I sat anxiously across from the owner of the company. He was positioned behind the desk in his office, accompanied with books and files and drawings. His appearance was very professional. I was intimidated. The principal owner had lots of experience while I had nothing but my willingness to offer; no experience, no skill or ability. I was just eager. My eyes were on him, and his eyes were on my résumé.
After perusing my small offering of ability, the owner asked me a number of questions. I don’t recall any of them now. I only remember the urgent need to find a job. My fiancé had recently accepted my proposal of marriage, but I had very little to offer her, only my willingness. Similar to the lyrics by Paul Simon, “I was as empty as a pocket with [everything] to lose.” My position was pretty weak. Fortunately, Liz had a lot of faith in me, and the interview was just enough.
The owner hired me. Deep sigh of relief. He took my weak position and limited ability, and he gave me a chance. It was an opportunity to show how I would perform for a short period of time. He made it clear that I would be on probation to see if the arrangement would be a good fit. I was grateful but still nervous. So much depended on landing and keeping my first real job. Everything hinged on my willingness to follow directions.
Some of my first assignments were pretty basic. I was the go-to person for tasks that didn’t require any experience. These tasks included sweeping the backroom, running deposits to the bank, and picking up lint off the floor. I was asked to keep the fax machine loaded with paper. I had heard of fax machines, but didn’t have a clue about how to use one, let alone keep it stocked. There were a few frustrating moments that required others to have patience with me as they taught me how to do small tasks. My job description matched my ability, but at least it was a start.
I felt very tenuous the next couple of months as I performed my duties, always wondering where I stood with my employer. Would he keep me? Was he satisfied? Did I meet his expectations? When he didn’t talk to me, did that mean that he was unhappy with me? I went home every night with some worry that I might be looking for another job soon. Again, fortunately for me, Liz and my employer had faith in my ability, and it was just enough.
As I started my follow-up interview, I was almost certain my employer was unhappy with my performance. I doubted myself and I let fear govern my thoughts. I contemplated the worst case scenarios and what I would do next. Contrary to my fears, the principal of the company reviewed my progress with me and thanked me for my work. He then asked me to continue with the firm. In an instant, my confidence was renewed and hope was restored. I could hardly wait to tell my fiancé that things were going to work out. So much of my attitude depended on that single validation.
Now that I, myself, am a principal in an architecture and planning firm, it is wonderful and gratifying to see how far I have come. I started at the bottom, and I continue to grow. There are many areas of experience I wish to develop, but they will take time, patience, and practice. While I am confident in my abilities to provide professional services, I am also glad I do not see a ceiling to my growth. There is plenty of room.
My current successes sometimes block out the memories of inadequacy I once felt, but they do not negate how real they were. I was quite worried. My fears were unfounded and without validation from my employer, but they were constant until I had some assurance. This memory reminds me of another experience I frequently have with inadequacy. However, my chair has moved to the other side of the desk.
On a regular basis, my responsibility in the church I attend allows me to meet with individuals who are preparing to worship in a Holy Temple. Part of their preparation involves an interview in which I ask them some questions about their worthiness to enter the Temple. The questions are simple and focus on their faith and ability to live a life patterned after the Savior Jesus Christ. The last question tends to generate some feelings of inadequacy in many instances, yet it is very important. “Do you consider yourself worthy to enter the Lord’s house and participate in temple ordinances?” Most of the questions I ask have short and confident answers. This last question often generates some discussion.
What does it mean to be worthy? Worthiness is not to be confused with perfection or holiness. Instead, worthiness represents adequate merit, worth, or value. It does not imply “arriving at the top.” The word should suggest our pursuit of that goal, and not the destination. The key word for me is “adequate,” meaning just enough. If I am required to have adequate faith, I do not need to have perfect faith. In fact, faith the size of a grain of mustard seed is adequate as long as my actions are “just enough.” I will still pursue this endeavor of increasing my faith, but it is not the measure of my worthiness.
Feelings of worthiness are often hampered by feelings of inadequacy. When we feel deficient or fall short of someone else’s expectations, we often feel that we lack worth or validity. We doubt ourselves without reassurance and a measure of validation. When we begin to lose confidence and question our worth, it is much easier to focus on our weaknesses. These are the moments where I feel that “weak” and “worthy” are at opposing sides of the desk, one scrutinizing and the other being scrutinized. However, I do not feel that this is always necessary.
Weaknesses, though not fun to admit to or deal with, can be a great blessing to the eager disciple of the Savior Jesus Christ. They become a gift when we see them for what they are. Yet again we find another application of our faith. I do not believe it is possible to have this clear of vision without faith in the only person who ever lived a perfect life in mortality. Believing in Jesus is believing that what He said is true, and that the words of His servants are also true.
Frustrated with his own ability to write, the prophet Moroni pled with the Lord over his weaknesses. The Lord responded, “if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” (Ether 12:27)
I can’t say that I like to admit that my weaknesses are a gift from God. To do so admits a responsibility and a stewardship. It is much easier to pray that our weaknesses are removed than to pray for strength to deal with them and master them. Once I begin to see with an eye of faith, however, the personal growth I have been hoping for is met with greater success. These accomplishments are items that are good to include on a spiritual résumé.
The Apostle Paul, in his second letter to church members in Corinth, described how the Lord had given him “a thorn in the flesh” to keep him humble. Three times Paul asked the Lord to remove this trial. The Lord’s response was, “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” Paul then states, “Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. …for when I am weak, then am I strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)
It wasn’t until after Paul heard the Lord’s explanation that he took pleasure in trials and afflictions. I don’t know that the experience became any more pleasurable than before, but Paul had faith that the Lord would lead him and make him stronger. I think some of the strength that I admire in Paul, is not just his ability to endure trials, but in his choice to submit willingly. The beauty of what the Lord told Moroni is that He will supply us with this strength when we humble ourselves before Him and have faith in him. Thus, the hardest part to admitting our weaknesses is not to find strength, but in deciding to have faith. Once we do, the Lord will provide the grace, the strength, and the witness that we desire. But it is only after we turn to Him and allow our faith to be tested.
Moroni further compares this type of faith with that of the brother of Jared’s. It is the ability to see with an “eye of faith,” or to receive a witness and see the things that we first believed. (Ether 12:19) This is another key to rending the veil of unbelief, to believe without seeing. When we begin to see our weaknesses for what they are, as gifts from God, we are entitled to His promise, “And because thou hast seen thy weakness thou shalt be made strong, even unto the sitting down in the place which I have prepared in the mansions of my Father.” (Ether 12:37) It isn’t just seeing our weakness, but seeing it with an eye of faith that merits the promise.
If we wish to have the faith of the brother of Jared, the conversion of Peter, and the strength of Paul, it all starts with the faith to become. Not only do we become converted, we become worthy. It is our faith the Lord wants, stored up in our hearts. If we are willing to offer this gift, it is enough. It is adequate. Then His grace will cover our debts, our sins, and our transgressions. Both Paul and Moroni stated that His grace is “sufficient” to save us when we have faith. I find it interesting that the word sufficient also means enough.
It is one thing to worry about being worthy to enter the Lord’s house and worship Him in the Holy Temple. It is another to wonder if I am worthy to enter the presence of God and live with Him again in heaven. I do not believe it insignificant that the Holy Temple is the house of God, or the place where God dwells. Whether it is His dwelling here on earth or our home in heaven to which we hope to return, we should be diligent in doing enough to be worthy of both. This would suggest that a worthiness to enter the Lord’s house would equate to worthiness to return to His presence. I believe this to be true with one additional validation – the key to truly being worthy.
The Lord revealed to Joseph Smith that, “It is impossible for man to be saved in ignorance.” (Doctrine & Covenants 131:6) It is God’s will that we know where we stand before Him. To this end He gives His children the Gift of the Holy Ghost. As the Lord taught Adam, “by the Spirit ye are justified….” (Moses 6:60) The Holy Ghost will not only confirm the validity of truth, He will confirm to us that what we are doing is either right or wrong. He will bear witness to our spirits and let us know when our path is pleasing to God. In this way, when we feel the presence and influence of the Holy Spirit near to us, we may with confidence know that our will is aligned with God’s.
Rather than feeling inadequate or worried about whether we are worthy to obtain the highest degree of heaven, we can ask the Lord where we stand and receive His own validation. In a revelation on the Holy Priesthood, the Lord further taught Joseph Smith an important key. He said, “Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.” (Doctrine & Covenants 121:45)
With charity, the pure love of Christ, and virtue, which is a conformity to righteous principles, we can stand confident in the presence of God. This confidence isn’t because we become anything of ourselves, but because we are doing more and more of what God has asked us to do. The more we become obedient to God and focus outward on His children, the more confidence we can obtain. He is the source of true confidence. When we do what He has taught, there is no need to fear. When we put our trust in Him, He will see us through our trials. And then, “The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever.” (Doctrine & Covenants 121:46)
As we consider the commandment of the Savior to “be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect,” we are met with a paradox – we are to be humble but confident, weak and yet strong. The paradox becomes clearer when we remember how Father wants us to grow. He wants us to turn to Him and rely on Him for strength.
Without a focus on God and the assurance from the Holy Spirit that we are making good choices, worthiness could be measured by simply marking a checklist. It would then be too easy to be like others the Lord has warned against. “They draw near to me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me, they teach for doctrines the commandments of men, having a form of godliness, but they deny the power thereof.” (Joseph Smith–History 1:19)
When we put our trust in the Lord with an eye of faith, we do not have to be afraid of being weak. He will make us strong. When we become strong as we are doing only that which He has asked us to do, we need not fear being too confident, not if our confidence comes from Him. When we acknowledge that all powers, gifts, and blessings come from God, He will give us more which in turn will eliminate all our feelings of inadequacy. When we are willing to submit to His will, one choice at a time, it is just enough to get us moving in the right direction.
Feeling inadequate is an experience I would rather do without. Whether it is interviewing for a job, preparing to go to the temple, or preparing to go to our heavenly home, having the right assurance makes all the difference.
I felt a lot of anxiety over my first job. I wanted to know if my work was acceptable. I hoped I was going in the right direction. Most of all, I wanted to know that I was going to make it. Now, more than wanting to keep a job, I want to be faithful in keeping the Holy Spirit as my constant companion. So much of eternity depends on keeping our second estate here on earth. Everything hinges on our willingness to follow directions during our mortal probation.
Perfection is a lofty goal, but it can be obtained, at least eventually. I don’t have to feel inadequate because I am not there yet. I can still be worthy of God’s promised blessings. With an eye of faith, and an ability to see our weaknesses for what they are, we can be worthy without being perfect. In this way, we become worthy of perfection. We do this in spite of our weaknesses, and often with them. God is willing to take our weak position and limited ability and give us a chance to work for Him in His kingdom. When He validates our worthiness by the presence of His Holy Spirit, we have nothing to fear.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Showing posts with label Strength. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Strength. Show all posts
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Then Shall Thy Light Break Forth as the Morning
You might say I have been fortunate to see several beautiful sunrises the last couple weeks. Or perhaps you might think that I haven’t had enough good fortune to sleep in as often as I would like. In turn I might say it depends on how you look at it.
A week ago I found myself discovering what it is like to watch the clock through the night when you can’t get to sleep. This is a rare thing for me. I was camping near the Utah/Wyoming border and I knew it would be cold at night. However, I was not prepared for the severe temperature swings as hot days would descend to freezing conditions after dark. Consequently, my body would not accommodate my fatigue and I spent the entirety of one night walking and thinking.
Just before dawn, I noticed that some of the stars were disappearing. They had been my only friends during the night, and they seemed to be fading – a condition that occurs every morning when dark yields to dawn. The change is so gradual, though, that I only notice if I am looking. I was sad to see familiar constellations slowly vanish.
I don’t remember why the night always seems coldest before dawn. I only know I have experienced it enough not to question the principle. While I’m sure it has been explained to me before, the logic still escapes my memory. As I stood in a meadow of sage brush with a blanket wrapped around my shoulders and coat beneath, I looked to the horizon, waiting. It was a prayerful moment for me, perhaps one that I will never forget. Not only was I awaiting the renewed warmth of morning, I was also considering some things that I had recently given up.
As the sun approached the skyline from behind the distant mountains, the lower sky began to glow brighter and brighter until the first sharp glimpse of the sun demanded my attention and announced the dawn of a new day. The brilliant sliver of light, often described as the crack of dawn, was visible but was not quite enough to illuminate the ground. I could see it in the distance, but the ground remained in shadow. Slowly, as the sun mounted the sky, the light touched the ground where I stood. Simultaneously, deeper shadows also appeared long and thin across the landscape. It was as though night made one last attempt to cast dark around me and then was forced to retreat. Within moments, I could feel warmer air around me. I eventually folded my blanket and removed my coat. Was I tired? Yes. Very. But, oh, how beautiful that morning was to me.
I have recently been pondering the writings of Isaiah where he described a gospel principle in a similar way. Though his words have been on my mind extensively for a couple weeks, I didn’t see the comparison until this morning. I may have given up a night of sleep, or other things that were important to me, but Isaiah has sharpened my focus as to why I should sacrifice.
You might say that the writings of a prophet like Isaiah are confusing. Or perhaps you find his words to be poetic and beautiful. In turn I might say, it depends on how you look at it. But you won’t know until you look.
Isaiah spoke of personal sacrifice through the law of the fast as a source of tremendous and needed blessings. In Isaiah 58:6-7, Isaiah speaks for the Lord who said, “Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke? Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house? when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh?”
In these two verses, Isaiah teaches us that there is great personal power and strength for others when we are willing to give up something that we need very much. The Lord has prepared and chosen the law of the fast to help us overcome weaknesses, trials, illness, and other afflictions. In the process of trusting the Lord and seeking His help, we can also be the means of helping others in the process. But you won’t know until you look for them.
A common practice when fasting is to abstain from food or drink for two meals and then give the portion that would have been consumed, or the equivalent in what we would have spent on that food, to those who are in need. Bishops are entrusted with the responsibility to collect this excess and then care for the poor and needy. Our simple offerings can do much to help others in need. It is when we do this that we receive the blessings promised by Isaiah in verses 8-12 of the same chapter.
“Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the Lord shall be thy rereward. Then shalt thou call, and the Lord shall answer; thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I am.”
The light that breaks forth for us in the morning is more welcome after a long night. Jesus Christ is the light that we should seek. He can give us sight when we are blind and warmth when we are cold. He will enlighten our minds through the Holy Ghost and give us comfort. These are some of the promised blessings when we honor the letter and intent of the law of the fast. Our meager offerings will go before us and will bring additional blessings. The Lord will cover our efforts and the places we may fall short. What a blessing it is to know that God does hear and answer the prayers of those who believe in Him.
God has also promised blessings to those who obey. Note the conditions and blessings in the following if/then statement: “If thou take away from the midst of thee the yoke, the putting forth of the finger, and speaking vanity; And if thou draw out thy soul to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted soul; then shall thy light rise in obscurity, and thy darkness be as the noonday: And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not. And they that shall be of thee shall build the old waste places: thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations; and thou shalt be called, The repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in.”
I have found all too often that I trip on my own roadblocks; I set up my own obstacles. I place an undue yoke upon my shoulders when I doubt and instead rely upon my own strength. Truly it is vanity when I attempt to find happiness on a road that does not lead there. I may as well search for more light in the darkness with a vain expectation of finding it. Sadly, we often create our own darkness through the choices we make. Then we look for the dawn, wondering when it will come.
If we listen to Isaiah, we will take away our self-imposed yokes. We will remove the veil of vanity and unbelief. We will then turn to those who are less fortunate and see to their needs. Then will our light rise out of obscurity. Then will our paths be restored with a clearer vision of what we need to do to keep the light in our lives.
For me the intent of the law of the fast is for me to give up something I need very much to show my dependence and trust in the Lord. As my physical strength is lessened, I have to turn to God for spiritual strength to sustain me. This very small act reconditions us and trains us to do difficult things. It helps us gain mastery over our own wants and needs. We then grow in confidence as virtue garnishes our thoughts and our hearts are filled with charity for others. Each time I transfer my selfish energy towards helping someone else in need, I take a step closer to becoming like the Savior, Jesus Christ.
Fasting helps us find the strength within to go without. For me, going without can have two meanings. We can go without the things we need to sharpen our attention towards spiritual things. We can also go without, or outside ourselves, to help others with their wants and needs. This action brings blessings to us and those we serve. Both meanings will often require added strength to accomplish.
I also believe that fasting alone is not enough. With a wry smile, I tell my children that fasting without a purpose is just starving. Our attitude can make all the difference. When we fast with the right intent, and our prayers provide added purpose, miracles can happen.
When Jesus returned from the mount of transfiguration with Peter, James, and John, he found the other nine apostles a bit discouraged. They had tried to help a man cast a spirit out from his son. The apostles had failed and asked Jesus why they could not help the man’s son. Jesus replied in Matthew 17:20-21, "Because of your unbelief.... Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting." Not only did he teach them that prayer and fasting can increase our faith, it can also give us added strength to do the things God has commanded us to do. I may not be possessed of an evil spirit, but there are times I allow myself to be controlled by a spirit of fear. That mood or temperament can similarly be dispelled by honoring the intent of the law.
I think it may be worth pondering other ways that we might apply the principle of fasting in our lives – ways in which we might give up something we want or need to bless the life of someone else. Fasting is yet another principle with promise.
You might say that fasting feels like a task to be endured. Or perhaps you have found that it is a better experience than you once thought. In turn, I might say, it depends on how you look at it. If we look to meet the intent, then shall thy light break forth as the morning. I don’t know that you can fully appreciate a sunrise until you have seen it for yourself. How blessed we are when it comes.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
A week ago I found myself discovering what it is like to watch the clock through the night when you can’t get to sleep. This is a rare thing for me. I was camping near the Utah/Wyoming border and I knew it would be cold at night. However, I was not prepared for the severe temperature swings as hot days would descend to freezing conditions after dark. Consequently, my body would not accommodate my fatigue and I spent the entirety of one night walking and thinking.
Just before dawn, I noticed that some of the stars were disappearing. They had been my only friends during the night, and they seemed to be fading – a condition that occurs every morning when dark yields to dawn. The change is so gradual, though, that I only notice if I am looking. I was sad to see familiar constellations slowly vanish.
I don’t remember why the night always seems coldest before dawn. I only know I have experienced it enough not to question the principle. While I’m sure it has been explained to me before, the logic still escapes my memory. As I stood in a meadow of sage brush with a blanket wrapped around my shoulders and coat beneath, I looked to the horizon, waiting. It was a prayerful moment for me, perhaps one that I will never forget. Not only was I awaiting the renewed warmth of morning, I was also considering some things that I had recently given up.
As the sun approached the skyline from behind the distant mountains, the lower sky began to glow brighter and brighter until the first sharp glimpse of the sun demanded my attention and announced the dawn of a new day. The brilliant sliver of light, often described as the crack of dawn, was visible but was not quite enough to illuminate the ground. I could see it in the distance, but the ground remained in shadow. Slowly, as the sun mounted the sky, the light touched the ground where I stood. Simultaneously, deeper shadows also appeared long and thin across the landscape. It was as though night made one last attempt to cast dark around me and then was forced to retreat. Within moments, I could feel warmer air around me. I eventually folded my blanket and removed my coat. Was I tired? Yes. Very. But, oh, how beautiful that morning was to me.
I have recently been pondering the writings of Isaiah where he described a gospel principle in a similar way. Though his words have been on my mind extensively for a couple weeks, I didn’t see the comparison until this morning. I may have given up a night of sleep, or other things that were important to me, but Isaiah has sharpened my focus as to why I should sacrifice.
You might say that the writings of a prophet like Isaiah are confusing. Or perhaps you find his words to be poetic and beautiful. In turn I might say, it depends on how you look at it. But you won’t know until you look.
Isaiah spoke of personal sacrifice through the law of the fast as a source of tremendous and needed blessings. In Isaiah 58:6-7, Isaiah speaks for the Lord who said, “Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke? Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house? when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh?”
In these two verses, Isaiah teaches us that there is great personal power and strength for others when we are willing to give up something that we need very much. The Lord has prepared and chosen the law of the fast to help us overcome weaknesses, trials, illness, and other afflictions. In the process of trusting the Lord and seeking His help, we can also be the means of helping others in the process. But you won’t know until you look for them.
A common practice when fasting is to abstain from food or drink for two meals and then give the portion that would have been consumed, or the equivalent in what we would have spent on that food, to those who are in need. Bishops are entrusted with the responsibility to collect this excess and then care for the poor and needy. Our simple offerings can do much to help others in need. It is when we do this that we receive the blessings promised by Isaiah in verses 8-12 of the same chapter.
“Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the Lord shall be thy rereward. Then shalt thou call, and the Lord shall answer; thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I am.”
The light that breaks forth for us in the morning is more welcome after a long night. Jesus Christ is the light that we should seek. He can give us sight when we are blind and warmth when we are cold. He will enlighten our minds through the Holy Ghost and give us comfort. These are some of the promised blessings when we honor the letter and intent of the law of the fast. Our meager offerings will go before us and will bring additional blessings. The Lord will cover our efforts and the places we may fall short. What a blessing it is to know that God does hear and answer the prayers of those who believe in Him.
God has also promised blessings to those who obey. Note the conditions and blessings in the following if/then statement: “If thou take away from the midst of thee the yoke, the putting forth of the finger, and speaking vanity; And if thou draw out thy soul to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted soul; then shall thy light rise in obscurity, and thy darkness be as the noonday: And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not. And they that shall be of thee shall build the old waste places: thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations; and thou shalt be called, The repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in.”
I have found all too often that I trip on my own roadblocks; I set up my own obstacles. I place an undue yoke upon my shoulders when I doubt and instead rely upon my own strength. Truly it is vanity when I attempt to find happiness on a road that does not lead there. I may as well search for more light in the darkness with a vain expectation of finding it. Sadly, we often create our own darkness through the choices we make. Then we look for the dawn, wondering when it will come.
If we listen to Isaiah, we will take away our self-imposed yokes. We will remove the veil of vanity and unbelief. We will then turn to those who are less fortunate and see to their needs. Then will our light rise out of obscurity. Then will our paths be restored with a clearer vision of what we need to do to keep the light in our lives.
For me the intent of the law of the fast is for me to give up something I need very much to show my dependence and trust in the Lord. As my physical strength is lessened, I have to turn to God for spiritual strength to sustain me. This very small act reconditions us and trains us to do difficult things. It helps us gain mastery over our own wants and needs. We then grow in confidence as virtue garnishes our thoughts and our hearts are filled with charity for others. Each time I transfer my selfish energy towards helping someone else in need, I take a step closer to becoming like the Savior, Jesus Christ.
Fasting helps us find the strength within to go without. For me, going without can have two meanings. We can go without the things we need to sharpen our attention towards spiritual things. We can also go without, or outside ourselves, to help others with their wants and needs. This action brings blessings to us and those we serve. Both meanings will often require added strength to accomplish.
I also believe that fasting alone is not enough. With a wry smile, I tell my children that fasting without a purpose is just starving. Our attitude can make all the difference. When we fast with the right intent, and our prayers provide added purpose, miracles can happen.
When Jesus returned from the mount of transfiguration with Peter, James, and John, he found the other nine apostles a bit discouraged. They had tried to help a man cast a spirit out from his son. The apostles had failed and asked Jesus why they could not help the man’s son. Jesus replied in Matthew 17:20-21, "Because of your unbelief.... Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting." Not only did he teach them that prayer and fasting can increase our faith, it can also give us added strength to do the things God has commanded us to do. I may not be possessed of an evil spirit, but there are times I allow myself to be controlled by a spirit of fear. That mood or temperament can similarly be dispelled by honoring the intent of the law.
I think it may be worth pondering other ways that we might apply the principle of fasting in our lives – ways in which we might give up something we want or need to bless the life of someone else. Fasting is yet another principle with promise.
You might say that fasting feels like a task to be endured. Or perhaps you have found that it is a better experience than you once thought. In turn, I might say, it depends on how you look at it. If we look to meet the intent, then shall thy light break forth as the morning. I don’t know that you can fully appreciate a sunrise until you have seen it for yourself. How blessed we are when it comes.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Angels Landing
I’m afraid of heights. I don’t know why but looking down from very high places has always troubled me. On one particular excursion to the state capitol, my Dad had to carry me up the front steps because I was certain I would fall to my death otherwise. Perhaps it had something to do with being pushed head first off of a stage when I was little. All the same, I have just learned to admit my fear.
A year ago I was invited to go with some young college students to Zion National Park in Utah. It was autumn and the intense summer heat was no longer present. I accepted the invitation, not knowing much about the hike they were planning.
The trail they had in mind, Angels Landing, was supposedly fairly short with an incredible view. The red rock cliffs were beautiful from below. They were so grand and tall that I hadn’t even considered we might attempt to climb them.
Half way up the trail my heart started to pound. We had just left safe inclines and protective cliffs at our sides for a terrifying view of the remainder of the trail. It was breathtaking on more than one point. I recognized that we were about to cross the top of the precipice I had been admiring from below. What I didn’t know before was that the top was really a narrow land bridge. It seemed to be about four feet wide with a 1,400 foot sheer drop on either side.
Suddenly an old adage came to mind. “Fools walk where angles fear to tread.” Yeah, I know - lot’s of people were hiking it, but it still looked foolish. Walking on a tightrope always seemed insane too. Just then a young mother with a small baby strapped on her back came bouncing across like a mountain goat. She seemed completely unaware that there was a life-threatening cliff ready to gobble her up with her progeny. I made no effort to tell her. I just watched with a strange mixture of admiration and contempt.
As the rest of my party started to pass me on the trail, I found myself faced with a difficult decision. “Should I risk my life or just wait here where it is safe?” I considered, debated, and rationalized. This was one time that I wanted to listen to the voice in my head – afraid as it was. But another part of me wanted to see the top. “You will never know what it was like if you don’t go.”
More people passed me in my state of indecision. I took comfort in the fact that I wasn’t the only one negotiating my fears. A number of people had simply sat down, content to watch the others commit suicide. In failing to make a decision, I was deciding to become one of the bystanders.
Finally a thought gripped me harder than my fear. I believed that I could not make it, but did I know? How could I know unless I had tried? If I gave up, certainly I would be safe. On the other hand, nothing prevented me from going a little further. Even if I couldn’t make it all the way to the top, I could do a little more. It was at that point that my mind became clearer. I wouldn’t stop unless something stopped me. I would do as much as I possibly could before I gave up.
The land bridge had a chain rail to hold onto, which I did desperately. After that, the top of the bridge widened and had no chain. I found myself doing a sort of crab walk with my back to the ground. I went a little further then a little further.
After I had crossed the bridge, I faced my next obstacle. At that point the trail went almost vertical with additional chains to hold onto in order to manage the ascent. I again swallowed my fear and began to climb. It wasn’t easy to block out my awareness of the drop below. The key was to keep moving. As long as I was moving I could focus on my footing rather than my fear.
Making it to the top was an amazing accomplishment. My fears kept me pretty low to the ground, but what an amazing sight lay before me! I could never imagine it had I not gone the length of the trail. It wasn’t only what I saw, but what I felt that thrilled me. I had conquered my fears.
I would be amiss if I didn’t acknowledge that I had offered a number of prayers along the way. Father heard me. He gave me the courage to keep going. Even more than courage, He gave me a feeling of persistence that kept me from quitting. Of the two, I think the latter played a greater role.
There are many parts of life that are strait and narrow. Others seem steep and treacherous. Sometimes my challenges seem too difficult to negotiate or too big to tackle. I am grateful for the occasional reminder from the spirit that I am the offspring of God. He is my father. That simple thought gives me courage to try things that seem impossible, especially if I know he is the one asking me.
No one is perfect, but I have a lot more confidence when I know I have done everything I possibly can. I know that Father will help us through difficult times if we seek Him. As the angel, Gabriel, told Mary, “For with God nothing shall be impossible.” I believe this to be especially true in our attempts to overcome our sins and weaknesses. Some may be excruciatingly difficult to attempt, but we can repent through the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ. He has already paid the price. It’s up to us to begin the climb.
I don’t think I will ever forget Angels Landing. In addition, I have a better mental image of the reward that is waiting if I can ignore my fears and keep going.
A year ago I was invited to go with some young college students to Zion National Park in Utah. It was autumn and the intense summer heat was no longer present. I accepted the invitation, not knowing much about the hike they were planning.
The trail they had in mind, Angels Landing, was supposedly fairly short with an incredible view. The red rock cliffs were beautiful from below. They were so grand and tall that I hadn’t even considered we might attempt to climb them.
Half way up the trail my heart started to pound. We had just left safe inclines and protective cliffs at our sides for a terrifying view of the remainder of the trail. It was breathtaking on more than one point. I recognized that we were about to cross the top of the precipice I had been admiring from below. What I didn’t know before was that the top was really a narrow land bridge. It seemed to be about four feet wide with a 1,400 foot sheer drop on either side.
Suddenly an old adage came to mind. “Fools walk where angles fear to tread.” Yeah, I know - lot’s of people were hiking it, but it still looked foolish. Walking on a tightrope always seemed insane too. Just then a young mother with a small baby strapped on her back came bouncing across like a mountain goat. She seemed completely unaware that there was a life-threatening cliff ready to gobble her up with her progeny. I made no effort to tell her. I just watched with a strange mixture of admiration and contempt.
As the rest of my party started to pass me on the trail, I found myself faced with a difficult decision. “Should I risk my life or just wait here where it is safe?” I considered, debated, and rationalized. This was one time that I wanted to listen to the voice in my head – afraid as it was. But another part of me wanted to see the top. “You will never know what it was like if you don’t go.”
More people passed me in my state of indecision. I took comfort in the fact that I wasn’t the only one negotiating my fears. A number of people had simply sat down, content to watch the others commit suicide. In failing to make a decision, I was deciding to become one of the bystanders.
Finally a thought gripped me harder than my fear. I believed that I could not make it, but did I know? How could I know unless I had tried? If I gave up, certainly I would be safe. On the other hand, nothing prevented me from going a little further. Even if I couldn’t make it all the way to the top, I could do a little more. It was at that point that my mind became clearer. I wouldn’t stop unless something stopped me. I would do as much as I possibly could before I gave up.
The land bridge had a chain rail to hold onto, which I did desperately. After that, the top of the bridge widened and had no chain. I found myself doing a sort of crab walk with my back to the ground. I went a little further then a little further.
After I had crossed the bridge, I faced my next obstacle. At that point the trail went almost vertical with additional chains to hold onto in order to manage the ascent. I again swallowed my fear and began to climb. It wasn’t easy to block out my awareness of the drop below. The key was to keep moving. As long as I was moving I could focus on my footing rather than my fear.
Making it to the top was an amazing accomplishment. My fears kept me pretty low to the ground, but what an amazing sight lay before me! I could never imagine it had I not gone the length of the trail. It wasn’t only what I saw, but what I felt that thrilled me. I had conquered my fears.
I would be amiss if I didn’t acknowledge that I had offered a number of prayers along the way. Father heard me. He gave me the courage to keep going. Even more than courage, He gave me a feeling of persistence that kept me from quitting. Of the two, I think the latter played a greater role.
There are many parts of life that are strait and narrow. Others seem steep and treacherous. Sometimes my challenges seem too difficult to negotiate or too big to tackle. I am grateful for the occasional reminder from the spirit that I am the offspring of God. He is my father. That simple thought gives me courage to try things that seem impossible, especially if I know he is the one asking me.
No one is perfect, but I have a lot more confidence when I know I have done everything I possibly can. I know that Father will help us through difficult times if we seek Him. As the angel, Gabriel, told Mary, “For with God nothing shall be impossible.” I believe this to be especially true in our attempts to overcome our sins and weaknesses. Some may be excruciatingly difficult to attempt, but we can repent through the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ. He has already paid the price. It’s up to us to begin the climb.
I don’t think I will ever forget Angels Landing. In addition, I have a better mental image of the reward that is waiting if I can ignore my fears and keep going.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Kinda Hungry
Driving home the other day I noticed a little light appear on the dashboard of my car. The symbol of a gas pump was an indicator that I was running low on fuel. Knowing that many drivers are like me, the light was designed to turn on in advance to protect the driver from being stalled on the road. I’m never excited to see the light, especially with rising gas prices, but I am grateful for the warning.
Fortunately I haven’t run completely out of gas for several years. The last time I did, I was lucky to have a cell phone with me. I called my wife and she helped me on the side of the freeway.
The incident reminds me of a parable Jesus told to his disciples about ten virgins who had gathered for a wedding. They were waiting for the bridegroom, but half of them did not bring oil for their lamps. When the bridegroom finally arrived, it was later than they had expected and they were not prepared. The five who lacked oil left to buy more and were not able to attend the wedding. What a sad ending to a happy story, at least for those who weren’t prepared. (See St. Matthew 25:1-13)
I wonder if a dashboard indicator would have been helpful to the five who missed the wedding. Wouldn’t it be nice to have an appropriate warning that you are running low on fuel? Whether it is increasing dusk or an emptying fuel tank, lack of preparation is something that creeps up on us if we are not watching.
The oil referred to in the parable is a symbol our spiritual preparation. This example prompts the question, “Do I have enough faith to sustain me through sunset that may precede the wedding?” The foolish virgins had lamps but chose to ignore the lack of fuel.
Fortunately we each have a low-fuel indicator to warn us. The light of Christ is given to everyone to know right from wrong. The question is whether or not we choose to act. I believe we can recognize these spiritual warnings in much the same way that we receive physical warnings from our body when we are hungry.
My young children have a tendency to become grumpy when they are hungry or tired. Basic functions of the body are strained because the supply of nourishment is inadequate. They compensate by subconsciously diverting available but limited energy away from their good manners to more important priorities.
The older I get, the more I realize that I am no different from my children. My circumstances are more sophisticated, perhaps, but I have the same motivations for comfort and satisfaction that they do.
One difference between me and my children is my ability to recognize what my body is trying to tell me. It’s one of the things that we get with age and experience. When I get hungry, I am quicker to recognize what the problem is. I often feel a need for nourishment before it becomes critical. Quite often I am able to recognize what type of food my body is lacking, be it protein, carbohydrates, or some sort of vegetable. This is simply because I have a craving or appetite for a certain type of food.
Communication to our spirit happens in much the same fashion. Warnings come from the Holy Ghost as feelings or impressions. Instead of the calm peaceful feeling that comes when we are doing what is right, the impression may be that something is missing, or that we are running low on strength. As we learn to recognize these promptings, and act on them without delay, we can keep ourselves properly nourished.
The spiritual fuel we need is that which sustains and increases faith. It is the word of God given through revelation to his servants the prophets and recorded for our use.
The ancient Israelites were given manna daily by God to sustain them. Jesus taught that he was the bread of life and the staff that would uphold us. It is his word that we are invited to feast upon. There are junk food counterfeits that seem to satisfy for a while, but they do not sustain us. Only the word of God will satisfy us and stay with us.
I am grateful for inspired individuals who have recorded God’s word for our benefit. Like the ancient prophet, Nephi, I feel to say, “my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.” He recorded his experiences and inspiration from God so that others could feast upon them as well. Nephi stated, “And upon these I write the things of my soul…. For my soul delighteth in the scriptures, and my heart pondereth them, and writeth them for the learning and profit of my children. (2 Nephi 4:15, 16)
We live in a time when our fuel tends to run out quicker. The opposition to making good choices is increasing. I see many who are looking for a clear direction but are confused about what is right and wrong. There are also those who are quick to offer spiritual junk food in this climate of confusion. Instead, we need to be consistent in providing proper nourishment for our spirits. We need the word of God.
Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Men have come to speak of revelation as somewhat long ago given and done, as if God were dead. It is my duty to say to you, that the need was never greater of new revelation than now. It is the office of a true teacher to show us that God is, not was; that He speaketh, not spake.”
How blessed we are to live in a time when apostles and prophets still teach us God’s word. They are not just spiritual leaders of ancient history, but are an active part of God’s plan for his children. God still speaks to his prophets and they do in fact still teach his children. One such opportunity is approaching in a couple weeks at a General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints.
Whether it be through scripture recorded by prophets gone before, or the word of the Lord through living prophets and apostles, the word of the Lord is sweet to me. It brings peace to my heart and light for my path.
I know God lives. I know He loves us, and He wants us to know just how much. His words will heal us. They will sustain us in difficult times and increase our gratitude in times of plenty. I am grateful for the scriptures and the words of the prophets. They always satisfy my hunger.
Fortunately I haven’t run completely out of gas for several years. The last time I did, I was lucky to have a cell phone with me. I called my wife and she helped me on the side of the freeway.
The incident reminds me of a parable Jesus told to his disciples about ten virgins who had gathered for a wedding. They were waiting for the bridegroom, but half of them did not bring oil for their lamps. When the bridegroom finally arrived, it was later than they had expected and they were not prepared. The five who lacked oil left to buy more and were not able to attend the wedding. What a sad ending to a happy story, at least for those who weren’t prepared. (See St. Matthew 25:1-13)
I wonder if a dashboard indicator would have been helpful to the five who missed the wedding. Wouldn’t it be nice to have an appropriate warning that you are running low on fuel? Whether it is increasing dusk or an emptying fuel tank, lack of preparation is something that creeps up on us if we are not watching.
The oil referred to in the parable is a symbol our spiritual preparation. This example prompts the question, “Do I have enough faith to sustain me through sunset that may precede the wedding?” The foolish virgins had lamps but chose to ignore the lack of fuel.
Fortunately we each have a low-fuel indicator to warn us. The light of Christ is given to everyone to know right from wrong. The question is whether or not we choose to act. I believe we can recognize these spiritual warnings in much the same way that we receive physical warnings from our body when we are hungry.
My young children have a tendency to become grumpy when they are hungry or tired. Basic functions of the body are strained because the supply of nourishment is inadequate. They compensate by subconsciously diverting available but limited energy away from their good manners to more important priorities.
The older I get, the more I realize that I am no different from my children. My circumstances are more sophisticated, perhaps, but I have the same motivations for comfort and satisfaction that they do.
One difference between me and my children is my ability to recognize what my body is trying to tell me. It’s one of the things that we get with age and experience. When I get hungry, I am quicker to recognize what the problem is. I often feel a need for nourishment before it becomes critical. Quite often I am able to recognize what type of food my body is lacking, be it protein, carbohydrates, or some sort of vegetable. This is simply because I have a craving or appetite for a certain type of food.
Communication to our spirit happens in much the same fashion. Warnings come from the Holy Ghost as feelings or impressions. Instead of the calm peaceful feeling that comes when we are doing what is right, the impression may be that something is missing, or that we are running low on strength. As we learn to recognize these promptings, and act on them without delay, we can keep ourselves properly nourished.
The spiritual fuel we need is that which sustains and increases faith. It is the word of God given through revelation to his servants the prophets and recorded for our use.
The ancient Israelites were given manna daily by God to sustain them. Jesus taught that he was the bread of life and the staff that would uphold us. It is his word that we are invited to feast upon. There are junk food counterfeits that seem to satisfy for a while, but they do not sustain us. Only the word of God will satisfy us and stay with us.
I am grateful for inspired individuals who have recorded God’s word for our benefit. Like the ancient prophet, Nephi, I feel to say, “my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.” He recorded his experiences and inspiration from God so that others could feast upon them as well. Nephi stated, “And upon these I write the things of my soul…. For my soul delighteth in the scriptures, and my heart pondereth them, and writeth them for the learning and profit of my children. (2 Nephi 4:15, 16)
We live in a time when our fuel tends to run out quicker. The opposition to making good choices is increasing. I see many who are looking for a clear direction but are confused about what is right and wrong. There are also those who are quick to offer spiritual junk food in this climate of confusion. Instead, we need to be consistent in providing proper nourishment for our spirits. We need the word of God.
Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Men have come to speak of revelation as somewhat long ago given and done, as if God were dead. It is my duty to say to you, that the need was never greater of new revelation than now. It is the office of a true teacher to show us that God is, not was; that He speaketh, not spake.”
How blessed we are to live in a time when apostles and prophets still teach us God’s word. They are not just spiritual leaders of ancient history, but are an active part of God’s plan for his children. God still speaks to his prophets and they do in fact still teach his children. One such opportunity is approaching in a couple weeks at a General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints.
Whether it be through scripture recorded by prophets gone before, or the word of the Lord through living prophets and apostles, the word of the Lord is sweet to me. It brings peace to my heart and light for my path.
I know God lives. I know He loves us, and He wants us to know just how much. His words will heal us. They will sustain us in difficult times and increase our gratitude in times of plenty. I am grateful for the scriptures and the words of the prophets. They always satisfy my hunger.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Ready to Run
For most of my life, I have generally hated running. I never saw the point. It seemed like boredom with a faster pace and little reward. Funny, I used to think the same thing about eating my vegetables – there was just too much too quick.
My opinions started to change a few years ago when I realized I had gained weight at an average of about five pounds a year. That was a trend I wanted to make go away. So I changed my diet and started walking.
Within a short period of time I noticed that I felt a lot better. I had renewed energy, and I even felt younger. The place I would often go was peaceful and allowed me to de-stress. Over time I accelerated my pace and increased the distance I would travel. Eventually I found myself wondering, “I could probably go farther if I started running.” Since then, I have worn out the souls of my shoes and have become an avid runner.
“Runner’s high” was a feeling I had not experienced before, but it is definitely worth the effort. I loved it. Once I pushed past the threshold of casual effort and got my “second wind,” It was as though I had achieved a new level of freedom. I felt more confidence, strength, and ability. I could do more and it felt good.
Recently I went running in a canyon not far from my home. The road wasn’t too steep, but there was enough of an incline to get my heart rate up. As I began my ascent, a fortuitous wind came from behind and assisted me up the hill. It was almost as easy as running down the slope. I wish I could figure out how to get that kind of help more often.
Besides running for exercise, I often find myself running from one appointment or task to the next. People in our culture generally do, so chances are that you can relate. Keeping a fast pace with family, work, and other responsibilities can be very tiring at times. In fact I find that I get tired for a variety of reasons that aren’t always the same.
Regardless of the circumstances, the questions I seem to ask most are, “Am I going to make it?” or “How can I do everything that is expected of me.” We all have challenges to deal with. Sometimes, what I need to face them is additional strength. The way I find it is not much different from when I go running.
Have you noticed how dramatic children can be when they have stubbed a toe or bumped their arm on something hard? Yet if you can distract them, they suddenly forget all about the problem. I don’t think I am much different.
One strategy I have used to face my problems is to zoom out and focus on someone else. If I keep looking at my problem under a microscope, it doesn’t get any smaller. The alternative is to look at someone else’s problems and offer them some help. It’s a strange paradox, but somehow it works – my problems often seem less in comparison and I get a fresher perspective. The real benefit comes when I go beyond my comfort level, and a casual effort, to provide some meaningful service.
The Savior taught, “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” (St Matthew 25:40) I believe when we are on the Lord’s errand, we are greatly blessed with his help.
Jesus’ invitation to “come, follow me,” suggests that we haven’t arrived yet. We have to leave our comfort zone and become more like him. His call, however, does not stipulate a pace. He allows us to set our own speed. The important thing is to make sure our direction is constant and correct.
I know when we add service to our already busy lives, the Lord blesses us and gives us strength beyond our means. The Holy Ghost testifies to our minds and our hearts that our course is correct. He will also direct us in our thoughts and our efforts if we are listening.
There is a sweet peace that comes when we serve God, and when we serve those around us. It’s another wind that gives us strength. That special gift from the Holy Ghost makes running worth it.
My opinions started to change a few years ago when I realized I had gained weight at an average of about five pounds a year. That was a trend I wanted to make go away. So I changed my diet and started walking.
Within a short period of time I noticed that I felt a lot better. I had renewed energy, and I even felt younger. The place I would often go was peaceful and allowed me to de-stress. Over time I accelerated my pace and increased the distance I would travel. Eventually I found myself wondering, “I could probably go farther if I started running.” Since then, I have worn out the souls of my shoes and have become an avid runner.
“Runner’s high” was a feeling I had not experienced before, but it is definitely worth the effort. I loved it. Once I pushed past the threshold of casual effort and got my “second wind,” It was as though I had achieved a new level of freedom. I felt more confidence, strength, and ability. I could do more and it felt good.
Recently I went running in a canyon not far from my home. The road wasn’t too steep, but there was enough of an incline to get my heart rate up. As I began my ascent, a fortuitous wind came from behind and assisted me up the hill. It was almost as easy as running down the slope. I wish I could figure out how to get that kind of help more often.
Besides running for exercise, I often find myself running from one appointment or task to the next. People in our culture generally do, so chances are that you can relate. Keeping a fast pace with family, work, and other responsibilities can be very tiring at times. In fact I find that I get tired for a variety of reasons that aren’t always the same.
Regardless of the circumstances, the questions I seem to ask most are, “Am I going to make it?” or “How can I do everything that is expected of me.” We all have challenges to deal with. Sometimes, what I need to face them is additional strength. The way I find it is not much different from when I go running.
Have you noticed how dramatic children can be when they have stubbed a toe or bumped their arm on something hard? Yet if you can distract them, they suddenly forget all about the problem. I don’t think I am much different.
One strategy I have used to face my problems is to zoom out and focus on someone else. If I keep looking at my problem under a microscope, it doesn’t get any smaller. The alternative is to look at someone else’s problems and offer them some help. It’s a strange paradox, but somehow it works – my problems often seem less in comparison and I get a fresher perspective. The real benefit comes when I go beyond my comfort level, and a casual effort, to provide some meaningful service.
The Savior taught, “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” (St Matthew 25:40) I believe when we are on the Lord’s errand, we are greatly blessed with his help.
Jesus’ invitation to “come, follow me,” suggests that we haven’t arrived yet. We have to leave our comfort zone and become more like him. His call, however, does not stipulate a pace. He allows us to set our own speed. The important thing is to make sure our direction is constant and correct.
I know when we add service to our already busy lives, the Lord blesses us and gives us strength beyond our means. The Holy Ghost testifies to our minds and our hearts that our course is correct. He will also direct us in our thoughts and our efforts if we are listening.
There is a sweet peace that comes when we serve God, and when we serve those around us. It’s another wind that gives us strength. That special gift from the Holy Ghost makes running worth it.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Can’t Stop Travis Payne
Recently my friend, Travis, told me he had two and a half months to live – or so his doctor said. I sat amazed as he still smiled and cracked jokes. Travis thinks he will live longer than that. “It’s a state of mind and your will,” he said matter-of-factly. “Your will is stronger than the doctor’s diagnosis. That’s why I try to keep a positive attitude.”
I remarked to Travis that he was a hero. He asked why and I replied, “You inspire me. I’ve never met someone with so much enthusiasm for life in spite of personal challenges.” It’s a trait Travis has exhibited his whole life.
Travis Payne was born one of two twins in Gadston, Alabama. His other twin passed away a couple hours after birth. “I guess I was just stubborn then,” he said. “I was born with challenges. I have had challenges my whole life. That’s what has made me strong.”
Born with Cerebral Palsy, Travis was unable to walk for the first eight years of his life. A corrective surgery fused his knees together allowing him to use crutches. Travis had new mobility. “I’ve never been able to take the word no or can’t.”
“I lived my life as a healthy, normal kid,” said Travis. His father insisted that Travis attend a public school and not a school for special needs. After moving to Texas, he attended high school in Dallas and was on the disabled track team. “I ran with crutches. I had to keep buying new shoes and extra tips because they wore out all the time.” I asked when Travis gave up racing. “I think I still race,” he replied with a smile.
While attending Kilgore Junior College, Travis received word that two of his brothers had been in a boating accident. By the time he reached the hospital, they were both deceased.
Travis moved to Salt Lake City in 1994 and was diagnosed with MS shortly after. He continued his college education but was forced to give up the crutches for a wheel chair. “I have to thank God I’m able to take care of myself.” He refuses to be a prisoner in his own house. When hospice started to assist him, Travis refused to let them stay for more than three hours. “I don’t have very long to live and I’m going to live it the way I want to.” Travis still gets out and about and travels long distances in his wheelchair.
About a year ago Travis was diagnosed with Cancer. It appeared to go into remission for several months but was active again by December of 2007. At that point he was told he had six months to a year to live. When asked if that made him nervous, Travis replied, “Yes, a little. I don’t want to die yet.”
Travis recently saw the movie, “Bucket List,” where two men preparing to die make a list of things they want to do first. Afterwards, Travis decided to make a bucket list with a mutual friend named Brian. “Never in my life have I gone fishing, flown a kite, learned to drive, or learned to swim.” Together he and Brian have started working on the list. Unsure of whether he will get to do it or not, Travis put skydiving on his list. “I’m not going to have it said that I wasted my life.” One of the most important items on his list is to spend one full day with a good friend.
Travis still had a smile on his face (he is not in want of a sense of humor). When asked how he had found strength for each of his challenges, he told me a story.
“I find strength from my friends. I draw strength from anywhere I can get it. I find strength when I don’t think I have any left. It has to be the Lord,” he said. “It has to be the Holy Spirit.”
Travis said he was fifteen when he went to see a good friend in Kansas. Candy Jones was the step-daughter of his father’s best friend whom he and his father would occasionally visit. On that particular visit Candy seemed happier than he remembered seeing her before. Travis asked her what made the difference. “You need to read this book,” Candy replied, and then she handed him a copy of The Book of Mormon.
Travis decided to begin reading the book that night. He read about prophets in ancient America. He read the testimony of Joseph Smith, Jr. who translated the book. After reading for some time, Travis said he felt a calm peaceful feeling come over him. The next morning he told Candy about what he had read and the feeling he had had. “That is the Spirit,” Candy said.
Feeling the influence of the Holy Ghost was something that Travis was not familiar with. Candy explained that the feelings he had felt were how God let’s us know when things are true. Travis made arrangements to learn more when he got home. Believing the message to be true, Travis was baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints soon after on his sixteenth birthday.
“The gospel has given me understanding and peace in life. If I didn’t have the Lord in my life, and the belief in my life, I don’t think I would be smiling now.”
As I reflected on Travis’ story, I thought about my own experiences with the Holy Spirit. I also thought about the witness I had received concerning The Book of Mormon. I too know it is true. The word of the Lord is sweet to me as is the Holy Spirit. Like Travis, it gives me strength to keep going. The Savior, himself, told his disciples the key, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (St. John 14:27)
Thank you, Travis.
I remarked to Travis that he was a hero. He asked why and I replied, “You inspire me. I’ve never met someone with so much enthusiasm for life in spite of personal challenges.” It’s a trait Travis has exhibited his whole life.
Travis Payne was born one of two twins in Gadston, Alabama. His other twin passed away a couple hours after birth. “I guess I was just stubborn then,” he said. “I was born with challenges. I have had challenges my whole life. That’s what has made me strong.”
Born with Cerebral Palsy, Travis was unable to walk for the first eight years of his life. A corrective surgery fused his knees together allowing him to use crutches. Travis had new mobility. “I’ve never been able to take the word no or can’t.”
“I lived my life as a healthy, normal kid,” said Travis. His father insisted that Travis attend a public school and not a school for special needs. After moving to Texas, he attended high school in Dallas and was on the disabled track team. “I ran with crutches. I had to keep buying new shoes and extra tips because they wore out all the time.” I asked when Travis gave up racing. “I think I still race,” he replied with a smile.
While attending Kilgore Junior College, Travis received word that two of his brothers had been in a boating accident. By the time he reached the hospital, they were both deceased.
Travis moved to Salt Lake City in 1994 and was diagnosed with MS shortly after. He continued his college education but was forced to give up the crutches for a wheel chair. “I have to thank God I’m able to take care of myself.” He refuses to be a prisoner in his own house. When hospice started to assist him, Travis refused to let them stay for more than three hours. “I don’t have very long to live and I’m going to live it the way I want to.” Travis still gets out and about and travels long distances in his wheelchair.
About a year ago Travis was diagnosed with Cancer. It appeared to go into remission for several months but was active again by December of 2007. At that point he was told he had six months to a year to live. When asked if that made him nervous, Travis replied, “Yes, a little. I don’t want to die yet.”
Travis recently saw the movie, “Bucket List,” where two men preparing to die make a list of things they want to do first. Afterwards, Travis decided to make a bucket list with a mutual friend named Brian. “Never in my life have I gone fishing, flown a kite, learned to drive, or learned to swim.” Together he and Brian have started working on the list. Unsure of whether he will get to do it or not, Travis put skydiving on his list. “I’m not going to have it said that I wasted my life.” One of the most important items on his list is to spend one full day with a good friend.
Travis still had a smile on his face (he is not in want of a sense of humor). When asked how he had found strength for each of his challenges, he told me a story.
“I find strength from my friends. I draw strength from anywhere I can get it. I find strength when I don’t think I have any left. It has to be the Lord,” he said. “It has to be the Holy Spirit.”
Travis said he was fifteen when he went to see a good friend in Kansas. Candy Jones was the step-daughter of his father’s best friend whom he and his father would occasionally visit. On that particular visit Candy seemed happier than he remembered seeing her before. Travis asked her what made the difference. “You need to read this book,” Candy replied, and then she handed him a copy of The Book of Mormon.
Travis decided to begin reading the book that night. He read about prophets in ancient America. He read the testimony of Joseph Smith, Jr. who translated the book. After reading for some time, Travis said he felt a calm peaceful feeling come over him. The next morning he told Candy about what he had read and the feeling he had had. “That is the Spirit,” Candy said.
Feeling the influence of the Holy Ghost was something that Travis was not familiar with. Candy explained that the feelings he had felt were how God let’s us know when things are true. Travis made arrangements to learn more when he got home. Believing the message to be true, Travis was baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints soon after on his sixteenth birthday.
“The gospel has given me understanding and peace in life. If I didn’t have the Lord in my life, and the belief in my life, I don’t think I would be smiling now.”
As I reflected on Travis’ story, I thought about my own experiences with the Holy Spirit. I also thought about the witness I had received concerning The Book of Mormon. I too know it is true. The word of the Lord is sweet to me as is the Holy Spirit. Like Travis, it gives me strength to keep going. The Savior, himself, told his disciples the key, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (St. John 14:27)
Thank you, Travis.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
