Grumpalicious

I sometimes wonder if being grumpy is a technique that gets easier with age. Is it just practice that makes perfect, or does too much familiarity with life make it easier to complain to customer service? Either way I had another grumpy moment this week that I’m not proud of, and I’m going to chalk it up to age. Next, I’m going to figure it out and see if I can make myself a little younger by decreasing my grump proficiency.

My wife and I had just left a particular art gallery on Friday night, when I asked her, “Are you thirsty?” I was thinking large fruit smoothie. I could tell that she, on the other hand, was thinking, “We just spent our month’s date budget on eating out tonight. I’m not sure I want to spend more on a splurge.” She responded that she was thirsty, but water would do. Without verbalizing anything, even to myself, my mood changed. For the moment, being grumpy seemed about as delicious as the smoothie.

Grumpalicious is a term a friend of mine coined years ago as a nick-name for one of her younger brothers. It is a term that seems to describe very well one who is grumpy and is happy being so. On occasion, I have become aware that I have a grownup way of pouting when I don’t get what I want. Am I spoiled? I hope not. But perhaps I have more in common with my young children in that regard. Having said that, I am waiting for the predictable one-liner, “Well, I wonder where they get that from?” followed by a parenthetical wink and text message emoticon.

I don’t think my attitude is what the Savior had in mind when He taught his disciples, “Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:3) His conversion, I believe, refers to the other half of the equation. I’ve noticed that my kids don’t harbor bad feelings for very long. In fact, an ice cream frosty or some other treat can fix most ill feelings. While we may have pouting in common, in whatever form we choose, I have to ask, “How am I doing in the other half of the comparison. Am I quick to turn my heart toward or away? Is the turn of my heart conditional?”

Moments later I said to my wife, “Liz, I’m not sure I like the new me. I tend to get grumpier easier than I used to.” As you can imagine, that led to a discussion on the subject of me for the next little while. I apologized and we moved on. I regret to say, however, that the turn of my heart took about 20 minutes. Can you imagine if you had to make a U-turn in your car on any given street that would take that long? If you saw another driver exerting that much effort, wouldn’t you question whether or not they actually knew how to drive? So when I am driving my own emotions, I wonder why it is so hard to steer. Hmmm. I think it’s time to review my driver’s manual.

It’s not that every circumstance to which I am inclined to be grumpy is that simple. Life is most often complicated. Complications are connected to expectations, exasperations, and other complicated words that end in t-i-o-n. Some of those “tions” are worth shunning. The simplest thing for me to remember is that I am in control, and if I am not in control of my emotions, I am at least responsible. I can choose how I react to any given circumstance.

One thing I remember pondering as I reviewed my personal driver’s manual is how I choose to define my choice. It’s not just what, it’s who. My choice was not just about a fruit smoothie, it was about my wife and how I feel about her. I had to ask myself, “Is the smoothie more important than my wife? Am I really going to place my feelings in front of hers, over a smoothie?” Suddenly I seemed, to myself, very small. My mistake was pretty small, too, but I had to fix it. I felt like I was groping my hands around a steering wheel where the power steering had gone out. It was all manual. I felt like I had to wrestle my feelings to the ground to make my U-turn back to my wife. See. I told you it was nothing to be proud of.

Feeling close to my wife again was a lot more delicious than being grumpy. Once I chose to consider what was really important, my difficult challenge became easier. It added power to my steering. Mind you, a good fruit smoothie has still been on my mind and I’m still thirsty, but it’s not worth being grumpalicious.


What I Believe…


http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/

How’s Your Appetite?

Some things aren’t right or wrong. They simply are what we make them. My appetites, for instance, as well as my desires and passions, can give me a lot of pleasure and happiness, or they can get me into trouble. On their own they aren’t good or bad, but they are motivators. They provide a reason for me to make choices. And that, I believe, is one of the most important reasons for mortality.

From the time I was nine years old, I had very few issues with my appetite for eating, or so I thought. I enjoyed food and I ate as much as I wanted. Consequently, I was the fat little kid the other kids made fun of, and I was always the last one to be picked on a team for sports. I may not have liked being called fatso or gordo, but I learned to live with it over the next ten years of my life.

Every once in a while during my childhood, I would get sick and lose my appetite. It was usually due to a bad cold or the flu. On a number of such occasions, I remember my Mom asking me, “How’s your appetite?” She knew one of the first signs of recovery was that my appetite would come back. She was right.

These two memories frame an interesting perspective on appetites for me. On one hand, I felt like my active appetite wasn’t a problem, yet I had a hard time controlling it. On the other, the only time my hunger slowed down was when I was sick. Controlling wasn’t a problem because my appetite went away. I’ve found the healthiest place for me to be is right in the middle. Without hunger, I would lose motivation to eat. Without control, I would have no discipline and would have to live with natural consequences. Self-control allows me to enjoy my appetites.

I believe the patterns I have experienced with my appetite to eat can be applied to all of our appetites. Whether it is a desire for a simple indulgence such as a cookie for a snack or dessert, a need for sleep, or a desire for sexual intimacy, all appetites need restraint and control.

The prophet Alma counseled his son, Shiblon, to bridle his passions so that he could be filled with love. (Alma 38:12) He didn’t tell him to be ashamed of his passions, or suppress them. Alma merely cautioned him so that he could enjoy positive natural consequences.

King Benjamin taught that the natural man is an enemy to God. (Mosiah 3:19) Is that because we are inherently evil? I don’t believe so. I do believe it is in our natures to give preference to our appetites, even at the risk of offending God. We like to eat when we are hungry, and we get grumpy when we have to go without. The more I defer to my body, the louder that inner voice gets and the less restraint I have. When I yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, I feel greater spiritual strength and comfort from within. When we do the latter, we are in less danger of being “lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God.” (2 Timothy 3:4)

I have often been inspired by a principle the Lord taught Abraham about self-control. Speaking of Himself, He said, “there is nothing that the Lord thy God shall take in his heart to do but what he will do it.” (Abraham 3:17) God is the perfect example of self-control. If I wish to be like Him, then I must learn to bridle my passions, my desires, and my appetites.

Because our appetites can often be very strong, and can easily sway our decisions in the brevity of a single choice, it is not unlikely that we will make incorrect choices in the moment of hunger. Looking at our appetites ahead of time can help avoid making prejudiced decisions.

One simple question that has helped me to make better choices is this: Will my choice allow me freedom to make more choices, or will it limit my ability to choose?

Eating healthily gives me physical strength and nourishment to take care of my body. If I eat whatever I want without restraint, I personally find that I become overweight and am more inclined to indulge. This allows me less freedom to be physically active, and encourages me to eat more so that I can find some pleasure in satisfying my appetite. Repeating this behavior can lock me in to fewer choices that will help me to be happy. Simply said, I begin to consume for my lusts.

Other appetites can be much more addictive than eating food. When I begin to dedicate – and even consume – more and more of my time, talents, and personal resources to feed an appetite, I believe I am guilty of feeding my lusts, and that makes it harder to feel the spirit.

I feel strongly that we shouldn’t feel guilty for our internal motivations. They are what we make of them. Appetites are wonderful evidence that we are alive and well. The ability to control those motivations helps me to feel empowered, and even more confident that I can act for myself, and not simply be acted upon by my appetites. As long as I am able to recognize and follow the spirit, I feel much better about my choices, and my appetites.


What I Believe…


http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/

Struggles with Guilt

I was nine. My friend and I were playing at his house. We went to a part we knew was off limits. There in front of us were piles of pornographic magazines. We didn’t go there looking for them, but we were curious about why we weren’t allowed in the room. It didn’t take long to find out. I was hesitant at first, but I chose to pick one up and browse through its pages. To this day, simply mentioning the topic of pornography will retrieve a few of those images to my mind. Some parts are still very clear, unless I purposefully block them. I’ve found I am not alone.

Over the last few years, it has been my privilege to be at important crossroads for a lot of people. I have interviewed candidates who are excited to serve a full-time mission for our church. I have met with a large number of young couples who are planning to get married. Some of those marriages I have performed. I have also done a fair share of marriage counseling to help couples who have been together for a long time. Many of these moments have been beautiful.

In a large number of my interviews, I have become aware how similar my childhood experience was to other men and women. They, at a young age, were exposed to explicit images that have had a powerful affect on them. Quite often they were exposed repeatedly. Frequently, this repetition was accompanied with some form of abuse or some other violation of personal comfort. It is not uncommon for a single act taught to a child to be repeated again in their own life. It is heartbreaking to discover this kind of pain at a crossroads-moment that should be beautiful, especially if this discovery creates a speed bump or an obstacle that delays an anticipated goal such as marriage.

Considering what I know now, I feel lucky to have escaped more painful incidents at a young age – very lucky. My encounters with explicit images did not result in a habit-forming addiction to pornography, but I wasn’t immune. It is still a temptation. My early experiences awakened feelings that are both powerful and personal. Desires were aroused that made it difficult to control my thoughts and actions. Though I repented of my sins and feel forgiven, I still feel a degree of shame for my actions.

Had my exposure to images and desire been more frequent, I don’t know that I would have escaped the more malignant sins that are becoming increasingly common. I believe I would be caught in much greater torment like so many friends I know who have been affected their whole lives. Though my personal circumstances were less disastrous, I tasted enough of desire and shame to relate to someone who is struggling. I know the power of an addiction. I also understand the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and it is beautiful. It is real.

Jesus Christ is the only perfect being to live in mortality on this earth. Not only was He born into the same conditions that we all experience, He took upon Himself our sins and transgressions. He felt the weight of our sins as He paid the price of our shame and guilt. “Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows…. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities … and with his stripes we are healed. (Isaiah 53:4-5)

Before I “esteem him naught,” thinking that He can’t help me, or any of us, out of a difficult mistake, I have to remind myself that Jesus has already taken upon Himself our sins. The ransom has already been paid. The work has been done, at least the part that would otherwise seem impossible. What is left is an opportunity to have faith in Him, believing that He is mighty to save. He is waiting for me to trust Him and turn to Him in my struggles so He can help.

Knowing there are many who battle with desires, addictions, and sins that they are uncomfortable talking about – who consequently feel alone, ashamed, and afraid – I wish I could reach out and place my hand on their shoulder to say, “It’s okay. Struggle is synonymous with being human. There is hope. We can change.”

While sin is not acceptable to God, it is a condition of life we must all overcome. The size of the sin matters less than what we individually do with what we have been given. It is unfair to compare our sins with anyone else’s. As long as our conditions are not identical, and we are not the same, any comparison may be very misleading. It is always best to compare yourself with yourself, and the Savior. He can show us what we can do through faith. We will show ourselves where we have been so that we can learn from our own experience.

I want others who are struggling to not feel alone. There is hope. You shouldn’t feel shame because you think your challenges are uncommon. They likely are not. You should feel shame when you choose to do something wrong. When stimulating images affect you, you shouldn’t feel guilty for the natural desires you have. Remember, the desires are a gift from God. You should feel guilty if you give up your agency for pleasure. Being tempted is not wrong. Giving in to temptation, or choosing to put yourself in a place where you are more likely to give in to temptation, is sin.

I believe our struggles become easier with a little help. It helps to know we all have needs, and we all struggle to learn from them. We are not so alone. It helps to know that we don’t have to feel guilt for having desires, as long as we work to control them. It’s beautiful to know that God will provide us with help as often as we are willing to turn to Him. The difficulty may not go away, but He will help. If we exercise faith, He will prove that we are not alone. He wants to be invited at our important crossroads and struggles.



What I Believe…


http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/

Wanting

Empty.
My soul felt void.
Stripped of water and bread to sustain,
I missed my well and grain –
A source of energy that powers the heart
To action,
To feel and breathe again.

Yearning,
I looked for fuel –
For strength that carries, inspires, and lifts,
So highly valued among my gifts.
I sought reprieve to calm my wants
As time,
I hoped, my thoughts would sift.

Desire points me.
Passions drive me.
My appetites, constant, uphold my need,
Near amounts that closely border greed.
Wondering why I want so much
I pause,
Then let my will concede.

Trying,
I ask in faith,
And not to consume upon my lust,
But to still the raging tempest thrust.
My heart I turn to Him who hears,
…and wait.
His will is always just.

Oh,
How my soul hungers
To learn control and understand
How to receive from the Master’s hand.
I’ll look to Him to fuel my soul,
And then, one day,
Accept the perfect things He’s planned.


http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/

Renewable Fuel and Individual Power

Thousands of windmills were spread across the hillside of the Altamont Pass. The impression of enormity was stunning. Each windmill in the wind farm towered over me by several stories. The experience of being next to a single windmill was vastly different than seeing the panorama from my home in Tracy, California. I remember many mornings looking through clouds to see the Altamont range in the west. Most of the time I could not see the windmills that covered those hills. Occasionally, the sky was clear enough to see the full array in the distance. For some reason, I recall more of those moments on Sunday mornings as I was leaving for church. Although not related, that relationship made an interesting association for me.

Contrasting this image with the effects of ever-present coal-burning in the Nineteenth Century suggests not only a different picture, but a different way of life. Poet, Thomas Hardy penned the following in his poem, The Darkling Thrush:

I leant upon a coppice gate
When Frost was spectre-gray
And Winter’s dregs made desolate
The weakening eye of day.
The tangled bine-stems scored the sky
Like strings of broken lyres,
And all mankind that haunted night
Had sought their household fires.

In American cities where coal was available for fuel, skies were often blighted with coal dust and smoke. Snow and clothing on a clothesline, alike, would be grayed from the use of this black fuel. Walls and ceilings inside of homes would be layered in soot. Coal dust would collect inside walls and attics, and would settle on the surface of drapes and furniture. The presence of coal was everywhere and dusting was a part of daily life. Many of the negative effects of this fuel were widely overlooked because it was such a powerful fuel.

Power and electricity are an integral part of modern life. We depend on power to heat and cool our buildings, to prepare and preserve our food, to light our homes, to run our appliances, and to power our computers. Technology scarcely exists without electricity. Without power, long lines of cars can be seen waiting to take turns passing through a busy intersection when a traffic signal goes out. Without power, businesses and industry come to a halt. We rely on power to fuel our lives, and yet fuel is required to generate power.

In past generations, it may have been difficult to separate the need for fuel with the type of fuel that was available, only because options were limited. However, after decades of ignoring the fact that some fuels create problems that don’t go away without intervention, the idea of stewardship for our environment is increasing. Why? Because there are better options.

The windmills of the Altamont Pass Wind Farm generate enough power to run 120,000 homes a year. This represents nearly a third of California’s emission-free energy. Harnessing the winds, such as those that approach 30 miles per hour as they pass from the coast into the Central Valley of California, is referred to as a passive energy solution. It is passive because it takes advantage of energy that is readily available without requiring additional fuel to generate it.

Similar to our outward energy needs, every individual person has a specific set of internal needs that fuels our motivations. This need for energy warms our hearts, preserves our hope, and lights our way. We are driven by desires. Our desire for comfort stretches our comfort levels to do hard things so that we can have more of what we want. Our need to eat and sleep compels us to put other interests aside. Our passions and appetites move us to act, which is a primary reason why we are here on earth – to learn how to act. As we learn to control these powerful motivators we learn to become more like God.

I believe that we often fail at separating our energy needs from the fuel that is required to acquire it. We may look at our desires and judge them as wrong because we associate them with pollutive processes. Or, we may justify the means of fueling our hope because our desires are so great. In either case, recognizing that there are better options will help us in our personal stewardships to control our desires, appetites, and passions.

Spencer W. Kimball taught that “Jesus saw sin as wrong but also was able to see sin as springing from deep and unmet needs on the part of the sinner.” I love this example because it demonstrates that Jesus’ ability to separate the sin from the sinner, and the need from the act. As I follow Jesus, I become better at making the same distinction. Most often, when I desire to do something wrong, or something that may not be good for me, it is usually not because I have evil desires, but because I have needs that aren’t being met. As I separate the need from the act, I can then determine the best way to make sure my divinely given needs are met.

Our passions can be great motivations when properly controlled. But all too often, when these needs go unmet, we become impatient. When promised blessings do not arrive when hoped for, we often accept alternatives. This willingness to settle for something less than what God intended makes us both vulnerable and susceptible to temptation. When a trial is delivered instead of a needed blessing, we are tempted to doubt God’s integrity. Instead of trusting that the pain is a sign that something greater is on its way or is about to be delivered, we question why God has forgotten us.

Considering the windmills of the Altamont, there are passive sources of individual power available for each of us to tap into. It does not mean that we can be passive in collecting the energy. It simply means that God has already provided a renewable energy source that will cover all of our needs. I don’t think I can overstate the full meaning of “all” in this sense. Father wishes to give us everything He has. He wants to provide for us. He wants us to turn our hearts toward Him and rely wholly upon Him as a source of our faith and hope.

If a windmill is not turned directly toward the wind, the propeller won’t turn as much as it could. If the parts are not maintained, the windmill won’t function properly and the initial expense will have been in vain. Similarly if our hearts are not turned to God, and if our necks are stiff so that we are not willing to adjust to changing circumstances, we cannot benefit from the blessings that He offers so freely. We will not be able to benefit from the price of the atoning sacrifice that was made up front by The Only Begotten. His effort will not have been in vain, but we may not fully benefit from it unless we choose to act in a manner that is consistent with His teachings.

One definite advantage of internal passive energy solutions is that I can access that power without having to pollute my own spiritual environment. I don’t have to worry about polluting my inheritance. I can find deeper peace and motivation to live fully with less expense and effort. The power of God is readily available to those who seek it. The cost, as always, is a broken heart and contrite spirit. The cost is choice. It’s not a cost to be undervalued, for sure. It is much better than the expense of a shattered life, heartache, or regret caused by a lifetime of ignored pollution and spiritual soot. With that kind of mess, if you haven’t been dusting on a daily basis, you will likely have some serious stains to clean. That is still doable, but much harder by comparison.

The beauty of this kind of individual power is that it is renewable. It doesn’t run out, and it isn’t a burden to maintain. Simply put, it is clean, and pure, and constant. When we turn to the Lord, his blessings flow over, even that there is not room enough to receive them. They are endless and eternal.

Recently I learned something alarming about the windmills of Altamont Pass. While there are many positive benefits to this passive and renewable power, thousands of windmills can also have a negative impact on the environment. It is estimated that these power collecting tools are responsible for the deaths of up to 4,700 birds each year. It is frustrating to find that something so good can still cause so much harm. In this case, the best methods we have found so far may be better than burning coal, but they still have some negative impacts. I guess we’ll keep trying and keep looking.

In my own life, there are times where I try to meet my own needs while making good choices, and then find that I have been successful at someone else’s expense. It is very disappointing to get a needed break only to find that one of my children was hoping to spend time with me. I would much rather spend time with my wife, knowing that it is just as rewarding for her as it is for me. For the most part, I think I am pretty successful. When I am not, well, I guess I have an opportunity to keep trying and keep looking.

There are other forces in the world that have greater energy potential. The ocean is deep and has a constant energy that doesn’t stop. The mass of the earth itself stores heat that we are only beginning to tap into. The sun radiates light constantly throughout the day. Our methods for tapping the resources that are already there without negative side effects are improving.

Perhaps there is yet a better way to find the personal energy I need. I don’t think I have to change my needs, I just have to adjust my methods. If I bridle my passions the way we bridle the wind, then I have a greater potential for my heart to be filled to overflowing. I may make some mistakes in the process, but at least I know that God’s way is always the best way. When I follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit, I don’t have to worry.

One significant key to finding this individual power that is renewable and constant was revealed by the Lord. It relates to the windmill being oriented directly toward the wind, or the source of power. He said, “And if your eye be single to my glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light, and there shall be no darkness in you; and that body which is filled with light comprehendeth all things.” (Doctrine & Covenants 88:67) I may not have all the answers now, but if I seek the light of Christ, I will be better prepared to comprehend better solutions, especially those that have fewer negative impacts.

The closer I get to the source of perfect power, the closer I get to perfection. I may have a long way to go, but at least I know my course. My desires, appetites, and passions provide motivations to live more fully. My needs aren’t wrong, they just need to be harnessed. As I practice, little by little I gain a greater understanding of how to put that fuel to work without pollution. I employ better methods. I take advantage of the power within and without. I look for ways to become more like God. As I succeed, I am not only sustained, I am renewed. I become better.

Individual power starts with the power to choose. As I control myself in a manner that is pleasing to God, I find more energy to do what I need to, as well as the things I desire. For me, that’s the best kind of fuel.


http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/

Mirrors and Oneness

Seeing someone in a crowd that reminds you of a friend or an acquaintance is not that uncommon of an experience. Perhaps it is because we are always looking, hoping for some sort of connection. More often than not, we are drawn to people who are most like ourselves because it gives us something in common that we can relate to. It gives us a foundation on which we can build and make more connections.

A couple of decades ago, I had an experience that seemed a little odd and unexpected. The situation was unique in that the occurrence had not happened before and has not happened since. I was at Disneyland with my parents and we were navigating a crowd of people near New Orleans Square to get in line for the next ride. As I was walking, I saw a maintenance worker dressed in white walking with a broom and dustpan. I stopped for a moment, taken aback. As I watched him, I thought to myself, “He looks just like me!” It was almost like looking in a mirror, or as close to it as I had ever experienced with a stranger.

Seeing this man caused me to ask some additional questions. “Do I walk that way? Is that how I look to other people? I wonder what he is like.” His appearance wasn’t identical but it was close enough that it had a strong effect on me. The image is still clear in my mind.

When you see a person who bears a resemblance to someone who is familiar to you, the type of relationship you have determines the reaction. If I were a criminal who had just robbed a store, recognizing someone may not be a good thing. Instead of hope, I might have pangs of fear. But, if I were to see a close friend that I hadn’t seen for many years, I may wish to become reacquainted. Had I been the robber, I may have been relieved to find out the person was not the security officer I expected. Or, seeing the person I thought to be my friend, I might be disappointed that the resemblance was only that, and not the actual acquaintance. Still, the memory of that friend may warm my heart with gratitude, if only in remembrance. It may also give me reason to look a little more.

Generally, I believe we tend to find what we are looking for. There are exceptions to this rule as we happen upon something wonderful that is unlooked for. Call it serendipity or providence, I believe there is room for both and they are usually discernable. Yet, if we have faith in God, I believe we tend to look for the fruits of our faith. We expect good things to happen. If we are watching, we will recognize more of God’s influence in our lives, and we will have more to be grateful for. This is one case where believing is seeing.

Separate from appearances, there are other times when I happen to meet someone in the crowd of humanity that seems very familiar. In many ways our meeting is like looking in a mirror. We may not appear the same, have similar genetics, or even be the same gender, but there is something else, deeper than appearances, with a striking resemblance. Almost instantly, something resonates clearly and I am left to ponder why. I can’t say I have lots of answers, but I am very grateful for those connections. I have found those associations to be powerful and beautiful.

When you see a person who more than resembles someone you know, and is someone you know, the type of relationship you have with that person also determines the reaction. Quickly we make a judgment. “Is this someone I want to engage in conversation or avoid? Do I have pangs of fear, or do I want to become reacquainted? Is this relationship more meaningful or less meaningful?” I don’t believe there are right or wrong answers, but our answers reveal much about our hearts. It is easier to want to be with people with whom you feel you share something in common.

Since my heart is the truest indicator of who I am, it is my heart that I want to purify. I want to be my best self and not just a shadow of what I can be. I want to take out the trash rather than collect it. The air is much fresher to breathe and I am at ease when I am not surrounded by garbage that builds up over time. I can put many things in my heart – be it fear or faith, love or anger, pride or humility – but once those things are there, they are not easily removed. All matter has gravity, and while the gravity of the earth is strong, I believe gravity of the heart is stronger.

A mirror can be quite useful. It gives a reflection of who we are and what we are like, at least on the outside. Like our hearts, a mirror is very revealing. It shows our admirable qualities and our blemishes. It is not always easy to take the full package and say, “It is what it is.” True, I am what I am, but it is also true that I can change. Even a mirror will show that much over time.

Emotions we associate with our mirrors can also speak volumes about our hearts. Some may love to look in a mirror to admire their own qualities. Some may look in the mirror for hours to improve how they appear. Others may be afraid to look at their reflection because they know what they will see, wishing they were different. Some may not be satisfied with what they see and yet do not feel empowered to change. Some may choose to look at a mirror with indifference, believing there are more important things than self. They are neither enamored nor afraid. Occasionally it may happen that some will look in the mirror and just be grateful. I suspect there are days in which we all look at our hearts they way we look at mirrors with a variety of emotions and expressions. A mirror is a funny place for pulling faces.

The concept of self is an interesting paradox. It is helpful to know where you are to know where you are not. We need to acknowledge self enough to be aware, but not so much that we are distracted. If I have some sense of where my heart is by how my desires are reflected in my actions, I can determine where I need to change. But, if I focus on myself too much in the mirror, I will also miss the import of what needs to be cleaned up. The heart is an excellent place to examine the qualities and blemishes of our intent. This leads me to a probing question, “As a disciple of Jesus Christ, how can I use my heart and my mirror to help me lose self?” A mirror used to see myself is less useful than a mirror that is used to see the Savior.

The prophet Alma, after having taught about being spiritually reborn, offers a few important questions to consider. Speaking of the Lord he asked, “Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts? ... I say unto you, can ye look up to God at that day with a pure heart and clean hands? I say unto you, can you look up, having the image of God engraven upon your countenances?” (Alma 5:14, 19) In order to be a true disciple and be spiritually reborn, we must tie our actions to our faith. Our intent will be reflected in what we do. More importantly, this change of heart cannot be temporarily received, it must be engraved if we hope to keep it. Thus if we look in the mirror and begin to see the Savior, Jesus Christ, reflected in our hearts, our intent, and our actions, we can know that a mighty change is beginning to increase our faith. This is the start, or the birth, of our spiritual growth.

Just as spiritual rebirth begins in the heart, spiritual growth continues to flow from the heart. It is the heart that needs to be mirrored. Losing self can be best accomplished by reflecting the will of God in our own will. As we change our hearts and our desires to match His, we become one with God. Jesus prayed for this as He met with His apostles at the Last Supper. Speaking to the Father, He said, “And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth. Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word; That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.” (John 17:19-21)

Speaking of the prophet Enoch and his people, Moses said, “And the Lord called his people Zion, because they were of one heart and one mind, and dwelt in righteousness….” (Moses 7:18) If we wish to be among the Lord’s people, we need to bridle our desires and our passions and align them with the Lord’s will. When we learn to control the instruments for personal revelation – the mind and the heart – and direct them towards the Lord, then we grow spiritually. It is then that we become one with God.

The Lord revealed this same principle to Joseph Smith, speaking of our focus. He said, “And if your eye be single to my glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light, and there shall be no darkness in you; and that body which is filled with light comprehendeth all things. Therefore, sanctify yourselves that your minds become single to God, and the days will come that you shall see him; for he will unveil his face unto you, and it shall be in his own time, and in his own way, and according to his own will.” (Doctrine & Covenants 88:67-68) If we will turn our eyes, and our hearts, so that they are single to God’s glory, he will fill our souls with light. As we are filled, the light will chase the darkness from us. The Holy Spirit will be able to sanctify our hearts just as Jesus prayed. When that mighty change is complete, when we see Him, we will be like Him, because His image will be graven in our countenances.

Paul also taught, “If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, … fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let … each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” (Philippians 2:1-4)

So much depends on love. Dieter F. Uchtdorf recently taught, “Love is what inspired our Heavenly Father to create our spirits; it is what led our Savior to the Garden of Gethsemane to make Himself a ransom for our sins. Love is the grand motive of the plan of salvation; it is the source of happiness, the ever-renewing spring of healing, the precious fountain of hope.

“As we extend our hands and hearts toward others in Christlike love, something wonderful happens to us. Our own spirits become healed, more refined, and stronger. We become happier, more peaceful, and more receptive to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit.” (You Are My Hands)

If we wish to become like Jesus, then we must be willing to love like Jesus. We can lose “self” by loving people as our “self”. Then my purpose for looking in the mirror is not to see how becoming I am, but to see how I am becoming like the Savior Jesus Christ.

More often than not, we are drawn to people who are most like ourselves because it gives us something in common that we can relate to. As we draw near to the Savior, we have much more in common with those who are not like us because we begin to feel His love for them. It’s His love that we share in common. Then, as we look in the mirror, hopefully we see less of our own selves and more of His image.


http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/

What a Mess!

My wife often jokes about the physical state of her work room. Like me, she is very project oriented. We are never bored because as soon as we finish one creative project, there are a dozen other things we want to do that are jockeying in the queue. Liz’s room is filled with tangible evidence of her process. You might say that everything there is “in process.” But that’s okay. Whether it is card making, scrapbooking, stamping, sewing, or cross-stitching, she does beautiful work, and she is not afraid to make a mess.

We used to share the workroom together. Her half of the room had files and boxes of photos, paper, scissors, pens, and important pieces of history that were waiting to be absorbed into a well crafted scrapbook. Liz also had drawers and bins of fabric, patterns, and notions such as zippers, ribbon, and buttons. My half had a different mess.

For about ten years I spent a great deal of my spare time working on a supposed epic novel with a beautiful heroine as the main character. My half of the room was filled with stacks of notes, folders of pictures, reference books, and sculptures. The walls were covered with sketches, story boards, illustrations, maps, and ideas. I had developed histories, family lines, and cultural definitions. I was completely immersed in plot and character development. Well… I was immersed whenever I entered the room. It was perfect for that purpose. I was surrounded by mess and process. The two went hand in hand and allowed me to learn faster than any other place. Now, however, the room is only used by my wife, and my process has been cleaned up.

The story is something that I am very passionate about. Someday I hope to get back to it. But, if I don’t, I will still be grateful for the work that I did there because the process was so valuable to me. It was a laboratory for thought that afforded me the opportunity to test out lots of ideas, both fictitious and real.

At a point in my life where circumstances changed for me, I found that I needed to put my interests on hold and I cleaned up my mess. While my hobby held my attention, my family and other obligations needed my time. So I carefully took my work down and shelved it in boxes. Certainly, it was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I do not regret it a bit. I would make the same decision if presented to me again and again. I realized then that there is an appropriate time for messes especially when they afford a process.

In contrast to the work room, our living room is much different in character. I read there, I pray there, and it affords me a different opportunity to focus without clutter. It contains possessions that define our family. In addition to comfortable seating, there are books, paintings, photographs, and musical instruments. This room has stricter rules of what is acceptable. Yes, from time to time this room may get messy, but I do not allow it to be so for very long because it is my sanctuary. When it gets messy, it no longer seems like mine and I feel like an outsider. It is not a museum or showcase, but the living room is a place to live in. I have found that to be more easily done when there is no mess there.

It is worth considering, and recognizing, that not all messes are bad. Some messes can be helpful, and some may be a detriment. Some we can control, and others control us. I believe that when we are able to act and define our messes, we are much better off than if we are acted upon by our messes because they limit our decisions. This is another example of how the evidence at hand comes back to intent. Similarly, while a process may be messy, there is a difference between clean messy and dirty messy. Consider the following.

In Mark chapter 7, a group of Pharisees and scribes found fault and criticized Jesus because his disciples ate bread without washing their hands. They stated that it was the tradition of the elders to wash, not only their hands, but also their cups, pots, brazen vessels, and tables, or they would not eat. Jesus’ response was quite poignant as he quoted Isaiah the prophet.

“He answered and said unto them, Well hath Esaias prophesied of you hypocrites, as it is written, This people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me. Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men. … Full well ye reject the commandment of God, that ye may keep your own tradition.” (Mark 7:6-7,9) Jesus spoke not only of hands and dishes, but of commandments that the Pharisees professed to uphold and yet broke them. He returned criticism because they were focused on lesser things instead of the things of God.

Jesus continues, “There is nothing from without a man, that entering into him can defile him, which is food; but the things which come out of him; those are they that defile the man, that proceedeth forth out of the heart. If any man have ears to hear, let him hear.” (Mark 7:15-16, JST Mark 7:15)

When His disciples could not understand Jesus’ teachings, he explained, “whatsoever thing from without entereth into the man, it cannot defile him; Because it entereth not into his heart, but into the belly….” He then lists a number of sins that proceed from the heart as evil thoughts and actions and states, “All these evil things come from within, and defile the man.” (Mark 7:18-19, 23)

Perhaps it is a stretch to talk of the messes that occur in work rooms and living rooms, and then talk of the heart. Yet the heart also has rooms in which we store and keep things. Some things we lock up, and some things we share openly. I believe the heart to be more sacred, thus making an examination of the heart more important as to which messes are process and which may be detriments.

There may be times when our hearts and minds, both, are confused. They seem to be cluttered with information, circumstances, and the cry for decisions. A true disciple of Christ will not take such decisions lightly, or dismiss them too quickly. It is important for us to study them out carefully in the light of Christ so that we can make an appropriate decision.

Mormon taught us how to examine the clutter of confusion that can exist internally. “For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God. ... And now, my brethren, seeing that ye know the light by which ye may judge, which light is the light of Christ, see that ye do not judge wrongfully; for with that same judgment which ye judge ye shall also be judged.” (Moroni 7:16-18)

The key to whether the clutter in our hearts is just mess or process depends how the clutter got there. If I am confused solely because I lack wisdom and am unsure of my course, the clutter would suggest that I am on the cusp of taking a leap forward in my process – the process of becoming like Father. I may have an opportunity to grow if I am prepared to deal with the situation. On the other hand, if my heart is cluttered because I have judged incorrectly in the light of Christ, and have chosen that which is wrong, then my actions will testify against me. This would suggest that I welcomed clutter into my heart and chose mess for mess’s sake. This is the largest difference between sin and mistakes. One is deliberate, the other inadvertent.

Dallin H. Oaks of the Twelve Apostles taught that while both sins and mistakes can harm us, mistakes need correction but sins require repentance. They are not the same and do not require the same process to fix. Many of our decisions can be carefully weighed against the measure of bad, good, better, and best. Elder Oaks said, “For most of us, most of the time, the choice between good and bad is easy. What usually causes us difficulty is determining which uses of our time and influence are merely good, or better, or best. Applying that fact to the question of sins and mistakes, I would say that a deliberately wrong choice in the contest between what is clearly good and what is clearly bad is a sin, but a poor choice among things that are good, better, and best is merely a mistake.” (“Sins and Mistakes,” Ensign, Oct 1996, 62) Some of the clutter in our hearts is there deliberately, but has been invited by mistake.

Usually walking into a messy room is a choice; we see what the room is like before we enter. There are times in life, however, where we find ourselves in a confusing situation and we are left to wonder, “How did I get in such a mess?” The arrival at comprehension is an odd experience, as if we have just awoken from sleep walking.

If not all messes are bad, then understanding what kind of mess we are in can be very helpful. Whether it is by choice, by mistake, or due to conditions beyond our control, it is important for us to assess so that we can determine the best course for action. Consider these questions. How do I feel about the mess? Does it feel out of control or is the mess manageable? What do I plan to do with the mess? Does it bother me? Why? Am I apathetic towards the mess, and is it easier to pretend that it’s not there than to deal with it? Do I ever think, “I should clean this up,” without the intent of actually changing or doing anything about it? Would it make any difference if someone could help me through it, or help me clean it up?

If we feel in control, we will likely have a more positive attitude towards the situation. If we can get someone to help or encourage, it may be enough to change our attitude. If we recognize what we are up against, and have a plan of action, we can better deal with the messes life delivers at our feet.

When I watch Liz make dough to bake some bread, I observe that her process is very, very messy. She spreads oil over the counter to keep the dough from sticking. She grinds wheat to make flour which causes fine dust to spread. She prepares the dough with a mixer and then kneads it with her hands. Every time, however, the counter resumes to a smooth as glass condition without a trace of the mess. Liz is in control of the process and she has gotten very fast. You can’t make bread without making a mess. At the same time, it is hard to enjoy the bread unless you have a clean place to eat it. There is a place for both.

In my line of work as an architect, I spend a lot of time on construction sites to review progress. As I observe work that is being done, I see a lot of mess, and yet it isn’t. To the inexperienced it may look like chaos. To the general contractor who is responsible for the work, there is a process by which separate materials are put together to create a refined product. Watching a design take shape from seemingly nothing is always amazing. It is very rewarding. Sometimes we have to trust that Father is both the architect who has a master design for our lives, and He is the general contractor that is directing the work, making something refined and beautiful out of seemingly nothing. Life may get dusty, but if we put our faith in His plan, things will turn out better than we can possibly imagine.

I have found that it is often when I am immersed in a messy situation that I am capable of doing the most work. If I am surrounded by mess and chaos, I begin to despair. But, if my mess is full of process and I feel in control, then I can often learn faster than I will in any other place.

I’m glad that most often my work period includes a time to clean up. Much can be learned and understood when we clean up the rooms in our homes and the rooms in our hearts. Even in circumstances when, like my interest in writing a novel, I find that it is time to put something good aside for something better or best, I have a greater appreciation of the process, and I can enjoy a place that is swept clean of distraction. Many truths are formulated during the process. Then those same truths distill and refine when the mess is gone.

Referring back to the example of the Savior with the Pharisees, and the measurement of value described by Elder Oaks, we need to be very careful that we give our best attention to the appropriate messes. If we focus on less important distractions when there are more important issues at hand, we may be guilty of having an incorrect focus. When we decide it is time to clean up our messes, it can be possible to have a clean house and yet have cluttered relationships. We may find that we are perfectionists at cleaning messes in our homes, but not our hearts. Certainly I am not advocating that we have messy homes. I do believe we need to keep our priorities clear and our focus correct.

Both our hearts and our homes have appropriate work rooms and living rooms. We have places for messes and places for serenity. When some of those messes spread and start to consume our peace, we should remember that we are the offspring of God. Father has created us in His image. He has given us the potential and the power to become like Him. We do so when we begin to see the messes for what they are and we act upon them rather than letting them act upon us. Fortunately, when we are in over our heads in mess, Father can help. We can ask Him humbly in prayer and He will respond. Much like my own children who often make mistakes and messes, both, that are larger than they can manage, a simple “please” is usually enough to get my help. Father loves us much, much more than we are capable of loving our own children. He will help take care of our messes.

Because our lives are often messy and a work in progress, it helps to have a reminder that this is by design and we have no need to fear. The exception is when we choose to make messes for mess’s sake. Keeping work in the work room, and living in the living room has worked well for me. Note that I didn’t mention my garage. There is another work in progress, but I’ll leave that for another day.


http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/

A Game of Hot and Cold

I remember playing a guessing game when I was little where the person who was “it” had to find an object that someone else had hidden. The only clues given were to tell the person searching whether they were close or not by simply saying, "warm, warmer, hot," or "cold, colder, freezing." The hotter you were, the closer you were to finding the object.

I like to compare this game of “Hot and Cold” with the gift of the Holy Ghost. Listening to the Holy Spirit is much like getting subtle impressions of how close we are to doing what is right. Listening for the directions can help us make corrections when necessary and stay on track. However, when we give in to temptation, we tend to stop listening to the directions given by the Holy Ghost. That is when we are in danger.

Months ago, I spoke with a friend about his experiences with the Holy Ghost. I asked him if he had faith in God and in His Son, Jesus Christ. His answer surprised me. “I believe it is true,” he said, “but I don’t know it is true.” Silently I wondered how my friend could doubt so much to not believe that he had already been given knowledge. We discussed his testimony a little further and I gave him a few suggestions to ponder.

As each of us considers the strength of our personal testimonies, I believe there are three questions that can secure our faith. The first question is, “Can God lie?” The answer is a resounding no. He cannot lie or He would cease to be God. The second question is, “Can God speak to us?” The answer is a definite yes. At a minimum it is like playing Hot and Cold. But He can also give us instruction and inspiration. Then the third question, “Will God lead us astray?” Again the answer is no. The opposite defies reason. Everything God does is to help us return to His presence.

When we find ourselves in good circumstance, those who have faith are not likely to question these answers. However, when we are in the middle of a trial, they are the first truths we attack if our faith is weak. This is not to say that we don’t have faith, but rather our faith needs strengthening after being tested.

We may hear ourselves say, “I thought Father said He would take care of us and provide for us if we kept His commandments.” “Maybe He didn’t really speak to me, maybe I imagined it.” Or, “How did I get here. This is not where I thought I would be. I expected to be happier and safer.” Suddenly we question ourselves and Father. We begin to doubt and fear replaces our faith.

If we can remember these three questions before we are tried and tested – and be certain of their truth when we feel the Holy Spirit – it will help us to be patient and remember that the Lord will keep His promises, in His due time.

If we believe the answers to these three questions, and we believe that we have received answers to our prayers, then we can say with assurance that we have knowledge and not just faith – knowledge that God has spoken to us. We may not know the outcome of our choices, but that is where faith returns. Father allows us the opportunity to believe Him and have faith that what He said is true.

You may not be completely comfortable with those three questions yet, and if that is the case, that’s okay. There is still room to find out for yourself. The Savior’s invitation to ask God has been given to every dispensation. “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” (Matthew 7:7-8)

The follow up question I ask myself in relation to the first three is, “If the Lord does speak to me, how can I know for sure when He is speaking to me?” If I have impressions that tell me, "warm, warmer, hot," or "cold, colder, freezing," how can I be sure it really is Father? If I can answer that, I will have the start of a testimony.

Having learned the answer for myself, I can say I know that God lives, and I know He will not leave me, because the Holy Spirit has already confirmed to me that this is true. The key is to learn how to listen. Following are some key principles that were revealed to Joseph Smith regarding personal revelation and how to receive it.

The Lord has assured us that His words will be fulfilled. “What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself….” Other things may change, but His word will not change. Knowing that He is committed can be the foundation of our testimonies if we believe that God cannot lie. (D&C 1:37-38)

In the Doctrine & Covenants, the Lord told Oliver Cowdery that as often as he had inquired of the Lord, that he received instruction of the Spirit. A witness of this is that his mind was enlightened. (D&C 6:14-15) Because the Lord is not a respecter of persons, each of us can learn if we will inquire through prayer. We can receive a witness of peace. The Lord further told Oliver, “Verily, verily, I say unto you, if you desire a further witness, cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart, that you might know concerning the truth of these things. Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God?” (D&C 6:22-23)

When we pray, we should anticipate being enlightened. We should watch for inspiration to come. If we desire to know if this is from God, we should focus on how we feel and watch for the witness of peace in our hearts.

Both the mind and the heart are required to receive revelation. The Lord said, “Yea, behold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart. Now, behold, this is the spirit of revelation….” (D&C 8:2-3) When we receive revelation from the Lord, the thoughts in our minds and the feelings in our hearts will be consistent.

Another important key to receiving revelation is contained in direction given by the Lord to Oliver Cowdery while he was assisting Joseph Smith in translation. We need to take an active role in seeking the answer. “Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me. But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right. But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong….” (D&C 9:7-9)

To avoid being deceived, the Lord also gave additional council to make sure the thoughts and feelings of our hearts and minds are consistent with His heart and mind. To Hyrum Smith He said, “And now, verily, verily, I say unto thee, put your trust in that Spirit which leadeth to do good—yea, to do justly, to walk humbly, to judge righteously; and this is my Spirit. Verily, verily, I say unto you, I will impart unto you of my Spirit, which shall enlighten your mind, which shall fill your soul with joy; And then shall ye know, or by this shall you know, all things whatsoever you desire of me, which are pertaining unto things of righteousness, in faith believing in me that you shall receive.” (D&C 11:12-14)

Receiving revelation, and gaining a testimony, requires time and practice. Placing oil in our lamps, in this case, is done a drop at a time. As we follow these principles, and find ourselves getting closer and closer to the Holy Spirit, the light of Christ will grow warmer and warmer in our hearts.

Occasionally when we play a game of hide and seek, where the truths we are seeking seem to elude us, we may get frustrated. We might be disappointed because we are not receiving the answers we desire, or we might be frustrated that our personal testimonies are not as strong as we would like. In either case, persistence in the correct course will pay off.

A testimony will lead us like a candle. The fact that it can lead us suggests that our actions will often follow after the light. In other words, sometimes our actions will lag behind our beliefs or our faith. We know what to do, but we don’t always do it. Because our beliefs and actions are not aligned does not mean we are hypocrites. If our hearts are pointed towards the thing we have not yet mastered, we are still followers. We need not worry unless our hearts are turned opposite from the things we say. Disciples are not required to be perfect to follow. Discipleship is the path that leads to perfection. We grow spiritually as we try to follow the Savior Jesus Christ by walking in His light.

In those moments when we feel that the hot and cold directions are not so clear, we should look closely at why. It is possible that we are not receiving direction because we have turned our hearts from the Lord. In this case, the answers may not come until we repent. Another possibility is that we are being tested to see if we are really listening and are ready to follow. He may just be checking the alignment of our hearts.

If I want to perform a quick alignment test on my car, I take both hands off of the steering wheel while I am driving, albeit only briefly. If the wheels are out of alignment, the car will veer ever so slightly to one side or the other. Typically it won’t go careening off the road. The misalignment may be very small – it may not even be detectable when both hands are on the steering wheel – but it will result in unnecessary wear on the tires which will require them to be replaced sooner.

Similar to the alignment of a car, our hearts need adjustment from time to time. When the Spirit withdraws temporarily, and we are left to our own devices to make a decision, we gain experience in studying out the matter for ourselves. Without the help of the Spirit to steer us, our actions make our alignment very clear, whether we are straight or veer slightly to one side. If we choose not to correct our hearts, we add undue stress to our choices.

The matter of spiritual alignment is critical in receiving revelation. It is no different than pouring water into a glass from pitcher. If we are not aligned, the water continues to flow, hitting the outside of the glass and doing nothing to fill it. When our glass is properly oriented, we will be filled to overflowing. The Lord told Joseph Smith, “And if your eye be single to my glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light, and there shall be no darkness in you; and that body which is filled with light comprehendeth all things. Therefore, sanctify yourselves that your minds become single to God, and the days will come that you shall see him; for he will unveil his face unto you, and it shall be in his own time, and in his own way, and according to his own will.” (D&C 88:67-68)

While the promise spoken of in these verses is great, the pathway that leads to that promise is full of revelation. One revelation will lead to another, line upon line, until we have received a fullness. The closer we get to Father, the more He can tell us. When we repent and are ready to follow His direction, the answers do come. The game of Hot and Cold becomes more of a pursuit. As we get closer to obtaining our goal, we are only satisfied with “warmer” and “hot” as answers. We never want to be cold again. Fortunately, we don’t have to as long as we take the Holy Ghost as our guide.


http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/

Wherever Your Desires May Lead

“Be careful what you wish for,” is familiar enough advice that it usually elicits the same cause-and-effect response, “you just might get it.” The prophet Alma seemed to understand this principle a little clearer than most. You have likely heard the expression before, and possibly even used it yourself. But how much do you believe it?

“O that I were an angel,” is an intriguing exclamation by Alma, in chapter 29 of his record, when you compare it with the history that preceded and succeeded this statement.

We learn from the record of King Mosiah that Alma was a “wicked and idolatrous man,” and, “he led many of the people to do after the manner of his iniquities.” (Mosiah 27:8) His friends, the four sons of Mosiah did much to destroy the church of God. They were “the very vilest of sinners.” (Mosiah 28:4) Alma, himself later states that he rebelled against God and “murdered many of his children, or rather led them away to destruction.” (Alma 36:13-14) But he changed.

Not long after the peak of Alma’s wickedness was this statement made about him, “Alma did walk in the ways of the Lord, and he did keep his commandments….” (Mosiah 29:43) The reason for the change was a visit by an angel in answer to his father’s prayers. In this visit, Alma was severely chastened. He became weak and helpless for three days. However, in this experience, the words of the angel awoke in him a realization of his misplaced desires along with the eternal consequences that were bound fast to his choices. One thing that makes Alma unique is how quickly he fully repented and began to repair the damage he had caused.

Between ten and twenty years later, Alma, as the high priest over the church, visited a city of people who lived after the manner of his former example. The people of Ammonihah were hardhearted and wicked, and they refused to listen to Alma. As Alma was weighed down by the burden of confronting the effects of his own sins a second time, through the sins of those people, an angel again appeared to him. It was the same angel that visited him before. The angel encouraged Alma and commanded him to return to Ammonihah again because there were people who yet needed to be saved, just as Alma had.

Alma knew the power of an angel. He also knew that he had personally done terrible damage in his earlier years. Recognizing that Alma was the beneficiary of a ministering angel on at least two occasions adds great significance to his wish. “O that I were an Angel, and could have the wish of mine heart, that I might go forth and speak with the trump of God, with a voice to shake the earth, and cry repentance unto every people.” (Alma 29:1)

A unique detail of Alma’s story is the fact that the manner of his death is not fully known. In abridging the Nephite record, Mormon said that Alma departed out of the land and was never heard of more. “As to his death or burial we know not of. Behold, this we know, that he was a righteous man; and the saying went abroad in the church that he was taken up by the Spirit, or buried by the hand of the Lord, even as Moses.” If that were the case, Alma got his wish.

While the history of Alma is interesting and worth reading, particularly the role that angels played in his life, it is not the part that I tend to focus on most. For me, the most important part about his story is the lesson on desire.

In the few verses that follow Alma 29:1, Alma says he sins in his wish because he ought to be content and isn’t. In verse 4 he says that Father grants unto men according to their desires with decrees that are unalterable. The word unalterable has a certain sense of finality – not that he will decree a judgment on us that is unfair, but that he will ultimately give us exactly what we want, because he is more than fair. This type of decree merits a closer look at what desire really is.

One may argue that desire is merely wanting. Perhaps it is. Yet we may receive according to our desires proportionately to their magnitude. Thus if our desires are great, the likelihood that we will realize them increases dramatically.

If a person who is close to death has a desire to live, and has any hope of doing so, their efforts to ensure that they do will likely be anything but casual. Survival becomes almost instinctive. People are willing to do almost anything to preserve their lives when they desire to avoid death. Whether it is our lives or other needs that we are willing to protect and preserve, we guard the things that are dearest to us. We keep these things carefully secured within the room our hearts with our desires. “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” (Matthew 6:21)

Our desires and passions typically lead us to action. Just as faith without works is dead, desire without action may only be whimsy. We are beings that do what we want. If we want to work, we do. If you don’t want to work, but go anyway, be the judge if you are really working or just going through the motions. If this is true, we can more carefully measure what our desires are, not by what we want, but by what we do.

It is so important for us to watch our thoughts, our words, and our deeds. Each of them eventually shapes our desires. Alfred Lord Tennyson said, “The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions.” Because this is true, and is consistent with what we are taught in scripture, it is worth a constant watch with accompanying prayer that we are not deceived. In addition to watching our desires, we need to watch for the adversary’s efforts to tempt us. A good friend of mine recently told me, “Desire is a good motivator, but like all things good, Satan loves to twist.” If we do not watch and pray always, Satan desires to have us, and he will use our desires to work against us rather than for us.

In contrast to the danger of misplaced desire, consider the instruction from the Lord to Joseph Smith regarding our wants. “And if your eye be single to my glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light, and there shall be no darkness in you; and that body which is filled with light comprehendeth all things.” (D&C 88:67) As we focus on what the Lord wants, trusting that He truly wants us to be happy and is doing everything He possibly can to allow us that choice, our hearts change. They become new, and we become new creatures.

An interesting verse in the Book of Mormon tells us the importance of aligning our wants with God’s will. When Jesus appeared to the people on the American continent after His resurrection, He taught them to pray more sincerely. In 3 Nephi 19:24 we read that the people prayed without ceasing, and “they did not multiply many words, for it was given unto them what they should pray, and they were filled with desire. If our desires are not aligned with God’s we can ask for help to change. When we do, He can teach us how to pray more sincerely. He can fill us with desire to do what is right. But, this can only happen when we are willing to turn our hearts to Him. We have to be willing to align our eyes so they are single to His work and His glory – to bring about our eternal happiness and exaltation. To have faith in Him is to trust that He is always right.

Remember, that when Alma changed and turned his heart to God, his exquisite and bitter pains were replaced with exquisite and sweet joy. He was filled with marvelous light, and was born of God. It was after he turned his heart and tasted of the goodness of God, that he knew he would be supported under his trials, his troubles, and his afflictions, and would be lifted up at the last day. (Alma 36:3, 20-21, 23)

Moreover, Alma taught his son, “see that ye bridle all your passions that ye may be filled with love….” (Alma 38:12) As we do, we learn to sing the song of redeeming love. The atonement becomes active in our lives and our hearts are sanctified that we cannot look upon sin except with abhorrence. In this process, we truly become like our Father.

Desires are a beautiful thing. They enhance the spiritual experience Father intended each of us to have on this earth. These desires are divinely given to help us become like Him. It is imperative that we remember why they are given so that we don’t consume them upon our lusts. Father has decreed that He will grant us according to our desires. Alma taught that what He grants is our choice, “whether it be unto death or unto life; yea, I know that he allotteth unto men, yet decreeth unto them decrees which are unalterable, according to their wills, whether they be unto salvation or unto destruction.” (Alma 29:4) We are always safe when we choose to look to Father, ready to listen and obey.

Be careful what you desire, because your life will inevitably go wherever your desires may lead. That much has been decreed.


http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/

Desire

Over the past ten years I have been working on a novel inspired by two verses in the Book of Ether contained in the Book of Mormon. My curiosity has caused me to wonder how two separate nations can be brought to their knees to the point of near extinction. I believe the real reason lies in a power that begins very small in the heart of each individual. Unchecked, these motivations provide an immense amount of fuel for a lifetime of decisions. Lately I have put my ideas on the shelf to take care of other responsibilities, but I still find the study intriguing.

The most prominent theme in the Book of Mormon is clearly the witness that Jesus Christ lives and that he visited the people in the Western Hemisphere after His resurrection. Other important themes are the importance of covenants made with God, the pride cycle that we each tend to go through in various degrees, and the power of secret combinations. While it is not a primary focus, secret combinations, and how to deal with them, is an overarching theme of the writings in Helaman, Third Nephi, Mormon, and Ether.

I look at the motives to establish Zion and secret combinations as being direct opposites. The purpose of Zion is to build up the ideal society. The objective of secret combinations is to destroy all societies, as was demonstrated with the Nephites and the Jaredites.

Personally, I see no need to fear. We live in the only dispensation that will not fail and fall into apostasy. However, we have been warned of what is coming and how we need to prepare. We have been given what we need to understand the pertinent parts of secret combinations for our benefit.

Moroni tells us in Ether 8:24, “Wherefore, the Lord commandeth you, when ye shall see these things come among you that ye shall awake to a sense of your awful situation, because of this secret combination which shall be among you; or wo be unto it, because of the blood of them who have been slain; for they cry from the dust for vengeance upon it, and also upon those who built it up.”

In Mormon 8:34-35, Moroni also says, “Behold, the Lord hath shown unto me great and marvelous things concerning that which must shortly come, at that day when these things shall come forth among you. Behold, I speak unto you as if ye were present, and yet ye are not. But behold, Jesus Christ hath shown you unto me, and I know your doing.”

These two statements tell us that the Lord has shown Moroni our day, and what to expect when they happen. The intriguing part to me is that Moroni states that we would awake to our awful situation, which means that if we are not watching carefully, the situation will catch us by surprise. He also says “when,” not “if.”

Moroni then tells us why he included this information in his record. Continuing in Ether 8:26 we read, “Wherefore, I, Moroni, am commanded to write these things that evil may be done away, and that the time may come that Satan may have no power upon the hearts of the children of men, but that they may be persuaded to do good continually, that they may come unto the fountain of all righteousness and be saved.”

As I have pondered this topic and the related accounts in the Book of Mormon, I have come to understand that the desire of an individual is very powerful – it has tremendous effects on both the individual and society at large. Desire unchecked is the seed of secret combinations. Even if we are not engaged in secret combinations, we may support them through indifference.

In Helaman 6:31-32, Mormon tells us the predicament the ancient Nephites faced before the Savior’s first advent. “And now behold, he had got great hold upon the hearts of the Nephites; yea, insomuch that they had become exceedingly wicked; yea, the more part of them had turned out of the way of righteousness, and did trample under their feet the commandments of God, and did turn unto their own ways, and did build up unto themselves idols of their gold and their silver. And it came to pass that all these iniquities did come unto them in the space of not many years….”

Mormon goes on to describe how the Nephites, who became focused on their wealth more than God, began to dwindle in unbelief while the Lamanites began to grow in the knowledge of God. Because of this, the Spirit of the Lord began to withdraw because of the hardness of their hearts – a hardness which I believe was a very gradual process. This is implied by the use of the word “began” three times in reference to the Nephites, the Lamanites, and the Holy Spirit. Consequently, the Nephites supported the secret combinations which were around them. A lack of effort to resist these combinations allowed them to benefit materially from the works of others.

My interest in this topic is not to explore the darker side of the said combinations, but rather to understand the concerns that caused Moroni to write so much on the matter. My hope is that understanding the opposition may help me make deliberate choices for good, and prepare for the establishment of the Zion foreseen by ancient prophets.

In an effort to clarify the thoughts driving my story, I wrote a concept summary in poetic form. Poetry helps me cut to the essence of an idea. I share it here as a quick look at the power of desire unchecked.

Desire,

A subtle flame conceived in the heart –
Invisible, but proud in the street.
Without restraint, it becomes a master,
Fooling the author to believe the opposite.

Desire forgets the poor and feeds ambition.
It quickens senses and stirs the heart,
Yet lulls reason to sleep.
Desire dominates will.

With mastery, it spreads with whispers,
Filling homes, closets, and thoughts.
Preying upon some and enlisting others,
It despises those who offer nothing.

Merchants, officers, and politic-makers
Garb their master in power obtained.
Distinguished by rank and chance for learning
They walk in their sleep, indifferent to the sun.

Seduced by gain and deceived by flattery,
The once innocent trade ethics for advantage,
Until bound fast, occasionally remembering
The wakeful freedom of control.

The hot wind murmurs. The silent heart plots.
Walls listen intently in the shade,
Yet few trouble to douse the flame.
Secret and dark, it stays hidden.

Desire combines with faithful servants
To alter law and destroy the measure
By which it may be fatally judged,
Dismissing those less useful.

Each servant followed by another,
The master wastes, then replaces,
Fueling a fiery system of destruction,
Fanning without restraint.

Vain things are offered and believed.
Nothing matters but the secret.
Not people, not law, nor the sacred –
Nothing, but the opposition.

Awake! Awake, from vanity and death!
Look to the source and not the shadow.
See the power that binds you captive.
We are the enemy, and the enemy is combined.


http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/

Adultery and Idolatry, or, “With All Your Heart”

I have long been intrigued by two of the greatest kings in all of Israel. David and his son, Solomon, were men of great character and ability. More than that, they were chosen of the Lord. In 1 Samuel 13:14 we learn that David was a man after the Lord’s own heart. Solomon was given wisdom unlike any other before or after him. (1 Kings 3:12) But for all their admirable qualities, both monarchs had lives that were punctuated with tragedy and disappointment, because of where they placed their hearts.

Just before the Lord gave Moses the commandments and the law on Sinai, he told Moses the blessing he was about to give Israel. In Exodus 19:5-6 we read, “Now therefore, if ye will obey my voice indeed, and keep my covenant, then ye shall be a peculiar treasure unto me above all people: for all the earth is mine: And ye shall be unto me a kingdom of priests, and an holy nation. These are the words which thou shalt speak unto the children of Israel.” The Lord’s blessings are certain when we are obedient. This understanding has caused me to wonder what seeds David and Solomon chose to place in their hearts that spoiled their gardens with weeds.

After the fall of King David with Bathsheba and Uriah, the prophet, Nathan, queried David and asked, “Wherefore hast thou despised the commandment of the Lord, to do evil in his sight?” (2 Samuel 12:9) At some point before his sin, David’s heart turned from the Lord. It was this choice that led to his great sin of adultery, which was followed by murder and deceit.

Solomon followed a similar path to his father and allowed his wives to turn his heart. In JST 1 Kings 11:4, 6 we read, “For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the Lord his God, and it became as the heart of David his father.... And Solomon did evil in the sight of the Lord as David his father, and went not fully after the Lord.” Solomon then promoted idolatry by building up high places for the worship of the gods of his wives.

While we may not intend a deliberate attack on God, our failure to remember Him demonstrates a serious misplacement of our devotion. The prophet Nephi taught, “For the things which some men esteem to be of great worth, both to the body and soul, others set at naught and trample under their feet. Yea, even the very God of Israel do men trample under their feet; I say trample under their feet but I would speak in other words–they set him at naught, and hearken not to the voice of his counsels.” (1 Nephi 19:7)

It is sad to note that David’s adultery, followed by Solomon’s idolatry, led to the division of the kingdom that David worked so hard to successfully unite. He and his son frustrated their life-long efforts because of what they allowed into their hearts. While this pattern may not be the same for all who misplace their devotions, it is a tragic ensign that waves before us.

What a special and sacred place is the heart. It is the container of hopes and dreams. It is the house of our faith. It is where we keep that which is most dear to us. Most importantly, the heart is the receiver in our communication with God – it is where we feel the promptings of the Holy Ghost. But this can only happen by choice, when we treasure the word of the Lord. “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” (3 Nephi 13:21) It should be no great surprise that one thing we often treasure most is love.

While we are commanded by the Lord to love everyone, there are only two people that I am aware of whom we are commanded to love with all our hearts. On one occasion a scribe asked Jesus which was the first of all the commandments. Jesus answered him saying, “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.” (Mark 12:30) Similarly, the Lord revealed to Joseph Smith in the Doctrine & Covenants the importance of loving our spouse to whom we are married. He said, “Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else.” (D&C 42:22)

To love with all your heart implies that you are willing to offer everything you have, including the treasure that you may keep in your heart. When I treasure God and my wife above all else, it isn’t hard to offer that relationship back. If I treasure other things and am willing to offer them, too, then I show that nothing takes preeminence over the two primary relationships in my life. However, if I treasure something else so much that I am not prepared to give them up willingly, I should probably question whether I truly love with all my heart.

For much of my life, I believed that I loved God with all my heart because I could say I had kept the commandments. I don’t worship idols. I haven’t murdered or committed adultery. It wasn’t until I looked at the instruction from the Savior in the Sermon on the Mount a little closer that I gained a greater understanding of what it meant to be truly obedient. In Matthew 5:27 we read, “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” Jesus was speaking, not to the letter of the law, but to the intent of the law. It is in the intent where the seeds of sin begin to sprout.

Returning to the earlier question, “What seeds did David and Solomon chose to place in their hearts that spoiled their gardens with weeds?” I believe the answer lies in the inception of personal desire where intent is born. The issue has everything to do with fidelity with their two primary relationships. The word fidelity represents loyalty, faithfulness, and devotion. Fidelity is not just the abstinence of sin, it is the commitment that we make when we love with all our hearts. When we allow anything to interfere with that commitment, or our covenants, our fidelity is weakened, as is our faith.

With this understanding, the commandments given to Moses have increased depth and meaning for those who are truly faithful. If Jesus was trying to focus on the intent of our hearts when He taught the Sermon on the Mount, I would propose that we begin to practice idolatry in our hearts when we let anything affect our fidelity with God. Similarly, we begin to practice adultery in our hearts when we let anything or anyone affect our fidelity to our spouse. Thus adultery and idolatry have less to do with specific acts and everything to do with our covenants with the two primary relationships given by commandment.

So why are these seeds so important to stop at their inception? Continuing in Doctrine & Covenants 42:23 we read, “And he that looketh upon a woman to lust after her shall deny the faith, and shall not have the Spirit; and if he repents not he shall be cast out.” Not only do we deny our faith in God, because we have set him at naught and have ignored his counsel, we are no longer faithful in either of our covenants. This offends the Holy Spirit and causes it to withdraw. Our situation becomes even more precarious because of the powerful emotions that are involved when we love. These emotions evoke feelings that are so strong, they can mask, block, and even eclipse the promptings of the Holy Ghost. If we replace those promptings that can warn us of danger with feelings of emotion that have no restraint, we may find ourselves on a path without the ability to recognize that we are in danger. We put at risk, not only our covenants, but our ability to receive divine help, peace, and happiness. We also risk losing life-long investments in relationships that were meant and intended by the Lord to last forever. Ere we are aware, like David and Solomon, we misplace our devotions and find ourselves lost.

Recently a friend of mine told me of a couple that had fallen out of love. Their story could likely be retold by many who have been deceived into thinking that there is more to life than what they currently have. I am not certain that two people can fall out of love because their relationship slowly evaporates. I believe it likely, in most cases, that their desires go unchecked and shift to another focus. They allow them to be redirected or given to someone else.

Sometimes it is only a matter of priority. If we let something else, such as career ambitions, interfere with our faithfulness to our covenants and our fidelity to our two primary relationships, we risk losing the spirit. If a job eats up too much of our time so that we don’t spend a sufficient amount with a spouse, that relationship can become weaker. Once weakened, we may find that our desires for love also transfer to another focus. If that job becomes so important that we find it hard to keep the Sabbath Day holy, our relationship with Father becomes weaker. Once weakened, we may find that our desires turn to wealth, entertainment, or even selfishness. We become, as the apostle Paul described in 2 Timothy 3:2-5, “lovers of [our] own selves,” and “lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof.” Thus selfishness becomes a strange form of idolatry.

Because we live in perilous times in the last days where the behavior described by Paul is so prevalent and common, it may be even harder for us to perceive that something is wrong. It becomes easier to fall prey to the temptations of the adversary to break the covenants with our two primary relationships. Conditions around us make it easier for even the very elect to be deceived. (Matthew 24:24)

If we wish not to be deceived, the answer is simple. Keep the commandments and take the Holy Spirit for your guide. Keep your desires in check and maintain absolute fidelity in your relationships with God and your spouse. We find the strength to keep these covenants when we combine for a common purpose. When we pray, we can ask Father for help to strengthen our marriage. As we plan out our lives with our spouses, we can ask for and give support to each other in keeping these commandments. I have found immense happiness and contentment as I have done these two things. My love for my God and my wife have only grown stronger and stronger. I know this has been the source of my happiness. How grateful I have been for the counsel to place my devotions appropriately and truly love with all my heart.


http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/

Meaningful Associations

Some people pick their battles. In our house, we have to pick our games. With five kids who are all fairly close in age, games can be the source of both unity and division, especially if Dad gets a little competitive. For the most part, I think I do pretty well. Our family is really pretty good, too. (Although, in this setting, Liz is more of a peacemaker than the rest of us combined.)

One of our favorite games is called Apples to Apples. Inside the game box resides a few decks of cards. The smaller deck of green cards contains descriptive adjectives with a few related words as hints. Each of the cards in the red deck lists a person, place or thing. Play begins as one person, who acts as judge, draws a green card and places it on the table. The object of the game is for each of the other players to place one of their red cards on the table as quickly as possible so the judge can then pick the card that has the strongest association. The results can be pretty humorous when a green card with the word “Haunting” is matched up with cards like “Bates Motel,” “Dating,” or “Poison Ivy.” You get the idea. The choice is pretty subjective, especially when the judges’ ages and experience are spread by a few decades.

When I was the age of our youngest daughter, I remember disliking a particular girl’s name very much. It wasn’t a very good association for me. I think it was because of a particular girl who was particularly not nice to me. I made a conscious effort to NOT like her name. Later, when I found out my sister was going to have a little baby and had decided to name her Heidi, I wondered how she could make such a choice. I had been betrayed. Suddenly, I had to wrestle with my opinions. It didn’t take long before I had changed my mind and absolutely adored the name. I have loved my niece and the name ever since.

I find it fascinating how we can choose to like or dislike something based on a deeper meaning that we associate with the object. I may not like ladders because I fell off of one when I was a kid. I may like ginger snap cookies because it reminds me of my grandpa. Or I may be completely indifferent towards something because I have never made a meaningful association with that object. I think people are much like things in this regard.

People I like are people I’m like. This is a little phrase I have been rather fond of lately because it seems to resonate true. It is not to say that I don’t like people who are different than me; I just tend to be more like those that I like most. I change. For better or worse depends upon the friends I choose. Much depends upon the associations I make.

“Pick your friends carefully.” This is advice that I often heard from Mom growing up. As I have tried to honor her, I am grateful for the difference it has made in my life. She has saved me from heartache and has allowed me some treasured moments.

We move like magnets. Gravity is not just a principle of up and down. The phenomenon of gravitation occurs when any two objects with mass are placed together and the objects naturally attract each other. We are attracted to the earth because of our relative proximity, and the size of the earth.

I believe that gravity also applies to relationships we have with others. We are attracted by both proximity and the importance we place on the relationship. Like magnets, our attraction is also based on orientation. When two magnets are positioned with a common focus, the attraction becomes stronger. Similarly we can also lose attraction when we increase distance or diminish the priority of a relationship.

I tend to feel a great deal of gravity when I make certain choices. It is divinely given to each of us to make choices between right and wrong. Our attraction to one choice or the other depends heavily upon the orientation of our moral compass. If our compass is pointed towards moral integrity we may find an increasing magnetism towards those decisions. If the needle of our compass is oriented more towards selfishness, we will find ourselves making more and more decisions that benefit ourselves at the expense of others. Occasionally our needle vacillates back and forth, leaving us a bit disoriented as to what is right and wrong. Like the example of the map I referenced last week, it is important to look closely at our destination before we set our compass.

I have found a valuable tool for tuning my compass to true north. The key is to set my heart, and my compass, in a true course that does not change before I make any subsequent decisions. By doing so, I increase the magnetism of my needle to an eternal destination – I increase my relative proximity to God, and I place greater priority on my relationship with Him than with anything else. In Doctrine & Covenants 88:63, the Lord tells Joseph Smith, “Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me….” I love the idea that the attraction is not just one way. Father wishes us to draw nearer to Him to allow Him the same opportunity. He only comes as close as we let him, out of respect for our agency.

Of all the relationships I have, I feel safest when Father is my friend. I do not replace reverence, respect or worship with casual familiarity. I do, however, maintain a deep dependence upon Him for happiness, confidence, and support, more than any other friend. The more I follow Him, the more love and gravity I feel towards Him. Each time my faith is rewarded, I develop deeper associations with Father. Covenants, obedience, and discipleship become synonymous with happiness and contentment.

When a green card representing my relationship with Father is placed on the table for me to respond to, I am more confident about winning when my hand is full of meaningful associations.


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