. I still love to read, and I look for little places in my schedule that I can carve out for it. I love to paint and draw. I don’t get to as much as I would like, but I still have this strong desire to do so. Each of these is a gift. They are all things that I am interested in and have some ability to do.
As I have focused on my other responsibilities, I think I forgot some of the reasons for putting my interests aside. It wasn’t because I was too busy. My biggest reason was because of my children. Recently I was reminded of my gifts and how I could better use them.
Two weeks ago I had the opportunity to watch Rose Datoc Dall paint at a Deseret Book Lunch and Learn. I have admired her work for a couple of years now, and it was great to see her in person. She is a beautiful artist. As she painted she described some of the challenges and blessings she feels as a mother. Trying to find balance is not always easy. In fact, it often doesn’t exist because our circumstances are always changing. As we shared some examples of using our gifts and talents, I mentioned that I recently hadn’t painted as much due to time constraints. Her comment was, “Why don’t you paint with your kids?” That simple suggestion got me thinking.
Initially, the reason I stopped working on my story was because it was taking time away from my family. As I thought about other interests I have, I wondered why I shouldn’t spend more time sharing those interests with them. It would give us more in common and could help all of us to grow.
This morning I have been pondering a scripture about gifts. While it is specifically about gifts of the spirit, I think it has some relevant application. The Lord, Himself, taught, “seek ye earnestly the best gifts, always remembering for what they are given … they are given for the benefit of those who love me and keep my commandments, and him that seeketh so to do; that all may be benefited that seek or that ask of me….” (Doctrine & Covenants 46:8-9)
I have other friends who have provided constant encouragement and support for my talents. I am grateful for dear friends. They, with the events of the last few weeks, have given me reason to reflect on gifts that we are each given. What a blessing it is when a friend will share their gifts and talents with me. It is a privilege to do the same in return.
Perhaps the real lesson I needed to learn was not to set aside my gifts and interests, but to look for ways that they could bring me closer to those that I care about, remembering why friends and gifts are given.
The Art of Rose Datoc Dall
What I Believe…
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Forgrudgeness
I'm not much of a grduge holder, but last night I was intrigued by a story that President Thomas S. Monson told in the priesthood session of General Conference about a couple who had some serious grudges. Ouch. Whether or not that sounds like you, there are times where a grudge can seem like a really good idea. I think it is worth thinking twice.
I’m angry still!
I feel so good when I hold out.
Of all the friends that could have stung,
It’s you this had to be about.
It wasn’t much, but just enough
To make my patience crawl.
Can I pretend that things are good?
Instead I’ll nail it to the wall.
I’ll build more walls with thorny looks
And silent words that stay unthought.
“So there!” Oh, oops. Two words slipped through
To help connect the dot-to-dot.
And then I wake to see my room
With thorns and scrawls, and me alone.
Does anger really feel so good,
When peace is knocked down from its throne?
I wipe the scrawls between the dots,
And pull the thorn on which I stepped.
I see the clock and wonder at
How many hours of sting it’s kept.
It’s been too long since I have thought
About my friend and what we share.
If truth be told, I’d rather have
More friends than walls forever there.
What I Believe…
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
I’m angry still!
I feel so good when I hold out.
Of all the friends that could have stung,
It’s you this had to be about.
It wasn’t much, but just enough
To make my patience crawl.
Can I pretend that things are good?
Instead I’ll nail it to the wall.
I’ll build more walls with thorny looks
And silent words that stay unthought.
“So there!” Oh, oops. Two words slipped through
To help connect the dot-to-dot.
And then I wake to see my room
With thorns and scrawls, and me alone.
Does anger really feel so good,
When peace is knocked down from its throne?
I wipe the scrawls between the dots,
And pull the thorn on which I stepped.
I see the clock and wonder at
How many hours of sting it’s kept.
It’s been too long since I have thought
About my friend and what we share.
If truth be told, I’d rather have
More friends than walls forever there.
What I Believe…
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Monday, February 28, 2011
A Little Dose of Wisdom
How long has it been since you tried to do something and, in spite your best efforts, things went the wrong way? For me, it hasn’t been very long. Deep sigh. I’ll share in hopes that you can learn from my folly. You see, I seem to have this occasional knack for arrogance without intending to. Call it over-confidence or a lack of consideration; it’s a character trait that will quickly offend if I am not watchful. This week, I wasn’t watching.
A few days ago I had a conversation with a good friend – one of my favorite people in the world to talk with. She always has beautiful insights and she is willing to challenge me, which is really helpful. It’s a blessing because I don’t think it’s good to believe everything you think, and another perspective can really help. I am more inclined to listen to criticism from a good friend who knows me well and expresses honest feelings. That kind of openness is a rare gift.
Previous to our conversation, I had shared a personal opinion that seemed to fidget in my friend’s mind. It was restless and didn’t sit well. As might be expected, the idea came up in our next conversation. After discussing what came to be a difference of opinion, my friend did the wise thing and suggested that we put the topic on hold. I missed the cue. In my eagerness to resolve the conversation, I hoped to clarify my point of view. My friend then offered a valuable question. She asked, “Do you hope I will see things your way if you keep talking about it?” Ouch. Her question was hard to hear, but it was very helpful to me. I think it will shift the way I think for the better.
Unfortunately, my disappointment continued to grow before her question sunk in. That makes me a bit arrogant and thick. Sigh again. Why is it we don’t always think clearly in moments of frustration? After we said goodbye, I had a hard time concentrating on much else. It wasn’t because we had a difference of opinion. Rather it was because I felt misunderstood. Hmmm. What else is someone who is arrogant to think? The fact is my reasons didn’t matter. My friend was right. Then something cool happened.
During my frustration, a proverb came to mind. “Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee: rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.” (Proverbs 9:8-9) At that moment, I didn’t feel very wise. Thankfully, it’s not too late to change.
My story may not be the best evidence, but I highly value differing opinions. I tend to learn more from friends who offer another perspective. In the case of my friend, I’ve noticed that when she has challenged me in the past, whether I am right or wrong, she usually sees something that I cannot. I am grateful for that insight.
In some areas I am a very slow learner. I’m afraid this is one of them. Fortunately, I think I am making progress. I now realize that my persistence didn’t match the gift of openness that I value so much. More importantly, I discovered that an honest observation can provide some good instruction. I believe it will help me to be a much better friend.
It is good to be wise. It is better yet to have friends with wisdom. How lucky I am to have such a friend.
What I Believe…
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
A few days ago I had a conversation with a good friend – one of my favorite people in the world to talk with. She always has beautiful insights and she is willing to challenge me, which is really helpful. It’s a blessing because I don’t think it’s good to believe everything you think, and another perspective can really help. I am more inclined to listen to criticism from a good friend who knows me well and expresses honest feelings. That kind of openness is a rare gift.
Previous to our conversation, I had shared a personal opinion that seemed to fidget in my friend’s mind. It was restless and didn’t sit well. As might be expected, the idea came up in our next conversation. After discussing what came to be a difference of opinion, my friend did the wise thing and suggested that we put the topic on hold. I missed the cue. In my eagerness to resolve the conversation, I hoped to clarify my point of view. My friend then offered a valuable question. She asked, “Do you hope I will see things your way if you keep talking about it?” Ouch. Her question was hard to hear, but it was very helpful to me. I think it will shift the way I think for the better.
Unfortunately, my disappointment continued to grow before her question sunk in. That makes me a bit arrogant and thick. Sigh again. Why is it we don’t always think clearly in moments of frustration? After we said goodbye, I had a hard time concentrating on much else. It wasn’t because we had a difference of opinion. Rather it was because I felt misunderstood. Hmmm. What else is someone who is arrogant to think? The fact is my reasons didn’t matter. My friend was right. Then something cool happened.
During my frustration, a proverb came to mind. “Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee: rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.” (Proverbs 9:8-9) At that moment, I didn’t feel very wise. Thankfully, it’s not too late to change.
My story may not be the best evidence, but I highly value differing opinions. I tend to learn more from friends who offer another perspective. In the case of my friend, I’ve noticed that when she has challenged me in the past, whether I am right or wrong, she usually sees something that I cannot. I am grateful for that insight.
In some areas I am a very slow learner. I’m afraid this is one of them. Fortunately, I think I am making progress. I now realize that my persistence didn’t match the gift of openness that I value so much. More importantly, I discovered that an honest observation can provide some good instruction. I believe it will help me to be a much better friend.
It is good to be wise. It is better yet to have friends with wisdom. How lucky I am to have such a friend.
What I Believe…
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Choirs and Ribbons
I don’t remember ever having a more wonderful Christmas Eve and Christmas Day than this year! Both made my personal hall of fame of memories. More than just being recent, they were meaningful and touching. Time with my wife and children was exquisite, the best ever. Christmas Eve, however, was different from any other for a few reasons. The difference was in how the day started and ended, and that seemed to set the stage for everything else.
The traditional Christmas Eve for the McConkies has always involved a full-itinerary-procession to visit the homes of various extended family. Circumstances being different this year, we found ourselves looking at a day without any of our usual plans. So instead, we welcomed some close family friends of ours into our home to exchange some gifts in the morning. What a blessing!
The first exchange was an enjoyable conversation. It was gift enough, yet other presents were given too – packages wrapped in festive paper, carefully tied with beautiful ribbon. The presents could have been anything, a tissue box for that matter, and it would have meant a lot to me. Just as much as the contents inside the wrapping, it was the ribbon that stood out. Without any words, the ribbon, the attention to detail, and the way it was tied, all seemed to say, “Thank you for being my friend.” I could tell the gift meant a lot before it was opened. It was beautiful. I was deeply grateful for the expression of the gift, as well as the gifts given without any wrappings.
That night, following a newly begun tradition of Christmas Eve dinner at home, we were visited by some guests that we hadn’t expected. I was doing my best to uphold my Dad’s long-held tradition of wrapping final presents on Christmas Eve when I was interrupted by my daughter’s observation that we had carolers. I went to the front door, preceded by my family, and watched as a crowd of friends stood around our porch singing Christmas carols to us. These were not just any voices, mind you. It was the combined voices of nearly forty Samoans singing from their hearts. If you have not heard a Polynesian choir before, you have not yet been to heaven. For a moment, I stood in heaven and began to cry. Tears streamed down my face as I looked into the eyes of my friends. There was so much warmth in their music. I felt their friendship, and the value they placed on it.
Again and again I thought of a line from one of my favorite Christmas songs. “Faithful friends who are dear to us gather near to us once more.” Oh, how I wish I could gather around each of my family and friends who are dear to me so they could feel what I felt that Christmas Eve.
In both instances, there were no strings attached to the gifts, not unless you count the carefully tied ribbon that said much without any words. Each gift was given straight from the heart without expectation of anything in return. If anything was tied, it was my heart knit to the givers of the gift. When presents are presented with love, they stop being things and become memories and meaning. Those are the gifts I value most.
This year, as my own personal prayers have been answered, I have recognized these beautiful gifts as joint gifts from God. I thank Him for the family and friends he has given me. I thank Him for their love and kindness. Every gift that is given without strings or conditions, regardless of the giver, seems to more closely tie the giver and the receiver with the most beautiful ribbon.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
The traditional Christmas Eve for the McConkies has always involved a full-itinerary-procession to visit the homes of various extended family. Circumstances being different this year, we found ourselves looking at a day without any of our usual plans. So instead, we welcomed some close family friends of ours into our home to exchange some gifts in the morning. What a blessing!
The first exchange was an enjoyable conversation. It was gift enough, yet other presents were given too – packages wrapped in festive paper, carefully tied with beautiful ribbon. The presents could have been anything, a tissue box for that matter, and it would have meant a lot to me. Just as much as the contents inside the wrapping, it was the ribbon that stood out. Without any words, the ribbon, the attention to detail, and the way it was tied, all seemed to say, “Thank you for being my friend.” I could tell the gift meant a lot before it was opened. It was beautiful. I was deeply grateful for the expression of the gift, as well as the gifts given without any wrappings.
That night, following a newly begun tradition of Christmas Eve dinner at home, we were visited by some guests that we hadn’t expected. I was doing my best to uphold my Dad’s long-held tradition of wrapping final presents on Christmas Eve when I was interrupted by my daughter’s observation that we had carolers. I went to the front door, preceded by my family, and watched as a crowd of friends stood around our porch singing Christmas carols to us. These were not just any voices, mind you. It was the combined voices of nearly forty Samoans singing from their hearts. If you have not heard a Polynesian choir before, you have not yet been to heaven. For a moment, I stood in heaven and began to cry. Tears streamed down my face as I looked into the eyes of my friends. There was so much warmth in their music. I felt their friendship, and the value they placed on it.
Again and again I thought of a line from one of my favorite Christmas songs. “Faithful friends who are dear to us gather near to us once more.” Oh, how I wish I could gather around each of my family and friends who are dear to me so they could feel what I felt that Christmas Eve.
In both instances, there were no strings attached to the gifts, not unless you count the carefully tied ribbon that said much without any words. Each gift was given straight from the heart without expectation of anything in return. If anything was tied, it was my heart knit to the givers of the gift. When presents are presented with love, they stop being things and become memories and meaning. Those are the gifts I value most.
This year, as my own personal prayers have been answered, I have recognized these beautiful gifts as joint gifts from God. I thank Him for the family and friends he has given me. I thank Him for their love and kindness. Every gift that is given without strings or conditions, regardless of the giver, seems to more closely tie the giver and the receiver with the most beautiful ribbon.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Good Intentions, Side Effects, and What to Do with Them
Let me tell you about a personal awkward moment. I think I may have done some harm this week. Deep sigh. I really hope it’s not lasting. But you can imagine my frustration when I learned I had hurt the feelings of someone I care about. My intentions were good, but there were less than desirable side effects that followed my actions.
Reflecting on the last several days brought a second instance to mind. That troubled me. This isn’t the kind of thing I want to become a recurring theme. Then again, perhaps I’m better at creating side effects than I thought.
With the door wide open to my acknowledged faults, I wondered if there were other people I had affected inadvertently. My desire to know seemed to be an open invitation for examples from my memory. The unwelcomed intrusions did more than visit on the porch. They walked in the front door of my mind and brought company.
I sat in thought and began to count. One, two, five, eight…. While some examples were quite small, I recognized that a number of my choices this week had made someone else unhappy. Quickly feeling that the place where I house my thoughts was getting crowded, I closed the door on the line of applicants with comments for my suggestion box. One week’s time seemed like plenty to deal with.
The painful difficulty was that the examples were not anonymous strangers. They were people who are close to me – a brother, a friend, another friend, my wife, my daughter, and the list went on. Each one of them is a person I love very much.
As I considered my circumstance, I thought about a young Jesus who found himself in the middle of a similar predicament. At the age of twelve, he was found by his parents sitting in the temple with men who were listening to him and asking him questions. Mary and Joseph were distraught because they looked for Jesus for three days before finding him. When they asked him why he had dealt with them that way, he responded, “Wist ye not that I must be about my Father’s business?” (Luke 2:45-49) He intended to do good, and yet at the same time hurt those who were closest to him, causing them concern.
Less desirable side effects that follow good choices are not uncommon. While I may perceive a choice to be good, someone else may not. Choosing to have more family time may mean less of a favorite pastime for another family member. A decision to save money for a vacation may mean that some other budget gets cut. While discouraging to admit, I think this is just one of the many dilemmas we face as mortals. It’s hard to live without making a mess.
I don’t like negative side effects that smolder in the glow of hot embers. I would much rather repair the emotional distance and close the gap before it has the chance to experience continental drift. This often requires a change of perspective. While pondering how to mitigate the effects of my intentions this week, I remembered a significant conversation with my wife last summer. The outcome of that memory is what we refer to as the 1700 North principle. That happened to be our location when we made an important discovery.
Liz and I had gone for a morning walk and began to discuss a difference of opinion we shared. We simply didn’t agree. In spite of a beautiful sunrise, it felt like the day might be drawing to a close. I felt frustrated and so did she.
Our conversation more closely resembled a familiar tennis match. While we could see the thin net that divided us, and we anticipated where the ball would fall next, we didn’t quite see each other. The score was tied, but neither of us wanted to win at the defeat of the other. We just wanted to end the game. It was time for a different strategy.
You know, it’s hard to return a volley if both players are on the same side of the net. That’s a move that doesn’t make much sense if you like tennis. We found the strategy helps a lot when you care about a person more than you care about the game.
My next move started by admitting my faults and acknowledging how my choices affected my wife. That wasn’t easy to say out loud, but it felt necessary. With my guard down, it was easier for her to drop hers. Next, I expressed my intent in what I had hoped to accomplish, and I asked for forgiveness. Then I listened. I listened as she did the same thing, and the morning became much more enjoyable.
Each of us took down the fences we had built around our perceptions. For the first time that morning we considered each other’s feelings. That seemed to be the key to ending the game, and it worked. We didn’t change each other’s minds, but we figured out a simple way to navigate less desirable side effects from decisions we each thought were good. We worked through it.
The 1700 North principle has been very helpful to me when I find I’ve hurt someone’s feelings. As hard as it was, and as simple as it sounds, seeing was a matter of choice. I may not always be able to control how my decisions affect another person, but I can choose to reduce the gap by changing my vantage point. If I am going to have a recurring theme at the end of the week, I would rather be consistent in considering the feelings of others from the same side of the net.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Reflecting on the last several days brought a second instance to mind. That troubled me. This isn’t the kind of thing I want to become a recurring theme. Then again, perhaps I’m better at creating side effects than I thought.
With the door wide open to my acknowledged faults, I wondered if there were other people I had affected inadvertently. My desire to know seemed to be an open invitation for examples from my memory. The unwelcomed intrusions did more than visit on the porch. They walked in the front door of my mind and brought company.
I sat in thought and began to count. One, two, five, eight…. While some examples were quite small, I recognized that a number of my choices this week had made someone else unhappy. Quickly feeling that the place where I house my thoughts was getting crowded, I closed the door on the line of applicants with comments for my suggestion box. One week’s time seemed like plenty to deal with.
The painful difficulty was that the examples were not anonymous strangers. They were people who are close to me – a brother, a friend, another friend, my wife, my daughter, and the list went on. Each one of them is a person I love very much.
As I considered my circumstance, I thought about a young Jesus who found himself in the middle of a similar predicament. At the age of twelve, he was found by his parents sitting in the temple with men who were listening to him and asking him questions. Mary and Joseph were distraught because they looked for Jesus for three days before finding him. When they asked him why he had dealt with them that way, he responded, “Wist ye not that I must be about my Father’s business?” (Luke 2:45-49) He intended to do good, and yet at the same time hurt those who were closest to him, causing them concern.
Less desirable side effects that follow good choices are not uncommon. While I may perceive a choice to be good, someone else may not. Choosing to have more family time may mean less of a favorite pastime for another family member. A decision to save money for a vacation may mean that some other budget gets cut. While discouraging to admit, I think this is just one of the many dilemmas we face as mortals. It’s hard to live without making a mess.
I don’t like negative side effects that smolder in the glow of hot embers. I would much rather repair the emotional distance and close the gap before it has the chance to experience continental drift. This often requires a change of perspective. While pondering how to mitigate the effects of my intentions this week, I remembered a significant conversation with my wife last summer. The outcome of that memory is what we refer to as the 1700 North principle. That happened to be our location when we made an important discovery.
Liz and I had gone for a morning walk and began to discuss a difference of opinion we shared. We simply didn’t agree. In spite of a beautiful sunrise, it felt like the day might be drawing to a close. I felt frustrated and so did she.
Our conversation more closely resembled a familiar tennis match. While we could see the thin net that divided us, and we anticipated where the ball would fall next, we didn’t quite see each other. The score was tied, but neither of us wanted to win at the defeat of the other. We just wanted to end the game. It was time for a different strategy.
You know, it’s hard to return a volley if both players are on the same side of the net. That’s a move that doesn’t make much sense if you like tennis. We found the strategy helps a lot when you care about a person more than you care about the game.
My next move started by admitting my faults and acknowledging how my choices affected my wife. That wasn’t easy to say out loud, but it felt necessary. With my guard down, it was easier for her to drop hers. Next, I expressed my intent in what I had hoped to accomplish, and I asked for forgiveness. Then I listened. I listened as she did the same thing, and the morning became much more enjoyable.
Each of us took down the fences we had built around our perceptions. For the first time that morning we considered each other’s feelings. That seemed to be the key to ending the game, and it worked. We didn’t change each other’s minds, but we figured out a simple way to navigate less desirable side effects from decisions we each thought were good. We worked through it.
The 1700 North principle has been very helpful to me when I find I’ve hurt someone’s feelings. As hard as it was, and as simple as it sounds, seeing was a matter of choice. I may not always be able to control how my decisions affect another person, but I can choose to reduce the gap by changing my vantage point. If I am going to have a recurring theme at the end of the week, I would rather be consistent in considering the feelings of others from the same side of the net.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, December 5, 2010
My Pile
Beside me on my desk sits a pile of curious things – a journal, a sketchbook, a letter, and a handheld technological device that I almost always refer to as my phone. Each item is curious for a different but meaningful reason. All of them have one thing in common.
I pulled the journal off the shelf this morning trying to remember the specifics of a vivid memory. The occasion was Christmas Eve a few years before I was married. After an evening spent with my family, a friend of mine stopped by to wish me a Merry Christmas. She and I talked for a while, and then together we delivered a few presents to some of our friends. I returned home to finish writing the last of some homemade Christmas cards I intended to deliver before Christmas Day. Time was running out. When another friend discovered I was up late and intended to make over 45 stops that night, he offered to keep me company on my route. I was glad to have him aboard.
We started just after midnight and so did the snow. It was a beautiful storm! I don’t remember ever being out so late on a Christmas Eve before, especially not while Santa was making deliveries of his own. As you might imagine, the roads were almost empty. The streets were quiet, and the snow was white and fresh with hardly a track besides mine. Because of the storm, it took much longer to deliver my cards – five hours, in fact – but it has remained one of my favorite Christmas memories. Having a friend made all the difference.
Second in my pile, my sketchbook is a journal of a different sort. Its pages capture ink drawings of things I find meaningful or memorable. Instead of being reluctant hostages, the willing memories become my friends and remind me of where we have been. I like using ink because there is a certain feeling of permanence, a lastingness that is beautiful to imagine.
The first drawing in my present sketchbook depicts the pipe organ in the historic Assembly Hall on Temple Square. The occasion of this sketch was a concert my wife and I attended with some friends of ours this last summer. While listening to the performance, we recalled one of our first dates – a holiday season Christmas concert where we sat on a pew not far from where we were that night. The flavor of that memory was discovering how much we liked each other. Fortunate for me she liked my sense of humor. I liked her smile. At the time, I had this secret wish that I could meet a girl, date her over Christmas, and then get married. Well, I’m grateful to report that particular wish worked out for the best.
Loosely placed in my sketchbook are a collection of other related things, such as handwritten napkins, yellow Post-it reminders, ticket stubs, and notes of things I have thought. Since I often take my black, hardcover sketchbook with me wherever I go, it often acts as the repository of other related memories. It becomes the wallet of my thoughts.
The letter in my pile, mentioned above, was an item I happened to discover inside my sketchbook. I believe it was carefully placed by a friend at a time when I needed it most. Written on a pad of business stationary, the note simply said, “Thanks for being my friend! Always.” That simple phrase instantly connected me to experiences I had shared with my friend which were less recent. Like a deep sea expedition to recover a sunken ship, the life boat started tugging treasured moments until they surfaced above the ocean. Somehow, the brief letter managed to tie together a number of memories and make them fresh.
Lastly, at the top of my pile, sits my phone. Different from the journal, the sketchbook, and the letter, it seems to connect me more with the present. My children may not, but I still remember when a phone was used for making phone calls. Now, I think I use my phone more for texting and sending email. We live in a time where there seems to be a need to stay connected constantly. Why? I’m not sure yet, but I’ll confess to feeling something like Christmas morning when my phone vibrates and I have just received a message from someone I care about. I value that feeling. I can be far away from home, and then suddenly feel like I am much closer because of that connection.
Each object in my pile represents the thing I value more than anything else – relationships. There are very important people in my life. I find I am much happier when I stay close to them. Without the people, my journal would be flat, and the permanence of an ink sketch would be insignificant. This Christmas, I hope to refresh my focus on people instead of stuff. I like piles. It’s the piles of memories I have acquired with family and friends that I cherish most.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
I pulled the journal off the shelf this morning trying to remember the specifics of a vivid memory. The occasion was Christmas Eve a few years before I was married. After an evening spent with my family, a friend of mine stopped by to wish me a Merry Christmas. She and I talked for a while, and then together we delivered a few presents to some of our friends. I returned home to finish writing the last of some homemade Christmas cards I intended to deliver before Christmas Day. Time was running out. When another friend discovered I was up late and intended to make over 45 stops that night, he offered to keep me company on my route. I was glad to have him aboard.
We started just after midnight and so did the snow. It was a beautiful storm! I don’t remember ever being out so late on a Christmas Eve before, especially not while Santa was making deliveries of his own. As you might imagine, the roads were almost empty. The streets were quiet, and the snow was white and fresh with hardly a track besides mine. Because of the storm, it took much longer to deliver my cards – five hours, in fact – but it has remained one of my favorite Christmas memories. Having a friend made all the difference.
Second in my pile, my sketchbook is a journal of a different sort. Its pages capture ink drawings of things I find meaningful or memorable. Instead of being reluctant hostages, the willing memories become my friends and remind me of where we have been. I like using ink because there is a certain feeling of permanence, a lastingness that is beautiful to imagine.
The first drawing in my present sketchbook depicts the pipe organ in the historic Assembly Hall on Temple Square. The occasion of this sketch was a concert my wife and I attended with some friends of ours this last summer. While listening to the performance, we recalled one of our first dates – a holiday season Christmas concert where we sat on a pew not far from where we were that night. The flavor of that memory was discovering how much we liked each other. Fortunate for me she liked my sense of humor. I liked her smile. At the time, I had this secret wish that I could meet a girl, date her over Christmas, and then get married. Well, I’m grateful to report that particular wish worked out for the best.
Loosely placed in my sketchbook are a collection of other related things, such as handwritten napkins, yellow Post-it reminders, ticket stubs, and notes of things I have thought. Since I often take my black, hardcover sketchbook with me wherever I go, it often acts as the repository of other related memories. It becomes the wallet of my thoughts.
The letter in my pile, mentioned above, was an item I happened to discover inside my sketchbook. I believe it was carefully placed by a friend at a time when I needed it most. Written on a pad of business stationary, the note simply said, “Thanks for being my friend! Always.” That simple phrase instantly connected me to experiences I had shared with my friend which were less recent. Like a deep sea expedition to recover a sunken ship, the life boat started tugging treasured moments until they surfaced above the ocean. Somehow, the brief letter managed to tie together a number of memories and make them fresh.
Lastly, at the top of my pile, sits my phone. Different from the journal, the sketchbook, and the letter, it seems to connect me more with the present. My children may not, but I still remember when a phone was used for making phone calls. Now, I think I use my phone more for texting and sending email. We live in a time where there seems to be a need to stay connected constantly. Why? I’m not sure yet, but I’ll confess to feeling something like Christmas morning when my phone vibrates and I have just received a message from someone I care about. I value that feeling. I can be far away from home, and then suddenly feel like I am much closer because of that connection.
Each object in my pile represents the thing I value more than anything else – relationships. There are very important people in my life. I find I am much happier when I stay close to them. Without the people, my journal would be flat, and the permanence of an ink sketch would be insignificant. This Christmas, I hope to refresh my focus on people instead of stuff. I like piles. It’s the piles of memories I have acquired with family and friends that I cherish most.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Hey Stranger, Welcome Back
Meeting someone for the first time can be a unique experience. There are people I am introduced to that I may not expect to see again. Then there are those that have a higher probability of maintaining an acquaintance. I think all of us make judgment calls of how much we need to remember when we meet someone, which makes some introductions more memorable. Some of those come as a surprise. More than the judgments, it’s the surprises that make the introduction unique.
The first time I remember meeting my wife was on a Saturday night. It wasn’t love at first sight, but she was so pretty that I asked a friend to introduce us. Her smile really attracted me. That was the bait. As would be my luck, she made the judgment call that we probably wouldn’t meet again, and by the following Monday, she had already forgotten my name. Well, I can’t fault her for that. We’ve become much more acquainted since then.
Oddly enough, we had already met in some manner two years previous to that time. While neither of us recalls being introduced, we both remember attending the same party and playing the same game with a group of friends. I suppose that makes the subsequent introduction more unique.
As I became acquainted with Liz, there was a very familiar feeling about her. It wasn’t a, “Hey, haven’t we met before?” kind of experience. It was different than that, something that I’m not quite sure how to explain. All I can say is that the way I felt reminded me of something much longer and deeper.
A few years after Liz and I were married, we bought a home and moved into a new ward. I remember going to church one particular Sunday when I walked into the chapel at roughly the same time another guy walked in. That was another unique experience. I looked at him and he looked at me and we both seemed to be wearing the same expression on our faces. I couldn’t place where, but he seemed very familiar to me. We introduced ourselves and then began listing off every possibility of where we could have met. To this day we have had no success in figuring that out, but we have been friends ever since.
Another familiar introduction I have had was with a close friend who is something like a fraternal twin. She and I often share opinions, interests, and temperament, so much so that you might think that we were siblings. Having grown up in two different homes and circumstances, however, has caused us to puzzle over the uniqueness of our friendship. Still we wonder.
With each of these examples there has been a feeling of familiarity that is hard to explain. Each is different, but they have some commonality, too. I don’t know what to attribute these feelings to, but I do know that the veil is often thin enough that there may be several reasons why we sometimes feel this way. Now that I have told you what I don’t know, let me share a few things that I do know that seem both similar and familiar.
Throughout my life I have met people who have had a profound affect on me and have shaped who I am. I have also had experiences that seemed just as significant. In both cases, I am often left with impressions that I don’t know how to place. I feel greater meaning yet I find it difficult to dress the impressions with the correct words to describe them. Still, my inability to articulate the feeling doesn’t negate the validity of the meaning. These relationships and experiences are similar in that they both have familiarity to them. They are also commonly accompanied by a familiar ingredient.
Familiar is a funny term. It can refer to something that I am very well acquainted with, at an expert level as it were, or it can refer to something that makes me feel comfortable and welcome, just as though I were family. When I feel the influence of the Holy Ghost, it is not uncommon for me to feel one or the other, and sometimes both.
One of the divine roles of the Holy Ghost is to be a Comforter to anyone who is exercising their faith. When I feel His influence, I feel the fruits of the spirit, or specific feelings that help me to recognize His influence for what it is. I often feel an increase of love, happiness, and peace. Because of that calming and comforting influence, it becomes easier for me to endure and exercise greater faith when things may seem difficult or impossible.
Another way the Holy Ghost blesses my life is by helping me to remember sacred and important things. He can help me to recall how I felt when I made a covenant with God. He can help me to remember why it was important at the time I made the commitment. The Holy Ghost can also help me remember how my preparations in the past have positioned me to face and overcome temptation. In those most difficult moments when things that should seem clear, but do not, He can help. I believe the Holy Ghost can bring to our remembrance the things that we felt and knew in the premortal world before coming to this earth.
As we feel the influence of the Holy Ghost, he can help us remember the familiar feeling of being in the presence of God. When we are worthy of the gift of the Holy Ghost, and we feel His influence, it is no different than if he were there in person. That feeling can reward our faith by validating that the things we are doing are right.
There are times when I feel closer to the Holy Spirit than others. When His influence is strongest in my life, I feel connected to God. The feeling is familiar in that it reminds me of what I felt like in his presence. It also becomes more and more familiar as I work to stay worthy and keep His influence with me. The more I do, the more I become experienced at learning to recognize what God wants me to do. Someday, I hope to be an expert. I hope to live closely to the Holy Spirit so that He can lead me to follow the example and teachings of the Savior Jesus Christ and live with God again.
The Lord taught Joseph Smith, “put your trust in that Spirit which leadeth to do good – yea, to do justly, to walk humbly, to judge righteously; and this is my Spirit. Verily, verily, I say unto you, I will impart unto you of my Spirit which shall enlighten your mind, which shall fill your soul with joy; And then shall ye know, or by this shall you know, all things whatsoever you desire of me, which are pertaining unto things of righteousness, in faith believing in me that you shall receive.” (Doctrine & Covenants 11:12-14)
In my life, evaluating why relationships and experiences seem familiar has been very helpful. While I certainly have my own opinions about their familiarity, I may not fully recognize why they are important to me at the time. Perhaps it is less important that I know, and more important that my mind is comforted and enlightened at the appropriate times so that I can exercise greater faith. When I recognize that part of the familiarity comes from the Holy Ghost, I can worry less about why, and just know that he is leading me to do good.
There are times in my life when I have felt like a stranger to the will of God. In some instances it was because I chose to act against His will, or I was unwilling to follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost. At other times, it has been because I was caught in a moment of ambiguity where God’s will wasn’t clear to me. I was being tested. In either case, as I have exercised my faith, the feeling of peace and comfort returned and it felt as though I was reintroduced to the Holy Ghost. Those moments can feel very familiar in a variety of ways, sometimes all at the same time. It is as though I was familiar all the time, but had only forgotten.
As I become more and more acquainted with the promptings of the Holy Ghost, I should fully expect to become more familiar with that beautiful feeling. I hope to become less of a stranger to the will of God and instead become more comfortable and more experienced in staying close. Then I will feel like both family and friend to Him.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
The first time I remember meeting my wife was on a Saturday night. It wasn’t love at first sight, but she was so pretty that I asked a friend to introduce us. Her smile really attracted me. That was the bait. As would be my luck, she made the judgment call that we probably wouldn’t meet again, and by the following Monday, she had already forgotten my name. Well, I can’t fault her for that. We’ve become much more acquainted since then.
Oddly enough, we had already met in some manner two years previous to that time. While neither of us recalls being introduced, we both remember attending the same party and playing the same game with a group of friends. I suppose that makes the subsequent introduction more unique.
As I became acquainted with Liz, there was a very familiar feeling about her. It wasn’t a, “Hey, haven’t we met before?” kind of experience. It was different than that, something that I’m not quite sure how to explain. All I can say is that the way I felt reminded me of something much longer and deeper.
A few years after Liz and I were married, we bought a home and moved into a new ward. I remember going to church one particular Sunday when I walked into the chapel at roughly the same time another guy walked in. That was another unique experience. I looked at him and he looked at me and we both seemed to be wearing the same expression on our faces. I couldn’t place where, but he seemed very familiar to me. We introduced ourselves and then began listing off every possibility of where we could have met. To this day we have had no success in figuring that out, but we have been friends ever since.
Another familiar introduction I have had was with a close friend who is something like a fraternal twin. She and I often share opinions, interests, and temperament, so much so that you might think that we were siblings. Having grown up in two different homes and circumstances, however, has caused us to puzzle over the uniqueness of our friendship. Still we wonder.
With each of these examples there has been a feeling of familiarity that is hard to explain. Each is different, but they have some commonality, too. I don’t know what to attribute these feelings to, but I do know that the veil is often thin enough that there may be several reasons why we sometimes feel this way. Now that I have told you what I don’t know, let me share a few things that I do know that seem both similar and familiar.
Throughout my life I have met people who have had a profound affect on me and have shaped who I am. I have also had experiences that seemed just as significant. In both cases, I am often left with impressions that I don’t know how to place. I feel greater meaning yet I find it difficult to dress the impressions with the correct words to describe them. Still, my inability to articulate the feeling doesn’t negate the validity of the meaning. These relationships and experiences are similar in that they both have familiarity to them. They are also commonly accompanied by a familiar ingredient.
Familiar is a funny term. It can refer to something that I am very well acquainted with, at an expert level as it were, or it can refer to something that makes me feel comfortable and welcome, just as though I were family. When I feel the influence of the Holy Ghost, it is not uncommon for me to feel one or the other, and sometimes both.
One of the divine roles of the Holy Ghost is to be a Comforter to anyone who is exercising their faith. When I feel His influence, I feel the fruits of the spirit, or specific feelings that help me to recognize His influence for what it is. I often feel an increase of love, happiness, and peace. Because of that calming and comforting influence, it becomes easier for me to endure and exercise greater faith when things may seem difficult or impossible.
Another way the Holy Ghost blesses my life is by helping me to remember sacred and important things. He can help me to recall how I felt when I made a covenant with God. He can help me to remember why it was important at the time I made the commitment. The Holy Ghost can also help me remember how my preparations in the past have positioned me to face and overcome temptation. In those most difficult moments when things that should seem clear, but do not, He can help. I believe the Holy Ghost can bring to our remembrance the things that we felt and knew in the premortal world before coming to this earth.
As we feel the influence of the Holy Ghost, he can help us remember the familiar feeling of being in the presence of God. When we are worthy of the gift of the Holy Ghost, and we feel His influence, it is no different than if he were there in person. That feeling can reward our faith by validating that the things we are doing are right.
There are times when I feel closer to the Holy Spirit than others. When His influence is strongest in my life, I feel connected to God. The feeling is familiar in that it reminds me of what I felt like in his presence. It also becomes more and more familiar as I work to stay worthy and keep His influence with me. The more I do, the more I become experienced at learning to recognize what God wants me to do. Someday, I hope to be an expert. I hope to live closely to the Holy Spirit so that He can lead me to follow the example and teachings of the Savior Jesus Christ and live with God again.
The Lord taught Joseph Smith, “put your trust in that Spirit which leadeth to do good – yea, to do justly, to walk humbly, to judge righteously; and this is my Spirit. Verily, verily, I say unto you, I will impart unto you of my Spirit which shall enlighten your mind, which shall fill your soul with joy; And then shall ye know, or by this shall you know, all things whatsoever you desire of me, which are pertaining unto things of righteousness, in faith believing in me that you shall receive.” (Doctrine & Covenants 11:12-14)
In my life, evaluating why relationships and experiences seem familiar has been very helpful. While I certainly have my own opinions about their familiarity, I may not fully recognize why they are important to me at the time. Perhaps it is less important that I know, and more important that my mind is comforted and enlightened at the appropriate times so that I can exercise greater faith. When I recognize that part of the familiarity comes from the Holy Ghost, I can worry less about why, and just know that he is leading me to do good.
There are times in my life when I have felt like a stranger to the will of God. In some instances it was because I chose to act against His will, or I was unwilling to follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost. At other times, it has been because I was caught in a moment of ambiguity where God’s will wasn’t clear to me. I was being tested. In either case, as I have exercised my faith, the feeling of peace and comfort returned and it felt as though I was reintroduced to the Holy Ghost. Those moments can feel very familiar in a variety of ways, sometimes all at the same time. It is as though I was familiar all the time, but had only forgotten.
As I become more and more acquainted with the promptings of the Holy Ghost, I should fully expect to become more familiar with that beautiful feeling. I hope to become less of a stranger to the will of God and instead become more comfortable and more experienced in staying close. Then I will feel like both family and friend to Him.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, November 7, 2010
One Complete Turn
Occasionally I find myself ashamed because of a look my wife will give me. A little perturbed but mostly amused, it’s the look that says, “Are you still listening or is your mind somewhere else?” “Oh,” I think to myself. “Um… sorry.” My own recognition of my folly is usually accompanied by a slight shoulder shrug as I gesture that I wasn’t paying attention like I thought I was. Silly me. As hard as I try to stay present, I’m not always successful. Perhaps you’ve been there, too.
As Liz and I have regular conversations, she will often say something that sparks a thought that takes me in a slightly different direction than she was intending. The idea is intriguing, and suddenly I am off on a “thought-chain” where one idea leads to another. It just happens that the end of my chain doesn’t connect with hers and I have to forge a link to bring us back together. I’m glad we can make those kinds of connections.
Fortunately in our relationship, I am not alone in this regard. (Grin. It’s nice having something in common. I don’t feel so strange that way.) I may have things I really want to share with my wife only to find out that she isn’t fully engaged either. On any given day, either of us can be preoccupied with other details that keep us from connecting fully with the other. Yes, we may be having the same conversation together, and we both may be listening. However, it’s the specific way that we listen that can make all the difference.
What a wonderful thing it is to have a friend! On a number of occasions this past year I have talked about friendship, conversations, and connections on this blog. If you didn’t know me better, you might think I was referring to social networking like Facebook or Twitter. My gratitude goes far deeper than that. Whether it is my wife, a parent, one of my children, or a very close friend, I treasure the opportunity to truly connect.
This year, more than any other year in my life, I have discovered what a wonderful thing it is to have something unique to share and have a friend whose interest matches my own. It is simply exhilarating! Deep closeness, commonality, and sharing can forge a powerful connection between two people. As I have considered how rewarding this kind of relationship is, I have been more diligent to improve all of my relationships with others. I have tried to find more connection with whoever I am with. Not only has this improved many friendships, it has also made me reconsider the most important relationship in my life.
On more than one occasion, I have found myself ashamed to admit that the private prayer I just offered to God on my knees seemed very familiar. It was so familiar, in fact, that it could almost have been a written prayer – one with a formula where certain things need to be said in a certain order to get a certain result. I almost jest that a number could be assigned to that prayer as though I was placing an order for a combination plate on a dinner menu. Hmm. I’m not sure that meets the intent of why I pray. But it happens. Whether I am tired, indifferent, or distracted by a thought-chain, my chain still does not connect with Father’s and I have to forge a link to bring us back together.
In contrast, there have been times in my life where certain prayers felt more powerful. Because I was in great need, and I tried to be very sincere, it was as though I had access to a VIP hotline that is sure to get results. Those prayers were meaningful. They were deeply close. I felt connected to Father in Heaven, if only by prayer, and I could pour out my heart to him. These are prayers I would consider recommending for my own personal hall of fame. They are prayers that are worth remembering – not the words, but what I felt.
As I compare the most rewarding conversations I have had with those where I am not fully engaged, I have noticed a pattern. When I talk to my wife, a close friend, or with Father in prayer, my ability to feel connected has less to do with outside circumstances and more to do with the combined intent of myself and the person I am talking with. I don’t think my hall of fame conversations need to be left to chance or serendipity. More often than not, they are a matter of choice.
The car that I currently drive has an automatic transmission. While I learned to drive with a stick shift in a standard car, an automatic has become my standard preference. Switching gears has become so automatic that I hardly think about it, yet I believe it has a good application here. In order to shift, the clutch must be disengaged by pressing the pedal on the floor. Doing so allows for the gears to change. However, if I push on the clutch pedal but never release, then I can’t engage the gears to move and I come to a halt.
When my prayers become so automatic that I am not fully present in mind, it’s as though the clutch is not engaging the gears that allow for a connection that will take me someplace better. Instead, I go through the motions of having a meaningful conversation, but don’t really get anywhere at all. In essence, I offer prayer #18 because it was a good one worth repeating. But unless I really mean it, I get stuck. If I feel that I need help and my prayers are not being answered, this is one of the first places I check.
The Book of Mormon prophet, Moroni, concluded his record with a promise whereby readers might know if the book is truly scripture. He invites all to read it and then promises that God will manifest the truth of it by the power of the Holy Ghost. I believe this to be the right kind of formula for answers to all of our prayers. The key is to “ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ,” and then He will manifest the truth to us. (Moroni 10:3-5) Having faith and being sincere is crucial to the equation, but just as important is the need for real intent – or the intent to receive the answer and follow once it is given.
All too often, my intent becomes apparent by where my heart and mind are directed. If I am talking with my wife, but I am thinking about something else, then it is hard to be turned toward her thoughts in that moment. If I am talking with a friend, but I am not really engaged in what they are saying, it is difficult to make a connection. Where I especially want to be connected is with Father when I pray. I want to feel that my prayers are being heard and will be answered, just as He has promised. God doesn’t change, and He is always listening. He has promised to take care of us and answer us when we are not of little faith. I know that He does, and I feel it most when I turn my heart to Him.
I have a combination lock at home that I use when I go to the local rec center for some exercise. In order to open the lock, I have to know the right combination of turns. A typical combination lock requires you to make several turns to the right to clear the lock of any memory. This is followed by a complete turn to the left and another partial turn to the right. As long as I turn to the right places on the dial, the lock opens.
Like my combination lock, there is a combination of things that are calculated to unlock answers to my prayers. All I need is a sincere heart, real intent, and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. The answers I seek are not restricted. Father is merely protecting His blessings until I have turned my heart towards Him. Once we each turn our hearts to Him, He is willing to give us everything. Also like the lock, there are some changes I have to make in my life that are very minor. Quite often it may be as simple as a decision to focus and listen when Father is trying to speak to me. There are other times that I have to turn and turn and turn until I clear the memory of the lock, or rather, desires that are so strong they override my faith. What is most important is to make a complete turn, which has a slightly different definition in the scriptures.
The Lord has often warned His people against becoming a stiffnecked generation. When we become prideful and determined to do what we want instead of choosing what He asks us to do, we lose any intent we may have had to follow God. We become stubborn and persistent in doing that which will lead us away from Him. While this may sound like it could apply to the most serious of sins, it also has application in our daily communication with our Father.
As we turn to God in prayer, we keep our necks flexible and agile. When we begin each day with prayer, and real intent, the events that follow will have a set direction. The physical direction may vary and meander, but the spiritual direction will become more and more rigid on the will of our Father. By turning our hearts fully, it matters less how much we turn than where we turn. A complete turn is learning to trust Him completely. We then turn our lives over to him along with our faith and our sacrifices.
Moses also taught the ancient Israelites of the importance of turning to God. He warned them that they would be scattered because they were already scattered in their hearts and in their will to serve the one true God. But, he also told them that they would be gathered if they would turn completely to Him.
“But if… thou shalt seek the Lord thy God, thou shalt find him, if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul. When thou are in tribulation, and all these things are come upon thee, even in the latter days, if thou turn to the Lord thy God, and shalt be obedient unto his voice; (For the Lord thy God is a merciful God;) he will not forsake thee, neither destroy thee, nor forget the covenant of thy fathers which he sware unto them. (Deuteronomy 4:29-31)
Seeking the Lord starts with prayer. Completely turning to him requires that we are engaged in conversation to learn His will. If we intend to live with Him again, then we should have real intent to start following Him now, as much as is within our ability.
As I think about beautiful conversations I have had this year that have been deep and meaningful, where I felt very connected to a friend, I begin to wish that every conversation were that way. If I truly believe that Father is waiting for me to initiate such a conversation with Him so He can speak to me as a friend, I have to ask, “What am I waiting for? Why don’t I make every prayer qualify for my own personal hall of fame?” Even if I am not sure how to develop such a close friendship with Him, he has already given the promise. If we seek Him, we will find Him.
If our hearts have not yet turned, we can at least start turning. An effort to do so will demonstrate real intent. Then, when we arrive at the first correct step, we can make another turn. A combination of complete turns to God will eventually unlock the answers to prayer that we seek and enable us to make a deeper connection with Father as a friend.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
As Liz and I have regular conversations, she will often say something that sparks a thought that takes me in a slightly different direction than she was intending. The idea is intriguing, and suddenly I am off on a “thought-chain” where one idea leads to another. It just happens that the end of my chain doesn’t connect with hers and I have to forge a link to bring us back together. I’m glad we can make those kinds of connections.
Fortunately in our relationship, I am not alone in this regard. (Grin. It’s nice having something in common. I don’t feel so strange that way.) I may have things I really want to share with my wife only to find out that she isn’t fully engaged either. On any given day, either of us can be preoccupied with other details that keep us from connecting fully with the other. Yes, we may be having the same conversation together, and we both may be listening. However, it’s the specific way that we listen that can make all the difference.
What a wonderful thing it is to have a friend! On a number of occasions this past year I have talked about friendship, conversations, and connections on this blog. If you didn’t know me better, you might think I was referring to social networking like Facebook or Twitter. My gratitude goes far deeper than that. Whether it is my wife, a parent, one of my children, or a very close friend, I treasure the opportunity to truly connect.
This year, more than any other year in my life, I have discovered what a wonderful thing it is to have something unique to share and have a friend whose interest matches my own. It is simply exhilarating! Deep closeness, commonality, and sharing can forge a powerful connection between two people. As I have considered how rewarding this kind of relationship is, I have been more diligent to improve all of my relationships with others. I have tried to find more connection with whoever I am with. Not only has this improved many friendships, it has also made me reconsider the most important relationship in my life.
On more than one occasion, I have found myself ashamed to admit that the private prayer I just offered to God on my knees seemed very familiar. It was so familiar, in fact, that it could almost have been a written prayer – one with a formula where certain things need to be said in a certain order to get a certain result. I almost jest that a number could be assigned to that prayer as though I was placing an order for a combination plate on a dinner menu. Hmm. I’m not sure that meets the intent of why I pray. But it happens. Whether I am tired, indifferent, or distracted by a thought-chain, my chain still does not connect with Father’s and I have to forge a link to bring us back together.
In contrast, there have been times in my life where certain prayers felt more powerful. Because I was in great need, and I tried to be very sincere, it was as though I had access to a VIP hotline that is sure to get results. Those prayers were meaningful. They were deeply close. I felt connected to Father in Heaven, if only by prayer, and I could pour out my heart to him. These are prayers I would consider recommending for my own personal hall of fame. They are prayers that are worth remembering – not the words, but what I felt.
As I compare the most rewarding conversations I have had with those where I am not fully engaged, I have noticed a pattern. When I talk to my wife, a close friend, or with Father in prayer, my ability to feel connected has less to do with outside circumstances and more to do with the combined intent of myself and the person I am talking with. I don’t think my hall of fame conversations need to be left to chance or serendipity. More often than not, they are a matter of choice.
The car that I currently drive has an automatic transmission. While I learned to drive with a stick shift in a standard car, an automatic has become my standard preference. Switching gears has become so automatic that I hardly think about it, yet I believe it has a good application here. In order to shift, the clutch must be disengaged by pressing the pedal on the floor. Doing so allows for the gears to change. However, if I push on the clutch pedal but never release, then I can’t engage the gears to move and I come to a halt.
When my prayers become so automatic that I am not fully present in mind, it’s as though the clutch is not engaging the gears that allow for a connection that will take me someplace better. Instead, I go through the motions of having a meaningful conversation, but don’t really get anywhere at all. In essence, I offer prayer #18 because it was a good one worth repeating. But unless I really mean it, I get stuck. If I feel that I need help and my prayers are not being answered, this is one of the first places I check.
The Book of Mormon prophet, Moroni, concluded his record with a promise whereby readers might know if the book is truly scripture. He invites all to read it and then promises that God will manifest the truth of it by the power of the Holy Ghost. I believe this to be the right kind of formula for answers to all of our prayers. The key is to “ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ,” and then He will manifest the truth to us. (Moroni 10:3-5) Having faith and being sincere is crucial to the equation, but just as important is the need for real intent – or the intent to receive the answer and follow once it is given.
All too often, my intent becomes apparent by where my heart and mind are directed. If I am talking with my wife, but I am thinking about something else, then it is hard to be turned toward her thoughts in that moment. If I am talking with a friend, but I am not really engaged in what they are saying, it is difficult to make a connection. Where I especially want to be connected is with Father when I pray. I want to feel that my prayers are being heard and will be answered, just as He has promised. God doesn’t change, and He is always listening. He has promised to take care of us and answer us when we are not of little faith. I know that He does, and I feel it most when I turn my heart to Him.
I have a combination lock at home that I use when I go to the local rec center for some exercise. In order to open the lock, I have to know the right combination of turns. A typical combination lock requires you to make several turns to the right to clear the lock of any memory. This is followed by a complete turn to the left and another partial turn to the right. As long as I turn to the right places on the dial, the lock opens.
Like my combination lock, there is a combination of things that are calculated to unlock answers to my prayers. All I need is a sincere heart, real intent, and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. The answers I seek are not restricted. Father is merely protecting His blessings until I have turned my heart towards Him. Once we each turn our hearts to Him, He is willing to give us everything. Also like the lock, there are some changes I have to make in my life that are very minor. Quite often it may be as simple as a decision to focus and listen when Father is trying to speak to me. There are other times that I have to turn and turn and turn until I clear the memory of the lock, or rather, desires that are so strong they override my faith. What is most important is to make a complete turn, which has a slightly different definition in the scriptures.
The Lord has often warned His people against becoming a stiffnecked generation. When we become prideful and determined to do what we want instead of choosing what He asks us to do, we lose any intent we may have had to follow God. We become stubborn and persistent in doing that which will lead us away from Him. While this may sound like it could apply to the most serious of sins, it also has application in our daily communication with our Father.
As we turn to God in prayer, we keep our necks flexible and agile. When we begin each day with prayer, and real intent, the events that follow will have a set direction. The physical direction may vary and meander, but the spiritual direction will become more and more rigid on the will of our Father. By turning our hearts fully, it matters less how much we turn than where we turn. A complete turn is learning to trust Him completely. We then turn our lives over to him along with our faith and our sacrifices.
Moses also taught the ancient Israelites of the importance of turning to God. He warned them that they would be scattered because they were already scattered in their hearts and in their will to serve the one true God. But, he also told them that they would be gathered if they would turn completely to Him.
“But if… thou shalt seek the Lord thy God, thou shalt find him, if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul. When thou are in tribulation, and all these things are come upon thee, even in the latter days, if thou turn to the Lord thy God, and shalt be obedient unto his voice; (For the Lord thy God is a merciful God;) he will not forsake thee, neither destroy thee, nor forget the covenant of thy fathers which he sware unto them. (Deuteronomy 4:29-31)
Seeking the Lord starts with prayer. Completely turning to him requires that we are engaged in conversation to learn His will. If we intend to live with Him again, then we should have real intent to start following Him now, as much as is within our ability.
As I think about beautiful conversations I have had this year that have been deep and meaningful, where I felt very connected to a friend, I begin to wish that every conversation were that way. If I truly believe that Father is waiting for me to initiate such a conversation with Him so He can speak to me as a friend, I have to ask, “What am I waiting for? Why don’t I make every prayer qualify for my own personal hall of fame?” Even if I am not sure how to develop such a close friendship with Him, he has already given the promise. If we seek Him, we will find Him.
If our hearts have not yet turned, we can at least start turning. An effort to do so will demonstrate real intent. Then, when we arrive at the first correct step, we can make another turn. A combination of complete turns to God will eventually unlock the answers to prayer that we seek and enable us to make a deeper connection with Father as a friend.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Those that I Care For
The plant that I water wilted so slightly,
Though rooted to stones in the pot where it sits.
Occasionally I worry I’ll water too much,
Then starve the leaves by not sparing enough.
With countenance fallen, I see my misdeed,
As leaves sag with want of voice and touch.
Soil that is rich, but dry and parched,
Has not the means to yield its full strength.
Oft it is I, and not my plant, that wilts,
Yearning for water and light for my stalks.
As my heart turns to watering, my eyes soon follow,
Full of gratitude for those who water my ground.
Sturdier the plant, and more tender the leaves
That learn to depend on a caring source.
With light from above and water in my hand
Gently I’ll watch over those that I care for.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Though rooted to stones in the pot where it sits.
Occasionally I worry I’ll water too much,
Then starve the leaves by not sparing enough.
With countenance fallen, I see my misdeed,
As leaves sag with want of voice and touch.
Soil that is rich, but dry and parched,
Has not the means to yield its full strength.
Oft it is I, and not my plant, that wilts,
Yearning for water and light for my stalks.
As my heart turns to watering, my eyes soon follow,
Full of gratitude for those who water my ground.
Sturdier the plant, and more tender the leaves
That learn to depend on a caring source.
With light from above and water in my hand
Gently I’ll watch over those that I care for.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Monday, October 25, 2010
I'm a Mormon
Hi, I’m John McConkie
I’m a designer, an architect, a reader, a runner, and a family guy. I’m a Mormon.
About Me
Oh, and I also love deep conversations, music, philosophy, thinking, psychology, writing, poetry, sketching, painting, hiking, camping, cycling, and… the list goes on and on. I think there is an endless stream of good things to experience in life – things that are meaningful and fascinating. If you ever feel that you have so many interests that you have to pare things down, then you and I have something in common.
I love to live life with passion and intensity! I like to get the most out of life – enjoy it for all it’s worth. I would rather miss out on a little sleep than miss an opportunity that might not come around again. More than that, I love to share those things that have meaning with a friend. Having something in common like that really strengthens relationships, especially those that matter most. I don’t know what I would do without my family and close friends – people who care and stand by me in any circumstance, even when life isn’t so inspiring.
My favorite person to share with is my beautiful wife. She and I have been married for sixteen years and we have a family of three boys and two girls. They are a lot of work, but a LOT of fun! We have great times together. There is never a dull moment at our house, not unless everyone is gone. We may not have a perfect marriage, or a perfect family, but we definitely have something special that is worth cherishing!
For most of my life I have lived in Utah and I love it! I love the mountains and prairies, the beautiful snow, the deep forests, and the red rock deserts. Besides Utah, I have spent a lot of time living in California, too. It’s my other home. Give me a beach with a view of the ocean and I’m more than content. Most of the time, however, home is more of an attitude. When I am surrounded by my favorite people in the world, I can’t think of a better place to call home than that.
Why I am a Mormon
I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t acknowledge that I am a Mormon because of my family, at least to start with. Many of my family lines have been members of the church for eight generations and were among the pioneers who first came by wagon to settle the west. All the stories you may have heard about the Mormons coming west, well, that was them. They had a lot of faith. They left a lot behind, and they also left me a rich heritage of courage and determination that has shaped who I am. Yet that isn’t enough to for me to be a Mormon. You see, I’m big on experience, especially experiencing things for myself.
I’m a Mormon because of my own faith and what I have learned. I’m not a skeptic, but I tend to question everything. I want to know why, and I want to know for myself. Taking things on “good faith” isn’t enough for me. I want my own faith. I want to believe in something because it is right, and not just because someone else said so.
When I was younger – when I was in high school, in fact – I had an experience that changed me, or at least changed the way I thought about spiritual things. I had been taught to read the scriptures as a way to feel closer to God. I had read in the Old and New Testaments, and the Book of Mormon, and I believed they were true. I knew they were a record of God’s dealings with His children, but I hadn’t quite internalized them yet. That’s when things changed.
On one occasion, I was reading in the Book of Mormon when I felt something different. It wasn’t dramatic, and I didn’t see angels, but I felt something. It was while I was reading the story of a young man named Nephi. He was a good role model, but he seemed a little out of reach, like he was something that I couldn’t be. Nephi always seemed to be obedient. He wasn’t rebellious and he didn’t complain. Instead, he did his best to learn what God wanted him to do and then he did it, or so I thought.
I gained a new appreciation for Nephi, when I came to the part where he mentioned his weaknesses. I was shocked. Instead of thinking that he was close to perfect, I listened to him express his frustrations about temptations and how they could so easily overwhelm him. Suddenly I realized that this role model of a prophet was more like me than I had thought. I could relate, and that started a change. A small feeling of hope began to grow. That is when I felt something else.
As I continued to read, I experienced a comforting feeling that just felt good. It was peaceful yet inspiring and energizing. It felt new but familiar at the same time. Looking back, I believe it was something I had felt before but hadn’t quite recognized. That something was the witness of the Holy Ghost. I remember the impression coming to my mind that the words I had just read were true. The account wasn’t just a story. It was a true experience of someone who wasn’t that different from me. I felt like I had just made a friend because we shared something in common and he had given me encouragement.
This instance led me to other experiences in the scriptures where I learned more about the ministry of Jesus Christ in the New Testament. Instead of just reading, I internalized it. I studied the promises made to ancient prophets in the Old Testament, and I read about the appearance of Jesus Christ to the ancient people on this continent after His resurrection. Again and again I had that same confirming feeling that what I read was true. When I experienced this feeling, I felt connected with God – that somehow He was able to communicate with me through that comforting feeling to let me know he was pleased with what I was doing.
This feeling of closeness to God is the reason why I am a Mormon. When I learn something new and I get that feeling, I know I am heading in the right direction. I may be far from perfect, but that feeling gives me confidence. It also gives me a greater reason to have faith and make good choices when things are hard. The more I have learned about my own faith, the more I have felt that comforting feeling.
I know God lives, and I know He will speak to us through the feelings of the Holy Spirit. I Know Jesus Christ is our Savior and Redeemer. Because of what I have felt, I know the Book of Mormon is true, and I know the Bible is true. This feeling of peace and comfort guides me in everything that I do. I know it is a pattern that God wants for all of His children.
How I Live My Faith
I don’t think my faith needs to be showy, but it should be apparent in how I live each day. For me, it starts with prayer. Because I believe in God, I pray to Him in the morning when I wake up. I kneel down at night, and sometimes I pray while I am I’m driving in my car. Wherever I am, I try not to let my prayers be repetitive. Since God is our Father in Heaven, I try to talk to Him like my father. I express my gratitude for how He has blessed me, and I ask Him for direction. When I do, I feel the influence of the Holy Spirit guide me to make good choices.
In addition to daily prayer, I still try to read in the scriptures every day. Some days it may be just a few verses, and other times I get to study a subject more in depth. As often as I do this with the intent to increase my faith and repent, I feel that connection with God that I felt years ago when I was in high school.
Quite often, praying and reading the scriptures is just a small part of how I live. The real test is how I act during the week when I’m not at church. It shows in the way I treat other people when I am at work. It also shows in the types of things I do when I have spare time. I am happier when I try to live like Jesus did. The gospel of Jesus Christ is so closely woven into everything I do. It has made me a kinder person. I am more patient and less selfish. I feel so much better when I am focusing outward toward others instead of just satisfying my own interests.
Living my faith has made our home a much better place, too. My love for my wife increases as I feel closer to God. When I try to follow Jesus Christ, I feel like a better husband and a better dad. If I can be a greater example, it’s more likely that our kids will try to do the same. This gives us the best chance possible to feel the comforting influence of the Holy Spirit in our home. When all of us feel that influence, we want to be better. We try harder. We have a deeper motivation to forgive each other and we are much, much happier. And to think, it all starts with faith.
Serving in the church gives me another opportunity to live my faith. Each member of a congregation is given a calling, or an opportunity to serve as a teacher, a leader, or some other role that can bless someone else. Quite often I have been given callings where I had no experience in that area beforehand. I have served as a scoutmaster, a choir director, a teacher, and numerous other callings. I have even served as a full-time missionary for two years. Each calling has provided me an opportunity to rely on God for help and become something that I wasn’t before. This has taken faith on my part, but has been well worth it. I have really enjoyed the different callings I have had.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are Mormon Temples Used For?
We consider the temple to be the House of the Lord. It is a special place of worship where members must prepare themselves spiritually in order to enter. It is also a place where we can feel the influence of the Holy Spirit without the distractions of the world.
Inside the temple we learn about God’s plan for His children and what we must do in order to live with Him again. Those who go to the temple do so to make promises to God, called covenants. They promise to be obedient to His commandments as a demonstration of their commitment to Him. In return, God promises His children blessings in this life and in the life to come.
These covenants are made during sacred ceremonies, called ordinances. One example is marriages that are performed not just until death, but for eternity, making it possible for families to be together forever. Without these covenants and ordinances, we cannot receive all the fullest blessings that God has prepared for His children.
While members of the church enter the temple to participate in these sacred ceremonies for themselves, they also return again and again to perform these ordinances vicariously in behalf of those who are deceased but may not have been able to enter a holy temple. For instance, someone who did not have the opportunity to be baptized during their lifetime may have the baptism performed for them so that they can choose whether or not to accept this work done in their behalf. This is the primary reason why members of the church research genealogy and their family history.
The temple happens to be my favorite place on earth. Whenever I need additional guidance in my life, or I desire to be closer to God, I go to the temple to worship and ponder solutions to my problems. When I go to the temple, I feel such a comforting, peaceful feeling that makes it easier for me to think about God and my relationship with Him. I love how I feel when I worship in the temple.
Personal Stories
Why/How do you share the gospel with your friends?
I love to share what I have learned with anyone who is interested. I have been given so many blessings by God, and I have been blessed by so many others who have been kind to me, I hope I can do something to share what I have been given. Most often this happens in conversation. "Hey, guess what happened to me? I just discovered the coolest thing! Would you like to come with me? I think you would enjoy this." The best way to share things that matter most is to share it with a friend.
For more information about Mormons and what they believe, or if you would like to create your own profile on why you are a Mormon, visit:
http://www.mormon.org/
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
I’m a designer, an architect, a reader, a runner, and a family guy. I’m a Mormon.
About Me
Oh, and I also love deep conversations, music, philosophy, thinking, psychology, writing, poetry, sketching, painting, hiking, camping, cycling, and… the list goes on and on. I think there is an endless stream of good things to experience in life – things that are meaningful and fascinating. If you ever feel that you have so many interests that you have to pare things down, then you and I have something in common.
I love to live life with passion and intensity! I like to get the most out of life – enjoy it for all it’s worth. I would rather miss out on a little sleep than miss an opportunity that might not come around again. More than that, I love to share those things that have meaning with a friend. Having something in common like that really strengthens relationships, especially those that matter most. I don’t know what I would do without my family and close friends – people who care and stand by me in any circumstance, even when life isn’t so inspiring.
My favorite person to share with is my beautiful wife. She and I have been married for sixteen years and we have a family of three boys and two girls. They are a lot of work, but a LOT of fun! We have great times together. There is never a dull moment at our house, not unless everyone is gone. We may not have a perfect marriage, or a perfect family, but we definitely have something special that is worth cherishing!
For most of my life I have lived in Utah and I love it! I love the mountains and prairies, the beautiful snow, the deep forests, and the red rock deserts. Besides Utah, I have spent a lot of time living in California, too. It’s my other home. Give me a beach with a view of the ocean and I’m more than content. Most of the time, however, home is more of an attitude. When I am surrounded by my favorite people in the world, I can’t think of a better place to call home than that.
Why I am a Mormon
I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t acknowledge that I am a Mormon because of my family, at least to start with. Many of my family lines have been members of the church for eight generations and were among the pioneers who first came by wagon to settle the west. All the stories you may have heard about the Mormons coming west, well, that was them. They had a lot of faith. They left a lot behind, and they also left me a rich heritage of courage and determination that has shaped who I am. Yet that isn’t enough to for me to be a Mormon. You see, I’m big on experience, especially experiencing things for myself.
I’m a Mormon because of my own faith and what I have learned. I’m not a skeptic, but I tend to question everything. I want to know why, and I want to know for myself. Taking things on “good faith” isn’t enough for me. I want my own faith. I want to believe in something because it is right, and not just because someone else said so.
When I was younger – when I was in high school, in fact – I had an experience that changed me, or at least changed the way I thought about spiritual things. I had been taught to read the scriptures as a way to feel closer to God. I had read in the Old and New Testaments, and the Book of Mormon, and I believed they were true. I knew they were a record of God’s dealings with His children, but I hadn’t quite internalized them yet. That’s when things changed.
On one occasion, I was reading in the Book of Mormon when I felt something different. It wasn’t dramatic, and I didn’t see angels, but I felt something. It was while I was reading the story of a young man named Nephi. He was a good role model, but he seemed a little out of reach, like he was something that I couldn’t be. Nephi always seemed to be obedient. He wasn’t rebellious and he didn’t complain. Instead, he did his best to learn what God wanted him to do and then he did it, or so I thought.
I gained a new appreciation for Nephi, when I came to the part where he mentioned his weaknesses. I was shocked. Instead of thinking that he was close to perfect, I listened to him express his frustrations about temptations and how they could so easily overwhelm him. Suddenly I realized that this role model of a prophet was more like me than I had thought. I could relate, and that started a change. A small feeling of hope began to grow. That is when I felt something else.
As I continued to read, I experienced a comforting feeling that just felt good. It was peaceful yet inspiring and energizing. It felt new but familiar at the same time. Looking back, I believe it was something I had felt before but hadn’t quite recognized. That something was the witness of the Holy Ghost. I remember the impression coming to my mind that the words I had just read were true. The account wasn’t just a story. It was a true experience of someone who wasn’t that different from me. I felt like I had just made a friend because we shared something in common and he had given me encouragement.
This instance led me to other experiences in the scriptures where I learned more about the ministry of Jesus Christ in the New Testament. Instead of just reading, I internalized it. I studied the promises made to ancient prophets in the Old Testament, and I read about the appearance of Jesus Christ to the ancient people on this continent after His resurrection. Again and again I had that same confirming feeling that what I read was true. When I experienced this feeling, I felt connected with God – that somehow He was able to communicate with me through that comforting feeling to let me know he was pleased with what I was doing.
This feeling of closeness to God is the reason why I am a Mormon. When I learn something new and I get that feeling, I know I am heading in the right direction. I may be far from perfect, but that feeling gives me confidence. It also gives me a greater reason to have faith and make good choices when things are hard. The more I have learned about my own faith, the more I have felt that comforting feeling.
I know God lives, and I know He will speak to us through the feelings of the Holy Spirit. I Know Jesus Christ is our Savior and Redeemer. Because of what I have felt, I know the Book of Mormon is true, and I know the Bible is true. This feeling of peace and comfort guides me in everything that I do. I know it is a pattern that God wants for all of His children.
How I Live My Faith
I don’t think my faith needs to be showy, but it should be apparent in how I live each day. For me, it starts with prayer. Because I believe in God, I pray to Him in the morning when I wake up. I kneel down at night, and sometimes I pray while I am I’m driving in my car. Wherever I am, I try not to let my prayers be repetitive. Since God is our Father in Heaven, I try to talk to Him like my father. I express my gratitude for how He has blessed me, and I ask Him for direction. When I do, I feel the influence of the Holy Spirit guide me to make good choices.
In addition to daily prayer, I still try to read in the scriptures every day. Some days it may be just a few verses, and other times I get to study a subject more in depth. As often as I do this with the intent to increase my faith and repent, I feel that connection with God that I felt years ago when I was in high school.
Quite often, praying and reading the scriptures is just a small part of how I live. The real test is how I act during the week when I’m not at church. It shows in the way I treat other people when I am at work. It also shows in the types of things I do when I have spare time. I am happier when I try to live like Jesus did. The gospel of Jesus Christ is so closely woven into everything I do. It has made me a kinder person. I am more patient and less selfish. I feel so much better when I am focusing outward toward others instead of just satisfying my own interests.
Living my faith has made our home a much better place, too. My love for my wife increases as I feel closer to God. When I try to follow Jesus Christ, I feel like a better husband and a better dad. If I can be a greater example, it’s more likely that our kids will try to do the same. This gives us the best chance possible to feel the comforting influence of the Holy Spirit in our home. When all of us feel that influence, we want to be better. We try harder. We have a deeper motivation to forgive each other and we are much, much happier. And to think, it all starts with faith.
Serving in the church gives me another opportunity to live my faith. Each member of a congregation is given a calling, or an opportunity to serve as a teacher, a leader, or some other role that can bless someone else. Quite often I have been given callings where I had no experience in that area beforehand. I have served as a scoutmaster, a choir director, a teacher, and numerous other callings. I have even served as a full-time missionary for two years. Each calling has provided me an opportunity to rely on God for help and become something that I wasn’t before. This has taken faith on my part, but has been well worth it. I have really enjoyed the different callings I have had.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are Mormon Temples Used For?
We consider the temple to be the House of the Lord. It is a special place of worship where members must prepare themselves spiritually in order to enter. It is also a place where we can feel the influence of the Holy Spirit without the distractions of the world.
Inside the temple we learn about God’s plan for His children and what we must do in order to live with Him again. Those who go to the temple do so to make promises to God, called covenants. They promise to be obedient to His commandments as a demonstration of their commitment to Him. In return, God promises His children blessings in this life and in the life to come.
These covenants are made during sacred ceremonies, called ordinances. One example is marriages that are performed not just until death, but for eternity, making it possible for families to be together forever. Without these covenants and ordinances, we cannot receive all the fullest blessings that God has prepared for His children.
While members of the church enter the temple to participate in these sacred ceremonies for themselves, they also return again and again to perform these ordinances vicariously in behalf of those who are deceased but may not have been able to enter a holy temple. For instance, someone who did not have the opportunity to be baptized during their lifetime may have the baptism performed for them so that they can choose whether or not to accept this work done in their behalf. This is the primary reason why members of the church research genealogy and their family history.
The temple happens to be my favorite place on earth. Whenever I need additional guidance in my life, or I desire to be closer to God, I go to the temple to worship and ponder solutions to my problems. When I go to the temple, I feel such a comforting, peaceful feeling that makes it easier for me to think about God and my relationship with Him. I love how I feel when I worship in the temple.
Personal Stories
Why/How do you share the gospel with your friends?
I love to share what I have learned with anyone who is interested. I have been given so many blessings by God, and I have been blessed by so many others who have been kind to me, I hope I can do something to share what I have been given. Most often this happens in conversation. "Hey, guess what happened to me? I just discovered the coolest thing! Would you like to come with me? I think you would enjoy this." The best way to share things that matter most is to share it with a friend.
For more information about Mormons and what they believe, or if you would like to create your own profile on why you are a Mormon, visit:
http://www.mormon.org/
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Voices
Mindswept with noise and distraction,
Ubiquitous sounds that permeate and tangle my thoughts,
I savor the unique familiarity that calls my name
With resonant feeling,
Opening doors to things I once felt.
Today, I retrieve and gather
The seeming remnants of purpose that span forever,
Spoken with a soft and gentle voice,
A constant presence,
To find answers of hope and clarity.
Intently I listen to calming words,
Attempting to cut through the ever present raucous
That shrouds my understanding
In order to see
Things as they really are.
There is elegant beauty about the voice
Contrasting the sharp emptiness of what I know not
With understanding that lightly distills
On heart and soul,
Leaving lasting impressions.
Whether the voice of a dear friend, servant or Master,
I cherish the conversations that repeat greater meanings
Each in like pattern of that most familiar,
Still and small,
Voices within a voice.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Ubiquitous sounds that permeate and tangle my thoughts,
I savor the unique familiarity that calls my name
With resonant feeling,
Opening doors to things I once felt.
Today, I retrieve and gather
The seeming remnants of purpose that span forever,
Spoken with a soft and gentle voice,
A constant presence,
To find answers of hope and clarity.
Intently I listen to calming words,
Attempting to cut through the ever present raucous
That shrouds my understanding
In order to see
Things as they really are.
There is elegant beauty about the voice
Contrasting the sharp emptiness of what I know not
With understanding that lightly distills
On heart and soul,
Leaving lasting impressions.
Whether the voice of a dear friend, servant or Master,
I cherish the conversations that repeat greater meanings
Each in like pattern of that most familiar,
Still and small,
Voices within a voice.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Pointing the Way
I think she was an angel, just a different sort. The woman had beautiful white hair and she was dressed completely in white to match. Were it not for the fact that I had just arrived at the temple, and that this is not an uncommon experience there, she might have given me enough reason to think she was a heavenly messenger. Instead, her life is still grounded by mortality and a desire to serve others.
Upon my entering the Salt Lake Temple, the woman in white greeted me. She stood waiting to point the way for me to go, wanting to make sure that my experience was as pleasant as possible. Though I have been to the temple many, many times and am quite familiar with finding my way, her presence provided a good reminder of what a difference one person can make in the experience of another. As I approached, she smiled and said hello. She made me feel welcome.
There are many who go to the temple for the first time, either to receive their own endowment, or because they have come from a far distance to visit a particular temple. Even in a place that is as holy and beautiful as a temple, one can feel a little disconcerted if he or she is not sure what to do or where to go. You may know that you are in the right place at the right time, but beyond that you might ask, “Now what?”
On any given visit to the temple, I may meet six or seven temple workers who are there just to greet me at various points. I have thought about how different my experience would be if they were not there. What would it feel like to be greeted by signs instead of a person? Would I feel more like a stranger in the Lord’s Holy House? Because the temple is the House of the Lord, signs are not enough. A house suggests hospitality. It is a place for family, friends, and warm welcomes. A home is a place of belonging.
As children of our Father in Heaven, we have all left our heavenly home for a time with the expectation of returning. In order to go back, we are required to demonstrate to Him that we really do want to – that we are willing to do anything to get there. While we are mere strangers here, this earth is intended to be our temporary home until we can again enter the presence of the Lord. It is the right place, and this is the right time to be tested. Though this is by design, signs from heaven may not be sufficient to make us feel welcome and comfortable for this earthly home that God has prepared for us. Someone who cares, standing at the crossroads of life’s decisions, can make all the difference in helping a fellow brother or sister to feel completely welcome.
Throughout my life there have been many individuals who have stood at the crossroads of my decisions, ready to greet me and offer some direction.
They have provided comfort just when it was needed most. Their experience has provided a sense of familiarity that I could not get on my own. Throughout my life I have relied heavily on my parents and family. My wife has supported me unlike anyone else in the world and has provided a spring of hope and encouragement. Close friends have been an invaluable blessing to me. At times when I have felt weakest, I have become much stronger as I have learned to depend on them. Those who are closest to me have greeted me with their hearts and have shaped who I have become. Without them, this life would not even closely resemble home.
There is great power in presence, and not just physical presence, but presence of heart and mind. Most often when I am going through a difficult change in my life, a friend may not be able to take the difficulty away. Doing so may actually defeat the purpose of being here on earth. The presence of a friend, however, seems to distribute the load that I carry in a way that is more bearable. It helps me to feel that I am not alone and allows me to focus on what I am supposed to learn instead of the difficulty of the moment.
Another presence that has shaped my decisions is that of the Holy Ghost. Similarly, the Holy Ghost won’t take away my challenges, but He will bring me comfort. His presence strengthens me. It inspires me to do great things. He helps me to believe that I can, and then He reminds me that I did, so I will have the faith to do it again.
Some of the most influential moments in my life have come when I have experienced the combined presence of those pointing the way – when I feel the warmth of those who are closest to me along with the presence of the Holy Ghost. The presence of God seems to cement any relationship. It amplifies and enriches. If a friend can do much to bring comfort, then a friend who brings the spirit with them can work miracles, and all just because of presence.
In life there are individuals, and even organizations, that are willing to point a direction, but they point the wrong way. Instead of pointing towards the happiness that comes from restraint and discipline, they are busy directing traffic towards selfish motives and gainful employment for the adversary. Occasionally, this comes from those who are well-intended and are not meaning to distract me. As comforting as it is to have the presence of friends, I am quick to see what friends they bring with them. Do they bring the spirit with them? Do they take the Holy Spirit as their guide? While a friend may not be able to receive revelation for me, I can judge the power of their presence by what I feel, and by how much I feel the power of the Holy Ghost.
There are individuals who do have the authority to receive revelation for me. I will never forget that my parents will always have that stewardship, and that I will do well to honor them in righteousness. Additionally, local priesthood leaders who hold priesthood keys have been called of God to guide me and point the way. I honor and respect them as I do my own parents. While neither my leaders nor my parents are perfect, I can judge the power of their presence by what I feel.
In a week from now, I will have the opportunity to be taught by other friends, most of whom I have not met. I call them friends because I feel they sincerely have my personal interests at heart. I have found them to be unwavering in their efforts to lead me to faith in Jesus Christ. They have been diligent in helping me to return to my home with Father. They are consistent in helping me to feel the Spirit of the Lord. These friends provide me good counsel and direction that enable me to make good decisions.
God speaks to living prophets today. They hear His voice in much the same way I do when I receive answers to my prayers. They hear His voice through the gentle promptings of the Holy Ghost. The presence of the comforter directs them to teach the things that Father wants us to be taught. That presence also confirms the truth of what we hear in our hearts.
The prophet Nephi taught that the will of God is “manifest unto the prophet by the voice of the Spirit; for by the Spirit are all things made known unto the prophets, which shall come upon the children of men according to the flesh… both temporal and spiritual….” (1 Nephi 22:2-3) Further he taught, “when a man speaketh by the power of the Holy Ghost the power of the Holy Ghost carrieth it unto the hearts of the children of men.” (2 Nephi 33:1)
The Lord also revealed to Joseph Smith, “Verily I say unto you, he that is ordained of me and sent forth to preach the word of truth by the Comforter, in the Spirit of truth, doth he preach it by the Spirit of truth or some other way? And if it be by some other way it is not of God. Therefore, why is it that ye cannot understand and know, that he that receiveth the word by the Spirit of truth receiveth it as it is preached by the Spirit of truth? Wherefore, he that preacheth and he that receiveth, understand one another, and both are edified and rejoice together.” (Doctrine & Covenants 50:17-22)
What a blessing it is to receive personal revelation and learn how to communicate with God. What a gift it is to receive the Holy Ghost by receiving revelation.
During the times where we still feel alone, Father places others in our lives who can stand at the crossroads of difficult experiences. He provides family and friends who can help point the way. Their presence combined with the presence of the Holy Ghost can restore our faith and secure our hope. The signs of the second coming are increasing, but they may not be sufficient to bring us all the comfort we need. It is when I put my faith in those whom God has called to testify to His children that I find lasting peace. As I listen and affirm my willingness to yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, I find the strength to do the most difficult things. It is after those moments of trial, whether clear or ambiguous, that the confirming feeling of peace settles in my heart that Jesus lives and He will come again.
If you have not had a chance to listen to the words of living prophets and apostles, I invite you to join with me this next weekend in the General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to hear their words and judge for yourself the direction that they point. If you have listened to them before, then I invite you to listen again and again, and seek the confirming voice of the Holy Spirit that what they say is true.
I add my witness that God speaks to His children today. I know His servants the prophets speak His will. These are heavenly messengers, grounded to mortality through their service. As I listen to the Holy Spirit and follow, there is a peace that fills my heart unlike any other.
I am grateful for family, friends, and dearest loved ones who have been there for me during difficult times. They are the angels in my life who have pointed the way. You know who you are. Thank you!
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Upon my entering the Salt Lake Temple, the woman in white greeted me. She stood waiting to point the way for me to go, wanting to make sure that my experience was as pleasant as possible. Though I have been to the temple many, many times and am quite familiar with finding my way, her presence provided a good reminder of what a difference one person can make in the experience of another. As I approached, she smiled and said hello. She made me feel welcome.
There are many who go to the temple for the first time, either to receive their own endowment, or because they have come from a far distance to visit a particular temple. Even in a place that is as holy and beautiful as a temple, one can feel a little disconcerted if he or she is not sure what to do or where to go. You may know that you are in the right place at the right time, but beyond that you might ask, “Now what?”
On any given visit to the temple, I may meet six or seven temple workers who are there just to greet me at various points. I have thought about how different my experience would be if they were not there. What would it feel like to be greeted by signs instead of a person? Would I feel more like a stranger in the Lord’s Holy House? Because the temple is the House of the Lord, signs are not enough. A house suggests hospitality. It is a place for family, friends, and warm welcomes. A home is a place of belonging.
As children of our Father in Heaven, we have all left our heavenly home for a time with the expectation of returning. In order to go back, we are required to demonstrate to Him that we really do want to – that we are willing to do anything to get there. While we are mere strangers here, this earth is intended to be our temporary home until we can again enter the presence of the Lord. It is the right place, and this is the right time to be tested. Though this is by design, signs from heaven may not be sufficient to make us feel welcome and comfortable for this earthly home that God has prepared for us. Someone who cares, standing at the crossroads of life’s decisions, can make all the difference in helping a fellow brother or sister to feel completely welcome.
Throughout my life there have been many individuals who have stood at the crossroads of my decisions, ready to greet me and offer some direction.
They have provided comfort just when it was needed most. Their experience has provided a sense of familiarity that I could not get on my own. Throughout my life I have relied heavily on my parents and family. My wife has supported me unlike anyone else in the world and has provided a spring of hope and encouragement. Close friends have been an invaluable blessing to me. At times when I have felt weakest, I have become much stronger as I have learned to depend on them. Those who are closest to me have greeted me with their hearts and have shaped who I have become. Without them, this life would not even closely resemble home.
There is great power in presence, and not just physical presence, but presence of heart and mind. Most often when I am going through a difficult change in my life, a friend may not be able to take the difficulty away. Doing so may actually defeat the purpose of being here on earth. The presence of a friend, however, seems to distribute the load that I carry in a way that is more bearable. It helps me to feel that I am not alone and allows me to focus on what I am supposed to learn instead of the difficulty of the moment.
Another presence that has shaped my decisions is that of the Holy Ghost. Similarly, the Holy Ghost won’t take away my challenges, but He will bring me comfort. His presence strengthens me. It inspires me to do great things. He helps me to believe that I can, and then He reminds me that I did, so I will have the faith to do it again.
Some of the most influential moments in my life have come when I have experienced the combined presence of those pointing the way – when I feel the warmth of those who are closest to me along with the presence of the Holy Ghost. The presence of God seems to cement any relationship. It amplifies and enriches. If a friend can do much to bring comfort, then a friend who brings the spirit with them can work miracles, and all just because of presence.
In life there are individuals, and even organizations, that are willing to point a direction, but they point the wrong way. Instead of pointing towards the happiness that comes from restraint and discipline, they are busy directing traffic towards selfish motives and gainful employment for the adversary. Occasionally, this comes from those who are well-intended and are not meaning to distract me. As comforting as it is to have the presence of friends, I am quick to see what friends they bring with them. Do they bring the spirit with them? Do they take the Holy Spirit as their guide? While a friend may not be able to receive revelation for me, I can judge the power of their presence by what I feel, and by how much I feel the power of the Holy Ghost.
There are individuals who do have the authority to receive revelation for me. I will never forget that my parents will always have that stewardship, and that I will do well to honor them in righteousness. Additionally, local priesthood leaders who hold priesthood keys have been called of God to guide me and point the way. I honor and respect them as I do my own parents. While neither my leaders nor my parents are perfect, I can judge the power of their presence by what I feel.
In a week from now, I will have the opportunity to be taught by other friends, most of whom I have not met. I call them friends because I feel they sincerely have my personal interests at heart. I have found them to be unwavering in their efforts to lead me to faith in Jesus Christ. They have been diligent in helping me to return to my home with Father. They are consistent in helping me to feel the Spirit of the Lord. These friends provide me good counsel and direction that enable me to make good decisions.
God speaks to living prophets today. They hear His voice in much the same way I do when I receive answers to my prayers. They hear His voice through the gentle promptings of the Holy Ghost. The presence of the comforter directs them to teach the things that Father wants us to be taught. That presence also confirms the truth of what we hear in our hearts.
The prophet Nephi taught that the will of God is “manifest unto the prophet by the voice of the Spirit; for by the Spirit are all things made known unto the prophets, which shall come upon the children of men according to the flesh… both temporal and spiritual….” (1 Nephi 22:2-3) Further he taught, “when a man speaketh by the power of the Holy Ghost the power of the Holy Ghost carrieth it unto the hearts of the children of men.” (2 Nephi 33:1)
The Lord also revealed to Joseph Smith, “Verily I say unto you, he that is ordained of me and sent forth to preach the word of truth by the Comforter, in the Spirit of truth, doth he preach it by the Spirit of truth or some other way? And if it be by some other way it is not of God. Therefore, why is it that ye cannot understand and know, that he that receiveth the word by the Spirit of truth receiveth it as it is preached by the Spirit of truth? Wherefore, he that preacheth and he that receiveth, understand one another, and both are edified and rejoice together.” (Doctrine & Covenants 50:17-22)
What a blessing it is to receive personal revelation and learn how to communicate with God. What a gift it is to receive the Holy Ghost by receiving revelation.
During the times where we still feel alone, Father places others in our lives who can stand at the crossroads of difficult experiences. He provides family and friends who can help point the way. Their presence combined with the presence of the Holy Ghost can restore our faith and secure our hope. The signs of the second coming are increasing, but they may not be sufficient to bring us all the comfort we need. It is when I put my faith in those whom God has called to testify to His children that I find lasting peace. As I listen and affirm my willingness to yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, I find the strength to do the most difficult things. It is after those moments of trial, whether clear or ambiguous, that the confirming feeling of peace settles in my heart that Jesus lives and He will come again.
If you have not had a chance to listen to the words of living prophets and apostles, I invite you to join with me this next weekend in the General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to hear their words and judge for yourself the direction that they point. If you have listened to them before, then I invite you to listen again and again, and seek the confirming voice of the Holy Spirit that what they say is true.
I add my witness that God speaks to His children today. I know His servants the prophets speak His will. These are heavenly messengers, grounded to mortality through their service. As I listen to the Holy Spirit and follow, there is a peace that fills my heart unlike any other.
I am grateful for family, friends, and dearest loved ones who have been there for me during difficult times. They are the angels in my life who have pointed the way. You know who you are. Thank you!
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Someone To Talk To
Having a friend to talk with can be a wonderful gift when you are going through a difficult trial. Quite often, it’s nice just to have someone who will simply listen so you don’t feel alone. Many of life’s difficulties become much easier to bear when there is someone else who is at least aware of what you are going through. Their prayers can make a big difference in helping to bear your burdens.
Just prior to the Savior’s most lonely moments, he met with his beloved apostles for the Last Supper. He knew the magnitude of the burden He would have to bear, and he chose to be with those who were closest to Him. There he called them “friends,” and said, “Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you….” (John 15:14-16) What a beautiful thing it is that Jesus would trust and confide in those who could give Him strength in his trials. I can think of no greater compliment than for the Lord to acknowledge me as His friend. I can only hope that someday I will have lived worthy enough to have such a privilege.
As the evening went on, Jesus described the difficulties that He would shortly face. He also told His apostles the difficulties they would face as His friends. Yet He promised them a gift for loving Him. “And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; Even the Spirit of truth … for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. … Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:16-17, 27) Being a friend to Jesus is not an easy thing. It is sure to be difficult. During times of loneliness when our burdens seem greater than we can bear, I am grateful that He has promised to help us.
Recently, I experienced a difficult trial that weighed heavily on my heart. I felt that I was again riding upon the waves of a raging tempest, and the ups and downs seemed too hard to bear. What seemed worse was that I experienced a moment of ambiguity where I hoped to feel the influence of the Holy Spirit and did not. That influence had not left me, but I didn’t feel the clear direction that I had prayed for. Instead, I felt distance. I also found it very interesting that I did feel the promptings of the Holy Spirit in other matters, just not in that particular one. I believe I was being tested to see what I would do on my own.
I reflected on what Jesus did after the Last Supper as He went with His disciples to the Garden of Gethsemane. There he asked Peter, James, and John to watch and pray with Him. Sadly, in His time of need, they were not able to stay awake. Their own trials were bearing down on them and they could do nothing to help Him. It was in that moment of loneliness that Jesus called upon His Father in prayer and was strengthened by an angel who visited Him. Sometimes, when I need someone to talk to, and it seems there is nowhere else to turn, Father is always waiting to listen. I believe He gives us difficult experiences where no one else seems able to help because it causes us to turn to Him.
Earlier this year, I experienced similar trials where the ups and downs seemed unbearable. At times they felt like a rollercoaster of seismic activity. As that trial seemed to conclude I remember having the impression that the ups and downs of the previous year were just preparing me for another seismic event. I was being prepared for the next lesson. As I experienced a new set of ups and downs, I asked myself, “Is this it? Is this the culminating point of that impression?” I believe so. Remembering the impression didn’t take away the burden, but it did help to see that the Lord’s hand was in it and that I shouldn’t despair.
In the midst of the ups and downs, I found that I had emotional swings where I seemed to feel the spirit very clearly, alternating with moments of doubt and fog. On one particular morning a few weeks ago, there was an amazing thunder storm outside. I usually enjoy a good storm, but this time I felt different. Instead I felt great discouragement and despair. Things seemed very dark. I even felt as though I was encompassed about by the adversary, and I was troubled.
The next day I was still pondering the questions that had been on my mind, hoping for some answers. I ached. Before going to work, I stopped by a nearby cemetery to think and pray. That particular cemetery has been a good place for me to go when I need a few minutes of solitude – a place where I can eliminate distractions. I still felt confused about my direction. At times things seemed so clear, and then they would go foggy and not make as much sense. I was frustrated that I felt so distant from the spirit on this matter, that I was not receiving any revelation. That is when I began to pray.
As I sat in my car, I pled with Father to let me hear His voice again, or rather to have that familiar feeling that I am used to when I communicate with Him. I needed someone to talk to. As I did so, I felt the peace I was seeking return to my heart. I also had a reaffirmation that Father does hear and answer prayers.
I decided to test the pattern for receiving revelation, namely to study an issue out in my mind, come to a decision as to what was right, and then wait for the confirmation of the Holy Spirit. (Doctrine & Covenants 9:8) It is a simple process with many applications. Having faith in Jesus Christ is not just believing that He lived and that He will come again, it also includes having faith that what He said is true – true enough that it will work for me. This is what happened in my circumstance.
Pleading with Father, I asked a few questions and received some real time answers. It wasn’t like an audible voice. It was a very subtle feeling that I can never feel unless I am truly honest with myself and I have intent to learn and follow. The answers came as I asked the questions, tried to think what the correct answers might be, and then waited for the familiar feeling of the spirit to confirm or refute my thoughts.
In order to receive answers to prayer, I believe that the person praying has to believe, or at least have a hope, that Father does hear and answer prayers. He does so line upon line, and precept upon precept. This means that I may not receive the answers that I expect, but He will tell me just enough of what I need to know in order to complete my test.
As I asked my first question, “Am I wrong in my intent?” I thought in my mind that the answer was no. At the same time I felt the confirming peace in my heart that the impression was correct. I would have been uncertain had it not been for the familiarity of that peaceful feeling – a feeling that always comes when the Spirit of the Lord is near.
I then asked my second question, “Is my current course the right direction to continue in?” In my mind I thought yes, which again was confirmed by that peaceful feeling that comes from the Comforter. When I asked my third question, “Will my trial ever change?” I had a different thought that equated to, “John, that’s not for you to know right now. Be patient.” This, too, was accompanied by that familiar feeling. It wasn’t the answer I wanted to hear, but I knew it was right in my heart. It didn’t come in the form of words, but as I felt the meaning in the impression, those were the words that seemed most appropriate to dress the meaning in. As I did so, the Holy Ghost confirmed that the feeling was correct.
Two additional questions were answered for me that helped me to feel better about the moments of clarity I had felt before. When I felt surrounded by fog and despair, it was easy to question those moments of clarity and doubt that my prayers had really been answered. Some of the questions were difficult to ask, because I believed I would get an answer I didn’t want. I did, but I had to know. I needed to feel like I could progress again. There are a lot of things I have wanted in my life, but above all, when I have tried to make the right choice, things have always worked out for the best. Though I didn’t receive all the answers I wanted, and some of the answers were not what I had hoped for, my faith was enlarged by the fact that I needed someone to talk to, and Father heard.
There is a verse of scripture that is very familiar to me, and definitely a foundation for my faith. The apostle James taught, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.” (James 1:5-6)
In order to overcome my own tempest-tossed emotions, I had to stabilize my faith first, and put my trust in God. For me, that meant that I had to be willing to do whatever He wants me to do. If I can be completely honest with myself in that regard, then He can be honest with me.
Not all answers to prayer come instantaneously. Mine came after months of prayer, work, and pondering. Some take more time than others, and usually this has more to do with my own understanding. When I don’t get answers to the questions I ask in prayer, I try to examine why. If God reveals things to us line upon line, am I asking for an answer that requires me to skip several lines? Is there is a simpler question that is more pertinent to my current circumstance? If I can’t have the answer to why, then maybe I can at least get an answer to what I should do right now. Asking, “What would Thou have me do?” can help me sift through what I want in order to discover what God wants for me at that moment.
God’s purpose in testing us is to help us. So often it seems that needed help comes when I am about to give up but choose to hold on a little longer and rely on my faith. That’s when I receive my witness.
By the end of that day, other events occurred that were an answer to my morning prayer, as well as months of prayer. My trial had come to an end, or at least that part of my lesson was complete. I am sure I am only being prepared for the next test whenever it may be. But this much I know, each of us is given trials to test our faith. If it is my faith that is being tested, then it is my faith that I should apply as quickly as possible. Any delay that I exhibit may prolong my trial. But when I turn my heart to Father, I know that He hears and answers prayers.
Most importantly, I have again learned one of the many ways that Father will answer prayers. If we have the faith to study out a question and come to the best answer possible, He will send the Comforter to let us know if the path we are on is correct. Though we may each feel the Holy Spirit in a different way, the pattern is promised. We need not endure our own Gethsemane to be assured that God lives and that He hears and answers prayers. When we need someone to talk to, He is always listening.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Just prior to the Savior’s most lonely moments, he met with his beloved apostles for the Last Supper. He knew the magnitude of the burden He would have to bear, and he chose to be with those who were closest to Him. There he called them “friends,” and said, “Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you….” (John 15:14-16) What a beautiful thing it is that Jesus would trust and confide in those who could give Him strength in his trials. I can think of no greater compliment than for the Lord to acknowledge me as His friend. I can only hope that someday I will have lived worthy enough to have such a privilege.
As the evening went on, Jesus described the difficulties that He would shortly face. He also told His apostles the difficulties they would face as His friends. Yet He promised them a gift for loving Him. “And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; Even the Spirit of truth … for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. … Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:16-17, 27) Being a friend to Jesus is not an easy thing. It is sure to be difficult. During times of loneliness when our burdens seem greater than we can bear, I am grateful that He has promised to help us.
Recently, I experienced a difficult trial that weighed heavily on my heart. I felt that I was again riding upon the waves of a raging tempest, and the ups and downs seemed too hard to bear. What seemed worse was that I experienced a moment of ambiguity where I hoped to feel the influence of the Holy Spirit and did not. That influence had not left me, but I didn’t feel the clear direction that I had prayed for. Instead, I felt distance. I also found it very interesting that I did feel the promptings of the Holy Spirit in other matters, just not in that particular one. I believe I was being tested to see what I would do on my own.
I reflected on what Jesus did after the Last Supper as He went with His disciples to the Garden of Gethsemane. There he asked Peter, James, and John to watch and pray with Him. Sadly, in His time of need, they were not able to stay awake. Their own trials were bearing down on them and they could do nothing to help Him. It was in that moment of loneliness that Jesus called upon His Father in prayer and was strengthened by an angel who visited Him. Sometimes, when I need someone to talk to, and it seems there is nowhere else to turn, Father is always waiting to listen. I believe He gives us difficult experiences where no one else seems able to help because it causes us to turn to Him.
Earlier this year, I experienced similar trials where the ups and downs seemed unbearable. At times they felt like a rollercoaster of seismic activity. As that trial seemed to conclude I remember having the impression that the ups and downs of the previous year were just preparing me for another seismic event. I was being prepared for the next lesson. As I experienced a new set of ups and downs, I asked myself, “Is this it? Is this the culminating point of that impression?” I believe so. Remembering the impression didn’t take away the burden, but it did help to see that the Lord’s hand was in it and that I shouldn’t despair.
In the midst of the ups and downs, I found that I had emotional swings where I seemed to feel the spirit very clearly, alternating with moments of doubt and fog. On one particular morning a few weeks ago, there was an amazing thunder storm outside. I usually enjoy a good storm, but this time I felt different. Instead I felt great discouragement and despair. Things seemed very dark. I even felt as though I was encompassed about by the adversary, and I was troubled.
The next day I was still pondering the questions that had been on my mind, hoping for some answers. I ached. Before going to work, I stopped by a nearby cemetery to think and pray. That particular cemetery has been a good place for me to go when I need a few minutes of solitude – a place where I can eliminate distractions. I still felt confused about my direction. At times things seemed so clear, and then they would go foggy and not make as much sense. I was frustrated that I felt so distant from the spirit on this matter, that I was not receiving any revelation. That is when I began to pray.
As I sat in my car, I pled with Father to let me hear His voice again, or rather to have that familiar feeling that I am used to when I communicate with Him. I needed someone to talk to. As I did so, I felt the peace I was seeking return to my heart. I also had a reaffirmation that Father does hear and answer prayers.
I decided to test the pattern for receiving revelation, namely to study an issue out in my mind, come to a decision as to what was right, and then wait for the confirmation of the Holy Spirit. (Doctrine & Covenants 9:8) It is a simple process with many applications. Having faith in Jesus Christ is not just believing that He lived and that He will come again, it also includes having faith that what He said is true – true enough that it will work for me. This is what happened in my circumstance.
Pleading with Father, I asked a few questions and received some real time answers. It wasn’t like an audible voice. It was a very subtle feeling that I can never feel unless I am truly honest with myself and I have intent to learn and follow. The answers came as I asked the questions, tried to think what the correct answers might be, and then waited for the familiar feeling of the spirit to confirm or refute my thoughts.
In order to receive answers to prayer, I believe that the person praying has to believe, or at least have a hope, that Father does hear and answer prayers. He does so line upon line, and precept upon precept. This means that I may not receive the answers that I expect, but He will tell me just enough of what I need to know in order to complete my test.
As I asked my first question, “Am I wrong in my intent?” I thought in my mind that the answer was no. At the same time I felt the confirming peace in my heart that the impression was correct. I would have been uncertain had it not been for the familiarity of that peaceful feeling – a feeling that always comes when the Spirit of the Lord is near.
I then asked my second question, “Is my current course the right direction to continue in?” In my mind I thought yes, which again was confirmed by that peaceful feeling that comes from the Comforter. When I asked my third question, “Will my trial ever change?” I had a different thought that equated to, “John, that’s not for you to know right now. Be patient.” This, too, was accompanied by that familiar feeling. It wasn’t the answer I wanted to hear, but I knew it was right in my heart. It didn’t come in the form of words, but as I felt the meaning in the impression, those were the words that seemed most appropriate to dress the meaning in. As I did so, the Holy Ghost confirmed that the feeling was correct.
Two additional questions were answered for me that helped me to feel better about the moments of clarity I had felt before. When I felt surrounded by fog and despair, it was easy to question those moments of clarity and doubt that my prayers had really been answered. Some of the questions were difficult to ask, because I believed I would get an answer I didn’t want. I did, but I had to know. I needed to feel like I could progress again. There are a lot of things I have wanted in my life, but above all, when I have tried to make the right choice, things have always worked out for the best. Though I didn’t receive all the answers I wanted, and some of the answers were not what I had hoped for, my faith was enlarged by the fact that I needed someone to talk to, and Father heard.
There is a verse of scripture that is very familiar to me, and definitely a foundation for my faith. The apostle James taught, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.” (James 1:5-6)
In order to overcome my own tempest-tossed emotions, I had to stabilize my faith first, and put my trust in God. For me, that meant that I had to be willing to do whatever He wants me to do. If I can be completely honest with myself in that regard, then He can be honest with me.
Not all answers to prayer come instantaneously. Mine came after months of prayer, work, and pondering. Some take more time than others, and usually this has more to do with my own understanding. When I don’t get answers to the questions I ask in prayer, I try to examine why. If God reveals things to us line upon line, am I asking for an answer that requires me to skip several lines? Is there is a simpler question that is more pertinent to my current circumstance? If I can’t have the answer to why, then maybe I can at least get an answer to what I should do right now. Asking, “What would Thou have me do?” can help me sift through what I want in order to discover what God wants for me at that moment.
God’s purpose in testing us is to help us. So often it seems that needed help comes when I am about to give up but choose to hold on a little longer and rely on my faith. That’s when I receive my witness.
By the end of that day, other events occurred that were an answer to my morning prayer, as well as months of prayer. My trial had come to an end, or at least that part of my lesson was complete. I am sure I am only being prepared for the next test whenever it may be. But this much I know, each of us is given trials to test our faith. If it is my faith that is being tested, then it is my faith that I should apply as quickly as possible. Any delay that I exhibit may prolong my trial. But when I turn my heart to Father, I know that He hears and answers prayers.
Most importantly, I have again learned one of the many ways that Father will answer prayers. If we have the faith to study out a question and come to the best answer possible, He will send the Comforter to let us know if the path we are on is correct. Though we may each feel the Holy Spirit in a different way, the pattern is promised. We need not endure our own Gethsemane to be assured that God lives and that He hears and answers prayers. When we need someone to talk to, He is always listening.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Death is a Doorway
Standing
At the face of the reposed stone
Inscripted with names,
I rest
And remember
The mother I’ve never met.
I long
And yearn some more
For greeting phrases that await my arrival
In the next place,
A passage I have not yet read.
Waiting,
I reflect on my faithful friend
Who just now left,
So suddenly,
Passing through a door
In the ground –
A door admitting entrance
More readily
Than granting one return passage.
His place is further,
Another part in the book,
The next grand adventure.
Death,
A doorway not to be feared,
With plot largely unknown,
Is a path
From life to life
Between chapters of experience.
One school is finished,
Another begins,
But the life that passes through,
A common thread,
Is still the same,
Only more.
Death is merely a passage
To be written.
Mostly unseen,
One piece of my heart died,
Entering
The consuming furnace of unfamiliar trial
And test
As words I penned
Were etched in my heart by choice.
Repeatedly
My heart emerged again
And again,
Largely the same and unharmed.
Lesser parts purged,
The better made clearer.
The last time I passed away,
In the first place,
Or that which came before,
I left
Those who were familiar
And loved me.
In keeping my first estate,
I gave it up
And was given another.
Even now, I remember nothing
About that death.
Upon my leaving,
I was affectionately received
By family.
Did I lose or did I gain?
Which did it seem at first,
In that place?
Did I know
The expanse of loss
Makes room for more given?
Did I see
Losing the wrong is always better
And losing good
Temporary?
Did I know I would know
Someday?
Now I consider
The arrival of some future point
When my time here
Becomes
A passage in a book.
Will I fear that experience,
New and unfamiliar,
As though it is the first time?
Or will I be ready to turn another page
Just like the last?
If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.
Each time I die,
And offer one more part
That clings for existence,
The pattern of life is reread.
As long as I am willing,
The pathway seems to lead my heart and mind
Further up and further in.
If I remember, and feel,
I do not fear.
Verily,
It is written.
Books are inscripted,
Capturing the things we forget,
The memories
That escape our minds,
And the lessons
We thought we knew.
Death,
Is a doorway
Not to be feared,
But respected
With honest tears
In hope of the things we know
To wash away our fears.
“To die will be an awfully big adventure.” James M. Barrie, Peter Pan.
“One school is finished, and the time has come for another to begin.” Richard Bach, Jonathan Livingston Seagull.
“If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.” (Doctrine & Covenants 38:30)
“Come further up, come further in.” C. S. Lewis, The Last Battle.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
At the face of the reposed stone
Inscripted with names,
I rest
And remember
The mother I’ve never met.
I long
And yearn some more
For greeting phrases that await my arrival
In the next place,
A passage I have not yet read.
Waiting,
I reflect on my faithful friend
Who just now left,
So suddenly,
Passing through a door
In the ground –
A door admitting entrance
More readily
Than granting one return passage.
His place is further,
Another part in the book,
The next grand adventure.
Death,
A doorway not to be feared,
With plot largely unknown,
Is a path
From life to life
Between chapters of experience.
One school is finished,
Another begins,
But the life that passes through,
A common thread,
Is still the same,
Only more.
Death is merely a passage
To be written.
Mostly unseen,
One piece of my heart died,
Entering
The consuming furnace of unfamiliar trial
And test
As words I penned
Were etched in my heart by choice.
Repeatedly
My heart emerged again
And again,
Largely the same and unharmed.
Lesser parts purged,
The better made clearer.
The last time I passed away,
In the first place,
Or that which came before,
I left
Those who were familiar
And loved me.
In keeping my first estate,
I gave it up
And was given another.
Even now, I remember nothing
About that death.
Upon my leaving,
I was affectionately received
By family.
Did I lose or did I gain?
Which did it seem at first,
In that place?
Did I know
The expanse of loss
Makes room for more given?
Did I see
Losing the wrong is always better
And losing good
Temporary?
Did I know I would know
Someday?
Now I consider
The arrival of some future point
When my time here
Becomes
A passage in a book.
Will I fear that experience,
New and unfamiliar,
As though it is the first time?
Or will I be ready to turn another page
Just like the last?
If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.
Each time I die,
And offer one more part
That clings for existence,
The pattern of life is reread.
As long as I am willing,
The pathway seems to lead my heart and mind
Further up and further in.
If I remember, and feel,
I do not fear.
Verily,
It is written.
Books are inscripted,
Capturing the things we forget,
The memories
That escape our minds,
And the lessons
We thought we knew.
Death,
Is a doorway
Not to be feared,
But respected
With honest tears
In hope of the things we know
To wash away our fears.
“To die will be an awfully big adventure.” James M. Barrie, Peter Pan.
“One school is finished, and the time has come for another to begin.” Richard Bach, Jonathan Livingston Seagull.
“If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.” (Doctrine & Covenants 38:30)
“Come further up, come further in.” C. S. Lewis, The Last Battle.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Monday, June 7, 2010
Mirrors and Oneness
Seeing someone in a crowd that reminds you of a friend or an acquaintance is not that uncommon of an experience. Perhaps it is because we are always looking, hoping for some sort of connection. More often than not, we are drawn to people who are most like ourselves because it gives us something in common that we can relate to. It gives us a foundation on which we can build and make more connections.
A couple of decades ago, I had an experience that seemed a little odd and unexpected. The situation was unique in that the occurrence had not happened before and has not happened since. I was at Disneyland with my parents and we were navigating a crowd of people near New Orleans Square to get in line for the next ride. As I was walking, I saw a maintenance worker dressed in white walking with a broom and dustpan. I stopped for a moment, taken aback. As I watched him, I thought to myself, “He looks just like me!” It was almost like looking in a mirror, or as close to it as I had ever experienced with a stranger.
Seeing this man caused me to ask some additional questions. “Do I walk that way? Is that how I look to other people? I wonder what he is like.” His appearance wasn’t identical but it was close enough that it had a strong effect on me. The image is still clear in my mind.
When you see a person who bears a resemblance to someone who is familiar to you, the type of relationship you have determines the reaction. If I were a criminal who had just robbed a store, recognizing someone may not be a good thing. Instead of hope, I might have pangs of fear. But, if I were to see a close friend that I hadn’t seen for many years, I may wish to become reacquainted. Had I been the robber, I may have been relieved to find out the person was not the security officer I expected. Or, seeing the person I thought to be my friend, I might be disappointed that the resemblance was only that, and not the actual acquaintance. Still, the memory of that friend may warm my heart with gratitude, if only in remembrance. It may also give me reason to look a little more.
Generally, I believe we tend to find what we are looking for. There are exceptions to this rule as we happen upon something wonderful that is unlooked for. Call it serendipity or providence, I believe there is room for both and they are usually discernable. Yet, if we have faith in God, I believe we tend to look for the fruits of our faith. We expect good things to happen. If we are watching, we will recognize more of God’s influence in our lives, and we will have more to be grateful for. This is one case where believing is seeing.
Separate from appearances, there are other times when I happen to meet someone in the crowd of humanity that seems very familiar. In many ways our meeting is like looking in a mirror. We may not appear the same, have similar genetics, or even be the same gender, but there is something else, deeper than appearances, with a striking resemblance. Almost instantly, something resonates clearly and I am left to ponder why. I can’t say I have lots of answers, but I am very grateful for those connections. I have found those associations to be powerful and beautiful.
When you see a person who more than resembles someone you know, and is someone you know, the type of relationship you have with that person also determines the reaction. Quickly we make a judgment. “Is this someone I want to engage in conversation or avoid? Do I have pangs of fear, or do I want to become reacquainted? Is this relationship more meaningful or less meaningful?” I don’t believe there are right or wrong answers, but our answers reveal much about our hearts. It is easier to want to be with people with whom you feel you share something in common.
Since my heart is the truest indicator of who I am, it is my heart that I want to purify. I want to be my best self and not just a shadow of what I can be. I want to take out the trash rather than collect it. The air is much fresher to breathe and I am at ease when I am not surrounded by garbage that builds up over time. I can put many things in my heart – be it fear or faith, love or anger, pride or humility – but once those things are there, they are not easily removed. All matter has gravity, and while the gravity of the earth is strong, I believe gravity of the heart is stronger.
A mirror can be quite useful. It gives a reflection of who we are and what we are like, at least on the outside. Like our hearts, a mirror is very revealing. It shows our admirable qualities and our blemishes. It is not always easy to take the full package and say, “It is what it is.” True, I am what I am, but it is also true that I can change. Even a mirror will show that much over time.
Emotions we associate with our mirrors can also speak volumes about our hearts. Some may love to look in a mirror to admire their own qualities. Some may look in the mirror for hours to improve how they appear. Others may be afraid to look at their reflection because they know what they will see, wishing they were different. Some may not be satisfied with what they see and yet do not feel empowered to change. Some may choose to look at a mirror with indifference, believing there are more important things than self. They are neither enamored nor afraid. Occasionally it may happen that some will look in the mirror and just be grateful. I suspect there are days in which we all look at our hearts they way we look at mirrors with a variety of emotions and expressions. A mirror is a funny place for pulling faces.
The concept of self is an interesting paradox. It is helpful to know where you are to know where you are not. We need to acknowledge self enough to be aware, but not so much that we are distracted. If I have some sense of where my heart is by how my desires are reflected in my actions, I can determine where I need to change. But, if I focus on myself too much in the mirror, I will also miss the import of what needs to be cleaned up. The heart is an excellent place to examine the qualities and blemishes of our intent. This leads me to a probing question, “As a disciple of Jesus Christ, how can I use my heart and my mirror to help me lose self?” A mirror used to see myself is less useful than a mirror that is used to see the Savior.
The prophet Alma, after having taught about being spiritually reborn, offers a few important questions to consider. Speaking of the Lord he asked, “Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts? ... I say unto you, can ye look up to God at that day with a pure heart and clean hands? I say unto you, can you look up, having the image of God engraven upon your countenances?” (Alma 5:14, 19) In order to be a true disciple and be spiritually reborn, we must tie our actions to our faith. Our intent will be reflected in what we do. More importantly, this change of heart cannot be temporarily received, it must be engraved if we hope to keep it. Thus if we look in the mirror and begin to see the Savior, Jesus Christ, reflected in our hearts, our intent, and our actions, we can know that a mighty change is beginning to increase our faith. This is the start, or the birth, of our spiritual growth.
Just as spiritual rebirth begins in the heart, spiritual growth continues to flow from the heart. It is the heart that needs to be mirrored. Losing self can be best accomplished by reflecting the will of God in our own will. As we change our hearts and our desires to match His, we become one with God. Jesus prayed for this as He met with His apostles at the Last Supper. Speaking to the Father, He said, “And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth. Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word; That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.” (John 17:19-21)
Speaking of the prophet Enoch and his people, Moses said, “And the Lord called his people Zion, because they were of one heart and one mind, and dwelt in righteousness….” (Moses 7:18) If we wish to be among the Lord’s people, we need to bridle our desires and our passions and align them with the Lord’s will. When we learn to control the instruments for personal revelation – the mind and the heart – and direct them towards the Lord, then we grow spiritually. It is then that we become one with God.
The Lord revealed this same principle to Joseph Smith, speaking of our focus. He said, “And if your eye be single to my glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light, and there shall be no darkness in you; and that body which is filled with light comprehendeth all things. Therefore, sanctify yourselves that your minds become single to God, and the days will come that you shall see him; for he will unveil his face unto you, and it shall be in his own time, and in his own way, and according to his own will.” (Doctrine & Covenants 88:67-68) If we will turn our eyes, and our hearts, so that they are single to God’s glory, he will fill our souls with light. As we are filled, the light will chase the darkness from us. The Holy Spirit will be able to sanctify our hearts just as Jesus prayed. When that mighty change is complete, when we see Him, we will be like Him, because His image will be graven in our countenances.
Paul also taught, “If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, … fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let … each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” (Philippians 2:1-4)
So much depends on love. Dieter F. Uchtdorf recently taught, “Love is what inspired our Heavenly Father to create our spirits; it is what led our Savior to the Garden of Gethsemane to make Himself a ransom for our sins. Love is the grand motive of the plan of salvation; it is the source of happiness, the ever-renewing spring of healing, the precious fountain of hope.
“As we extend our hands and hearts toward others in Christlike love, something wonderful happens to us. Our own spirits become healed, more refined, and stronger. We become happier, more peaceful, and more receptive to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit.” (You Are My Hands)
If we wish to become like Jesus, then we must be willing to love like Jesus. We can lose “self” by loving people as our “self”. Then my purpose for looking in the mirror is not to see how becoming I am, but to see how I am becoming like the Savior Jesus Christ.
More often than not, we are drawn to people who are most like ourselves because it gives us something in common that we can relate to. As we draw near to the Savior, we have much more in common with those who are not like us because we begin to feel His love for them. It’s His love that we share in common. Then, as we look in the mirror, hopefully we see less of our own selves and more of His image.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
A couple of decades ago, I had an experience that seemed a little odd and unexpected. The situation was unique in that the occurrence had not happened before and has not happened since. I was at Disneyland with my parents and we were navigating a crowd of people near New Orleans Square to get in line for the next ride. As I was walking, I saw a maintenance worker dressed in white walking with a broom and dustpan. I stopped for a moment, taken aback. As I watched him, I thought to myself, “He looks just like me!” It was almost like looking in a mirror, or as close to it as I had ever experienced with a stranger.
Seeing this man caused me to ask some additional questions. “Do I walk that way? Is that how I look to other people? I wonder what he is like.” His appearance wasn’t identical but it was close enough that it had a strong effect on me. The image is still clear in my mind.
When you see a person who bears a resemblance to someone who is familiar to you, the type of relationship you have determines the reaction. If I were a criminal who had just robbed a store, recognizing someone may not be a good thing. Instead of hope, I might have pangs of fear. But, if I were to see a close friend that I hadn’t seen for many years, I may wish to become reacquainted. Had I been the robber, I may have been relieved to find out the person was not the security officer I expected. Or, seeing the person I thought to be my friend, I might be disappointed that the resemblance was only that, and not the actual acquaintance. Still, the memory of that friend may warm my heart with gratitude, if only in remembrance. It may also give me reason to look a little more.
Generally, I believe we tend to find what we are looking for. There are exceptions to this rule as we happen upon something wonderful that is unlooked for. Call it serendipity or providence, I believe there is room for both and they are usually discernable. Yet, if we have faith in God, I believe we tend to look for the fruits of our faith. We expect good things to happen. If we are watching, we will recognize more of God’s influence in our lives, and we will have more to be grateful for. This is one case where believing is seeing.
Separate from appearances, there are other times when I happen to meet someone in the crowd of humanity that seems very familiar. In many ways our meeting is like looking in a mirror. We may not appear the same, have similar genetics, or even be the same gender, but there is something else, deeper than appearances, with a striking resemblance. Almost instantly, something resonates clearly and I am left to ponder why. I can’t say I have lots of answers, but I am very grateful for those connections. I have found those associations to be powerful and beautiful.
When you see a person who more than resembles someone you know, and is someone you know, the type of relationship you have with that person also determines the reaction. Quickly we make a judgment. “Is this someone I want to engage in conversation or avoid? Do I have pangs of fear, or do I want to become reacquainted? Is this relationship more meaningful or less meaningful?” I don’t believe there are right or wrong answers, but our answers reveal much about our hearts. It is easier to want to be with people with whom you feel you share something in common.
Since my heart is the truest indicator of who I am, it is my heart that I want to purify. I want to be my best self and not just a shadow of what I can be. I want to take out the trash rather than collect it. The air is much fresher to breathe and I am at ease when I am not surrounded by garbage that builds up over time. I can put many things in my heart – be it fear or faith, love or anger, pride or humility – but once those things are there, they are not easily removed. All matter has gravity, and while the gravity of the earth is strong, I believe gravity of the heart is stronger.
A mirror can be quite useful. It gives a reflection of who we are and what we are like, at least on the outside. Like our hearts, a mirror is very revealing. It shows our admirable qualities and our blemishes. It is not always easy to take the full package and say, “It is what it is.” True, I am what I am, but it is also true that I can change. Even a mirror will show that much over time.
Emotions we associate with our mirrors can also speak volumes about our hearts. Some may love to look in a mirror to admire their own qualities. Some may look in the mirror for hours to improve how they appear. Others may be afraid to look at their reflection because they know what they will see, wishing they were different. Some may not be satisfied with what they see and yet do not feel empowered to change. Some may choose to look at a mirror with indifference, believing there are more important things than self. They are neither enamored nor afraid. Occasionally it may happen that some will look in the mirror and just be grateful. I suspect there are days in which we all look at our hearts they way we look at mirrors with a variety of emotions and expressions. A mirror is a funny place for pulling faces.
The concept of self is an interesting paradox. It is helpful to know where you are to know where you are not. We need to acknowledge self enough to be aware, but not so much that we are distracted. If I have some sense of where my heart is by how my desires are reflected in my actions, I can determine where I need to change. But, if I focus on myself too much in the mirror, I will also miss the import of what needs to be cleaned up. The heart is an excellent place to examine the qualities and blemishes of our intent. This leads me to a probing question, “As a disciple of Jesus Christ, how can I use my heart and my mirror to help me lose self?” A mirror used to see myself is less useful than a mirror that is used to see the Savior.
The prophet Alma, after having taught about being spiritually reborn, offers a few important questions to consider. Speaking of the Lord he asked, “Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts? ... I say unto you, can ye look up to God at that day with a pure heart and clean hands? I say unto you, can you look up, having the image of God engraven upon your countenances?” (Alma 5:14, 19) In order to be a true disciple and be spiritually reborn, we must tie our actions to our faith. Our intent will be reflected in what we do. More importantly, this change of heart cannot be temporarily received, it must be engraved if we hope to keep it. Thus if we look in the mirror and begin to see the Savior, Jesus Christ, reflected in our hearts, our intent, and our actions, we can know that a mighty change is beginning to increase our faith. This is the start, or the birth, of our spiritual growth.
Just as spiritual rebirth begins in the heart, spiritual growth continues to flow from the heart. It is the heart that needs to be mirrored. Losing self can be best accomplished by reflecting the will of God in our own will. As we change our hearts and our desires to match His, we become one with God. Jesus prayed for this as He met with His apostles at the Last Supper. Speaking to the Father, He said, “And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth. Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word; That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.” (John 17:19-21)
Speaking of the prophet Enoch and his people, Moses said, “And the Lord called his people Zion, because they were of one heart and one mind, and dwelt in righteousness….” (Moses 7:18) If we wish to be among the Lord’s people, we need to bridle our desires and our passions and align them with the Lord’s will. When we learn to control the instruments for personal revelation – the mind and the heart – and direct them towards the Lord, then we grow spiritually. It is then that we become one with God.
The Lord revealed this same principle to Joseph Smith, speaking of our focus. He said, “And if your eye be single to my glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light, and there shall be no darkness in you; and that body which is filled with light comprehendeth all things. Therefore, sanctify yourselves that your minds become single to God, and the days will come that you shall see him; for he will unveil his face unto you, and it shall be in his own time, and in his own way, and according to his own will.” (Doctrine & Covenants 88:67-68) If we will turn our eyes, and our hearts, so that they are single to God’s glory, he will fill our souls with light. As we are filled, the light will chase the darkness from us. The Holy Spirit will be able to sanctify our hearts just as Jesus prayed. When that mighty change is complete, when we see Him, we will be like Him, because His image will be graven in our countenances.
Paul also taught, “If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, … fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let … each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” (Philippians 2:1-4)
So much depends on love. Dieter F. Uchtdorf recently taught, “Love is what inspired our Heavenly Father to create our spirits; it is what led our Savior to the Garden of Gethsemane to make Himself a ransom for our sins. Love is the grand motive of the plan of salvation; it is the source of happiness, the ever-renewing spring of healing, the precious fountain of hope.
“As we extend our hands and hearts toward others in Christlike love, something wonderful happens to us. Our own spirits become healed, more refined, and stronger. We become happier, more peaceful, and more receptive to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit.” (You Are My Hands)
If we wish to become like Jesus, then we must be willing to love like Jesus. We can lose “self” by loving people as our “self”. Then my purpose for looking in the mirror is not to see how becoming I am, but to see how I am becoming like the Savior Jesus Christ.
More often than not, we are drawn to people who are most like ourselves because it gives us something in common that we can relate to. As we draw near to the Savior, we have much more in common with those who are not like us because we begin to feel His love for them. It’s His love that we share in common. Then, as we look in the mirror, hopefully we see less of our own selves and more of His image.
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