Watching an incensed eight-year-old can be quite amusing. Listening to her is another matter. It takes a great deal of patience when passionate words are expressed with great animosity the way they were in our house this morning. The reason? A harmless gesture of friendship, I think. The culprit remains unknown, but rumors are spreading among those who know our oldest son. The victim? Our youngest daughter, or more accurately, her injured pride.
Snow came early to our house this year, or so it seemed. No one else on the block appeared to be affected by the fresh white stuff that was delivered to our address in the middle of the night. Our yard was lightly flocked with rolls of streaming toilet paper. It actually looked quite festive, I thought. In fact, it brought back some fond memories of when I… was the age of our oldest. Back then, we referred to such an event as being toilet-papered. This morning I was corrected, or brought up to date.
“I can’t believe someone ‘toilet-ditched’ our house!” Exclaimed our eight-year old. “They’re so mean! I hate them! I don’t wanna leave the house until it’s cleaned up. It’s too embarrassing! They even got our plants!” I had a very hard time holding back the laughter, especially since she is often not inclined to clean up anything. I had no idea that she would be so bothered by such a token of friendship. “It’s not funny! It’s mean!” She retorted.
Apparently she had recently been informed about toilet-ditching by a good friend who had witnessed the same phenomenon occur across the street from her house. That was enough reason for our daughter to be indignant. Having also heard about the previous event, our next two children in line by age had somewhat milder reactions. They asked, “Why would someone do that?” When we explained how teens often view toilet-papering as a gesture to demonstrate friendship and get some attention, they seemed to be okay with it and thought it was funny, too. But not our youngest. Nope. She simply responded, “I DON’T CARE!!”
I was intrigued by how quickly an eight-year-old can make a judgment based on perception and hearsay. Intent wasn’t even taken into consideration. Immediately, walls went up and she put herself on the defensive. Reasoning didn’t seem to have any effect. The strange thing was that her emotions were real and acute. It was as if she had been personally wounded by the toilet paper, no matter how many plies of softness it had.
Like many previous instances, I found myself doing some self-examination. Am I ever too quick to judge? Do I ever disregard intent and choose to hear the parts I want to hear? Do I blow things out of proportion over something silly? Do I ignore all the good things I know because something small offends me? The answer is yes. I would dare say that most people, if not all, are sailing in the same boat on that one. Though you may not recognize it, my eight-year-old and I have a lot in common. Hopefully a few more years of experience have given me some added sophistication, but I would still admit to doing the same things in smaller ways where my judgments have a little less bite.
This pattern is worth examining more carefully so that we are not overpowered by loud voices around us. Isaiah the prophet warned, “Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter. Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight!” (Isaiah 5:20-21) Becoming angry about a display of toilet paper in one’s yard may seem a trivial thing, and indeed it is. Failing to recognize the seeds of ignorance because of our own passions and interests is not so small of a concern. Anytime I make a judgment based on limited information, and then proceed to defend it based on even more limited understanding, I engage in the process of becoming ignorant. I begin to ignore another point of view in spite of the fact that the whole scene is before my eyes, if I will but look. I can listen if I so choose. “He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.” (Matthew 11:15)
Compelling emotions such anger, love, fear, and lust become passions as they enter our hearts. Making room for good passions is not wrong. Allowing unwholesome passions to dominate our thoughts and feelings, both, is a serious concern. If our passions go unchecked, regardless of whether they are right or wrong, they become a prominent voice that can lead us toward ignorance. We ignore things that we should pay attention to. It is then that our passions override our reason and sensibility.
The prophet Alma cautioned his son, Shiblon, in his efforts to serve others with regard to passions. He said, “I would that ye would be diligent and temperate in all things. See that ye are not lifted up unto pride; yea, see that ye do not boast in your own wisdom, nor of your much strength. Use boldness, but not overbearance; and also see that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love….” (Alma 38:10-12) Alma did not tell his son to suppress his passions, or deny that they exist. Instead he told him to bridle them and control them. He instructed him to use caution by being moderate and balanced where he could maintain control. Depending on our choices, desire can become love or lust. Anger can lead to hate or positive action. If we can steer our divinely given passions, we have greater motivation to do good. It is when we allow our passions to bridle us that we become increasingly ignorant.
In my daughter’s defense with the case of toilet-ditching, there is a significant difference between ignorance and innocence, though both may result in the same outward behavior. If anything, I admire her absolute honesty in expressing feelings that she does not yet know how to control. Those who don’t have a full understanding of truth, but make the best decisions with the knowledge they have may be considered innocent. But those who have an opportunity to see and choose not to because they are empowered by their passions choose the path of ignorance. The danger of this path, the more we become familiar with it, is that we become less able to bridle our passions. As we choose to ignore truth and defend our passions, pleasure reinforces our ignorance as though it were a good behavior. We give up our innocence for ignorant pleasure.
Speaking of the mysteries of God, Alma taught the people of Ammonihah, “he that will harden his heart, the same receiveth the lesser portion of the word; and he that will not harden his heart to him is given the greater portion of the word, until it is given unto him to know the mysteries of God until he know them in full. And they that will harden their hearts, to them is given the lesser portion of the word until they know nothing concerning his mysteries; and then they are taken captive by the devil, and led by his will down to destruction. Now this is what is meant by the chains of hell.” (Alma 12:10-11)
Like our passions, our choices will take us in one of two directions. Choosing the path of the innocent will allow us to come unto Christ and follow Him. Choosing to be ignorant will lead us further away from the truth. At whatever level of ignorance we are comfortable with, our choices will lead us that much closer to the devil, causing us to follow him and become his children instead. If we truly know this, and then declare, “I DON’T CARE!” we demonstrate our own ignorance. Faithful innocence leads to intelligence, while fervent ignorance does not.
In His teachings to the Nephites of our passions and false self-justification, Jesus said, “Behold, I give unto you a commandment, that ye suffer none of these things to enter into your heart; For it is better that ye should deny yourselves of these things, wherein ye will take up your cross, than that ye should be cast into hell.” (3 Nephi 12:29-30) If these things have entered into our hearts, it would be best if they become dispensable and disposable like a roll of tissue paper. If we are going to ditch anything, it should be our bad habits, our unrestrained passions, and our self-justifications; not the Lord who has already cleared the path for us to follow Him.
On the matter of toilet paper, there are a few other things that are worth consideration. For right or wrong, our attitudes towards our passions, and the passions of others, can greatly affect our judgments. A favorable attitude towards someone we love deeply can sway our decisions to be more like them. A less favorable attitude with someone we do not see eye to eye with may cause us to misjudge their intent. In both cases, our integrity should not be disposed of like tissue paper. If it is to be dispensed, then care should be taken to share our integrity and not trade it. Once it is lost, it is hard to get it back. That’s not to say that you can’t.
In discussing our toilet-ditching with my wife this morning, she told me of a woman in the neighborhood where she grew up who had a unique attitude towards toilet-papering. There was a period of time in her family where, due to the popularity of her children, their house would be toilet-papered every other week. Instead of being angry, the mother simply tasked her children with the responsibility of gathering the toilet paper from their yard, like manna as it were, and then they would use the reclaimed tissue in their house. Consequently, they didn’t have to buy tissue paper for a long time. This mother chose to see this gesture of friendship, not as an intrusion, but as an opportunity.
What a difference it would make in life if we could harness our God-given ability to judge righteously in pursuit of intelligence instead of ignorance. When someone leaves you with a mess of toilet paper to deal with, figuratively speaking, it’s good to ask yourself, “What was their intent? Am I reading their intent correctly? Is this worth getting worked up over? How can I communicate more effectively to see their point of view?” So many problems in life would go away if people could learn how to communicate and see the point of view of someone different from themselves. Whether discussing something as trivial as toilet paper or a topic that is personal and sensitive, more can be accomplished when we are willing to have a discussion at all instead of saying, “I don’t care!”
Most situations in life have at least two perspectives. Except where eternal truths are involved, so much of what we disagree on is a matter of choice. Learning to see the point of view of others gives us a more complete picture. It’s closer to the whole picture. When we learn to see the way God sees – without bias, fear, prejudice, selfish ambition, pride, or self-justification – then we can enjoy the peace that is His, the peace that He so freely desires to give us when we turn our hearts to Him.
The cost of happiness is integrity of heart. This integrity is earned when we are willing to do the right thing for no other reason than because it is right. It comes when we are willing to put aside our differences and defend truth more than our point of view alone. This is a path to lasting happiness. Once you get a good taste, you will want to ditch any substitutes and dispose of them with your tissue paper.
Our passions, when bridled and used correctly, are powerful motivators for good. Governing our passions with integrity, to ourselves and to others, helps to maintain a focus on the things that matter most. Repeating this kind of behavior is my favorite kind of intelligence.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Pleasure Central
Today happens to be a unique occurrence where the calendar resembles a slot machine in any of a large number of Las Vegas casinos. When written numerically, today’s date appears as 10-10-10. JACKPOT!! Right? Well, even if the numbers line up for someone on a slot machine, I’m not sure that is the best indicator of whether or not they are winning where it counts. It may be a small moment of achievement for the winner when certain bells ka-ching and lights bling, but what do these signals really mean?
Friends who have been in a casino when someone has won a jackpot have described what they saw. Not being an eye-witness, I’ll have to take their word for it. Perhaps you can correct me if your experience has been different. What I have been told is that casino representatives were quickly on the scene when a slot machine announced a winner. The machine was secured and checked to make sure that the person who supplied the winning coin didn’t win by deceptive means. There was even a level of doubt about the character of the winner, as if they had committed a crime by winning. Whether or not you like to gamble is not my focus today. However, I find it fascinating that a casino representative might be more concerned about validity of a small moment of pleasure than the one who is the supposed beneficiary.
We are surrounded by an endless number of voices that labor to persuade our attentions. Some of them ka-ching and bling, and others come as sharp warnings. The same voice may be pleasing on one occasion, and painful to hear on another. To me, this suggests an important principle about discernment. How good I feel about a particular voice may not be the best indicator of whether it is right or not.
A week ago in General Conference, I heard Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles talk about lures, addictions, and pleasure. This topic has been on my mind since, especially as it relates to voices. As he spoke of addictions he said, “According to the dictionary, addiction of any kind means to surrender to something, thus relinquishing agency and becoming dependent on some life-destroying substance or behavior.” This intrigues me – the fact that certain behaviors can cause us to relinquish our ability to choose, and perhaps even recognize.
He continues, “Researchers tell us there is a mechanism in our brain called the pleasure center. When activated by certain drugs or behaviors, it overpowers the part of our brain that governs our willpower, judgment, logic, and morality. This leads the addict to abandon what he or she knows is right.”
So I wonder, “How is it that the human body can be such a divine gift and yet have inclinations that can be so self-destructive? How is it that our own internal voice can be so difficult as to discern whether it is right or not?” I believe the answer was given by King Benjamin in a discourse to his people.
“For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, … willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.” (Mosiah 3:19)
Though they appear as opposites, I don’t think it is a coincidence that the actions described by Elder Ballard are so similar to those taught by King Benjamin. Elder Ballard cautioned against surrendering to something that requires us to relinquish agency. King Benjamin encouraged his people to yield and surrender, even submit their will to God. It is not the act of surrender or submission that is good or bad. It is what we accomplish by doing so. Surrendering our will so we can make fewer choices is a damning principle. It stops our progression. Surrendering our will so we can make better choices, returns our will to us in better condition than when we gave it away. In this, the Lord is able to purify our hearts so that we have less desire to sin until, eventually, the desire to sin is gone altogether.
King Benjamin also described an important part about the voice of our souls that comes from within. It is in our natures, particularly because of the needs of the human body, that our desires make us enemies to God. It’s not that we desire to fight him, but our bodies have divinely given desires that must be controlled. And, unless we listen to God, we can easily become pleasure-centric.
In his second letter to Timothy, the apostle Paul warned “that in the last days perilous times shall come,” and that men would be “lovers of their own selves” and “lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God.” (2 Timothy 3:1-4) In this sense, pleasure becomes a more inconspicuous form of idolatry where we choose something else to have greater priority in our lives than the true and living God. When desire is shrouded in the secrecy of our hearts, pleasure becomes the invisible focus of our worship. In that moment, pleasure becomes our God.
The researchers that Elder Ballard quoted further describe the important role of pleasure in our lives. Addressing the pleasure center in the brain, the researchers indicated that our “brains are wired to ensure that we will repeat life-sustaining activities by associating those activities with pleasure or reward. Whenever this reward circuit is activated, the brain notes that something important is happening that needs to be remembered, and teaches us to do it again and again, without thinking about it.” (Drugs, Brains, and Behavior – The Science of Addiction, NIDA, p. 18) If what these researchers have indicated is true, pleasure can be a powerful influence, regardless of whether good or bad.
References in scripture seem to indicate that pleasure is neither evidence of right nor wrong. It is merely a condition. Instead, pleasure is associated with both. “The Lord taketh pleasure in them that fear him….” (Psalms 147:11) When we are willing to put God first and temporarily give up the things that our bodies may need, then we will find pleasure in the day of our fasting. (Isaiah 58:3) This suggests that we may find greater pleasure by occasionally abstaining. The opposite is also true. “He that loveth pleasure shall be a poor man,” (Proverbs 21:17) and, “she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth.” (1 Timothy 5:6) The prophet Jacob taught, “Remember, to be carnally-minded is death, and to be spiritually-minded is life eternal.” (2 Nephi 9:39)
The body alone is not capable of distinguishing between right and wrong. It does not recognize methods the way it does results. If a person is hungry, the body knows when it is fed and the need is met, but it does not care how the need was met. The body does not know if the food was a gift or if it was stolen. It does, however, acknowledge pleasure. When a need is met, the body experiences feelings of pleasure which teach us to repeat the action again and again. Herein lays a potential danger. Unless we understand what pleasure is and how it can help us, we can set ourselves up for unpleasurable experiences later on.
Too often, we allow ourselves to be deceived with regard to pleasure. If we do something we either know is wrong, or at least acknowledge that there is a possibility of being wrong, and then feel pleasure because a need was met, the body attempts to reinforce that behavior. Most often, this feeling of pleasure makes us feel very good. Bells ka-ching and lights start to bling, indicating that we have won the jackpot. At least that is what the carnally-centered body thinks. The best defense to being deceived is to be spiritually-centered instead. Deceiving ourselves with positive reinforcement for behavior that is not good makes it harder and harder to recognize and accept truth. It also makes it more difficult to repent, having convinced ourselves that we are not in error.
Because the body doesn’t acknowledge the methods by which our needs are met, pleasure alone is not a good indicator if something is right or not. It may indicate that the result is right, but it doesn’t justify intent. That requires the spirit. It is by the Spirit that we are justified. (Moses 6:60) When our bodies tell us that an action or decision is right and our spirits tell us the opposite, we are left feeling conflicted. Internally we experience chaos which remains until we can resolve our feelings and make them feel at one.
If we listen to our bodies and ignore our spirits, then the Holy Spirit will withdraw His help and influence, leaving us to our own persuasions. When this happens, we truly become an enemy to God. If instead we listen to our spirits when we receive spiritual promptings and we override the potential temptations of pleasure, we learn restraint and we keep ourselves from being deceived.
Because the soul is comprised of the spirit and the body, we can’t find true happiness by only listening to half of the story. Pleasure is only half of the equation that equals lasting happiness. If you can find pleasure and keep the influence of the Holy Spirit as a constant companion, then you will find the peace that comes by living a life that is consistent with truth. When we master our bodies, and our spirits and our bodies work together, it is then that we become more like God. We shouldn’t confuse the joy of the spirit with the pleasure of the body. It is important to learn the difference. They can be congruent, but are often not.
There is too much at stake to gamble with our salvation by trusting in pleasure alone. Pleasure can lead us to lasting happiness if it reinforces good behavior. When it reinforces bad behavior, it will lead us in the wrong direction. The numbers might line up if we are lucky, but that only works well in a casino. If our bodies truly are temples, then we need to make sure that they remain a place where our spirits can choose freely without deception. We need to be able to feel the presence of the Holy Spirit. Instead of reducing pleasure, this will allow us to experience more pleasure without the guilt. With a dose of restraint, we can learn to choose the will of God over a pleasure-centric life.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Friends who have been in a casino when someone has won a jackpot have described what they saw. Not being an eye-witness, I’ll have to take their word for it. Perhaps you can correct me if your experience has been different. What I have been told is that casino representatives were quickly on the scene when a slot machine announced a winner. The machine was secured and checked to make sure that the person who supplied the winning coin didn’t win by deceptive means. There was even a level of doubt about the character of the winner, as if they had committed a crime by winning. Whether or not you like to gamble is not my focus today. However, I find it fascinating that a casino representative might be more concerned about validity of a small moment of pleasure than the one who is the supposed beneficiary.
We are surrounded by an endless number of voices that labor to persuade our attentions. Some of them ka-ching and bling, and others come as sharp warnings. The same voice may be pleasing on one occasion, and painful to hear on another. To me, this suggests an important principle about discernment. How good I feel about a particular voice may not be the best indicator of whether it is right or not.
A week ago in General Conference, I heard Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles talk about lures, addictions, and pleasure. This topic has been on my mind since, especially as it relates to voices. As he spoke of addictions he said, “According to the dictionary, addiction of any kind means to surrender to something, thus relinquishing agency and becoming dependent on some life-destroying substance or behavior.” This intrigues me – the fact that certain behaviors can cause us to relinquish our ability to choose, and perhaps even recognize.
He continues, “Researchers tell us there is a mechanism in our brain called the pleasure center. When activated by certain drugs or behaviors, it overpowers the part of our brain that governs our willpower, judgment, logic, and morality. This leads the addict to abandon what he or she knows is right.”
So I wonder, “How is it that the human body can be such a divine gift and yet have inclinations that can be so self-destructive? How is it that our own internal voice can be so difficult as to discern whether it is right or not?” I believe the answer was given by King Benjamin in a discourse to his people.
“For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, … willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.” (Mosiah 3:19)
Though they appear as opposites, I don’t think it is a coincidence that the actions described by Elder Ballard are so similar to those taught by King Benjamin. Elder Ballard cautioned against surrendering to something that requires us to relinquish agency. King Benjamin encouraged his people to yield and surrender, even submit their will to God. It is not the act of surrender or submission that is good or bad. It is what we accomplish by doing so. Surrendering our will so we can make fewer choices is a damning principle. It stops our progression. Surrendering our will so we can make better choices, returns our will to us in better condition than when we gave it away. In this, the Lord is able to purify our hearts so that we have less desire to sin until, eventually, the desire to sin is gone altogether.
King Benjamin also described an important part about the voice of our souls that comes from within. It is in our natures, particularly because of the needs of the human body, that our desires make us enemies to God. It’s not that we desire to fight him, but our bodies have divinely given desires that must be controlled. And, unless we listen to God, we can easily become pleasure-centric.
In his second letter to Timothy, the apostle Paul warned “that in the last days perilous times shall come,” and that men would be “lovers of their own selves” and “lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God.” (2 Timothy 3:1-4) In this sense, pleasure becomes a more inconspicuous form of idolatry where we choose something else to have greater priority in our lives than the true and living God. When desire is shrouded in the secrecy of our hearts, pleasure becomes the invisible focus of our worship. In that moment, pleasure becomes our God.
The researchers that Elder Ballard quoted further describe the important role of pleasure in our lives. Addressing the pleasure center in the brain, the researchers indicated that our “brains are wired to ensure that we will repeat life-sustaining activities by associating those activities with pleasure or reward. Whenever this reward circuit is activated, the brain notes that something important is happening that needs to be remembered, and teaches us to do it again and again, without thinking about it.” (Drugs, Brains, and Behavior – The Science of Addiction, NIDA, p. 18) If what these researchers have indicated is true, pleasure can be a powerful influence, regardless of whether good or bad.
References in scripture seem to indicate that pleasure is neither evidence of right nor wrong. It is merely a condition. Instead, pleasure is associated with both. “The Lord taketh pleasure in them that fear him….” (Psalms 147:11) When we are willing to put God first and temporarily give up the things that our bodies may need, then we will find pleasure in the day of our fasting. (Isaiah 58:3) This suggests that we may find greater pleasure by occasionally abstaining. The opposite is also true. “He that loveth pleasure shall be a poor man,” (Proverbs 21:17) and, “she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth.” (1 Timothy 5:6) The prophet Jacob taught, “Remember, to be carnally-minded is death, and to be spiritually-minded is life eternal.” (2 Nephi 9:39)
The body alone is not capable of distinguishing between right and wrong. It does not recognize methods the way it does results. If a person is hungry, the body knows when it is fed and the need is met, but it does not care how the need was met. The body does not know if the food was a gift or if it was stolen. It does, however, acknowledge pleasure. When a need is met, the body experiences feelings of pleasure which teach us to repeat the action again and again. Herein lays a potential danger. Unless we understand what pleasure is and how it can help us, we can set ourselves up for unpleasurable experiences later on.
Too often, we allow ourselves to be deceived with regard to pleasure. If we do something we either know is wrong, or at least acknowledge that there is a possibility of being wrong, and then feel pleasure because a need was met, the body attempts to reinforce that behavior. Most often, this feeling of pleasure makes us feel very good. Bells ka-ching and lights start to bling, indicating that we have won the jackpot. At least that is what the carnally-centered body thinks. The best defense to being deceived is to be spiritually-centered instead. Deceiving ourselves with positive reinforcement for behavior that is not good makes it harder and harder to recognize and accept truth. It also makes it more difficult to repent, having convinced ourselves that we are not in error.
Because the body doesn’t acknowledge the methods by which our needs are met, pleasure alone is not a good indicator if something is right or not. It may indicate that the result is right, but it doesn’t justify intent. That requires the spirit. It is by the Spirit that we are justified. (Moses 6:60) When our bodies tell us that an action or decision is right and our spirits tell us the opposite, we are left feeling conflicted. Internally we experience chaos which remains until we can resolve our feelings and make them feel at one.
If we listen to our bodies and ignore our spirits, then the Holy Spirit will withdraw His help and influence, leaving us to our own persuasions. When this happens, we truly become an enemy to God. If instead we listen to our spirits when we receive spiritual promptings and we override the potential temptations of pleasure, we learn restraint and we keep ourselves from being deceived.
Because the soul is comprised of the spirit and the body, we can’t find true happiness by only listening to half of the story. Pleasure is only half of the equation that equals lasting happiness. If you can find pleasure and keep the influence of the Holy Spirit as a constant companion, then you will find the peace that comes by living a life that is consistent with truth. When we master our bodies, and our spirits and our bodies work together, it is then that we become more like God. We shouldn’t confuse the joy of the spirit with the pleasure of the body. It is important to learn the difference. They can be congruent, but are often not.
There is too much at stake to gamble with our salvation by trusting in pleasure alone. Pleasure can lead us to lasting happiness if it reinforces good behavior. When it reinforces bad behavior, it will lead us in the wrong direction. The numbers might line up if we are lucky, but that only works well in a casino. If our bodies truly are temples, then we need to make sure that they remain a place where our spirits can choose freely without deception. We need to be able to feel the presence of the Holy Spirit. Instead of reducing pleasure, this will allow us to experience more pleasure without the guilt. With a dose of restraint, we can learn to choose the will of God over a pleasure-centric life.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Voices
Mindswept with noise and distraction,
Ubiquitous sounds that permeate and tangle my thoughts,
I savor the unique familiarity that calls my name
With resonant feeling,
Opening doors to things I once felt.
Today, I retrieve and gather
The seeming remnants of purpose that span forever,
Spoken with a soft and gentle voice,
A constant presence,
To find answers of hope and clarity.
Intently I listen to calming words,
Attempting to cut through the ever present raucous
That shrouds my understanding
In order to see
Things as they really are.
There is elegant beauty about the voice
Contrasting the sharp emptiness of what I know not
With understanding that lightly distills
On heart and soul,
Leaving lasting impressions.
Whether the voice of a dear friend, servant or Master,
I cherish the conversations that repeat greater meanings
Each in like pattern of that most familiar,
Still and small,
Voices within a voice.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Ubiquitous sounds that permeate and tangle my thoughts,
I savor the unique familiarity that calls my name
With resonant feeling,
Opening doors to things I once felt.
Today, I retrieve and gather
The seeming remnants of purpose that span forever,
Spoken with a soft and gentle voice,
A constant presence,
To find answers of hope and clarity.
Intently I listen to calming words,
Attempting to cut through the ever present raucous
That shrouds my understanding
In order to see
Things as they really are.
There is elegant beauty about the voice
Contrasting the sharp emptiness of what I know not
With understanding that lightly distills
On heart and soul,
Leaving lasting impressions.
Whether the voice of a dear friend, servant or Master,
I cherish the conversations that repeat greater meanings
Each in like pattern of that most familiar,
Still and small,
Voices within a voice.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Pointing the Way
I think she was an angel, just a different sort. The woman had beautiful white hair and she was dressed completely in white to match. Were it not for the fact that I had just arrived at the temple, and that this is not an uncommon experience there, she might have given me enough reason to think she was a heavenly messenger. Instead, her life is still grounded by mortality and a desire to serve others.
Upon my entering the Salt Lake Temple, the woman in white greeted me. She stood waiting to point the way for me to go, wanting to make sure that my experience was as pleasant as possible. Though I have been to the temple many, many times and am quite familiar with finding my way, her presence provided a good reminder of what a difference one person can make in the experience of another. As I approached, she smiled and said hello. She made me feel welcome.
There are many who go to the temple for the first time, either to receive their own endowment, or because they have come from a far distance to visit a particular temple. Even in a place that is as holy and beautiful as a temple, one can feel a little disconcerted if he or she is not sure what to do or where to go. You may know that you are in the right place at the right time, but beyond that you might ask, “Now what?”
On any given visit to the temple, I may meet six or seven temple workers who are there just to greet me at various points. I have thought about how different my experience would be if they were not there. What would it feel like to be greeted by signs instead of a person? Would I feel more like a stranger in the Lord’s Holy House? Because the temple is the House of the Lord, signs are not enough. A house suggests hospitality. It is a place for family, friends, and warm welcomes. A home is a place of belonging.
As children of our Father in Heaven, we have all left our heavenly home for a time with the expectation of returning. In order to go back, we are required to demonstrate to Him that we really do want to – that we are willing to do anything to get there. While we are mere strangers here, this earth is intended to be our temporary home until we can again enter the presence of the Lord. It is the right place, and this is the right time to be tested. Though this is by design, signs from heaven may not be sufficient to make us feel welcome and comfortable for this earthly home that God has prepared for us. Someone who cares, standing at the crossroads of life’s decisions, can make all the difference in helping a fellow brother or sister to feel completely welcome.
Throughout my life there have been many individuals who have stood at the crossroads of my decisions, ready to greet me and offer some direction.
They have provided comfort just when it was needed most. Their experience has provided a sense of familiarity that I could not get on my own. Throughout my life I have relied heavily on my parents and family. My wife has supported me unlike anyone else in the world and has provided a spring of hope and encouragement. Close friends have been an invaluable blessing to me. At times when I have felt weakest, I have become much stronger as I have learned to depend on them. Those who are closest to me have greeted me with their hearts and have shaped who I have become. Without them, this life would not even closely resemble home.
There is great power in presence, and not just physical presence, but presence of heart and mind. Most often when I am going through a difficult change in my life, a friend may not be able to take the difficulty away. Doing so may actually defeat the purpose of being here on earth. The presence of a friend, however, seems to distribute the load that I carry in a way that is more bearable. It helps me to feel that I am not alone and allows me to focus on what I am supposed to learn instead of the difficulty of the moment.
Another presence that has shaped my decisions is that of the Holy Ghost. Similarly, the Holy Ghost won’t take away my challenges, but He will bring me comfort. His presence strengthens me. It inspires me to do great things. He helps me to believe that I can, and then He reminds me that I did, so I will have the faith to do it again.
Some of the most influential moments in my life have come when I have experienced the combined presence of those pointing the way – when I feel the warmth of those who are closest to me along with the presence of the Holy Ghost. The presence of God seems to cement any relationship. It amplifies and enriches. If a friend can do much to bring comfort, then a friend who brings the spirit with them can work miracles, and all just because of presence.
In life there are individuals, and even organizations, that are willing to point a direction, but they point the wrong way. Instead of pointing towards the happiness that comes from restraint and discipline, they are busy directing traffic towards selfish motives and gainful employment for the adversary. Occasionally, this comes from those who are well-intended and are not meaning to distract me. As comforting as it is to have the presence of friends, I am quick to see what friends they bring with them. Do they bring the spirit with them? Do they take the Holy Spirit as their guide? While a friend may not be able to receive revelation for me, I can judge the power of their presence by what I feel, and by how much I feel the power of the Holy Ghost.
There are individuals who do have the authority to receive revelation for me. I will never forget that my parents will always have that stewardship, and that I will do well to honor them in righteousness. Additionally, local priesthood leaders who hold priesthood keys have been called of God to guide me and point the way. I honor and respect them as I do my own parents. While neither my leaders nor my parents are perfect, I can judge the power of their presence by what I feel.
In a week from now, I will have the opportunity to be taught by other friends, most of whom I have not met. I call them friends because I feel they sincerely have my personal interests at heart. I have found them to be unwavering in their efforts to lead me to faith in Jesus Christ. They have been diligent in helping me to return to my home with Father. They are consistent in helping me to feel the Spirit of the Lord. These friends provide me good counsel and direction that enable me to make good decisions.
God speaks to living prophets today. They hear His voice in much the same way I do when I receive answers to my prayers. They hear His voice through the gentle promptings of the Holy Ghost. The presence of the comforter directs them to teach the things that Father wants us to be taught. That presence also confirms the truth of what we hear in our hearts.
The prophet Nephi taught that the will of God is “manifest unto the prophet by the voice of the Spirit; for by the Spirit are all things made known unto the prophets, which shall come upon the children of men according to the flesh… both temporal and spiritual….” (1 Nephi 22:2-3) Further he taught, “when a man speaketh by the power of the Holy Ghost the power of the Holy Ghost carrieth it unto the hearts of the children of men.” (2 Nephi 33:1)
The Lord also revealed to Joseph Smith, “Verily I say unto you, he that is ordained of me and sent forth to preach the word of truth by the Comforter, in the Spirit of truth, doth he preach it by the Spirit of truth or some other way? And if it be by some other way it is not of God. Therefore, why is it that ye cannot understand and know, that he that receiveth the word by the Spirit of truth receiveth it as it is preached by the Spirit of truth? Wherefore, he that preacheth and he that receiveth, understand one another, and both are edified and rejoice together.” (Doctrine & Covenants 50:17-22)
What a blessing it is to receive personal revelation and learn how to communicate with God. What a gift it is to receive the Holy Ghost by receiving revelation.
During the times where we still feel alone, Father places others in our lives who can stand at the crossroads of difficult experiences. He provides family and friends who can help point the way. Their presence combined with the presence of the Holy Ghost can restore our faith and secure our hope. The signs of the second coming are increasing, but they may not be sufficient to bring us all the comfort we need. It is when I put my faith in those whom God has called to testify to His children that I find lasting peace. As I listen and affirm my willingness to yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, I find the strength to do the most difficult things. It is after those moments of trial, whether clear or ambiguous, that the confirming feeling of peace settles in my heart that Jesus lives and He will come again.
If you have not had a chance to listen to the words of living prophets and apostles, I invite you to join with me this next weekend in the General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to hear their words and judge for yourself the direction that they point. If you have listened to them before, then I invite you to listen again and again, and seek the confirming voice of the Holy Spirit that what they say is true.
I add my witness that God speaks to His children today. I know His servants the prophets speak His will. These are heavenly messengers, grounded to mortality through their service. As I listen to the Holy Spirit and follow, there is a peace that fills my heart unlike any other.
I am grateful for family, friends, and dearest loved ones who have been there for me during difficult times. They are the angels in my life who have pointed the way. You know who you are. Thank you!
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Upon my entering the Salt Lake Temple, the woman in white greeted me. She stood waiting to point the way for me to go, wanting to make sure that my experience was as pleasant as possible. Though I have been to the temple many, many times and am quite familiar with finding my way, her presence provided a good reminder of what a difference one person can make in the experience of another. As I approached, she smiled and said hello. She made me feel welcome.
There are many who go to the temple for the first time, either to receive their own endowment, or because they have come from a far distance to visit a particular temple. Even in a place that is as holy and beautiful as a temple, one can feel a little disconcerted if he or she is not sure what to do or where to go. You may know that you are in the right place at the right time, but beyond that you might ask, “Now what?”
On any given visit to the temple, I may meet six or seven temple workers who are there just to greet me at various points. I have thought about how different my experience would be if they were not there. What would it feel like to be greeted by signs instead of a person? Would I feel more like a stranger in the Lord’s Holy House? Because the temple is the House of the Lord, signs are not enough. A house suggests hospitality. It is a place for family, friends, and warm welcomes. A home is a place of belonging.
As children of our Father in Heaven, we have all left our heavenly home for a time with the expectation of returning. In order to go back, we are required to demonstrate to Him that we really do want to – that we are willing to do anything to get there. While we are mere strangers here, this earth is intended to be our temporary home until we can again enter the presence of the Lord. It is the right place, and this is the right time to be tested. Though this is by design, signs from heaven may not be sufficient to make us feel welcome and comfortable for this earthly home that God has prepared for us. Someone who cares, standing at the crossroads of life’s decisions, can make all the difference in helping a fellow brother or sister to feel completely welcome.
Throughout my life there have been many individuals who have stood at the crossroads of my decisions, ready to greet me and offer some direction.
They have provided comfort just when it was needed most. Their experience has provided a sense of familiarity that I could not get on my own. Throughout my life I have relied heavily on my parents and family. My wife has supported me unlike anyone else in the world and has provided a spring of hope and encouragement. Close friends have been an invaluable blessing to me. At times when I have felt weakest, I have become much stronger as I have learned to depend on them. Those who are closest to me have greeted me with their hearts and have shaped who I have become. Without them, this life would not even closely resemble home.
There is great power in presence, and not just physical presence, but presence of heart and mind. Most often when I am going through a difficult change in my life, a friend may not be able to take the difficulty away. Doing so may actually defeat the purpose of being here on earth. The presence of a friend, however, seems to distribute the load that I carry in a way that is more bearable. It helps me to feel that I am not alone and allows me to focus on what I am supposed to learn instead of the difficulty of the moment.
Another presence that has shaped my decisions is that of the Holy Ghost. Similarly, the Holy Ghost won’t take away my challenges, but He will bring me comfort. His presence strengthens me. It inspires me to do great things. He helps me to believe that I can, and then He reminds me that I did, so I will have the faith to do it again.
Some of the most influential moments in my life have come when I have experienced the combined presence of those pointing the way – when I feel the warmth of those who are closest to me along with the presence of the Holy Ghost. The presence of God seems to cement any relationship. It amplifies and enriches. If a friend can do much to bring comfort, then a friend who brings the spirit with them can work miracles, and all just because of presence.
In life there are individuals, and even organizations, that are willing to point a direction, but they point the wrong way. Instead of pointing towards the happiness that comes from restraint and discipline, they are busy directing traffic towards selfish motives and gainful employment for the adversary. Occasionally, this comes from those who are well-intended and are not meaning to distract me. As comforting as it is to have the presence of friends, I am quick to see what friends they bring with them. Do they bring the spirit with them? Do they take the Holy Spirit as their guide? While a friend may not be able to receive revelation for me, I can judge the power of their presence by what I feel, and by how much I feel the power of the Holy Ghost.
There are individuals who do have the authority to receive revelation for me. I will never forget that my parents will always have that stewardship, and that I will do well to honor them in righteousness. Additionally, local priesthood leaders who hold priesthood keys have been called of God to guide me and point the way. I honor and respect them as I do my own parents. While neither my leaders nor my parents are perfect, I can judge the power of their presence by what I feel.
In a week from now, I will have the opportunity to be taught by other friends, most of whom I have not met. I call them friends because I feel they sincerely have my personal interests at heart. I have found them to be unwavering in their efforts to lead me to faith in Jesus Christ. They have been diligent in helping me to return to my home with Father. They are consistent in helping me to feel the Spirit of the Lord. These friends provide me good counsel and direction that enable me to make good decisions.
God speaks to living prophets today. They hear His voice in much the same way I do when I receive answers to my prayers. They hear His voice through the gentle promptings of the Holy Ghost. The presence of the comforter directs them to teach the things that Father wants us to be taught. That presence also confirms the truth of what we hear in our hearts.
The prophet Nephi taught that the will of God is “manifest unto the prophet by the voice of the Spirit; for by the Spirit are all things made known unto the prophets, which shall come upon the children of men according to the flesh… both temporal and spiritual….” (1 Nephi 22:2-3) Further he taught, “when a man speaketh by the power of the Holy Ghost the power of the Holy Ghost carrieth it unto the hearts of the children of men.” (2 Nephi 33:1)
The Lord also revealed to Joseph Smith, “Verily I say unto you, he that is ordained of me and sent forth to preach the word of truth by the Comforter, in the Spirit of truth, doth he preach it by the Spirit of truth or some other way? And if it be by some other way it is not of God. Therefore, why is it that ye cannot understand and know, that he that receiveth the word by the Spirit of truth receiveth it as it is preached by the Spirit of truth? Wherefore, he that preacheth and he that receiveth, understand one another, and both are edified and rejoice together.” (Doctrine & Covenants 50:17-22)
What a blessing it is to receive personal revelation and learn how to communicate with God. What a gift it is to receive the Holy Ghost by receiving revelation.
During the times where we still feel alone, Father places others in our lives who can stand at the crossroads of difficult experiences. He provides family and friends who can help point the way. Their presence combined with the presence of the Holy Ghost can restore our faith and secure our hope. The signs of the second coming are increasing, but they may not be sufficient to bring us all the comfort we need. It is when I put my faith in those whom God has called to testify to His children that I find lasting peace. As I listen and affirm my willingness to yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, I find the strength to do the most difficult things. It is after those moments of trial, whether clear or ambiguous, that the confirming feeling of peace settles in my heart that Jesus lives and He will come again.
If you have not had a chance to listen to the words of living prophets and apostles, I invite you to join with me this next weekend in the General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to hear their words and judge for yourself the direction that they point. If you have listened to them before, then I invite you to listen again and again, and seek the confirming voice of the Holy Spirit that what they say is true.
I add my witness that God speaks to His children today. I know His servants the prophets speak His will. These are heavenly messengers, grounded to mortality through their service. As I listen to the Holy Spirit and follow, there is a peace that fills my heart unlike any other.
I am grateful for family, friends, and dearest loved ones who have been there for me during difficult times. They are the angels in my life who have pointed the way. You know who you are. Thank you!
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Someone To Talk To
Having a friend to talk with can be a wonderful gift when you are going through a difficult trial. Quite often, it’s nice just to have someone who will simply listen so you don’t feel alone. Many of life’s difficulties become much easier to bear when there is someone else who is at least aware of what you are going through. Their prayers can make a big difference in helping to bear your burdens.
Just prior to the Savior’s most lonely moments, he met with his beloved apostles for the Last Supper. He knew the magnitude of the burden He would have to bear, and he chose to be with those who were closest to Him. There he called them “friends,” and said, “Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you….” (John 15:14-16) What a beautiful thing it is that Jesus would trust and confide in those who could give Him strength in his trials. I can think of no greater compliment than for the Lord to acknowledge me as His friend. I can only hope that someday I will have lived worthy enough to have such a privilege.
As the evening went on, Jesus described the difficulties that He would shortly face. He also told His apostles the difficulties they would face as His friends. Yet He promised them a gift for loving Him. “And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; Even the Spirit of truth … for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. … Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:16-17, 27) Being a friend to Jesus is not an easy thing. It is sure to be difficult. During times of loneliness when our burdens seem greater than we can bear, I am grateful that He has promised to help us.
Recently, I experienced a difficult trial that weighed heavily on my heart. I felt that I was again riding upon the waves of a raging tempest, and the ups and downs seemed too hard to bear. What seemed worse was that I experienced a moment of ambiguity where I hoped to feel the influence of the Holy Spirit and did not. That influence had not left me, but I didn’t feel the clear direction that I had prayed for. Instead, I felt distance. I also found it very interesting that I did feel the promptings of the Holy Spirit in other matters, just not in that particular one. I believe I was being tested to see what I would do on my own.
I reflected on what Jesus did after the Last Supper as He went with His disciples to the Garden of Gethsemane. There he asked Peter, James, and John to watch and pray with Him. Sadly, in His time of need, they were not able to stay awake. Their own trials were bearing down on them and they could do nothing to help Him. It was in that moment of loneliness that Jesus called upon His Father in prayer and was strengthened by an angel who visited Him. Sometimes, when I need someone to talk to, and it seems there is nowhere else to turn, Father is always waiting to listen. I believe He gives us difficult experiences where no one else seems able to help because it causes us to turn to Him.
Earlier this year, I experienced similar trials where the ups and downs seemed unbearable. At times they felt like a rollercoaster of seismic activity. As that trial seemed to conclude I remember having the impression that the ups and downs of the previous year were just preparing me for another seismic event. I was being prepared for the next lesson. As I experienced a new set of ups and downs, I asked myself, “Is this it? Is this the culminating point of that impression?” I believe so. Remembering the impression didn’t take away the burden, but it did help to see that the Lord’s hand was in it and that I shouldn’t despair.
In the midst of the ups and downs, I found that I had emotional swings where I seemed to feel the spirit very clearly, alternating with moments of doubt and fog. On one particular morning a few weeks ago, there was an amazing thunder storm outside. I usually enjoy a good storm, but this time I felt different. Instead I felt great discouragement and despair. Things seemed very dark. I even felt as though I was encompassed about by the adversary, and I was troubled.
The next day I was still pondering the questions that had been on my mind, hoping for some answers. I ached. Before going to work, I stopped by a nearby cemetery to think and pray. That particular cemetery has been a good place for me to go when I need a few minutes of solitude – a place where I can eliminate distractions. I still felt confused about my direction. At times things seemed so clear, and then they would go foggy and not make as much sense. I was frustrated that I felt so distant from the spirit on this matter, that I was not receiving any revelation. That is when I began to pray.
As I sat in my car, I pled with Father to let me hear His voice again, or rather to have that familiar feeling that I am used to when I communicate with Him. I needed someone to talk to. As I did so, I felt the peace I was seeking return to my heart. I also had a reaffirmation that Father does hear and answer prayers.
I decided to test the pattern for receiving revelation, namely to study an issue out in my mind, come to a decision as to what was right, and then wait for the confirmation of the Holy Spirit. (Doctrine & Covenants 9:8) It is a simple process with many applications. Having faith in Jesus Christ is not just believing that He lived and that He will come again, it also includes having faith that what He said is true – true enough that it will work for me. This is what happened in my circumstance.
Pleading with Father, I asked a few questions and received some real time answers. It wasn’t like an audible voice. It was a very subtle feeling that I can never feel unless I am truly honest with myself and I have intent to learn and follow. The answers came as I asked the questions, tried to think what the correct answers might be, and then waited for the familiar feeling of the spirit to confirm or refute my thoughts.
In order to receive answers to prayer, I believe that the person praying has to believe, or at least have a hope, that Father does hear and answer prayers. He does so line upon line, and precept upon precept. This means that I may not receive the answers that I expect, but He will tell me just enough of what I need to know in order to complete my test.
As I asked my first question, “Am I wrong in my intent?” I thought in my mind that the answer was no. At the same time I felt the confirming peace in my heart that the impression was correct. I would have been uncertain had it not been for the familiarity of that peaceful feeling – a feeling that always comes when the Spirit of the Lord is near.
I then asked my second question, “Is my current course the right direction to continue in?” In my mind I thought yes, which again was confirmed by that peaceful feeling that comes from the Comforter. When I asked my third question, “Will my trial ever change?” I had a different thought that equated to, “John, that’s not for you to know right now. Be patient.” This, too, was accompanied by that familiar feeling. It wasn’t the answer I wanted to hear, but I knew it was right in my heart. It didn’t come in the form of words, but as I felt the meaning in the impression, those were the words that seemed most appropriate to dress the meaning in. As I did so, the Holy Ghost confirmed that the feeling was correct.
Two additional questions were answered for me that helped me to feel better about the moments of clarity I had felt before. When I felt surrounded by fog and despair, it was easy to question those moments of clarity and doubt that my prayers had really been answered. Some of the questions were difficult to ask, because I believed I would get an answer I didn’t want. I did, but I had to know. I needed to feel like I could progress again. There are a lot of things I have wanted in my life, but above all, when I have tried to make the right choice, things have always worked out for the best. Though I didn’t receive all the answers I wanted, and some of the answers were not what I had hoped for, my faith was enlarged by the fact that I needed someone to talk to, and Father heard.
There is a verse of scripture that is very familiar to me, and definitely a foundation for my faith. The apostle James taught, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.” (James 1:5-6)
In order to overcome my own tempest-tossed emotions, I had to stabilize my faith first, and put my trust in God. For me, that meant that I had to be willing to do whatever He wants me to do. If I can be completely honest with myself in that regard, then He can be honest with me.
Not all answers to prayer come instantaneously. Mine came after months of prayer, work, and pondering. Some take more time than others, and usually this has more to do with my own understanding. When I don’t get answers to the questions I ask in prayer, I try to examine why. If God reveals things to us line upon line, am I asking for an answer that requires me to skip several lines? Is there is a simpler question that is more pertinent to my current circumstance? If I can’t have the answer to why, then maybe I can at least get an answer to what I should do right now. Asking, “What would Thou have me do?” can help me sift through what I want in order to discover what God wants for me at that moment.
God’s purpose in testing us is to help us. So often it seems that needed help comes when I am about to give up but choose to hold on a little longer and rely on my faith. That’s when I receive my witness.
By the end of that day, other events occurred that were an answer to my morning prayer, as well as months of prayer. My trial had come to an end, or at least that part of my lesson was complete. I am sure I am only being prepared for the next test whenever it may be. But this much I know, each of us is given trials to test our faith. If it is my faith that is being tested, then it is my faith that I should apply as quickly as possible. Any delay that I exhibit may prolong my trial. But when I turn my heart to Father, I know that He hears and answers prayers.
Most importantly, I have again learned one of the many ways that Father will answer prayers. If we have the faith to study out a question and come to the best answer possible, He will send the Comforter to let us know if the path we are on is correct. Though we may each feel the Holy Spirit in a different way, the pattern is promised. We need not endure our own Gethsemane to be assured that God lives and that He hears and answers prayers. When we need someone to talk to, He is always listening.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Just prior to the Savior’s most lonely moments, he met with his beloved apostles for the Last Supper. He knew the magnitude of the burden He would have to bear, and he chose to be with those who were closest to Him. There he called them “friends,” and said, “Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you….” (John 15:14-16) What a beautiful thing it is that Jesus would trust and confide in those who could give Him strength in his trials. I can think of no greater compliment than for the Lord to acknowledge me as His friend. I can only hope that someday I will have lived worthy enough to have such a privilege.
As the evening went on, Jesus described the difficulties that He would shortly face. He also told His apostles the difficulties they would face as His friends. Yet He promised them a gift for loving Him. “And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; Even the Spirit of truth … for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. … Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:16-17, 27) Being a friend to Jesus is not an easy thing. It is sure to be difficult. During times of loneliness when our burdens seem greater than we can bear, I am grateful that He has promised to help us.
Recently, I experienced a difficult trial that weighed heavily on my heart. I felt that I was again riding upon the waves of a raging tempest, and the ups and downs seemed too hard to bear. What seemed worse was that I experienced a moment of ambiguity where I hoped to feel the influence of the Holy Spirit and did not. That influence had not left me, but I didn’t feel the clear direction that I had prayed for. Instead, I felt distance. I also found it very interesting that I did feel the promptings of the Holy Spirit in other matters, just not in that particular one. I believe I was being tested to see what I would do on my own.
I reflected on what Jesus did after the Last Supper as He went with His disciples to the Garden of Gethsemane. There he asked Peter, James, and John to watch and pray with Him. Sadly, in His time of need, they were not able to stay awake. Their own trials were bearing down on them and they could do nothing to help Him. It was in that moment of loneliness that Jesus called upon His Father in prayer and was strengthened by an angel who visited Him. Sometimes, when I need someone to talk to, and it seems there is nowhere else to turn, Father is always waiting to listen. I believe He gives us difficult experiences where no one else seems able to help because it causes us to turn to Him.
Earlier this year, I experienced similar trials where the ups and downs seemed unbearable. At times they felt like a rollercoaster of seismic activity. As that trial seemed to conclude I remember having the impression that the ups and downs of the previous year were just preparing me for another seismic event. I was being prepared for the next lesson. As I experienced a new set of ups and downs, I asked myself, “Is this it? Is this the culminating point of that impression?” I believe so. Remembering the impression didn’t take away the burden, but it did help to see that the Lord’s hand was in it and that I shouldn’t despair.
In the midst of the ups and downs, I found that I had emotional swings where I seemed to feel the spirit very clearly, alternating with moments of doubt and fog. On one particular morning a few weeks ago, there was an amazing thunder storm outside. I usually enjoy a good storm, but this time I felt different. Instead I felt great discouragement and despair. Things seemed very dark. I even felt as though I was encompassed about by the adversary, and I was troubled.
The next day I was still pondering the questions that had been on my mind, hoping for some answers. I ached. Before going to work, I stopped by a nearby cemetery to think and pray. That particular cemetery has been a good place for me to go when I need a few minutes of solitude – a place where I can eliminate distractions. I still felt confused about my direction. At times things seemed so clear, and then they would go foggy and not make as much sense. I was frustrated that I felt so distant from the spirit on this matter, that I was not receiving any revelation. That is when I began to pray.
As I sat in my car, I pled with Father to let me hear His voice again, or rather to have that familiar feeling that I am used to when I communicate with Him. I needed someone to talk to. As I did so, I felt the peace I was seeking return to my heart. I also had a reaffirmation that Father does hear and answer prayers.
I decided to test the pattern for receiving revelation, namely to study an issue out in my mind, come to a decision as to what was right, and then wait for the confirmation of the Holy Spirit. (Doctrine & Covenants 9:8) It is a simple process with many applications. Having faith in Jesus Christ is not just believing that He lived and that He will come again, it also includes having faith that what He said is true – true enough that it will work for me. This is what happened in my circumstance.
Pleading with Father, I asked a few questions and received some real time answers. It wasn’t like an audible voice. It was a very subtle feeling that I can never feel unless I am truly honest with myself and I have intent to learn and follow. The answers came as I asked the questions, tried to think what the correct answers might be, and then waited for the familiar feeling of the spirit to confirm or refute my thoughts.
In order to receive answers to prayer, I believe that the person praying has to believe, or at least have a hope, that Father does hear and answer prayers. He does so line upon line, and precept upon precept. This means that I may not receive the answers that I expect, but He will tell me just enough of what I need to know in order to complete my test.
As I asked my first question, “Am I wrong in my intent?” I thought in my mind that the answer was no. At the same time I felt the confirming peace in my heart that the impression was correct. I would have been uncertain had it not been for the familiarity of that peaceful feeling – a feeling that always comes when the Spirit of the Lord is near.
I then asked my second question, “Is my current course the right direction to continue in?” In my mind I thought yes, which again was confirmed by that peaceful feeling that comes from the Comforter. When I asked my third question, “Will my trial ever change?” I had a different thought that equated to, “John, that’s not for you to know right now. Be patient.” This, too, was accompanied by that familiar feeling. It wasn’t the answer I wanted to hear, but I knew it was right in my heart. It didn’t come in the form of words, but as I felt the meaning in the impression, those were the words that seemed most appropriate to dress the meaning in. As I did so, the Holy Ghost confirmed that the feeling was correct.
Two additional questions were answered for me that helped me to feel better about the moments of clarity I had felt before. When I felt surrounded by fog and despair, it was easy to question those moments of clarity and doubt that my prayers had really been answered. Some of the questions were difficult to ask, because I believed I would get an answer I didn’t want. I did, but I had to know. I needed to feel like I could progress again. There are a lot of things I have wanted in my life, but above all, when I have tried to make the right choice, things have always worked out for the best. Though I didn’t receive all the answers I wanted, and some of the answers were not what I had hoped for, my faith was enlarged by the fact that I needed someone to talk to, and Father heard.
There is a verse of scripture that is very familiar to me, and definitely a foundation for my faith. The apostle James taught, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.” (James 1:5-6)
In order to overcome my own tempest-tossed emotions, I had to stabilize my faith first, and put my trust in God. For me, that meant that I had to be willing to do whatever He wants me to do. If I can be completely honest with myself in that regard, then He can be honest with me.
Not all answers to prayer come instantaneously. Mine came after months of prayer, work, and pondering. Some take more time than others, and usually this has more to do with my own understanding. When I don’t get answers to the questions I ask in prayer, I try to examine why. If God reveals things to us line upon line, am I asking for an answer that requires me to skip several lines? Is there is a simpler question that is more pertinent to my current circumstance? If I can’t have the answer to why, then maybe I can at least get an answer to what I should do right now. Asking, “What would Thou have me do?” can help me sift through what I want in order to discover what God wants for me at that moment.
God’s purpose in testing us is to help us. So often it seems that needed help comes when I am about to give up but choose to hold on a little longer and rely on my faith. That’s when I receive my witness.
By the end of that day, other events occurred that were an answer to my morning prayer, as well as months of prayer. My trial had come to an end, or at least that part of my lesson was complete. I am sure I am only being prepared for the next test whenever it may be. But this much I know, each of us is given trials to test our faith. If it is my faith that is being tested, then it is my faith that I should apply as quickly as possible. Any delay that I exhibit may prolong my trial. But when I turn my heart to Father, I know that He hears and answers prayers.
Most importantly, I have again learned one of the many ways that Father will answer prayers. If we have the faith to study out a question and come to the best answer possible, He will send the Comforter to let us know if the path we are on is correct. Though we may each feel the Holy Spirit in a different way, the pattern is promised. We need not endure our own Gethsemane to be assured that God lives and that He hears and answers prayers. When we need someone to talk to, He is always listening.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, September 12, 2010
What Are You Feeling?
This morning one of my favorite songs replayed in the background of my mind as I woke up and I was intrigued by a single line from the lyrics. The song written by Jack Murphy & Frank Wildhorn is called “Little Things,” and it got me thinking about sincerity. “It’s the honest way you ask how I’m feeling,” is a line in the song that suggests that some questions may be less ingenuous. It also suggests that our intent can be audible and recognizable in the way we say something. It’s not just what we say, but what we mean when we say it.
Despite my efforts to be considerate this morning, my “getting ready” routine disturbed my wife’s sleep and I woke her up. Before I kissed her goodbye I asked how she was feeling. I like to think that my concern for her was sincere. I hoped that she felt what I was feeling, which is a deep, deep love for her. Had I been less sincere, I could have asked the question with little intent to do anything. Since perfection is a quality I haven’t managed to wrangle yet, I hope the times I do so are at least few and far between.
I can think of a couple occasions this past week where I asked this same question of two other friends. The circumstances were quite different, but my sincerity was no less than when I spoke to my wife. I care deeply. My question of regard was offered with the hope that it would be received like it was in the song. More than a gesture of courtesy, it was offered as an act of friendship with real intent.
In most conversations that I have, the question, “How are you feeling?” seems to be more common than, “What are you feeling?” I wonder, culturally, if this is because feelings tend to be a little more private. The first question is a simple closed-ended question that is great for small talk. It can easily be answered with a reply of, “good,” or, “not so well,” end of story. The second question, however, may be a little more difficult.
Asking someone, “What are you feeling?” would imply that the person being asked is actually feeling something at the moment. The question would also presume that he or she would know exactly what they were feeling, which is often hard to do. Words seem to make more sense than emotions when we try to describe them, don’t you think? Perhaps the difficult part of this question is the position it puts the person in who is being asked. For instance, if someone asked you that question – a question which happens to be more open-ended – you are forced to make a decision. Do I want to share what I am feeling, or should I say, “it it’s none of your business?” Suddenly the person being asked is put on the spot to make a judgment call of what is too personal and what is not. When feelings and emotions are hard enough to decipher inside your head, having to account for it on the outside can be even more troubling. Agreed? Then, let’s take a closer look at the first question.
Most of the time when I ask, “How are you feeling?” my intent is to know, “Are you well,” or “Are you feeling better?” The question seems most appropriate when the outward appearance is less than obvious, or when the person I am talking to is obviously not feeling as well as he or she could. There are outward indicators that things could be better, if only by a little. Even in these instances, my concern for a friend is generally about their physical feelings, or their emotional feelings. I think, in all reality, there should be a greater concern for spiritual feelings.
Here’s another potentially awkward moment. What if the question, “How are you feeling?” was not intended to be lightly conversational. Another for-instance, what if the person doing the asking meant, “How is your ability to feel?” “Are you capable of feeling spiritual things?” “Do you know how to recognize the promptings of the Holy Ghost when they come?” “Do you… .” Anyway, you get the idea. Suddenly small talk turns in to an interrogation, and the second question by comparison doesn’t look so bad. Talk about awkward. Is it too late to switch questions? If someone asks, “What are you feeling,” I can at least answer, “I’m not sure,” and be completely honest.
The reality of the matter is that most people who believe in inspiration from the Holy Ghost are often unclear about what the inspiration means. Yes, I receive inspiration through my thoughts and feelings, but I don’t always know for sure if it is inspiration or not. I’m not always certain about the meaning or if I am reading my own biases into it. Sometimes it is as though I feel something that might actually mean something, but I’m not sure. Now I’ve gone from feeling awkward to frustrated. What is worse is when I have to make a decision that feels time-sensitive, meaning, I don’t have time to sit and wait around for a sign from heaven. That’s probably a good thing because those signs seldom come.
Choosing to ask myself these same questions in the privacy of my own mind may not be the most comfortable pastime, but it is better than experiencing feelings of doubt when I am in the middle of a crisis and I am in need of heavenly help. I would rather answer questions when I have a comfortable amount of time to do so. Then I can feel better about how I am feeling and what I am feeling. I believe that each of us experience moments of clarity and moments of ambiguity. Separating what we know from what we don’t know can provide a good start.
Moments of clarity for me include those times when I either feel the presence or absence of the Holy Spirit strongly, and I know why. While I am not perfect, there are times that I feel the witness of the Holy Ghost that I am at least worthy, that my efforts to do what God wants have been accepted. I haven’t arrived yet, but I am moving in the right direction. I feel at peace as I feel the presence and influence of the Comforter. That is a wonderful feeling to experience on occasion.
There are other times when I know I feel the spirit, but I don’t feel the peaceful confirmation that I am doing the right thing. Instead I am being reprimanded or chastised. I don’t have to commit a serious sin, I just have to do something that is wrong and the Holy Ghost will warn me of the error I have just made. His influence may not leave, but I have the warning that it will if I don’t correct my mistake and turn my heart to God. Very often, this subtle feeling is no more than a hunch. It’s as though the good feeling I had is diminished but with the option to have it back should I make the right choice. If I am not sincere, and do not have real intent, it will be very apparent to God how I am feeling about His promptings. If I persist in thinking that my way is better and I don’t give heed to the prompting, I start to diminish in my ability to feel spiritual things. This either leads to a moment of ambiguity or the last moment of clarity.
This last moment of clarity I have experienced comes when I have deliberately made the wrong choice. I knew it and I did what I wanted anyway. In those moments, I have felt the influence of the spirit leave and I am left alone because I was prideful or rebellious. In those moments, I knew it, and it was clear. Those are very uncomfortable moments, but they are still a gift when they help me to change.
Separating what you know from what you don’t know before you get to a crisis, not only helps organize your understanding, it can also provide some patterns that may help sort out the times that are less clear. The similarities between these moments of clarity and ambiguity may give enough reason to have a little more faith when we don’t know for sure.
I believe a very common moment of ambiguity is when a person receives inspiration and doesn’t realize it. If the gift of the Holy Ghost is intended to be a constant influence and companion, I do not doubt that someone who is living a Christ-like life is constantly benefiting from inspiration. Just because I don’t recognize it doesn’t mean that I am not receiving it. I would like to be better at recognizing those subtle promptings for what they are so I can include my gratitude for them in my prayers of thanks. I find the more I look the more I find. Watching helps, but I am often uncertain.
Another moment of ambiguity is very similar, when I think I have received some sort of inspiration but I am not positive what the feeling means. I have a hunch that I am supposed to do something, but I am not exactly sure what, and I’m not exactly sure why. It is just a simple hunch accompanied by somewhat familiar feeling.
The moment of ambiguity that I am most familiar with is when I am seeking inspiration and I don’t feel like I am getting what I need. I hope for guidance and all I feel is uncertainty. In those moments, it is as though I am surrounded by a fog. I wrestle in prayer and I don’t feel like I get any closer to an answer. I am left to my own strength for a time, wondering if my fog is a consequence of my own behavior. I think this is the most difficult ambiguity because it is the one where I feel the most alone – I feel as though I am going through a trial by myself. To some degree this is true.
In this last case, it helps to remember that God has promised not to leave those who are faithful. Rather, He has promised to prepare the way before us, to support us in our trials, and bear us up in our afflictions. Just because we can’t see it doesn’t mean that He is not doing it. This requires a greater demonstration of faith on our part. I believe it is in this moment of ambiguity where we experience the greatest potential for personal growth. This is where many of my personal tests can be found. Anticipating this will help prepare our minds and our hearts to be tested.
When I feel that the influence of the Holy Spirit has left me alone, the first thing I do is a safety check. It’s like putting on your seat belt as soon as you get into a car. It becomes a habit. If I feel the absence of that peaceful comforting feeling, the first thing I do is ask myself, “Have I done something that would cause the spirit to withdraw?” Remember, to keep the spirit with us always requires a willingness to remember the teachings of Jesus and to follow Him. We don’t have to be perfect, we just have to be willing and worthy. This says more about where our hearts are pointed than where they are at. If I don’t feel that I have been deliberately rebellious, I move to the next step in my safety check.
At times when I feel alone because I do not feel the spirit close to me, the next condition I check is to see if I feel discouraged. There is a big difference between feeling down and discouraged and feeling guilty because we know we have done something wrong. If I have done something wrong, the spirit will usually help me to see the problem. Occasionally I will feel down and discouraged, not because the Lord feels I have done something wrong, but because I haven’t achieved the expectations I have set for myself. It is not uncommon to be harder on yourself than others would. We simply can’t do everything all at once, and it isn’t required. King Benjamin taught, “it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength.” (Mosiah 4:27)
I have learned that the Holy Ghost is consistent. When I feel the spirit, I always feel uplifted and edified. Even when I have done something wrong, and I am chastened by the Holy Spirit, His influence will guide me to see a way out. He always directs me upward. The Lord told Joseph Smith, “And now, verily, verily, I say unto thee, put your trust in that Spirit which leadeth to do good—yea, to do justly, to walk humbly, to judge righteously; and this is my Spirit. Verily, verily, I say unto you, I will impart unto you of my Spirit, which shall enlighten your mind, which shall fill your soul with joy; And then shall ye know, or by this shall you know, all things whatsoever you desire of me, which are pertaining unto things of righteousness, in faith believing in me that you shall receive.” (Doctrine & Covenants 11:12-14)
If I have passed the rebellious check, and I am not feeling guilty because I have been chastened by the spirit, I proceed to the next safety check: How is my faith? It is my experience that the spirit will leave if we have done something to offend God, or if we have ignored his subtle promptings. There may be times that we don’t feel the spirit as strongly because our desires, appetites, and passions are screaming louder and we give deference to them. But if I am trying to do what is right, and I still don’t feel the spirit, I find that my ambiguity is about to get clearer. The key comes down to a couple of simple keys that were illustrated in the song I woke up to. It’s in the honest way I ask myself how I am feeling. Am I being sincere when I say that I am trying to do what is right? Do I have real intent to follow God? Is there anything I have overlooked that is blocking my faith? When I am truly honest with God, He is more open with me.
Most of the time when I feel ambiguous about where I stand with God, or I wonder why I haven’t felt his Holy Spirit as well as at other times, it is because I am in the middle of a test, and I am about to finish. It is often at the moment when I feel I can’t go any longer or any further that a change begins to happen. It is in the moment when I am willing to submit my will to God and do whatever He wants that my tests usually resolve and I gain understanding. Moroni taught, “for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.” (Ether 12:6)
Moroni also taught, “I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.” (Moroni 10:4-5)
Our intent is very recognizable to God in the way we offer our prayers. It’s not just what we say, but what we mean when we say it. He knows what we need before we even ask. He also knows what will help us the most. Even when we feel we have learned what we need to in a trial, God knows best. He has prepared lessons that are specifically tailored to save His children. Just because we don’t understand doesn’t mean we should doubt. As we put our faith in Him, he will not fail us, but will stay with us until we make it home.
So what is it I am feeling? That is really up to me to determine for myself. However the pattern that God has given us is that the Holy Spirit will guide us when we are faithful. If we are consistent in following Him, He will provide moments of clarity amidst the moments of ambiguity. It may not be enough to know for a certainty all the things we want to know, but it will be enough to help us to have faith in Him. Once we do that, and once we learn how to recognize the influence of His Holy Spirit when it is present, then we can feel much better about any trial we are asked to pass through.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Despite my efforts to be considerate this morning, my “getting ready” routine disturbed my wife’s sleep and I woke her up. Before I kissed her goodbye I asked how she was feeling. I like to think that my concern for her was sincere. I hoped that she felt what I was feeling, which is a deep, deep love for her. Had I been less sincere, I could have asked the question with little intent to do anything. Since perfection is a quality I haven’t managed to wrangle yet, I hope the times I do so are at least few and far between.
I can think of a couple occasions this past week where I asked this same question of two other friends. The circumstances were quite different, but my sincerity was no less than when I spoke to my wife. I care deeply. My question of regard was offered with the hope that it would be received like it was in the song. More than a gesture of courtesy, it was offered as an act of friendship with real intent.
In most conversations that I have, the question, “How are you feeling?” seems to be more common than, “What are you feeling?” I wonder, culturally, if this is because feelings tend to be a little more private. The first question is a simple closed-ended question that is great for small talk. It can easily be answered with a reply of, “good,” or, “not so well,” end of story. The second question, however, may be a little more difficult.
Asking someone, “What are you feeling?” would imply that the person being asked is actually feeling something at the moment. The question would also presume that he or she would know exactly what they were feeling, which is often hard to do. Words seem to make more sense than emotions when we try to describe them, don’t you think? Perhaps the difficult part of this question is the position it puts the person in who is being asked. For instance, if someone asked you that question – a question which happens to be more open-ended – you are forced to make a decision. Do I want to share what I am feeling, or should I say, “it it’s none of your business?” Suddenly the person being asked is put on the spot to make a judgment call of what is too personal and what is not. When feelings and emotions are hard enough to decipher inside your head, having to account for it on the outside can be even more troubling. Agreed? Then, let’s take a closer look at the first question.
Most of the time when I ask, “How are you feeling?” my intent is to know, “Are you well,” or “Are you feeling better?” The question seems most appropriate when the outward appearance is less than obvious, or when the person I am talking to is obviously not feeling as well as he or she could. There are outward indicators that things could be better, if only by a little. Even in these instances, my concern for a friend is generally about their physical feelings, or their emotional feelings. I think, in all reality, there should be a greater concern for spiritual feelings.
Here’s another potentially awkward moment. What if the question, “How are you feeling?” was not intended to be lightly conversational. Another for-instance, what if the person doing the asking meant, “How is your ability to feel?” “Are you capable of feeling spiritual things?” “Do you know how to recognize the promptings of the Holy Ghost when they come?” “Do you… .” Anyway, you get the idea. Suddenly small talk turns in to an interrogation, and the second question by comparison doesn’t look so bad. Talk about awkward. Is it too late to switch questions? If someone asks, “What are you feeling,” I can at least answer, “I’m not sure,” and be completely honest.
The reality of the matter is that most people who believe in inspiration from the Holy Ghost are often unclear about what the inspiration means. Yes, I receive inspiration through my thoughts and feelings, but I don’t always know for sure if it is inspiration or not. I’m not always certain about the meaning or if I am reading my own biases into it. Sometimes it is as though I feel something that might actually mean something, but I’m not sure. Now I’ve gone from feeling awkward to frustrated. What is worse is when I have to make a decision that feels time-sensitive, meaning, I don’t have time to sit and wait around for a sign from heaven. That’s probably a good thing because those signs seldom come.
Choosing to ask myself these same questions in the privacy of my own mind may not be the most comfortable pastime, but it is better than experiencing feelings of doubt when I am in the middle of a crisis and I am in need of heavenly help. I would rather answer questions when I have a comfortable amount of time to do so. Then I can feel better about how I am feeling and what I am feeling. I believe that each of us experience moments of clarity and moments of ambiguity. Separating what we know from what we don’t know can provide a good start.
Moments of clarity for me include those times when I either feel the presence or absence of the Holy Spirit strongly, and I know why. While I am not perfect, there are times that I feel the witness of the Holy Ghost that I am at least worthy, that my efforts to do what God wants have been accepted. I haven’t arrived yet, but I am moving in the right direction. I feel at peace as I feel the presence and influence of the Comforter. That is a wonderful feeling to experience on occasion.
There are other times when I know I feel the spirit, but I don’t feel the peaceful confirmation that I am doing the right thing. Instead I am being reprimanded or chastised. I don’t have to commit a serious sin, I just have to do something that is wrong and the Holy Ghost will warn me of the error I have just made. His influence may not leave, but I have the warning that it will if I don’t correct my mistake and turn my heart to God. Very often, this subtle feeling is no more than a hunch. It’s as though the good feeling I had is diminished but with the option to have it back should I make the right choice. If I am not sincere, and do not have real intent, it will be very apparent to God how I am feeling about His promptings. If I persist in thinking that my way is better and I don’t give heed to the prompting, I start to diminish in my ability to feel spiritual things. This either leads to a moment of ambiguity or the last moment of clarity.
This last moment of clarity I have experienced comes when I have deliberately made the wrong choice. I knew it and I did what I wanted anyway. In those moments, I have felt the influence of the spirit leave and I am left alone because I was prideful or rebellious. In those moments, I knew it, and it was clear. Those are very uncomfortable moments, but they are still a gift when they help me to change.
Separating what you know from what you don’t know before you get to a crisis, not only helps organize your understanding, it can also provide some patterns that may help sort out the times that are less clear. The similarities between these moments of clarity and ambiguity may give enough reason to have a little more faith when we don’t know for sure.
I believe a very common moment of ambiguity is when a person receives inspiration and doesn’t realize it. If the gift of the Holy Ghost is intended to be a constant influence and companion, I do not doubt that someone who is living a Christ-like life is constantly benefiting from inspiration. Just because I don’t recognize it doesn’t mean that I am not receiving it. I would like to be better at recognizing those subtle promptings for what they are so I can include my gratitude for them in my prayers of thanks. I find the more I look the more I find. Watching helps, but I am often uncertain.
Another moment of ambiguity is very similar, when I think I have received some sort of inspiration but I am not positive what the feeling means. I have a hunch that I am supposed to do something, but I am not exactly sure what, and I’m not exactly sure why. It is just a simple hunch accompanied by somewhat familiar feeling.
The moment of ambiguity that I am most familiar with is when I am seeking inspiration and I don’t feel like I am getting what I need. I hope for guidance and all I feel is uncertainty. In those moments, it is as though I am surrounded by a fog. I wrestle in prayer and I don’t feel like I get any closer to an answer. I am left to my own strength for a time, wondering if my fog is a consequence of my own behavior. I think this is the most difficult ambiguity because it is the one where I feel the most alone – I feel as though I am going through a trial by myself. To some degree this is true.
In this last case, it helps to remember that God has promised not to leave those who are faithful. Rather, He has promised to prepare the way before us, to support us in our trials, and bear us up in our afflictions. Just because we can’t see it doesn’t mean that He is not doing it. This requires a greater demonstration of faith on our part. I believe it is in this moment of ambiguity where we experience the greatest potential for personal growth. This is where many of my personal tests can be found. Anticipating this will help prepare our minds and our hearts to be tested.
When I feel that the influence of the Holy Spirit has left me alone, the first thing I do is a safety check. It’s like putting on your seat belt as soon as you get into a car. It becomes a habit. If I feel the absence of that peaceful comforting feeling, the first thing I do is ask myself, “Have I done something that would cause the spirit to withdraw?” Remember, to keep the spirit with us always requires a willingness to remember the teachings of Jesus and to follow Him. We don’t have to be perfect, we just have to be willing and worthy. This says more about where our hearts are pointed than where they are at. If I don’t feel that I have been deliberately rebellious, I move to the next step in my safety check.
At times when I feel alone because I do not feel the spirit close to me, the next condition I check is to see if I feel discouraged. There is a big difference between feeling down and discouraged and feeling guilty because we know we have done something wrong. If I have done something wrong, the spirit will usually help me to see the problem. Occasionally I will feel down and discouraged, not because the Lord feels I have done something wrong, but because I haven’t achieved the expectations I have set for myself. It is not uncommon to be harder on yourself than others would. We simply can’t do everything all at once, and it isn’t required. King Benjamin taught, “it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength.” (Mosiah 4:27)
I have learned that the Holy Ghost is consistent. When I feel the spirit, I always feel uplifted and edified. Even when I have done something wrong, and I am chastened by the Holy Spirit, His influence will guide me to see a way out. He always directs me upward. The Lord told Joseph Smith, “And now, verily, verily, I say unto thee, put your trust in that Spirit which leadeth to do good—yea, to do justly, to walk humbly, to judge righteously; and this is my Spirit. Verily, verily, I say unto you, I will impart unto you of my Spirit, which shall enlighten your mind, which shall fill your soul with joy; And then shall ye know, or by this shall you know, all things whatsoever you desire of me, which are pertaining unto things of righteousness, in faith believing in me that you shall receive.” (Doctrine & Covenants 11:12-14)
If I have passed the rebellious check, and I am not feeling guilty because I have been chastened by the spirit, I proceed to the next safety check: How is my faith? It is my experience that the spirit will leave if we have done something to offend God, or if we have ignored his subtle promptings. There may be times that we don’t feel the spirit as strongly because our desires, appetites, and passions are screaming louder and we give deference to them. But if I am trying to do what is right, and I still don’t feel the spirit, I find that my ambiguity is about to get clearer. The key comes down to a couple of simple keys that were illustrated in the song I woke up to. It’s in the honest way I ask myself how I am feeling. Am I being sincere when I say that I am trying to do what is right? Do I have real intent to follow God? Is there anything I have overlooked that is blocking my faith? When I am truly honest with God, He is more open with me.
Most of the time when I feel ambiguous about where I stand with God, or I wonder why I haven’t felt his Holy Spirit as well as at other times, it is because I am in the middle of a test, and I am about to finish. It is often at the moment when I feel I can’t go any longer or any further that a change begins to happen. It is in the moment when I am willing to submit my will to God and do whatever He wants that my tests usually resolve and I gain understanding. Moroni taught, “for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.” (Ether 12:6)
Moroni also taught, “I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.” (Moroni 10:4-5)
Our intent is very recognizable to God in the way we offer our prayers. It’s not just what we say, but what we mean when we say it. He knows what we need before we even ask. He also knows what will help us the most. Even when we feel we have learned what we need to in a trial, God knows best. He has prepared lessons that are specifically tailored to save His children. Just because we don’t understand doesn’t mean we should doubt. As we put our faith in Him, he will not fail us, but will stay with us until we make it home.
So what is it I am feeling? That is really up to me to determine for myself. However the pattern that God has given us is that the Holy Spirit will guide us when we are faithful. If we are consistent in following Him, He will provide moments of clarity amidst the moments of ambiguity. It may not be enough to know for a certainty all the things we want to know, but it will be enough to help us to have faith in Him. Once we do that, and once we learn how to recognize the influence of His Holy Spirit when it is present, then we can feel much better about any trial we are asked to pass through.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Trials Felt
How appears the apparition, that seemingly passes by,
To others who look and cannot see the reasons why I cry?
Its verity feels like bedrock, a forever burden borne,
With weight’s encumbrance given to bear alone and lorn.
In the middle of my own, I see another’s fear,
But not the force that’s hidden, causing him to veer.
I watch as burden buries heart, not knowing how long he’ll wait,
Or just how much the toll exacts to pass through sorrow’s gate.
Often worse are trials which, for others, go unseen,
For few will pause to help and answer what they mean.
I wish to see differently when the trial is not my own.
Perhaps I, too, can share his burden so he is not alone.
If I look past apparent, and the apparition that is bleak,
I hope to find more knowledge and gain the peace I seek.
Whether trial by fire or endless dark, it’s time I wait upon,
To learn the lessons that I need, and then my trials are gone.
Trials give us focus, when there’s nothing else to see,
Until we look right through them to what we’re meant to be.
To others who look and cannot see the reasons why I cry?
Its verity feels like bedrock, a forever burden borne,
With weight’s encumbrance given to bear alone and lorn.
In the middle of my own, I see another’s fear,
But not the force that’s hidden, causing him to veer.
I watch as burden buries heart, not knowing how long he’ll wait,
Or just how much the toll exacts to pass through sorrow’s gate.
Often worse are trials which, for others, go unseen,
For few will pause to help and answer what they mean.
I wish to see differently when the trial is not my own.
Perhaps I, too, can share his burden so he is not alone.
If I look past apparent, and the apparition that is bleak,
I hope to find more knowledge and gain the peace I seek.
Whether trial by fire or endless dark, it’s time I wait upon,
To learn the lessons that I need, and then my trials are gone.
Trials give us focus, when there’s nothing else to see,
Until we look right through them to what we’re meant to be.
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