Change

While living in California for a couple of years, I missed a particular family get-together that has been repeatedly retold ever since. The story goes that my niece, a toddler at the time, was just catching on to the concept of Christmas and what it meant to be given a gift. One of the gifts that she received was unforgettable – a pair of socks. She was so excited! Because of her reaction, someone in the family decided to hand her another gift. The socks were rewrapped and presented to her again. To her delight she received “another” pair. I’m not sure exactly how long Christmas kept improving like this until she realized that she was continually reopening the same gift.

Boyd K. Packer once said, “Things that don’t change remain the same.” It’s a nice piece of common sense, don’t you think? With the scarcity of common sense sometimes, it is helpful to have the obvious pointed out so plainly. I often wonder why some circumstances in my life don’t seem to change as fast as I would like. Then I look to see if I have done anything to merit a different outcome. “Hmm. I guess not,” is my usual observation.

My wife and I have been discussing some of our observations about change this week on our early morning walks. I won’t steal too much of her thunder, but she had a great analogy for life’s lessons. We all seem to learn the same lessons, but we often learn them in a different order. Sometimes we don’t learn from them when the opportunity is given to us. Consequently, we keep opening the same present expecting a different result. I’m not sure about you, but I often find the wrapping paper looks a little different, but the bow that wraps up the gift seems to be the same each time.

Whether or not change is desirable seems to have everything to do with choices. If I have control over my choices, and the resulting change, I feel better about things. When I feel like the change is out of my control, and that it limits my choices, I feel very uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel trapped, frozen, or confined. I feel like I am being acted upon because I am not able to control my circumstances. It is interesting to note that agency is the freedom to choose within a given set of conditions. I don’t always get to choose the conditions, which leaves me with the feeling of not having control. This doesn’t mean I have lost my agency, or my ability to choose.

Liz and I recently talked with some good friends about the types of change we have felt and experienced this year. Some changes are a gradual deluge of blessings or trials. Some are more abruptly taken or given. Occasionally a change may appear to take everything you have learned and turn it upside down, as though it no longer is true, only to find out that you just had to shake out the parts that weren’t true to make room for things that are truer. Each type of change has its place in the lessons we get to unwrap. That said, it is still easier to make sense of a difficult lesson after you have gone through it and completed it than it is to get your bearings when you are right in the middle.

One beautiful example of change is the transformation of a caterpillar to a butterfly. The caterpillar has its own type of beauty, while the butterfly has an aesthetic quality that seems to be more widely recognized. Seldom, however, have I heard anyone say, “Hey, look at that! Have you ever seen such a stunning cocoon?” Yet it is inside the veil-thin walls of a cocoon that the beautiful transformation takes place. The separation is just enough for the caterpillar to become something new and amazing, no matter how confining it appears. Having experienced mild forms of claustrophobia before, I wonder what the caterpillar feels like during the process.

Another type of change is related to temperance, or the ability to endure lessened conditions. In the case of tempered steel, a piece of steel is gradually heated to a very hot temperature. At the appropriate time and condition, the steel is then plunged into cold water, which causes a reaction in the metal. The immediate change in circumstances may seem a shock to the system, but it makes the steel much, much stronger. There are times when I have had a gradual increase in blessings, only to have them taken away in an instant. Conversely, I have also had trials that increased gradually to where it seemed I could bear no more, and then there was instantaneous relief. I remember those sudden changes acutely, with both sorrow and happiness.

Whether a slow process of being confined with in a veil or cocoon, or the abrupt process of tempering, change becomes more manageable and endurable when I can count on someone to help me through the process who knows exactly what I am feeling. In many cases, the only one who understands completely is God.

C. S. Lewis compared this transformation process to God helping us with a slight remodeling job. “Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right, and stopping the leaks in the roof, and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably, and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of– throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

It is often difficult to tell at the onset whether God is giving us a trial or a blessing. There have been many times that I have received a blessing only to discover that it was a test to see if I would do what I said I would do in a circumstance where I had less need. I have also found a number of trials to be great blessings after the fact because of the way they made me stronger, more capable, and more able to receive greater blessings. The more I experience change, the more inclined I am to hold out on passing judgment, and simply acknowledge that Father knows a better way.

The Lord taught Joseph Smith an important principle about accountability. He said, “He that receiveth of God, let him account it of God; and let him rejoice that he is accounted of God worthy to receive.” (Doctrine & Covenants 50:34) Each phrase in this sentence is worth looking at carefully. The Lord doesn’t specify whether it is blessings or trials that we receive at His hand, just that we should acknowledge Him if He is the giver. This also implies that accountability is not just responsibility, but acknowledging duty and devotion to the giver. Lastly, the fact that we have received a trial or blessing from God implies that He feels we are ready for it. Receiving an opportunity or a lesson from God is different than taking it. Perhaps there are trials that may be self-induced, but all blessings come from God and we should rejoice that He stays involved in our personal lives.

If I can get past my initial assessment of whether an experience, opportunity, or lesson is a blessing or a trial, and merely recognize when it is of God, then my perception of the experience undergoes a change. It may not be easy, but my attitude will likely be different and the change begins to affect me internally and not just externally. This requires me to change my mind about changing my heart, a softening that helps me to yield because I know God is always right.

Many years ago when I was a teenager, I read in Matthew 3 where there is a description of John the Baptist. I looked at a footnote to John’s name and saw the following, “The Greek word denotes ‘a change of heart or mind,’ i.e. ‘a conversion.’ ” Since I share his name, I was excited that my name had that kind of meaning. It gave me the desire to be converted to a greater degree. I was inspired to actively seek a change of heart and mind rather than fear it. This simple verse had a great impact on me for many years. It was only recently that I read that same passage again and made a startling discovery. I realized that I had read the wrong footnote. The note that I had attached myself to referred to the word, “repent,” that appears in the adjacent verse. I had been mistaken about the reference perhaps, but I hadn’t been wrong about the meaning.

This epiphany (or rather, apostrophe, if you will) didn’t shatter me because I had been wrong about reality. Whether or not the verse pointed to the footnote that meant so much to me was irrelevant. The important truth, in this case, was that I saw something that inspired me, enough that I wanted to change for the better. I made a choice. The truth was, I had read something full of meaning and I internalized it. It was powerful enough that it caused me to make changes on my own. I had followed a partial idea that led me to a much better place. Occasionally when I experience a change, and the world as I know it seems to turn upside down, I find that I am just shaking off the things that may not be true. Then when everything turns right-side-up again, I have a more accurate picture that leads me to an even better place. So much of my ability to do this depends on faith and intent.

Alma the younger spoke of his father, Alma, and the change that he underwent as he listened to the prophet Abinadi. He said, “And according to his faith there was a mighty change wrought in his heart. Behold I say unto you that this is all true.” (Alma 5:12) Changes were occurring all around Alma the elder. He was being taught that many of his choices had been wrong. Even though he was a priest called to lead the people to do good, he was leading them astray. Alma began to internalize what he heard into something that he could feel. Instead of hardening his heart and resisting change, he softened his heart and acted upon what he knew to be true. Because of his faith, he wrought a mighty change.

The beauty of this example is that Alma was in control of whether he was acting or being acted upon. Rather than choosing to be angry at the implications on his character, he chose the path of greater freedom. He chose not to resist the changes the Lord wanted to make in his life. Alma also records what the Lord did for others. “Behold, he changed their hearts; yea, he awakened them out of a deep sleep, and they awoke unto God.” (Alma 5:7) This suggests that a hardened heart is sleepy and not very cognizant. Choosing to resist God lulls us further to sleep to where we have a diminished sense of reality. On the other hand, obeying God gives us increased understanding, ability, and awareness. When we are presented with an opportunity for positive change, it always leads to a better place.

As a creature of habit and weakness looking for stability and security, change does not come easy for me. A willingness to be obedient doesn’t necessarily make obedience less painful. Instead, that willingness may provide an opportunity to get to a better place with less lingering in sorrow or sleepy resistance. The difficulty of the change does not dissipate or disappear, but the opportunity to change increases my opportunity to find greater happiness sooner. If I wish to be like God, I have to be willing to change. I need to depend upon Him and rely upon His understanding to get me through the transformation. I have to trust that I will be safe within the veil of my understanding. The cocoon is there to protect me as much as provide a reason to have faith. As I am tempered, my desire may grow stronger, but so does my ability to make correct choices. Through practice, I become more and more comfortable with change, even when it is difficult. Through obedience I become more like God.

There is a small irony with change. God is constant and does not vary. “I am the Lord, I change not….” (Malachi 3:6) And yet He asks us to do something that He does not do. Why? God only asks us to change so we can become more like Him. He wants us to eliminate our imperfections and our sins. He wants us to change our hearts to match His. When we have done that, we will no longer be required to change. Until then, He will continue to provide us with opportunities to change for the better. If we see them for what they are, and we internalize these changes in our hearts, He will provide more opportunities. If not, we may find that we keep getting the same opportunity again and again. The wrapping may be different, but the bow that ties it all together is usually the same.

Change is rarely easy, but it is the path back to Father. Placing my faith in Him allows me to internalize the changes occurring around me and soften my heart. As my heart becomes more flexible, I become more like Him. I become more eligible to access His power that makes all things seem possible. All I have to do is turn to Him. Difficult challenges become more manageable and endurable when I can count on someone to help me through the process who knows exactly what I am feeling. In most cases, the only one who fits that description is the One who provided the opportunity for me to change in the first place. Receiving positive change is receiving God. Placing my faith in Him as I open my heart to change makes all the difference in the outcome.


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More

The heart,
Honest, and open, and gratitude driven,
Yearns for more and more –
To give, to share, to live
And become.

The taste of freedom
Exquisitely flavored, ceaselessly stirs.
It moves, arouses, and inspires,
Compelling many acts
To greater distance.

Each pass of freedom plunges the heart
Deeper in devotion, richer in loyalty
And stronger in love,
With a never ending search
For more.

Abraham sought to be, as others,
A greater follower of righteousness.
He searched and obtained
Both door and key
To his exaltation.

The pathway to more, the door and the key,
Are tied as with a ribbon,
Inseparably connecting
Our will with God’s
And the supernal powers of heaven.

And yet, all this is tied to more.

Freedom,
Judiciously granted, one choice at a time,
Is the power to act
Without feeling acted upon.
This is my choosing.

Sin is bondage,
And temptation is testing.
Each time I yield up my sins,
My freedom is increased
With more.

So here I spread my fears and my doubts,
My many bondages I cling to.
I extract all the parasitical things
I’ve acquired in life
And I offer.

Both hoping and waiting,
I follow the path of Abraham
Towards things that are greater.
As he was tried, I’ll take up my test.
I’ll leave my spread behind.

And yet, all this is tied to more.

God has promised to give
All that He has
To those who believe that he will -
More holiness given, increasingly able,
And only my sins to lose.

Trusting, I cast from my heart
All that God requires
With the harmful removed,
And place made ready,
He returns to me my desires.

God spoke to Abraham,
Of sand in the ocean, and stars in the heaven.
Count them, He said. All will be given.
The faithful who wait will yet receive,
In His due time.


Abraham 1:2

D&C 101:4-5

Genesis 22:17


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Inasmuch as Ye Were Born

He looked at me, and I looked back. A large smile appeared on his face and he began to bounce. His eyes were large and trusting. Though he didn’t know who I was, the little boy wrapped each of his small hands around my index fingers and pulled himself to standing position on my lap. In an instant I remembered what it was like to have a baby again as we played for about an hour.

The boy’s parents, who are good friends of mine, have had a very challenging year. Anticipating a premature birth, and then having to keep their son in the hospital for the first couple months of his life was not easy. Many, many prayers were offered for them before and after his delivery. He is the recipient of a lot of invested faith. Their experience reminds me of the instruction the Lord gave to Eve after being cast out of the Garden of Eden. “I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception. In sorrow thou shalt bring forth children….” (Genesis 3:16) Yet, who can doubt that the joy and happiness, also delivered by the Lord, far outweigh the costs of arrival?

Innocence is a short season before accountability. As my friends’ son looked into my eyes, there was no fear present, only hope. He had no reason to be afraid. He has not yet been tarnished by transgression or doubt. Whenever he has a need, he simply cries and his parents take care of him. Life is simple. Yet, what is more beautiful still is the potential for him to become something so much greater. As he becomes accountable, power will be given him to choose for himself. He will be able to choose what he would like to become. A pure life is powerful, but a life that is pure by choice is more so.

If purity is such a powerful virtue, then why is temptation so appealing? Why do we sometimes doubt that obedience to God’s commandments is always the best course? We may not be willing to state this openly, but our actions show where our faith is. So much depends on our needs and how they are met.

Spencer W. Kimball said that sin is the result of “deep and unmet needs on the part of the sinner.” Each of us has divinely given needs, appetites, and desires. Our passions can be great motivations when properly controlled. But all too often, when these needs go unmet, we become impatient. When promised blessings do not arrive when hoped for, we often accept alternatives. This willingness to settle for something less than what God intended makes us both vulnerable and susceptible to temptation. When a trial is delivered instead of a needed blessing, we are tempted to doubt God’s integrity. Instead of trusting that the pain is a sign that something greater is on its way or is about to be delivered, we question why God has forgotten us.

Each time my wife delivered one of our children, she experienced a period of intense pain as she labored to get them here. As the father, I felt like I could do little but support her and watch as she experienced something that I could not take away from her. That was not my role. Instead I tried to encourage her. I held her hand and tried to comfort her. I sometimes wondered how tightly she planned to squeeze my hand as each wave of contractions became stronger and stronger. My efforts did not feel very heroic. Her endurance was.

As we become more accountable, the period in which we are allowed to cry before our needs are met may increase. Courage is required if we are to face our weaknesses with faith. We gain strength and become more like God as our abilities are tested. Each wave of trials becomes greater, as does our faith if we exercise it well. Our Father in Heaven bases each lesson, not only on our accountability, but our capability. While the duration of time before deliverance may increase, His promises do not diminish. If anything, they become more powerful because our faith becomes stronger. Thus, we have every reason to hold on a little longer until we are delivered.

Recognizing that by reason of the transgression of Adam, all mankind became carnal, sensual, and devilish by nature, we all become guilty of sin and are in need of repentance. It is an interesting irony that we become devilish to please and satisfy our bodies, when the devil who tempts us does not have a body. It is when we choose to act like him, in spite of the promises of God, that we become devilish. Whether by deliberate sin or unintentional transgression, we can only become like God when we do what he would do, and this requires correction.

After Adam was cast out of the Garden, God told Adam how his needs could best be met. He said to him, “If thou wilt turn unto me, and hearken unto my voice, and believe, and repent of all thy transgressions, and be baptized, even in water, in the name of mine Only Begotten Son, who is full of grace and truth, which is Jesus Christ, the only name which shall be given under heaven, whereby salvation shall come unto the children of men, ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost, asking all things in his name, and whatsoever ye shall ask, it shall be given you.” (Moses 6:52)

After we repent and are cleansed, we are offered the precious gift that will help us see that our needs our met. We become worthy of the companionship of the Holy Ghost, who, in spite of our imperfections, will help us know what to ask for, and it then it will be given.

Consider the counsel given by the Lord to Joseph Smith. “I, the Lord, am merciful and gracious unto those who fear me, and delight to honor those who serve me in righteousness and in truth unto the end. Great shall be their reward and eternal shall be their glory.” He wants to bless us. He is only waiting for us to choose to be pure in heart as He is. “And to them will I reveal all mysteries…. Yea, even the wonders of eternity shall they know…. For by my Spirit will I enlighten them….” (Doctrine & Covenants 76:5-8, 10) Sometimes, the greatest mysteries we do not understand have to do with the trials we experience in mortality. We wonder, and we want to know what the Lord expects of us. If we are faithful, He will tell us and make His mysteries known.

After the Lord taught Adam about the Gift of the Holy Ghost, Adam asked, “Why is it that men must repent and be baptized in water?” The Lord answered Adam and said that he was forgiven of his transgression in the Garden of Eden. Because his children were conceived in a world of sin, subject to mortal conditions, “sin conceiveth in their hearts, and they taste the bitter, that they may know to prize the good.” Therefore we have to teach them to repent or they cannot inherit the kingdom of God. (Moses 6:53-57)

The Lord then teaches Adam about baptism, and the powerful symbol it is for our conversion by comparing it to the birthing process. He said, “Therefore I give unto you a commandment, to teach these things freely unto your children saying: That by reason of transgression cometh the fall, which fall bringeth death, and inasmuch as ye were born into the world by water, and blood, and the spirit, which I have made, and so became of dust a living soul, even so ye must be born again into the kingdom of heaven, of water, and of the Spirit, and be cleansed by blood, even the blood of mine Only Begotten; that ye might be sanctified from all sin, and enjoy the words of eternal life in this world, and eternal life in the world to come, even immortal glory.” (Moses 6:58-59)

Inasmuch as ye were born into the world, even so ye must be born again into the kingdom of heaven. In order to do this we need to put off the natural man and allow the carnal, sensual, and devilish desires to die. When we do, then there is sufficient room for righteous desires to flourish and thrive. The womb has only so much room for a baby to develop. Our hearts likewise only have so much room for our faith to develop when crowded by other desires. The things that are conceived in our hearts will determine our actions, and the blessings and trials that are delivered to us. Devilish desires cause the heart to contract, while righteous desires cause the heart to expand as wide as eternity.

The Lord continues, “For by the water ye keep the commandment; by the Spirit ye are justified, and by the blood ye are sanctified.” (Moses 6:60) These three pieces are very important. The commandments, justification, and sanctification are all connected and are necessary for us to receive the grace of God.

We are commanded to be baptized because, among other things, it is a symbol of our spiritual death and cleansing. The water is symbolic of the protective water that surrounded us at the time of our first birth. Coming up out of the water represents our spiritual rebirth into heaven. As we keep this commandment we are justified because we have chosen to be pure. As a witness, the Holy Spirit enters our hearts and confirms this truth. It is the presence of His influence that allows us to be sanctified through the atoning blood of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Because of his blood that was dispersed for our sins, and because of His infinite grace that covers the things we cannot do for ourselves, we may truly become clean and not just by washing with water. The washing by water, symbolic of a temporal cleansing, prepares us for a deeper spiritual cleansing.

While baptism is a temporal act, its spiritual significance is much greater. Regarding the commandments given to Adam, the Lord said, “Wherefore, verily I say unto you that all things unto me are spiritual, and not at any time have I given unto you a law which was temporal; neither any man, nor the children of men; neither Adam, your father, whom I created. Behold, I gave unto him that he should be an agent unto himself; and I gave unto him commandment, but no temporal commandment gave I unto him, for my commandments are spiritual; they are not natural nor temporal, neither carnal nor sensual.” (Doctrine & Covenants 29:34-35)

By settling for lesser alternatives to God’s blessings, we show a weakness and tendency to appease the mortal body instead of God. However, when we are obedient to the commandments of God, we show that we are willing to submit the desires of our bodies to our spirits. We also demonstrate that we are willing to submit our spirits to the will of God.

Adam yielded to temptation when he was not accountable. After he gained knowledge and hearkened to God, then he yielded to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, that member of the Godhead who will be our constant companion and guide if we are wise and choose to receive Him.

When we receive the Holy Spirit in our lives, our actions, and all of our choices, his influence will permeate our hearts. He will then expand our hearts and our capacity to love God. He will sanctify our lives so there is more room for more faith. This faith will give us the courage to endure our trials and hold out for the promised blessings of the Lord without having to settle.

We all have powerful needs. When we cry unto God with all our hearts and look to Him to receive His promised blessings, He will provide for us, and He will deliver us.


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