Mormon’s admonition to pray for charity with all energy of heart has been on my mind a lot lately. He understood a principle I feel I am just beginning to understand. While there are many good things we can do in life, there is only one way to return to our Father’s presence, and that is through His Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ. As we live the way He lived, as we choose to do what He did, we become like Him. We become pure.
The gift of charity, or the pure love of Christ, is described as the greatest of all the gifts of God. It is the gift that will lead us to eternal life. While this gift cannot be purchased with money or be received by giving our excess to a charitable organization, the gift comes with a heavy price. The amount is the cost of a single heart offered to the Lord – mine.
The prophet Mormon described this cost to his people. “And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.” (Moroni 7:45)
In the scriptures the word, “suffer,” has two meanings that are related but different. One meaning is to endure pain, distress, loss, separation, or even death. King Benjamin described the suffering that Jesus would endure for our sakes in similar terms. “And lo, he shall suffer temptations, and pain of body, hunger, thirst, and fatigue, even more than man can suffer, except it be unto death; for behold, blood cometh from every pore, so great shall be his anguish for the wickedness and the abominations of his people.” (Mosiah 3:7)
This type of suffering describes all experiences that are difficult and unpleasant. It is usually associated with pain that is either physical, or emotional. Some pain that we feel may only be temporary and fleeting. Pain can also be severe enough that it causes damage and leaves a mark. I find great comfort knowing the atoning sacrifice Jesus made for all mankind will take away our pain and heal our marks. He has made it possible to find hope.
The second meaning of the word, “suffer,” can be found in the New Testament. As a group of people brought their children to be blessed by Jesus, His disciples rebuked them. Jesus’ reply to His disciples was, “Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.” (Mark 10:14) The account of this story does not describe the experience of having young children come to Him as difficult or unpleasant. In fact, it was something that Jesus wanted. In this context the word, “suffer,” means to allow or permit.
As I consider these two meanings in relation to the cost of charity, I am left wondering how they relate. Suffering alone does not equate to love. Merely allowing unpleasant things does not guarantee us greater love, either. However, if I take both meanings and I add them to a common purpose, I get a different result. If I am willing to endure difficult trials and allow Father to direct my life because I trust Him, it may not be pleasant, but in the larger picture I can count on Him to make my life better. When I do hard things out of love, my love increases and my capacity to love increases.
Suffering can often teach us lessons we wouldn’t learn any other way. Paul in his letter to the Hebrews describes the prophet Melchizedek who offered “strong crying and tears” with his prayers that God would save him from death. Little more is known about his experience except that he learned “obedience by the things which he suffered.” (Hebrews 5:6-8) Melchizedek was a man of great faith, but that too came with a cost.
At the beginning of His ministry, Jesus went into the wilderness to pray. “And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights and had communed with God, he was afterward an hungered and was left to be tempted of the devil.” (JST Matthew 4:2) I find it interesting that Jesus was doing something good and was rewarded with a trial. That is how it may look from the first appearance, anyway. Instead, consider that Jesus went into the wilderness to submit to the Father. He wasn’t looking for a reward. He was there to worship. Because His vision was clear in spite of His lack of strength, He was true to the Father and chose not to worship the deceiver.
Sometimes, the only way we learn the lessons Father wants us to is through difficult experiences. Joseph Smith taught that Jesus “suffered temptations but gave no heed unto them.” (Doctrine & Covenants 20:22) He lived a perfect life, but He still suffered and learned grace to grace.
King Benjamin also prophesied of the suffering that Jesus would endure. He said that Jesus would subject Himself to the Father, and that He “suffereth temptation, and yieldeth not to the temptation, but suffereth himself to be mocked, and scourged, and cast out, and disowned by his people. … Yea, even so he shall be led, crucified, and slain, the flesh becoming subject even unto death, the will of the Son being swallowed up in the will of the Father. (Mosiah 15:5-8) This passage includes both definitions of the word “suffer.” Jesus suffered, and He allowed Himself to suffer, that He might gain victory over sin and death.
At a time in his life when it appeared that he could suffer no more, Joseph Smith prayed to the Father for himself and for his people, “O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place? How long shall thy hand be stayed…? let thine heart be softened, and thy bowels moved with compassion toward us.” (Doctrine & Covenants 121:1-2, 4)
The Lord’s reply was merciful. “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes. Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands. Thou art not yet as Job….” (Doctrine & Covenants 121:7-10) The Lord continues, “If thou art called to pass through tribulation;” and he lists a number of examples of suffering, “if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he? Therefore, hold on thy way… for God shall be with you forever and ever. (Doctrine & Covenants 122:5, 7-9)
Poor Joseph. In his darkest moment, he had not yet endured as Job. He had not suffered like the Lord of all. But he did have a reason to hope. God did not abandon Job, but blessed him with increase. The Lord “gave Job twice as much as he had before,” and “blessed the latter end of [his life] more than his beginning.” (Job 42:10, 12) God did not abandon His Only Begotten Son, either. After Jesus knelt in the Garden of Gethsemane, he prayed, “Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.” I love this example because Jesus prayed out of the honesty of His heart. He told Father what he wanted, but then clarified that He would submit to the Father’s will. He suffered. Then, “there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him. And being in agony he prayed more earnestly: and he sweat as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” (Luke 22:42-44, JST Luke 22:44)
The Lord told Joseph Smith, “I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I; Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit – and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink – Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men.” (Doctrine & Covenants 19:16-19)
Knowing that someone else knows what you are going through can be a great comfort. Knowing that Jesus has done something for us so that we wouldn’t have to is a tremendous gift! Knowing that even He had a hard time and didn’t want to do it makes His experience that much more personal to me. Believing that God does not lie and He does not change gives me hope that He will help me and save me in my desperation, too. Faith will get me started in the right direction, and hope will provide motivation when things get difficult. But, it is charity, the pure love of God, that will see me through to the end when my trials seem unbearable.
As I compare the many tears I shed in my own suffering with the blood that was shed in my behalf by the Savior, I am tempted to feel small and ashamed that I am so weak and vulnerable. The thing that saves me from greater self-pity and despair is that Jesus does not ask me to do what He did. I don’t have to suffer the way He did. I just need to live the way He wants me to, and that will be enough. I am not as strong as He is, but together we can do anything. I am not perfect like He is, but I am trying. I am not required to be perfect in my weakness. If I want to be like Jesus, I am required to turn to Him in faith when I am having a hard time. As I turn to him, then I can suffer the difficult lessons. I can allow Father to take the time He needs to make me better. I find I can do more and more through practice and prayer, as long as I have hope.
In the midst of that dark moment for Joseph Smith, the Lord gave him some instruction that was also meant to give him hope. And here we come back to the idea that I started with – charity. “Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distill upon thy soul as the dews from heaven. The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever.” (Doctrine & Covenants 121:45-46) This strength all starts with charity, which never faileth.
Whether it is charity that helps me in suffering, or that I gain more charity through the right kind of suffering, I don’t know for sure. But if I am willing to endure, and allow difficult lessons to shape who I am because I am seeking charity, at least I know that I am moving in the right direction. Little by little, and grace for grace, my heart becomes purer and I become a little more ready to meet my Savior. Each time that my suffering increases, I turn to Father in prayer. And, like Joseph, Melchizedek, and the Savior, Father will hear and answer our prayers. He will send angels to comfort us and buoy us up. I know Father will bless us with that which we seek if we pray for charity with all the energy of heart.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Maybe I’m Still a Toddler
This morning I sat a little more incognito in a church congregation other than my own. The setting was Washington D.C. The sermon was taught by a toddler. In fact he sat in the pew right in front of me. It’s not that the other speakers weren’t uplifting; I just discovered I could learn a lot from a two-year old.
The beautiful young mother who claimed the boy was doing a marvelous job of keeping his sermon under control. She was patient. Knowing the capability of her boy, it may have been that she didn’t want to take the spotlight away from the other sacrament meeting speakers. In any event, I couldn’t help but notice the dialogue between the two after the boy started with an object lesson. He leaned forward, cocked the trigger, and released his body movement backward where he hit his head on the top edge of the pew.
“Don’t bump your head on the bench,” she whispered calmly, “It will hurt.”
“No,” was his reply.
“Yes,” was hers.
“No.”
“Yes. It will.” Her voice remained loving and patient.
“No.” I could tell that he wasn’t trying to be defiant; it just came natural without any thought. He liked the “power word” he had discovered not long ago.
“See this wood right here?” his mother said, pointing to the back of the bench.
The boy looked at the bench, and having done what she said, replied, “No.” Then he repeated the backward movement again and hit his head on the bench. It is possible that it really didn’t hurt, and that is why he said no. I have a suspicion, however, that he was having more fun refuting his mother than he was trying to hit his head.
Sometimes I hit my head on the bench repeatedly, convinced it wont hurt that much. Even if it doesn’t – even if pain is not the issue – Father has prepared specific lessons for me, and if I miss what He is trying to teach me, I just keep banging my head on the wall. It’s more frustrating when, after the fact, I realize what I have been doing, especially if I have refused to look behind me at the pew.
Next it was time for the sacrament, but the boy didn’t pause his sermon at all. He proceeded to hold up his toy, and said, “Helihopter.” He then made raspberry sounds with his tongue trying to simulate the sound of a propeller on a helicopter. Looking at his mother, he asked, “Sacament?” The mother nodded her head. His retort was swift as though he had been preparing his talk for months. “I’na go home!” Perhaps he was convinced that she didn’t understand, or maybe he understood that good preachers will sometimes repeat an idea for effect as he himself continued to repeat, “I’na go home,” over and over, using every possible intonation variation he could think of. I think he was more interested in experimenting to see how many different ways he could say the same thing than he was in trying to get his point across. Eventually he was distracted by the bread and water being passed, at least temporarily.
The boy figured out a new way to make noise when the mother informed him, “don’t do that or you’ll have to go out.” It was amazing to see the thought process parade across his face in a matter of seconds before he looked at her and said, “I’na go out.” Remember, two-year-olds understand emphasis more than we give them credit when they can slow down the pronunciation of a key word by two to three times. The word, “out,” was said in just such a way, with his slightly-whining-tone dropping as he lengthened the word.
I couldn’t help but chuckle, mostly because I could relate. There are a lot of things I “wanna” do sometimes, but I can’t – at least not at the moment. Sometimes I whine, too. It isn’t hard to think, “I would rather be anyplace than here,” when things aren’t going the way I want them to. If I could take an easier way out of a difficult situation, I just might. Most of the time, it isn’t even offered to me.
Whether it is my home on earth, or my home in heaven, I know what it feels like to want to go home, too. That may be my most important goal, but I can often be distracted by what I want. If I am distracted too much, I may want to give up and get out. Seldom does that really get me where I need to go. It is simply another distraction that seems to offer relief.
Once the boy found a quiet activity book with familiar colors and shapes, he left his sermon for a time. I don’t think this had the same effect on me as an intermediate rest hymn (which gives us rest from what, I don’t know), but it too came to an end, as did his attention for the book. Next came another object lesson.
The boy walked over to his little baby sister and apparently wanted to hit her, so he did. This, like everything else in his lesson, came in a pattern that he repeated over and over. Whap, whap, whap. Again, similar to his other messages, I don’t think he was as concerned about hurting his sister as he was in wanting to hit her. Why is it that we have a natural tendency to hurt those we love most, usually without meaning to? His mother saw what was happening and placed her hand in front of her daughter, offering her hand as an alternative target. The boy caught on to the game quick and diverted his fire and brimstone toward a more eager participant.
In this case, the boy’s intent wasn’t wrong; it just needed to be redirected. He was chastened and he hardly noticed. More and more I try to look at what I am doing and ask, “What effect is this having on those around me? Am I hurting them without meaning to? How can I redirect my intent to avoid causing pain?” I really take no pleasure in hurting others, especially those I love most. In order to avoid doing this, I have to look through their eyes, which is not always an easy thing.
As the boy’s sermon drew to a close, he gave one more glance at his mother, paused until she was looking directly at him, and then he repeated his head-banging-on-bench statement to sum up his topic. Was he right? Maybe. Was his mother right? Yes. Did the two see eye to eye by the end of the sermon? No, I don’t think so. That may take a few years, or fifty.
The boy obviously hasn’t been introduced to the concept of a dénouement, or he would have recognized that he had the perfect conclusion to his message. Instead, he sat there smiling for a moment (as if to say, “wait for it…”), then suddenly he ruptured into tears. Kablowey! Instant meltdown. The fact of the matter was that HE WAS HUNGRY, and he just barely noticed. Sadly for him, he didn’t have anything to eat. After the closing prayer, the sobbing boy exited the chapel holding his mother’s hand, still missing the lesson. Or did he?
If I find that I have a greater understanding than a toddler and still exhibit the same behavior, can I rightly say that he understands any less than I do. Sometimes I cry when I don’t get what I want. I make up reasons of why my needs are greater than a toddler. And then, when I look through his eyes, I start to understand that we are not that different.
Each time the boy delivered part of his message, I could see that his intent could be taken wrong. He did one thing, but it usually didn’t match his intent. The truth of the matter is that he was just trying to do his best, staying where he should be, right where his mother and his Father wanted him to be. That was part of the lesson intended for him.
When life gets hard, I remember that my Savior has no intention of hurting me. In fact, in His case, he paid a price that I could not pay at all, just so I wouldn’t have to. He offers His hand to me, regardless of whether I take it or divert my fire and brimstone towards Him. I hope I never do that again. His hand gives me great comfort. His intent is to save me. Fortunately for me, He communicated that clearly without confusion when He offered not only His hand, but His life. I am so grateful for the lessons He has taught me. I am grateful for His gift.
Too many times, the lessons I was meant to learn are so obvious. They have been right in front of my nose the entire time. Sometimes, they are seated on a pew rather than a pulpit.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
The beautiful young mother who claimed the boy was doing a marvelous job of keeping his sermon under control. She was patient. Knowing the capability of her boy, it may have been that she didn’t want to take the spotlight away from the other sacrament meeting speakers. In any event, I couldn’t help but notice the dialogue between the two after the boy started with an object lesson. He leaned forward, cocked the trigger, and released his body movement backward where he hit his head on the top edge of the pew.
“Don’t bump your head on the bench,” she whispered calmly, “It will hurt.”
“No,” was his reply.
“Yes,” was hers.
“No.”
“Yes. It will.” Her voice remained loving and patient.
“No.” I could tell that he wasn’t trying to be defiant; it just came natural without any thought. He liked the “power word” he had discovered not long ago.
“See this wood right here?” his mother said, pointing to the back of the bench.
The boy looked at the bench, and having done what she said, replied, “No.” Then he repeated the backward movement again and hit his head on the bench. It is possible that it really didn’t hurt, and that is why he said no. I have a suspicion, however, that he was having more fun refuting his mother than he was trying to hit his head.
Sometimes I hit my head on the bench repeatedly, convinced it wont hurt that much. Even if it doesn’t – even if pain is not the issue – Father has prepared specific lessons for me, and if I miss what He is trying to teach me, I just keep banging my head on the wall. It’s more frustrating when, after the fact, I realize what I have been doing, especially if I have refused to look behind me at the pew.
Next it was time for the sacrament, but the boy didn’t pause his sermon at all. He proceeded to hold up his toy, and said, “Helihopter.” He then made raspberry sounds with his tongue trying to simulate the sound of a propeller on a helicopter. Looking at his mother, he asked, “Sacament?” The mother nodded her head. His retort was swift as though he had been preparing his talk for months. “I’na go home!” Perhaps he was convinced that she didn’t understand, or maybe he understood that good preachers will sometimes repeat an idea for effect as he himself continued to repeat, “I’na go home,” over and over, using every possible intonation variation he could think of. I think he was more interested in experimenting to see how many different ways he could say the same thing than he was in trying to get his point across. Eventually he was distracted by the bread and water being passed, at least temporarily.
The boy figured out a new way to make noise when the mother informed him, “don’t do that or you’ll have to go out.” It was amazing to see the thought process parade across his face in a matter of seconds before he looked at her and said, “I’na go out.” Remember, two-year-olds understand emphasis more than we give them credit when they can slow down the pronunciation of a key word by two to three times. The word, “out,” was said in just such a way, with his slightly-whining-tone dropping as he lengthened the word.
I couldn’t help but chuckle, mostly because I could relate. There are a lot of things I “wanna” do sometimes, but I can’t – at least not at the moment. Sometimes I whine, too. It isn’t hard to think, “I would rather be anyplace than here,” when things aren’t going the way I want them to. If I could take an easier way out of a difficult situation, I just might. Most of the time, it isn’t even offered to me.
Whether it is my home on earth, or my home in heaven, I know what it feels like to want to go home, too. That may be my most important goal, but I can often be distracted by what I want. If I am distracted too much, I may want to give up and get out. Seldom does that really get me where I need to go. It is simply another distraction that seems to offer relief.
Once the boy found a quiet activity book with familiar colors and shapes, he left his sermon for a time. I don’t think this had the same effect on me as an intermediate rest hymn (which gives us rest from what, I don’t know), but it too came to an end, as did his attention for the book. Next came another object lesson.
The boy walked over to his little baby sister and apparently wanted to hit her, so he did. This, like everything else in his lesson, came in a pattern that he repeated over and over. Whap, whap, whap. Again, similar to his other messages, I don’t think he was as concerned about hurting his sister as he was in wanting to hit her. Why is it that we have a natural tendency to hurt those we love most, usually without meaning to? His mother saw what was happening and placed her hand in front of her daughter, offering her hand as an alternative target. The boy caught on to the game quick and diverted his fire and brimstone toward a more eager participant.
In this case, the boy’s intent wasn’t wrong; it just needed to be redirected. He was chastened and he hardly noticed. More and more I try to look at what I am doing and ask, “What effect is this having on those around me? Am I hurting them without meaning to? How can I redirect my intent to avoid causing pain?” I really take no pleasure in hurting others, especially those I love most. In order to avoid doing this, I have to look through their eyes, which is not always an easy thing.
As the boy’s sermon drew to a close, he gave one more glance at his mother, paused until she was looking directly at him, and then he repeated his head-banging-on-bench statement to sum up his topic. Was he right? Maybe. Was his mother right? Yes. Did the two see eye to eye by the end of the sermon? No, I don’t think so. That may take a few years, or fifty.
The boy obviously hasn’t been introduced to the concept of a dénouement, or he would have recognized that he had the perfect conclusion to his message. Instead, he sat there smiling for a moment (as if to say, “wait for it…”), then suddenly he ruptured into tears. Kablowey! Instant meltdown. The fact of the matter was that HE WAS HUNGRY, and he just barely noticed. Sadly for him, he didn’t have anything to eat. After the closing prayer, the sobbing boy exited the chapel holding his mother’s hand, still missing the lesson. Or did he?
If I find that I have a greater understanding than a toddler and still exhibit the same behavior, can I rightly say that he understands any less than I do. Sometimes I cry when I don’t get what I want. I make up reasons of why my needs are greater than a toddler. And then, when I look through his eyes, I start to understand that we are not that different.
Each time the boy delivered part of his message, I could see that his intent could be taken wrong. He did one thing, but it usually didn’t match his intent. The truth of the matter is that he was just trying to do his best, staying where he should be, right where his mother and his Father wanted him to be. That was part of the lesson intended for him.
When life gets hard, I remember that my Savior has no intention of hurting me. In fact, in His case, he paid a price that I could not pay at all, just so I wouldn’t have to. He offers His hand to me, regardless of whether I take it or divert my fire and brimstone towards Him. I hope I never do that again. His hand gives me great comfort. His intent is to save me. Fortunately for me, He communicated that clearly without confusion when He offered not only His hand, but His life. I am so grateful for the lessons He has taught me. I am grateful for His gift.
Too many times, the lessons I was meant to learn are so obvious. They have been right in front of my nose the entire time. Sometimes, they are seated on a pew rather than a pulpit.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Change
While living in California for a couple of years, I missed a particular family get-together that has been repeatedly retold ever since. The story goes that my niece, a toddler at the time, was just catching on to the concept of Christmas and what it meant to be given a gift. One of the gifts that she received was unforgettable – a pair of socks. She was so excited! Because of her reaction, someone in the family decided to hand her another gift. The socks were rewrapped and presented to her again. To her delight she received “another” pair. I’m not sure exactly how long Christmas kept improving like this until she realized that she was continually reopening the same gift.
Boyd K. Packer once said, “Things that don’t change remain the same.” It’s a nice piece of common sense, don’t you think? With the scarcity of common sense sometimes, it is helpful to have the obvious pointed out so plainly. I often wonder why some circumstances in my life don’t seem to change as fast as I would like. Then I look to see if I have done anything to merit a different outcome. “Hmm. I guess not,” is my usual observation.
My wife and I have been discussing some of our observations about change this week on our early morning walks. I won’t steal too much of her thunder, but she had a great analogy for life’s lessons. We all seem to learn the same lessons, but we often learn them in a different order. Sometimes we don’t learn from them when the opportunity is given to us. Consequently, we keep opening the same present expecting a different result. I’m not sure about you, but I often find the wrapping paper looks a little different, but the bow that wraps up the gift seems to be the same each time.
Whether or not change is desirable seems to have everything to do with choices. If I have control over my choices, and the resulting change, I feel better about things. When I feel like the change is out of my control, and that it limits my choices, I feel very uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel trapped, frozen, or confined. I feel like I am being acted upon because I am not able to control my circumstances. It is interesting to note that agency is the freedom to choose within a given set of conditions. I don’t always get to choose the conditions, which leaves me with the feeling of not having control. This doesn’t mean I have lost my agency, or my ability to choose.
Liz and I recently talked with some good friends about the types of change we have felt and experienced this year. Some changes are a gradual deluge of blessings or trials. Some are more abruptly taken or given. Occasionally a change may appear to take everything you have learned and turn it upside down, as though it no longer is true, only to find out that you just had to shake out the parts that weren’t true to make room for things that are truer. Each type of change has its place in the lessons we get to unwrap. That said, it is still easier to make sense of a difficult lesson after you have gone through it and completed it than it is to get your bearings when you are right in the middle.
One beautiful example of change is the transformation of a caterpillar to a butterfly. The caterpillar has its own type of beauty, while the butterfly has an aesthetic quality that seems to be more widely recognized. Seldom, however, have I heard anyone say, “Hey, look at that! Have you ever seen such a stunning cocoon?” Yet it is inside the veil-thin walls of a cocoon that the beautiful transformation takes place. The separation is just enough for the caterpillar to become something new and amazing, no matter how confining it appears. Having experienced mild forms of claustrophobia before, I wonder what the caterpillar feels like during the process.
Another type of change is related to temperance, or the ability to endure lessened conditions. In the case of tempered steel, a piece of steel is gradually heated to a very hot temperature. At the appropriate time and condition, the steel is then plunged into cold water, which causes a reaction in the metal. The immediate change in circumstances may seem a shock to the system, but it makes the steel much, much stronger. There are times when I have had a gradual increase in blessings, only to have them taken away in an instant. Conversely, I have also had trials that increased gradually to where it seemed I could bear no more, and then there was instantaneous relief. I remember those sudden changes acutely, with both sorrow and happiness.
Whether a slow process of being confined with in a veil or cocoon, or the abrupt process of tempering, change becomes more manageable and endurable when I can count on someone to help me through the process who knows exactly what I am feeling. In many cases, the only one who understands completely is God.
C. S. Lewis compared this transformation process to God helping us with a slight remodeling job. “Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right, and stopping the leaks in the roof, and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably, and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of– throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”
It is often difficult to tell at the onset whether God is giving us a trial or a blessing. There have been many times that I have received a blessing only to discover that it was a test to see if I would do what I said I would do in a circumstance where I had less need. I have also found a number of trials to be great blessings after the fact because of the way they made me stronger, more capable, and more able to receive greater blessings. The more I experience change, the more inclined I am to hold out on passing judgment, and simply acknowledge that Father knows a better way.
The Lord taught Joseph Smith an important principle about accountability. He said, “He that receiveth of God, let him account it of God; and let him rejoice that he is accounted of God worthy to receive.” (Doctrine & Covenants 50:34) Each phrase in this sentence is worth looking at carefully. The Lord doesn’t specify whether it is blessings or trials that we receive at His hand, just that we should acknowledge Him if He is the giver. This also implies that accountability is not just responsibility, but acknowledging duty and devotion to the giver. Lastly, the fact that we have received a trial or blessing from God implies that He feels we are ready for it. Receiving an opportunity or a lesson from God is different than taking it. Perhaps there are trials that may be self-induced, but all blessings come from God and we should rejoice that He stays involved in our personal lives.
If I can get past my initial assessment of whether an experience, opportunity, or lesson is a blessing or a trial, and merely recognize when it is of God, then my perception of the experience undergoes a change. It may not be easy, but my attitude will likely be different and the change begins to affect me internally and not just externally. This requires me to change my mind about changing my heart, a softening that helps me to yield because I know God is always right.
Many years ago when I was a teenager, I read in Matthew 3 where there is a description of John the Baptist. I looked at a footnote to John’s name and saw the following, “The Greek word denotes ‘a change of heart or mind,’ i.e. ‘a conversion.’ ” Since I share his name, I was excited that my name had that kind of meaning. It gave me the desire to be converted to a greater degree. I was inspired to actively seek a change of heart and mind rather than fear it. This simple verse had a great impact on me for many years. It was only recently that I read that same passage again and made a startling discovery. I realized that I had read the wrong footnote. The note that I had attached myself to referred to the word, “repent,” that appears in the adjacent verse. I had been mistaken about the reference perhaps, but I hadn’t been wrong about the meaning.
This epiphany (or rather, apostrophe, if you will) didn’t shatter me because I had been wrong about reality. Whether or not the verse pointed to the footnote that meant so much to me was irrelevant. The important truth, in this case, was that I saw something that inspired me, enough that I wanted to change for the better. I made a choice. The truth was, I had read something full of meaning and I internalized it. It was powerful enough that it caused me to make changes on my own. I had followed a partial idea that led me to a much better place. Occasionally when I experience a change, and the world as I know it seems to turn upside down, I find that I am just shaking off the things that may not be true. Then when everything turns right-side-up again, I have a more accurate picture that leads me to an even better place. So much of my ability to do this depends on faith and intent.
Alma the younger spoke of his father, Alma, and the change that he underwent as he listened to the prophet Abinadi. He said, “And according to his faith there was a mighty change wrought in his heart. Behold I say unto you that this is all true.” (Alma 5:12) Changes were occurring all around Alma the elder. He was being taught that many of his choices had been wrong. Even though he was a priest called to lead the people to do good, he was leading them astray. Alma began to internalize what he heard into something that he could feel. Instead of hardening his heart and resisting change, he softened his heart and acted upon what he knew to be true. Because of his faith, he wrought a mighty change.
The beauty of this example is that Alma was in control of whether he was acting or being acted upon. Rather than choosing to be angry at the implications on his character, he chose the path of greater freedom. He chose not to resist the changes the Lord wanted to make in his life. Alma also records what the Lord did for others. “Behold, he changed their hearts; yea, he awakened them out of a deep sleep, and they awoke unto God.” (Alma 5:7) This suggests that a hardened heart is sleepy and not very cognizant. Choosing to resist God lulls us further to sleep to where we have a diminished sense of reality. On the other hand, obeying God gives us increased understanding, ability, and awareness. When we are presented with an opportunity for positive change, it always leads to a better place.
As a creature of habit and weakness looking for stability and security, change does not come easy for me. A willingness to be obedient doesn’t necessarily make obedience less painful. Instead, that willingness may provide an opportunity to get to a better place with less lingering in sorrow or sleepy resistance. The difficulty of the change does not dissipate or disappear, but the opportunity to change increases my opportunity to find greater happiness sooner. If I wish to be like God, I have to be willing to change. I need to depend upon Him and rely upon His understanding to get me through the transformation. I have to trust that I will be safe within the veil of my understanding. The cocoon is there to protect me as much as provide a reason to have faith. As I am tempered, my desire may grow stronger, but so does my ability to make correct choices. Through practice, I become more and more comfortable with change, even when it is difficult. Through obedience I become more like God.
There is a small irony with change. God is constant and does not vary. “I am the Lord, I change not….” (Malachi 3:6) And yet He asks us to do something that He does not do. Why? God only asks us to change so we can become more like Him. He wants us to eliminate our imperfections and our sins. He wants us to change our hearts to match His. When we have done that, we will no longer be required to change. Until then, He will continue to provide us with opportunities to change for the better. If we see them for what they are, and we internalize these changes in our hearts, He will provide more opportunities. If not, we may find that we keep getting the same opportunity again and again. The wrapping may be different, but the bow that ties it all together is usually the same.
Change is rarely easy, but it is the path back to Father. Placing my faith in Him allows me to internalize the changes occurring around me and soften my heart. As my heart becomes more flexible, I become more like Him. I become more eligible to access His power that makes all things seem possible. All I have to do is turn to Him. Difficult challenges become more manageable and endurable when I can count on someone to help me through the process who knows exactly what I am feeling. In most cases, the only one who fits that description is the One who provided the opportunity for me to change in the first place. Receiving positive change is receiving God. Placing my faith in Him as I open my heart to change makes all the difference in the outcome.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Boyd K. Packer once said, “Things that don’t change remain the same.” It’s a nice piece of common sense, don’t you think? With the scarcity of common sense sometimes, it is helpful to have the obvious pointed out so plainly. I often wonder why some circumstances in my life don’t seem to change as fast as I would like. Then I look to see if I have done anything to merit a different outcome. “Hmm. I guess not,” is my usual observation.
My wife and I have been discussing some of our observations about change this week on our early morning walks. I won’t steal too much of her thunder, but she had a great analogy for life’s lessons. We all seem to learn the same lessons, but we often learn them in a different order. Sometimes we don’t learn from them when the opportunity is given to us. Consequently, we keep opening the same present expecting a different result. I’m not sure about you, but I often find the wrapping paper looks a little different, but the bow that wraps up the gift seems to be the same each time.
Whether or not change is desirable seems to have everything to do with choices. If I have control over my choices, and the resulting change, I feel better about things. When I feel like the change is out of my control, and that it limits my choices, I feel very uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel trapped, frozen, or confined. I feel like I am being acted upon because I am not able to control my circumstances. It is interesting to note that agency is the freedom to choose within a given set of conditions. I don’t always get to choose the conditions, which leaves me with the feeling of not having control. This doesn’t mean I have lost my agency, or my ability to choose.
Liz and I recently talked with some good friends about the types of change we have felt and experienced this year. Some changes are a gradual deluge of blessings or trials. Some are more abruptly taken or given. Occasionally a change may appear to take everything you have learned and turn it upside down, as though it no longer is true, only to find out that you just had to shake out the parts that weren’t true to make room for things that are truer. Each type of change has its place in the lessons we get to unwrap. That said, it is still easier to make sense of a difficult lesson after you have gone through it and completed it than it is to get your bearings when you are right in the middle.
One beautiful example of change is the transformation of a caterpillar to a butterfly. The caterpillar has its own type of beauty, while the butterfly has an aesthetic quality that seems to be more widely recognized. Seldom, however, have I heard anyone say, “Hey, look at that! Have you ever seen such a stunning cocoon?” Yet it is inside the veil-thin walls of a cocoon that the beautiful transformation takes place. The separation is just enough for the caterpillar to become something new and amazing, no matter how confining it appears. Having experienced mild forms of claustrophobia before, I wonder what the caterpillar feels like during the process.
Another type of change is related to temperance, or the ability to endure lessened conditions. In the case of tempered steel, a piece of steel is gradually heated to a very hot temperature. At the appropriate time and condition, the steel is then plunged into cold water, which causes a reaction in the metal. The immediate change in circumstances may seem a shock to the system, but it makes the steel much, much stronger. There are times when I have had a gradual increase in blessings, only to have them taken away in an instant. Conversely, I have also had trials that increased gradually to where it seemed I could bear no more, and then there was instantaneous relief. I remember those sudden changes acutely, with both sorrow and happiness.
Whether a slow process of being confined with in a veil or cocoon, or the abrupt process of tempering, change becomes more manageable and endurable when I can count on someone to help me through the process who knows exactly what I am feeling. In many cases, the only one who understands completely is God.
C. S. Lewis compared this transformation process to God helping us with a slight remodeling job. “Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right, and stopping the leaks in the roof, and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably, and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of– throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”
It is often difficult to tell at the onset whether God is giving us a trial or a blessing. There have been many times that I have received a blessing only to discover that it was a test to see if I would do what I said I would do in a circumstance where I had less need. I have also found a number of trials to be great blessings after the fact because of the way they made me stronger, more capable, and more able to receive greater blessings. The more I experience change, the more inclined I am to hold out on passing judgment, and simply acknowledge that Father knows a better way.
The Lord taught Joseph Smith an important principle about accountability. He said, “He that receiveth of God, let him account it of God; and let him rejoice that he is accounted of God worthy to receive.” (Doctrine & Covenants 50:34) Each phrase in this sentence is worth looking at carefully. The Lord doesn’t specify whether it is blessings or trials that we receive at His hand, just that we should acknowledge Him if He is the giver. This also implies that accountability is not just responsibility, but acknowledging duty and devotion to the giver. Lastly, the fact that we have received a trial or blessing from God implies that He feels we are ready for it. Receiving an opportunity or a lesson from God is different than taking it. Perhaps there are trials that may be self-induced, but all blessings come from God and we should rejoice that He stays involved in our personal lives.
If I can get past my initial assessment of whether an experience, opportunity, or lesson is a blessing or a trial, and merely recognize when it is of God, then my perception of the experience undergoes a change. It may not be easy, but my attitude will likely be different and the change begins to affect me internally and not just externally. This requires me to change my mind about changing my heart, a softening that helps me to yield because I know God is always right.
Many years ago when I was a teenager, I read in Matthew 3 where there is a description of John the Baptist. I looked at a footnote to John’s name and saw the following, “The Greek word denotes ‘a change of heart or mind,’ i.e. ‘a conversion.’ ” Since I share his name, I was excited that my name had that kind of meaning. It gave me the desire to be converted to a greater degree. I was inspired to actively seek a change of heart and mind rather than fear it. This simple verse had a great impact on me for many years. It was only recently that I read that same passage again and made a startling discovery. I realized that I had read the wrong footnote. The note that I had attached myself to referred to the word, “repent,” that appears in the adjacent verse. I had been mistaken about the reference perhaps, but I hadn’t been wrong about the meaning.
This epiphany (or rather, apostrophe, if you will) didn’t shatter me because I had been wrong about reality. Whether or not the verse pointed to the footnote that meant so much to me was irrelevant. The important truth, in this case, was that I saw something that inspired me, enough that I wanted to change for the better. I made a choice. The truth was, I had read something full of meaning and I internalized it. It was powerful enough that it caused me to make changes on my own. I had followed a partial idea that led me to a much better place. Occasionally when I experience a change, and the world as I know it seems to turn upside down, I find that I am just shaking off the things that may not be true. Then when everything turns right-side-up again, I have a more accurate picture that leads me to an even better place. So much of my ability to do this depends on faith and intent.
Alma the younger spoke of his father, Alma, and the change that he underwent as he listened to the prophet Abinadi. He said, “And according to his faith there was a mighty change wrought in his heart. Behold I say unto you that this is all true.” (Alma 5:12) Changes were occurring all around Alma the elder. He was being taught that many of his choices had been wrong. Even though he was a priest called to lead the people to do good, he was leading them astray. Alma began to internalize what he heard into something that he could feel. Instead of hardening his heart and resisting change, he softened his heart and acted upon what he knew to be true. Because of his faith, he wrought a mighty change.
The beauty of this example is that Alma was in control of whether he was acting or being acted upon. Rather than choosing to be angry at the implications on his character, he chose the path of greater freedom. He chose not to resist the changes the Lord wanted to make in his life. Alma also records what the Lord did for others. “Behold, he changed their hearts; yea, he awakened them out of a deep sleep, and they awoke unto God.” (Alma 5:7) This suggests that a hardened heart is sleepy and not very cognizant. Choosing to resist God lulls us further to sleep to where we have a diminished sense of reality. On the other hand, obeying God gives us increased understanding, ability, and awareness. When we are presented with an opportunity for positive change, it always leads to a better place.
As a creature of habit and weakness looking for stability and security, change does not come easy for me. A willingness to be obedient doesn’t necessarily make obedience less painful. Instead, that willingness may provide an opportunity to get to a better place with less lingering in sorrow or sleepy resistance. The difficulty of the change does not dissipate or disappear, but the opportunity to change increases my opportunity to find greater happiness sooner. If I wish to be like God, I have to be willing to change. I need to depend upon Him and rely upon His understanding to get me through the transformation. I have to trust that I will be safe within the veil of my understanding. The cocoon is there to protect me as much as provide a reason to have faith. As I am tempered, my desire may grow stronger, but so does my ability to make correct choices. Through practice, I become more and more comfortable with change, even when it is difficult. Through obedience I become more like God.
There is a small irony with change. God is constant and does not vary. “I am the Lord, I change not….” (Malachi 3:6) And yet He asks us to do something that He does not do. Why? God only asks us to change so we can become more like Him. He wants us to eliminate our imperfections and our sins. He wants us to change our hearts to match His. When we have done that, we will no longer be required to change. Until then, He will continue to provide us with opportunities to change for the better. If we see them for what they are, and we internalize these changes in our hearts, He will provide more opportunities. If not, we may find that we keep getting the same opportunity again and again. The wrapping may be different, but the bow that ties it all together is usually the same.
Change is rarely easy, but it is the path back to Father. Placing my faith in Him allows me to internalize the changes occurring around me and soften my heart. As my heart becomes more flexible, I become more like Him. I become more eligible to access His power that makes all things seem possible. All I have to do is turn to Him. Difficult challenges become more manageable and endurable when I can count on someone to help me through the process who knows exactly what I am feeling. In most cases, the only one who fits that description is the One who provided the opportunity for me to change in the first place. Receiving positive change is receiving God. Placing my faith in Him as I open my heart to change makes all the difference in the outcome.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, July 4, 2010
More
The heart,
Honest, and open, and gratitude driven,
Yearns for more and more –
To give, to share, to live
And become.
The taste of freedom
Exquisitely flavored, ceaselessly stirs.
It moves, arouses, and inspires,
Compelling many acts
To greater distance.
Each pass of freedom plunges the heart
Deeper in devotion, richer in loyalty
And stronger in love,
With a never ending search
For more.
Abraham sought to be, as others,
A greater follower of righteousness.
He searched and obtained
Both door and key
To his exaltation.
The pathway to more, the door and the key,
Are tied as with a ribbon,
Inseparably connecting
Our will with God’s
And the supernal powers of heaven.
And yet, all this is tied to more.
Freedom,
Judiciously granted, one choice at a time,
Is the power to act
Without feeling acted upon.
This is my choosing.
Sin is bondage,
And temptation is testing.
Each time I yield up my sins,
My freedom is increased
With more.
So here I spread my fears and my doubts,
My many bondages I cling to.
I extract all the parasitical things
I’ve acquired in life
And I offer.
Both hoping and waiting,
I follow the path of Abraham
Towards things that are greater.
As he was tried, I’ll take up my test.
I’ll leave my spread behind.
And yet, all this is tied to more.
God has promised to give
All that He has
To those who believe that he will -
More holiness given, increasingly able,
And only my sins to lose.
Trusting, I cast from my heart
All that God requires
With the harmful removed,
And place made ready,
He returns to me my desires.
God spoke to Abraham,
Of sand in the ocean, and stars in the heaven.
Count them, He said. All will be given.
The faithful who wait will yet receive,
In His due time.
Abraham 1:2
D&C 101:4-5
Genesis 22:17
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Honest, and open, and gratitude driven,
Yearns for more and more –
To give, to share, to live
And become.
The taste of freedom
Exquisitely flavored, ceaselessly stirs.
It moves, arouses, and inspires,
Compelling many acts
To greater distance.
Each pass of freedom plunges the heart
Deeper in devotion, richer in loyalty
And stronger in love,
With a never ending search
For more.
Abraham sought to be, as others,
A greater follower of righteousness.
He searched and obtained
Both door and key
To his exaltation.
The pathway to more, the door and the key,
Are tied as with a ribbon,
Inseparably connecting
Our will with God’s
And the supernal powers of heaven.
And yet, all this is tied to more.
Freedom,
Judiciously granted, one choice at a time,
Is the power to act
Without feeling acted upon.
This is my choosing.
Sin is bondage,
And temptation is testing.
Each time I yield up my sins,
My freedom is increased
With more.
So here I spread my fears and my doubts,
My many bondages I cling to.
I extract all the parasitical things
I’ve acquired in life
And I offer.
Both hoping and waiting,
I follow the path of Abraham
Towards things that are greater.
As he was tried, I’ll take up my test.
I’ll leave my spread behind.
And yet, all this is tied to more.
God has promised to give
All that He has
To those who believe that he will -
More holiness given, increasingly able,
And only my sins to lose.
Trusting, I cast from my heart
All that God requires
With the harmful removed,
And place made ready,
He returns to me my desires.
God spoke to Abraham,
Of sand in the ocean, and stars in the heaven.
Count them, He said. All will be given.
The faithful who wait will yet receive,
In His due time.
Abraham 1:2
D&C 101:4-5
Genesis 22:17
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, June 27, 2010
A Deeper Conversation
Anyone who knows me well also knows I love a good conversation, and the deeper the better. I love to talk with friends. The energy that comes from an enjoyable discussion of meaningful things can fuel me for days, and often longer. My interest is not talking for the sake of talking, but conversing with the intent to share. It isn’t just exchanging ideas, but finding something else in common. Sometimes it may be an idea that we agree on. Sometimes it is merely the fact that we can express different opinions openly without worry of causing offense or needing to be defensive. Most of the time, it’s just nice to have someone you can trust who feels the same. This type of sharing lifts me and inspires me.
Yesterday I had the opportunity to talk with a close friend of mine. We interrupted my errands and his lawn mowing for an unplanned visit and had just such a conversation. It picked me up for the rest of the day. In a matter of a few minutes we talked about a number of things that both of us had in common and felt strongly about. I ate it up. Consistently, I have been grateful that my friend has been willing to share with me, and challenge me, so I can grow. That is a priceless gift.
I talked with another close friend of mine yesterday as she was pulling weeds in her garden. Regrettably, we didn’t have time for a longer conversation, but the few minutes we did talk were very uplifting. I was grateful that a friendship could have that kind of effect. My feeling is that this is possible not just because of the conversation, but because we share other things in common, more than words alone. As I’ve mentioned, it’s nice to have someone you can trust who feels the same.
Many of my Salty Pockets posts this year have been tied to discussions I have had with my closest friends. We have shared ideas and have lifted each other. Then, almost without the ability to prevent it, that inspiration seems to spill out in everything else that I do. For me, this overflowing has been a beautiful thing. It has given me much to reflect on in regard to my closest relationships, and the conversations we have.
Daily, I have opportunities to talk with my Father in Heaven through prayer. These visits don’t have to be planned, but they need not be sporadic, either. Occasionally, I offer much longer prayers because my heart is so full and I need someone to talk to who I know will listen. I need a one-on-one connection with someone who understands me perfectly, so I pray. I find that when I do schedule these conversations regularly, I maintain an ongoing connection that uplifts me unlike anything else. Because we share something deeper, even a prayer that lasts a few minutes can go a long way to keeping my tank full. Each minute adds oil to my spiritual lamp as I prepare for the eleventh hour of the night.
Perhaps, like me, you have also had many conversations that aren’t so deep or substantial. Usually the subject matter is fleeting and inconsequential. On some occasions, small talk is brief and very convenient when you have something else you would rather be doing. It is easy to greet as a gesture, acknowledge the weather, and then move on to something that you consider more worthwhile. Perhaps, like me, you have wanted a deeper discussion, but the other party was anxious to get on with something else. It may not have been because you weren’t important to them, but perhaps because something else was pressing. I sometimes wonder if I do that to Father.
Planning to pray two, three, or even five times a day may be easier than matching my habit of prayer with real intent. If I really intend on talking to Father in Heaven, do I schedule time to talk with Him? Do I believe He will really listen and answer my prayers? Do I believe that I can not only pray to Him, but have a deeper conversation? My hope is to clarify the reality that Father wishes to converse with us as much as we want to converse with any close friend, and that this is really possible. The method is prayer made practical through practice.
Ashamedly I will admit that too many of my prayers with Father have had more resemblance to small talk than a deeper conversation. Instead of a dialog that has gone back and forth, I have somewhat hurriedly greeted as a gesture, acknowledged my thanks and what I needed, and then moved on to other things that were pressing. Yikes! Even as I say this it sounds awful and incriminating. If you think there is a possibility that this idea could also be mistaken as criticism towards anyone who has similar simple prayers, please pardon my offense and take a closer look at my intent.
One thing I do not wish to do is disrepute the power of a short, heartfelt prayer. Father blesses His children whenever they do what He asks, and to whatever degree that they offer. His words are clear, as given through His Only Begotten Son, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” (Matthew 7:7-8) There is great validation that the Savior repeats the same thing twice, both in future tense and in present tense, with a statement of the result as though it has already happened. That is how Father works. Whether in the past or the future, it is the same. He does not lie, but keeps His word.
Perhaps, for those moments where I am looking for more, and I need more, I can plan for a deeper conversation with Father in Heaven. If I look beyond simply pouring out my heart to Him, hoping that it will be enough, I can pause to listen to what He has to say. If I am uplifted by conversation with a close friend that is deeper than small talk and strengthens my connection with that friend, why could I not enjoy the same blessing with a Father who loves me more than I can comprehend?
This idea of prayer as a form of conversation presumes a few points, which I personally have found to be true. First, the heavens are open. Father does not intend for us to walk aimlessly without direction. Rather, He speaks to His servants the prophets, and He will speak to us when we ask. Second, Father wants to give us every good thing. He is not selfish, but is waiting for us to be selfless so He can trust us with His treasure. Third, He has commanded us to ask for the things we need. This allows us to grow in faith when he answers our prayers. The only thing we have to lose is our faith if we choose not to ask at all. Fourth, God gives to all men liberally and doesn’t get upset when we ask Him for help. He is ready to give us more than we ask for, if we ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, and have faith in His son, Jesus Christ. If we believe these things to be true, then all that is left is to try.
The idea of prayer being conversational may sound disrespectful, as though it were too casual. As we offer up the prayers of our hearts, if we do not believe there can be an exchange, we shortchange our faith. We prevent Father from giving us the blessings He wants to give us. I also believe that we need to approach God in reverence and respect. Because He is perfect and I am not, I should not approach Him with a request as though I were haggling for a price at a store, believing that I had something of equal value to trade. Instead, I need to realize that His ways are not my ways. His are always better because they are perfect. His gifts are always greater than anything I have yet imagined. When I am willing to submit my will to His, Father can pour out blessings that will overflow into every part of my life because I am learning to be obedient. I am learning to be trusted.
An obvious follow up question to this notion may be, “If I haven’t had a conversation with God before, how can I begin?” I believe we start by understanding the two most important parts of a conversation – learning how to talk, and learning how to listen.
Very little caution has been given to what we say in our prayers except where we are presumptuous, proud, or selfish. “Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers.” (Doctrine & Covenants 112:10) Ask, “that all may be benefited that seek or that ask of me, that ask and not for a sign that they may consume it upon their lusts.” (Doctrine & Covenants 46:9) When you pray, “use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.” (Matthew 6:7) Instead, “ask whatsoever you will in the name of Jesus and it shall be done. But know this, it shall be given you what you shall ask….” (Doctrine & Covenants 50:29-30)
One of my favorite examples of this attitude of prayer is when the Lord Jesus Christ was teaching His people among the Nephites. “And it came to pass that when Jesus had thus prayed unto the Father, he came unto his disciples, and behold, they did still continue, without ceasing, to pray unto him; and they did not multiply many words, for it was given unto them what they should pray, and they were filled with desire.” (3 Nephi 19:24)
What a wonderful thing, to be taught by the Holy Spirit how to pray, and to be filled with the desire that allows us to do so! Whenever I don’t feel like praying, but I know I should, I consider this scripture. Then I ask Father in Heaven to help me. I ask Him to teach me how to pray again and to fill me with desire as He did the Nephites. I have found this simple step works as often as I have the desire, or even as often as I wish I had the desire.
If I believe that Father wants to give me every good thing, this belief should lead me to have faith enough to trust Him. It should help me to want what he wants me to have, because it will be better. This doesn’t mean that I have to give up my desires. It also doesn’t require that I add the tagline, “if it be thy will,” at the end of my prayer. What it does mean is that I can ask him to teach me how to pray. I can ask Father to validate what I am praying for while I am in the act of praying. Because the heavens are open, and God does speak to His children, I can ask if what I am praying for is the right thing. But this requires the second part of the conversation, namely, listening.
The Lord has told us that He will give us answers to our prayers by confirming our thoughts and feelings through the power of the Holy Ghost. First, he expects us to study the issue to the best of our ability. Next, we should come to the best conclusion we can based on what we know. Then we should ask if our conclusion is right. If we are right, He will tell us by confirming truth in our minds and in our hearts. (Doctrine & Covenants 8:2-3) A stupor of thought will suggest that it is not true, but the warm burning feeling of peace that comes from the Holy Spirit will help us to recognize that it is true. (Doctrine & Covenants 9:7-9)
Applying this pattern to listening suggests a simple way to carry on a conversation through prayer. If I have a question I hope to have answered, and I ask, believing that Father will answer me, I should save time to wait for a response. If you haven’t done this before, I might suggest starting with a simple question to which you might expect a simple answer. You might try questions such as, “Father, are you there?” “Are you listening?” “Do you love me?” “Did Jesus really give His life for me?” And then wait for the confirming feeling. Yet, it is important not to forget the pattern for inspiration and revelation. Study it out, come to a conclusion, and then ask if you are right. If I feel that something is true, and then I feel a peaceful confirming feeling that reinforces it in my heart and in my mind, then I begin to understand how revelation works.
After experimenting, I may move on to less simple questions. “Are there prophets today?” “Do you speak to them?” “Is the Bible a true book?” “Is the Book of Mormon true?” If God has promised to answer such questions by the power of the Holy Ghost, then I should not doubt that He can answer more complicated questions. In this instance, if I want to be taught how and what to pray for, I might say, “Father, I am having a hard time making a decision. I have a few choices I can choose from, and I would really like this option, but I’m not sure it will be in my best interest. As I have looked at the possibilities the best I can, I feel that this is the way to go. Am I right? What would Thou have me do?”
In most conversations, one question may lead to another. By asking the right questions, and by coming to my own conclusions during my prayer, I may have additional questions to ask. The first time I experiment, I may only have one question. But, if I make prayer practical through practice, I may find that my prayer becomes a question and answer session where more information is shared. Those prayers have come to mean a lot to me, and they work. Prayer is such a simple yet powerful act. It is a means of communication that allows us to access the power of God and receive direction in our lives.
The key word to receiving “more” is merely to “receive.” The prophet Jacob taught, “Wherefore, brethren, seek not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand. For behold, ye yourselves know that he counseleth in wisdom, and in justice, and in great mercy, over all his works.” (Jacob 4:10) In order to receive answers to prayer, I must be willing to tell Father what I would like, come to a conclusion, ask if it be right, and then be willing to accept the answer. It is not appropriate for me to tell Him what to do, or tell Him what is right. If I am not willing to accept a perfect answer from a perfect being, I may not be in the right frame of mind to receive an answer at all. This dilemma goes back to my first premise that a conversation has two parts. If I am not willing to listen, I am not willing to have a conversation. Contrary wise, if I am not only willing to listen, but I am willing to ask and continue learning, then I am prepared to talk with God.
Small talk has its appropriate times and places, but I usually get out what I put into it. It may be, if I want small blessings, that small talk might be enough to help me get what I need. I take great comfort, however, that Father is waiting for me to realize that He really is there to listen. He does want to help, and He will when I am ready to let Him. It’s up to me to take a few extra minutes to find sincerity and real intent. It’s now my decision whether I will be sporadic or plan time for a scheduled conversation. In either case, He is ready and is always available. The sky is the limit. While spending a few minutes with a close friend is nice, my preference is always a good conversation; with Father, the deeper the better.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Yesterday I had the opportunity to talk with a close friend of mine. We interrupted my errands and his lawn mowing for an unplanned visit and had just such a conversation. It picked me up for the rest of the day. In a matter of a few minutes we talked about a number of things that both of us had in common and felt strongly about. I ate it up. Consistently, I have been grateful that my friend has been willing to share with me, and challenge me, so I can grow. That is a priceless gift.
I talked with another close friend of mine yesterday as she was pulling weeds in her garden. Regrettably, we didn’t have time for a longer conversation, but the few minutes we did talk were very uplifting. I was grateful that a friendship could have that kind of effect. My feeling is that this is possible not just because of the conversation, but because we share other things in common, more than words alone. As I’ve mentioned, it’s nice to have someone you can trust who feels the same.
Many of my Salty Pockets posts this year have been tied to discussions I have had with my closest friends. We have shared ideas and have lifted each other. Then, almost without the ability to prevent it, that inspiration seems to spill out in everything else that I do. For me, this overflowing has been a beautiful thing. It has given me much to reflect on in regard to my closest relationships, and the conversations we have.
Daily, I have opportunities to talk with my Father in Heaven through prayer. These visits don’t have to be planned, but they need not be sporadic, either. Occasionally, I offer much longer prayers because my heart is so full and I need someone to talk to who I know will listen. I need a one-on-one connection with someone who understands me perfectly, so I pray. I find that when I do schedule these conversations regularly, I maintain an ongoing connection that uplifts me unlike anything else. Because we share something deeper, even a prayer that lasts a few minutes can go a long way to keeping my tank full. Each minute adds oil to my spiritual lamp as I prepare for the eleventh hour of the night.
Perhaps, like me, you have also had many conversations that aren’t so deep or substantial. Usually the subject matter is fleeting and inconsequential. On some occasions, small talk is brief and very convenient when you have something else you would rather be doing. It is easy to greet as a gesture, acknowledge the weather, and then move on to something that you consider more worthwhile. Perhaps, like me, you have wanted a deeper discussion, but the other party was anxious to get on with something else. It may not have been because you weren’t important to them, but perhaps because something else was pressing. I sometimes wonder if I do that to Father.
Planning to pray two, three, or even five times a day may be easier than matching my habit of prayer with real intent. If I really intend on talking to Father in Heaven, do I schedule time to talk with Him? Do I believe He will really listen and answer my prayers? Do I believe that I can not only pray to Him, but have a deeper conversation? My hope is to clarify the reality that Father wishes to converse with us as much as we want to converse with any close friend, and that this is really possible. The method is prayer made practical through practice.
Ashamedly I will admit that too many of my prayers with Father have had more resemblance to small talk than a deeper conversation. Instead of a dialog that has gone back and forth, I have somewhat hurriedly greeted as a gesture, acknowledged my thanks and what I needed, and then moved on to other things that were pressing. Yikes! Even as I say this it sounds awful and incriminating. If you think there is a possibility that this idea could also be mistaken as criticism towards anyone who has similar simple prayers, please pardon my offense and take a closer look at my intent.
One thing I do not wish to do is disrepute the power of a short, heartfelt prayer. Father blesses His children whenever they do what He asks, and to whatever degree that they offer. His words are clear, as given through His Only Begotten Son, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” (Matthew 7:7-8) There is great validation that the Savior repeats the same thing twice, both in future tense and in present tense, with a statement of the result as though it has already happened. That is how Father works. Whether in the past or the future, it is the same. He does not lie, but keeps His word.
Perhaps, for those moments where I am looking for more, and I need more, I can plan for a deeper conversation with Father in Heaven. If I look beyond simply pouring out my heart to Him, hoping that it will be enough, I can pause to listen to what He has to say. If I am uplifted by conversation with a close friend that is deeper than small talk and strengthens my connection with that friend, why could I not enjoy the same blessing with a Father who loves me more than I can comprehend?
This idea of prayer as a form of conversation presumes a few points, which I personally have found to be true. First, the heavens are open. Father does not intend for us to walk aimlessly without direction. Rather, He speaks to His servants the prophets, and He will speak to us when we ask. Second, Father wants to give us every good thing. He is not selfish, but is waiting for us to be selfless so He can trust us with His treasure. Third, He has commanded us to ask for the things we need. This allows us to grow in faith when he answers our prayers. The only thing we have to lose is our faith if we choose not to ask at all. Fourth, God gives to all men liberally and doesn’t get upset when we ask Him for help. He is ready to give us more than we ask for, if we ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, and have faith in His son, Jesus Christ. If we believe these things to be true, then all that is left is to try.
The idea of prayer being conversational may sound disrespectful, as though it were too casual. As we offer up the prayers of our hearts, if we do not believe there can be an exchange, we shortchange our faith. We prevent Father from giving us the blessings He wants to give us. I also believe that we need to approach God in reverence and respect. Because He is perfect and I am not, I should not approach Him with a request as though I were haggling for a price at a store, believing that I had something of equal value to trade. Instead, I need to realize that His ways are not my ways. His are always better because they are perfect. His gifts are always greater than anything I have yet imagined. When I am willing to submit my will to His, Father can pour out blessings that will overflow into every part of my life because I am learning to be obedient. I am learning to be trusted.
An obvious follow up question to this notion may be, “If I haven’t had a conversation with God before, how can I begin?” I believe we start by understanding the two most important parts of a conversation – learning how to talk, and learning how to listen.
Very little caution has been given to what we say in our prayers except where we are presumptuous, proud, or selfish. “Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers.” (Doctrine & Covenants 112:10) Ask, “that all may be benefited that seek or that ask of me, that ask and not for a sign that they may consume it upon their lusts.” (Doctrine & Covenants 46:9) When you pray, “use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.” (Matthew 6:7) Instead, “ask whatsoever you will in the name of Jesus and it shall be done. But know this, it shall be given you what you shall ask….” (Doctrine & Covenants 50:29-30)
One of my favorite examples of this attitude of prayer is when the Lord Jesus Christ was teaching His people among the Nephites. “And it came to pass that when Jesus had thus prayed unto the Father, he came unto his disciples, and behold, they did still continue, without ceasing, to pray unto him; and they did not multiply many words, for it was given unto them what they should pray, and they were filled with desire.” (3 Nephi 19:24)
What a wonderful thing, to be taught by the Holy Spirit how to pray, and to be filled with the desire that allows us to do so! Whenever I don’t feel like praying, but I know I should, I consider this scripture. Then I ask Father in Heaven to help me. I ask Him to teach me how to pray again and to fill me with desire as He did the Nephites. I have found this simple step works as often as I have the desire, or even as often as I wish I had the desire.
If I believe that Father wants to give me every good thing, this belief should lead me to have faith enough to trust Him. It should help me to want what he wants me to have, because it will be better. This doesn’t mean that I have to give up my desires. It also doesn’t require that I add the tagline, “if it be thy will,” at the end of my prayer. What it does mean is that I can ask him to teach me how to pray. I can ask Father to validate what I am praying for while I am in the act of praying. Because the heavens are open, and God does speak to His children, I can ask if what I am praying for is the right thing. But this requires the second part of the conversation, namely, listening.
The Lord has told us that He will give us answers to our prayers by confirming our thoughts and feelings through the power of the Holy Ghost. First, he expects us to study the issue to the best of our ability. Next, we should come to the best conclusion we can based on what we know. Then we should ask if our conclusion is right. If we are right, He will tell us by confirming truth in our minds and in our hearts. (Doctrine & Covenants 8:2-3) A stupor of thought will suggest that it is not true, but the warm burning feeling of peace that comes from the Holy Spirit will help us to recognize that it is true. (Doctrine & Covenants 9:7-9)
Applying this pattern to listening suggests a simple way to carry on a conversation through prayer. If I have a question I hope to have answered, and I ask, believing that Father will answer me, I should save time to wait for a response. If you haven’t done this before, I might suggest starting with a simple question to which you might expect a simple answer. You might try questions such as, “Father, are you there?” “Are you listening?” “Do you love me?” “Did Jesus really give His life for me?” And then wait for the confirming feeling. Yet, it is important not to forget the pattern for inspiration and revelation. Study it out, come to a conclusion, and then ask if you are right. If I feel that something is true, and then I feel a peaceful confirming feeling that reinforces it in my heart and in my mind, then I begin to understand how revelation works.
After experimenting, I may move on to less simple questions. “Are there prophets today?” “Do you speak to them?” “Is the Bible a true book?” “Is the Book of Mormon true?” If God has promised to answer such questions by the power of the Holy Ghost, then I should not doubt that He can answer more complicated questions. In this instance, if I want to be taught how and what to pray for, I might say, “Father, I am having a hard time making a decision. I have a few choices I can choose from, and I would really like this option, but I’m not sure it will be in my best interest. As I have looked at the possibilities the best I can, I feel that this is the way to go. Am I right? What would Thou have me do?”
In most conversations, one question may lead to another. By asking the right questions, and by coming to my own conclusions during my prayer, I may have additional questions to ask. The first time I experiment, I may only have one question. But, if I make prayer practical through practice, I may find that my prayer becomes a question and answer session where more information is shared. Those prayers have come to mean a lot to me, and they work. Prayer is such a simple yet powerful act. It is a means of communication that allows us to access the power of God and receive direction in our lives.
The key word to receiving “more” is merely to “receive.” The prophet Jacob taught, “Wherefore, brethren, seek not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand. For behold, ye yourselves know that he counseleth in wisdom, and in justice, and in great mercy, over all his works.” (Jacob 4:10) In order to receive answers to prayer, I must be willing to tell Father what I would like, come to a conclusion, ask if it be right, and then be willing to accept the answer. It is not appropriate for me to tell Him what to do, or tell Him what is right. If I am not willing to accept a perfect answer from a perfect being, I may not be in the right frame of mind to receive an answer at all. This dilemma goes back to my first premise that a conversation has two parts. If I am not willing to listen, I am not willing to have a conversation. Contrary wise, if I am not only willing to listen, but I am willing to ask and continue learning, then I am prepared to talk with God.
Small talk has its appropriate times and places, but I usually get out what I put into it. It may be, if I want small blessings, that small talk might be enough to help me get what I need. I take great comfort, however, that Father is waiting for me to realize that He really is there to listen. He does want to help, and He will when I am ready to let Him. It’s up to me to take a few extra minutes to find sincerity and real intent. It’s now my decision whether I will be sporadic or plan time for a scheduled conversation. In either case, He is ready and is always available. The sky is the limit. While spending a few minutes with a close friend is nice, my preference is always a good conversation; with Father, the deeper the better.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, June 20, 2010
The Journey toward Father
Walking has a way of putting me in an introspective mood. Actually, I quite enjoy that. I do some of my best thinking while I am walking. I wonder if perhaps that is because there is something literal about getting from here to there that suggests the same pattern to the mind – something that allows the thinker to arrive at a conclusion at roughly the same time as the physical destination. Either way, quiet moments to do little but think seem to come infrequently for me, so I take them when I can get them.
Running is another favorite pastime of mine. It’s an acquired taste, you might say, one that I didn’t like at all when I was younger. In fact, I was pretty adamant about hating it. Running for the sake of running seemed pointless. It wasn’t until I became very proficient in walking long distances that running held any interest for me. I realized that I could cover more ground in the same amount of time by simply increasing my pace a small amount. In that moment, I started to turn the key that unlocked my understanding. I saw running, not as arriving at a destination quickly, but a faster way to enjoy the same journey. It’s a subtle difference, I know, but still significant. Certainly, speed is a part of the experience – and so is agility, freedom, ability, performance, fitness, and the runner’s high – but you can’t leave out the journey, for me, or the picture isn’t complete. I love the things I get to see and experience along the way.
Writing, as you might guess, is another interest I have acquired that has surprised me. In most of my younger years, writing was something I could do, but I didn’t enjoy it. Like running, it was a means to an end, and I wanted it to end. I wanted to hurry up and be done so I could do something else. Once I realized that writing complimented some of my other interests, such as thinking and being creative, I looked at this task differently. I changed. Writing was not just something I did, it became something I am. It became a journey.
For the past eleven years, much of my little spare time has been poured into a single, but large, idea – a story. Most of the time, the idea sits on a shelf and neither walks nor runs. It doesn’t even crawl. The idea just sits and patiently waits for a chance to travel. For now, the story is lucky if a hint can peek through my other responsibilities the way glimpses of early morning sunshine spill through planks in a fence to punctuate shadows on the sidewalk. It’s as though I am walking along, with nothing exceptional to note, when a spark of an idea flashes into my mind, quickening my step. Those moments are still cool. The inspiration is a different type of energy that helps me to run.
Getting back to something you haven’t done recently can take more time than the task alone. When I don’t work on my story frequently, I feel a difference. I know the story well but there is a lack of familiarity that has everything to do with mindset. I have to be in the right frame of mind without a lot of distractions. With limited time, I need something that can transport me quickly. What I need is a faster vehicle to get back into my story. In this case, creativity is not the destination, it is the journey.
A few years ago, I realized the vehicle I needed was something that would remind me of where I left off. Better yet, the something should remind me of how I felt when I last stopped so I could pick up right where I left off. That something became a lot of somethings. I created maps, cultures, histories, sketches, models, sculptures, and drawings of characters. I even developed some simple musical themes that reminded me of places or people in the story. Then when I had some time to stop and think, instead of crawling back to my story, I could run and spend less time becoming familiar again.
More recently, I decided to go running on a trail I hadn’t been to for a very long time. It was the place where I first started walking a lot. It was also a place where I had spent hours and hours thinking about my story. I hadn’t been on this trail for more than a few minutes when I realized that I was humming some musical themes from my story. In fact, I was thinking of a few of the characters and had refined a new plot twist, almost without giving any thought to it at all. I was grateful to find that my faster vehicle was still in great working order. With the right conditions, it almost had a mind of its own. I was amazed that the mental vehicle I had chosen had that much potential ability.
Connections are powerful. I have discovered many, many times this year the influence of beautiful connections. Some, like precious metals, you expect to tarnish over time. If you own brass or silver, you also likely expect to do some polishing to keep them looking nice. Yet, there are other connections, like gold or platinum, that do not tarnish over time. They come with a greater cost and are more precious because of it. Those connections are still active when we are distracted by the planks of life’s fences. I am so grateful for these!
Looking back, I find that many of my interests come from my Dad. He likes to take long walks, he likes to write, and he is a deep thinker. He and my Mom taught me to walk, but I didn’t appreciate the love of walking for many years following. I didn’t pick up my love of writing by writing with him. However, watching him for many years taught me, inspired me, and gave me a passion for it. He taught me spelling, grammar, and he proofread and edited many papers for me while growing up. While I didn’t pick up the love for those things at the time, I have always loved him, and that connection has tied me to the things that he likes in a very powerful way.
Prayer is another pastime of mine that has taken years to develop. It is one that connects me to my Father. The interesting thing to me about this pastime is that I haven’t arrived yet – I am still working on it – and yet it has always been rewarding and fulfilling. Because I haven’t arrived, or mastered prayer yet, this leads me to believe that, like other things in my life, prayer is a journey and not a destination.
Father in heaven knows all things, and He knows the end from the beginning. He asks us to pray to Him, not so He can learn about us, but so we can learn about ourselves and how we can return to live with Him. As we pray to him, we can discover what it is we are really thankful for. We have an opportunity to count our blessings, rather than just be thankful for all of them collectively. Prayer also allows us to counsel with God, or rather receive counsel from Him. Each of us have a story to write. Father is more than willing to proofread and edit our decisions, but only when we ask or seek it from Him.
Fear, treasure, and love are powerful motivators for doing good. Fear may get us started, and treasure may make things more interesting, but love is the most precious and powerful motivation. In fact, it is the only motivation that is powerful enough to truly help us become like our Father. All other things may fail, but the pure love of God will not. This being the case, how can I get beyond crawling in my prayers? How can I learn to walk and then love to run? What can I do to make this connection more precious? I believe the answer is in my choice of vehicles.
So that I am not mistaken, please allow me to clarify that I am not trying to pray faster or get to heaven any quicker. What I hope to do is find a better vehicle for myself that makes my prayers more meaningful. I want to look forward to my prayers as my favorite part of the day or night, and not just something I need to do to earn a reward. If prayer is a journey, and there is lot to see and learn along the way, I want to make the most of my prayers. Just as I did with my story, I want to pick up right where I left off without losing any familiarity. What I need are the right type of somethings to help me, almost without thinking.
I feel we, as Father’s children, are very fortunate that He has already created such vehicles to pull at our hearts. He has spoken with prophets for centuries to write down His words and teachings. He has inspired servants who have taught us to study these vehicles every day. We have been given churches and temples as places to worship, after preparing our own hearts as places for worshipful service. Priesthood authority has been given to do His work and His will on earth as though He were here Himself. We are led by revelation as inspiration comes through the gift of the Holy Ghost. When we use each of these to reconnect with our Father, they will turn our hearts toward Him. Almost without thinking about it, we will begin to love the things that He loves because we are consciously thinking about the things that will connect our hearts to His. Doing so will make our prayers more meaningful and will enlarge our capacity to love as He does.
Prayer is one of the most powerful connections we can have with Father. Patiently He waits for us to turn our hearts to Him. I may pray often, but if I don’t pray with real intent and focus, I feel a difference. I feel distant. The act of prayer alone may not take much time, but reconnecting after taking a leave of absence does. To feel connected, I don’t have to pray on my knees constantly, I just have to keep a prayerful attitude in my heart. By doing so, I am able to find my way more quickly. More importantly I am able to find and keep the spirit with less difficulty. Then it becomes easier and easier to remember the change of heart I once felt. It stays fresh in my heart and mind as I turn my thoughts toward Him.
Each of us has a story to write with our personal decisions. I know my editor is willing to make all kinds of suggestions on how I can be happier, and how I can feel more of His love, but only when I am ready. Once I reconnect with Him in prayer, it is up to me to decide when I will walk and when I will run. Father lets each of us set our own pace. He has also promised to guide us and comfort us along the way. In short, He has done everything he possibly can to make the journey rewarding and fulfilling. All that is needed is for me to decide to return to my story and begin writing.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Running is another favorite pastime of mine. It’s an acquired taste, you might say, one that I didn’t like at all when I was younger. In fact, I was pretty adamant about hating it. Running for the sake of running seemed pointless. It wasn’t until I became very proficient in walking long distances that running held any interest for me. I realized that I could cover more ground in the same amount of time by simply increasing my pace a small amount. In that moment, I started to turn the key that unlocked my understanding. I saw running, not as arriving at a destination quickly, but a faster way to enjoy the same journey. It’s a subtle difference, I know, but still significant. Certainly, speed is a part of the experience – and so is agility, freedom, ability, performance, fitness, and the runner’s high – but you can’t leave out the journey, for me, or the picture isn’t complete. I love the things I get to see and experience along the way.
Writing, as you might guess, is another interest I have acquired that has surprised me. In most of my younger years, writing was something I could do, but I didn’t enjoy it. Like running, it was a means to an end, and I wanted it to end. I wanted to hurry up and be done so I could do something else. Once I realized that writing complimented some of my other interests, such as thinking and being creative, I looked at this task differently. I changed. Writing was not just something I did, it became something I am. It became a journey.
For the past eleven years, much of my little spare time has been poured into a single, but large, idea – a story. Most of the time, the idea sits on a shelf and neither walks nor runs. It doesn’t even crawl. The idea just sits and patiently waits for a chance to travel. For now, the story is lucky if a hint can peek through my other responsibilities the way glimpses of early morning sunshine spill through planks in a fence to punctuate shadows on the sidewalk. It’s as though I am walking along, with nothing exceptional to note, when a spark of an idea flashes into my mind, quickening my step. Those moments are still cool. The inspiration is a different type of energy that helps me to run.
Getting back to something you haven’t done recently can take more time than the task alone. When I don’t work on my story frequently, I feel a difference. I know the story well but there is a lack of familiarity that has everything to do with mindset. I have to be in the right frame of mind without a lot of distractions. With limited time, I need something that can transport me quickly. What I need is a faster vehicle to get back into my story. In this case, creativity is not the destination, it is the journey.
A few years ago, I realized the vehicle I needed was something that would remind me of where I left off. Better yet, the something should remind me of how I felt when I last stopped so I could pick up right where I left off. That something became a lot of somethings. I created maps, cultures, histories, sketches, models, sculptures, and drawings of characters. I even developed some simple musical themes that reminded me of places or people in the story. Then when I had some time to stop and think, instead of crawling back to my story, I could run and spend less time becoming familiar again.
More recently, I decided to go running on a trail I hadn’t been to for a very long time. It was the place where I first started walking a lot. It was also a place where I had spent hours and hours thinking about my story. I hadn’t been on this trail for more than a few minutes when I realized that I was humming some musical themes from my story. In fact, I was thinking of a few of the characters and had refined a new plot twist, almost without giving any thought to it at all. I was grateful to find that my faster vehicle was still in great working order. With the right conditions, it almost had a mind of its own. I was amazed that the mental vehicle I had chosen had that much potential ability.
Connections are powerful. I have discovered many, many times this year the influence of beautiful connections. Some, like precious metals, you expect to tarnish over time. If you own brass or silver, you also likely expect to do some polishing to keep them looking nice. Yet, there are other connections, like gold or platinum, that do not tarnish over time. They come with a greater cost and are more precious because of it. Those connections are still active when we are distracted by the planks of life’s fences. I am so grateful for these!
Looking back, I find that many of my interests come from my Dad. He likes to take long walks, he likes to write, and he is a deep thinker. He and my Mom taught me to walk, but I didn’t appreciate the love of walking for many years following. I didn’t pick up my love of writing by writing with him. However, watching him for many years taught me, inspired me, and gave me a passion for it. He taught me spelling, grammar, and he proofread and edited many papers for me while growing up. While I didn’t pick up the love for those things at the time, I have always loved him, and that connection has tied me to the things that he likes in a very powerful way.
Prayer is another pastime of mine that has taken years to develop. It is one that connects me to my Father. The interesting thing to me about this pastime is that I haven’t arrived yet – I am still working on it – and yet it has always been rewarding and fulfilling. Because I haven’t arrived, or mastered prayer yet, this leads me to believe that, like other things in my life, prayer is a journey and not a destination.
Father in heaven knows all things, and He knows the end from the beginning. He asks us to pray to Him, not so He can learn about us, but so we can learn about ourselves and how we can return to live with Him. As we pray to him, we can discover what it is we are really thankful for. We have an opportunity to count our blessings, rather than just be thankful for all of them collectively. Prayer also allows us to counsel with God, or rather receive counsel from Him. Each of us have a story to write. Father is more than willing to proofread and edit our decisions, but only when we ask or seek it from Him.
Fear, treasure, and love are powerful motivators for doing good. Fear may get us started, and treasure may make things more interesting, but love is the most precious and powerful motivation. In fact, it is the only motivation that is powerful enough to truly help us become like our Father. All other things may fail, but the pure love of God will not. This being the case, how can I get beyond crawling in my prayers? How can I learn to walk and then love to run? What can I do to make this connection more precious? I believe the answer is in my choice of vehicles.
So that I am not mistaken, please allow me to clarify that I am not trying to pray faster or get to heaven any quicker. What I hope to do is find a better vehicle for myself that makes my prayers more meaningful. I want to look forward to my prayers as my favorite part of the day or night, and not just something I need to do to earn a reward. If prayer is a journey, and there is lot to see and learn along the way, I want to make the most of my prayers. Just as I did with my story, I want to pick up right where I left off without losing any familiarity. What I need are the right type of somethings to help me, almost without thinking.
I feel we, as Father’s children, are very fortunate that He has already created such vehicles to pull at our hearts. He has spoken with prophets for centuries to write down His words and teachings. He has inspired servants who have taught us to study these vehicles every day. We have been given churches and temples as places to worship, after preparing our own hearts as places for worshipful service. Priesthood authority has been given to do His work and His will on earth as though He were here Himself. We are led by revelation as inspiration comes through the gift of the Holy Ghost. When we use each of these to reconnect with our Father, they will turn our hearts toward Him. Almost without thinking about it, we will begin to love the things that He loves because we are consciously thinking about the things that will connect our hearts to His. Doing so will make our prayers more meaningful and will enlarge our capacity to love as He does.
Prayer is one of the most powerful connections we can have with Father. Patiently He waits for us to turn our hearts to Him. I may pray often, but if I don’t pray with real intent and focus, I feel a difference. I feel distant. The act of prayer alone may not take much time, but reconnecting after taking a leave of absence does. To feel connected, I don’t have to pray on my knees constantly, I just have to keep a prayerful attitude in my heart. By doing so, I am able to find my way more quickly. More importantly I am able to find and keep the spirit with less difficulty. Then it becomes easier and easier to remember the change of heart I once felt. It stays fresh in my heart and mind as I turn my thoughts toward Him.
Each of us has a story to write with our personal decisions. I know my editor is willing to make all kinds of suggestions on how I can be happier, and how I can feel more of His love, but only when I am ready. Once I reconnect with Him in prayer, it is up to me to decide when I will walk and when I will run. Father lets each of us set our own pace. He has also promised to guide us and comfort us along the way. In short, He has done everything he possibly can to make the journey rewarding and fulfilling. All that is needed is for me to decide to return to my story and begin writing.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Death is a Doorway
Standing
At the face of the reposed stone
Inscripted with names,
I rest
And remember
The mother I’ve never met.
I long
And yearn some more
For greeting phrases that await my arrival
In the next place,
A passage I have not yet read.
Waiting,
I reflect on my faithful friend
Who just now left,
So suddenly,
Passing through a door
In the ground –
A door admitting entrance
More readily
Than granting one return passage.
His place is further,
Another part in the book,
The next grand adventure.
Death,
A doorway not to be feared,
With plot largely unknown,
Is a path
From life to life
Between chapters of experience.
One school is finished,
Another begins,
But the life that passes through,
A common thread,
Is still the same,
Only more.
Death is merely a passage
To be written.
Mostly unseen,
One piece of my heart died,
Entering
The consuming furnace of unfamiliar trial
And test
As words I penned
Were etched in my heart by choice.
Repeatedly
My heart emerged again
And again,
Largely the same and unharmed.
Lesser parts purged,
The better made clearer.
The last time I passed away,
In the first place,
Or that which came before,
I left
Those who were familiar
And loved me.
In keeping my first estate,
I gave it up
And was given another.
Even now, I remember nothing
About that death.
Upon my leaving,
I was affectionately received
By family.
Did I lose or did I gain?
Which did it seem at first,
In that place?
Did I know
The expanse of loss
Makes room for more given?
Did I see
Losing the wrong is always better
And losing good
Temporary?
Did I know I would know
Someday?
Now I consider
The arrival of some future point
When my time here
Becomes
A passage in a book.
Will I fear that experience,
New and unfamiliar,
As though it is the first time?
Or will I be ready to turn another page
Just like the last?
If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.
Each time I die,
And offer one more part
That clings for existence,
The pattern of life is reread.
As long as I am willing,
The pathway seems to lead my heart and mind
Further up and further in.
If I remember, and feel,
I do not fear.
Verily,
It is written.
Books are inscripted,
Capturing the things we forget,
The memories
That escape our minds,
And the lessons
We thought we knew.
Death,
Is a doorway
Not to be feared,
But respected
With honest tears
In hope of the things we know
To wash away our fears.
“To die will be an awfully big adventure.” James M. Barrie, Peter Pan.
“One school is finished, and the time has come for another to begin.” Richard Bach, Jonathan Livingston Seagull.
“If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.” (Doctrine & Covenants 38:30)
“Come further up, come further in.” C. S. Lewis, The Last Battle.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
At the face of the reposed stone
Inscripted with names,
I rest
And remember
The mother I’ve never met.
I long
And yearn some more
For greeting phrases that await my arrival
In the next place,
A passage I have not yet read.
Waiting,
I reflect on my faithful friend
Who just now left,
So suddenly,
Passing through a door
In the ground –
A door admitting entrance
More readily
Than granting one return passage.
His place is further,
Another part in the book,
The next grand adventure.
Death,
A doorway not to be feared,
With plot largely unknown,
Is a path
From life to life
Between chapters of experience.
One school is finished,
Another begins,
But the life that passes through,
A common thread,
Is still the same,
Only more.
Death is merely a passage
To be written.
Mostly unseen,
One piece of my heart died,
Entering
The consuming furnace of unfamiliar trial
And test
As words I penned
Were etched in my heart by choice.
Repeatedly
My heart emerged again
And again,
Largely the same and unharmed.
Lesser parts purged,
The better made clearer.
The last time I passed away,
In the first place,
Or that which came before,
I left
Those who were familiar
And loved me.
In keeping my first estate,
I gave it up
And was given another.
Even now, I remember nothing
About that death.
Upon my leaving,
I was affectionately received
By family.
Did I lose or did I gain?
Which did it seem at first,
In that place?
Did I know
The expanse of loss
Makes room for more given?
Did I see
Losing the wrong is always better
And losing good
Temporary?
Did I know I would know
Someday?
Now I consider
The arrival of some future point
When my time here
Becomes
A passage in a book.
Will I fear that experience,
New and unfamiliar,
As though it is the first time?
Or will I be ready to turn another page
Just like the last?
If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.
Each time I die,
And offer one more part
That clings for existence,
The pattern of life is reread.
As long as I am willing,
The pathway seems to lead my heart and mind
Further up and further in.
If I remember, and feel,
I do not fear.
Verily,
It is written.
Books are inscripted,
Capturing the things we forget,
The memories
That escape our minds,
And the lessons
We thought we knew.
Death,
Is a doorway
Not to be feared,
But respected
With honest tears
In hope of the things we know
To wash away our fears.
“To die will be an awfully big adventure.” James M. Barrie, Peter Pan.
“One school is finished, and the time has come for another to begin.” Richard Bach, Jonathan Livingston Seagull.
“If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.” (Doctrine & Covenants 38:30)
“Come further up, come further in.” C. S. Lewis, The Last Battle.
http://saltypockets.blogspot.com/
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